Problems in the locker room, with a side order of sexual harassment

Postby **Xeno** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:14 pm

If this thread doesn't need to be then then go ahead and delete it, but I just feel I should share with everyone what happened today.

To get you all up to speed, I am a senior in high school and I just moved to a new city where I'll be finishing at. Since this school does not count Marching Band for PE credits, I am being forced to take three pe classes so that I can graduate. Ever since I started my pe class I have been experiancing some problems with a particular football player that it is in the class as well, he has been "picking" on me frequently. Well today after the class, I was redressing in the locker room when the aforementioned football player grabed my head and placed it approx. three inches from his groin area.

Now, because he's been messing with me so much, I decided that if I don't react to anything he does, he'll leave me alone, bad idea. Because I didn't react and push him off of me and make a scene about it, he proceeds to yell "Yo, this guy's a (deleted) sucker!" in the locker room. Now, because I don't like confontation, I, stupidly, did not go to any teachers or admins, but waited till I got home and informed my parents, who already knew of the ongoing problems with this certain someone.

Well now my parents are attempting to do everything they can to make this stuff stop, but I don't really know what I should do. It's not like this is going to actually fix anything, it'll just make him angry with me and increase the abuse, what should I do?

Website · Postby **Kawaiikneko** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:40 pm

O_O;; that's so... ><

I'm not sure what I'd do or suggest you do since I've never been in a situation like that... I'll give a little prayer for you and your parents now though.

Postby **Azier the Swordsman** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:47 pm

Definately talk to somebody higher up about it. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself either. The idea of 'maybe I'll ignore him and he'll leave me alone' is a myth. It never works, trust me.

Postby **Roy Mustang** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:58 pm

I would talk to someone in the admin dept. Do something like that is a big no no in schools. He is a football player and saying something could get him to stop it and stop with his ways.

Most coaches now a days, will put some pressure on players that pick on people or do any sexual harassment in anyway.

Website · Postby **Kawaiikneko** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:04 pm

yeah I'm guessing he wouldn't want to be kicked off the football team

Postby **RoyalWing** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:08 pm

It's the most important thing that you tell someone!

In elementary school, my friend complained to the teacher (about a situation as yours but definately not as serious) and the boy was punished, he stayed away from my friend after that.

Postby **Solid Ronin** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:09 pm

Xeno wrote:If this thread doesn't need to be then then go ahead and delete it, but I just feel I should share with everyone what happened today.

To get you all up to speed, I am a senior in high school and I just moved to a new city where I'll be finishing at. Since this school does not count Marching Band for PE credits, I am being forced to take three pe classes so that I can graduate. Ever since I started my pe class I have been experiancing some problems with a particular football player that it is in the class as well, he has been "picking" on me frequently. Well today after the class, I was redressing in the locker room when the aforementioned football player grabed my head and placed it approx. three inches from his groin area.

Now, because he's been messing with me so much, I decided that if I don't react to anything he does, he'll leave me alone, bad idea. Because I didn't react and push him off of me and make a scene about it, he proceeds to yell "Yo, this guy's a (deleted) sucker!" in the locker room. Now, because I don't like confontation, I, stupidly, did not go to any teachers or admins, but waited till I got home and informed my parents, who already knew of the ongoing problems with this certain someone.

Well now my parents are attempting to do everything they can to make this stuff stop, but I don't really know what I should do. It's not like this is going to actually fix anything, it'll just make him angry with me and increase the abuse, what should I do?

Teach him a lesson, One he won't forget soon. Make him cry when he sees your face Bokken shuriken anything it takes to make him respect you.

To the people who are going to say something like "Fighting sloves nothing" remember WWI and WWII fighting sloved those problems. Rather is war or a simple school fight pain makes people listen.

Postby **desperado** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:57 pm

first talk to someone higher up. i dont care if you dont like confrontations then dont let him do it. second always fight back because now he will pick at you every chance he gets. and third if he does it again find someway to get out of the situation. and fourth limit your locker room time. hurry in hurry out. or not go in at all if its possible. now people easily offended beware because im going to use an example from a freind of mine that is on the football team

some perverts on the team would hit there privates against other guys in the showers. the guys that werent doing it stopped taking showers when the coach yelled at them somebody told the coach and he yelled at them and allowed the football players that werent doing it to not have to take showers. stuff gets out of hand if you dont take care of it. so definetly go talk to someone in charge because its going to get worse. beleive me i know it will get 100 times nastier and sickening if you dont do something quickly.................

Postby **Solid Ronin** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:12 pm

I'd advise using a spolier tag 'cept that long gap ,but yeah ya gotta do something.

Website · Postby **bakura_fan** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:19 pm

O_O That's really sad.....I will definitly be praying for you....

Postby **Hitokiri** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:35 pm

I will defiently be praying for you. Thankfully I was never picked on. I'd talk to a admin or your teacher or someone you trust. That should solve the problem since schools nowadays are having a stricter policy on harrassment.

If that doesn't work, stand up for yourself. Make him realize you won't be picked on easily and make sure you let him know. Get some backing with your friends, strength in numbers. If all else fails, when he tries to put you near his private part, hit him were it hurts boo-yah!!

Another idea is to be friendly with him. Sounds wierd but he's proably suffering from the inside. Show him compassion. I'm not sure how you would because this guy seems like a jerk. You could always hit him were it hurts, his heart.

Just remember to be a shining light, even to a football meat head that gets kicks by bieng perverted and dumb :lol:

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 5:02 pm

dude... I TOTALLY understand what you're going through... I people tend to "sexual harrass" me at times. Obviously joking around, but... it gets kinda.... nasty

i'll pray for ya bud

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:28 pm

[b]"Tell him he's gay", t

Postby **Uriah** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:28 pm

Personally.. I would be tempted to kick his privates into his stomach...

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:35 pm

i'm not worried about people calling me gay. If people thought I were gay, I wouldn't care... Becasue I know that I'm not. And that they can't effect me. Casue God is by my side

Postby **Yojimbo** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:36 pm

Don't back down to him that will only invite him to get on you more. If it comes to a fight well then ya gotta do what you got to do.

Postby **Sam*ron** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:41 pm

Thats horrible, I will pray for you.

And I do think you should talk to someone in charge. Cause you could make it stop like right away.

Personally.. I would be tempted to kick his privates into his stomach...

I agree, I would do that...

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:42 pm

fight? nono! don't fight! fighting is giving into your anger!

Jesus said that if someone punched you in the cheek, offer the other cheek! Although this case is a bit.... gross. You gotta try to follow God's word!

don't hesitate to tell someone! even if become known throughout the whole school as "the gay kid" or "the tattletail" where eveyrone leaves you. God will always be with you. Never let him down. He is your friend in school! remember that!

Postby **Yojimbo** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:54 pm

Yeah...you obviously haven't been around the same types of places I have. You obviously haven't been gang rushed by five guys with the intent of shoving your face in the concrete over your wallet. The "turn the other cheek" is fine and all but when it comes down to it you have to be practical.

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:56 pm

...oh

i see... well, i know that feeling as well yoji

Postby **Sam*ron** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 7:59 pm

Aww

Poor Jimbo *Gently pats cheek*

Yeah, I agree... some times it's not the best thing to "Turn the other cheek"

Cause sometimes people are just out for you.... So I would tell someone like I said before...

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:01 pm

yeah.... sorry for that misconfusion

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:31 pm

What this guy is doing is illegal and your parents need to step in hard and fast with the admin. If it was my son, then I'd be down there the next day. The word "lawsuit" would be used. I'd be visiting the locker room, and my husband would have a nice talk with the young man and his parents. I'd make sure you did not step into another P.E. class until the problem was fixed. I wouldn't care if they stuck you in a classroom for the P.E. hours, but I'd just remind them of all the situations in the news today and say this "wil not be happening again."

You'd be sure those kids would not touch you if you were my son.

If you haven't already gone to the teachers you really need to. If your parents don't think it's that important then there is a school counselor - they're always kind of wishy-washy people, and go to them and tell them how this kid is sexually harassing you. You really need to go through the adults, I think.

Don't go in there fighting the kid. More than likely, since you're shy (I think that's what you said) he has a whole group of football friends that will help him out, and you don't. Going ninja, as I think someone wrote, is asking for trouble. Unless you are really that well-trained. I mean I used to box quite a bit, but the first thing I'd do at a sign of trouble is run and find help - I mean, I'm not that stupid. So, you need to find some help - bigger help, and that is in the teachers and admin. of the school.

Sorry, if I came off rough. ^__^;;;

Postby **Kinkosami** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:55 pm

I agree with you true_noir_chloe.

Do what she said.

Postby **Zane** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 2:52 am

I'll pray for you bud.

Postby **Fireproof** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 5:40 am

Never been in this kind of situation, but you should tell someone higher up. Other tahn that, try to humiliate him as badly as possible by questioning why he's doing what he's doing. That'll probably shut him up. If all else fails, towels make good whips to attack certain areas with. :evil:

Postby **cbwing0** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 5:46 am

Mr.SmartyPants wrote:Jesus said that if someone punched you in the cheek, offer the other cheek! Although this case is a bit.... gross. You gotta try to follow God's word!

Without a doubt, that is one of the most abused and misinterpreted passages in all of scripture. To avoid a debate, let me just say that "turning the other cheek" does not mean that you should not defend yourself from physical harm.

However, that is a last resort. The first thing that you should do is go to your parents, teachers, principals, etc. until someone does something about it. True_noir_chole's strategy would probably be the best way to accomplish that

.

Postby **Lunis** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:34 am

...This is one reason why I'm glad I'm homeschooled. Okay, enough of that, now for the advice.

True_noir_chloe has a very good strategy. Talk to your coach. I know some coaches don't care (and don't know if yours will or not), but it's worth a try. Talk to the rest of the teachers, too. They should do something about it. If I were you, I wouldn't stop talking to people about it until they do something about it. That guy's behavior is unacceptable.

Adding a bit of humor to this, if he does that again, hit him where it hurts! It should go a little something like this... http://www.dbzdimension.ip3.com/music/mp3/dragonball%20z%20-%20opening.zip XD!

Postby **Mithrandir** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 8:17 am

* hopes spirt_sword doesn't see TNC's post about school councilors being "Wishy Washy." *

Good advice, though, TNC.

Postby **SManBeyond** » Tue Sep 21, 2004 8:42 am

Xeno, if it helps, I was in a similar situation when I was in high school. I was a couple of years younger than most, and there was this one guy who decided he wanted to pick on me. I did what seemed counterintuitive: I went and told my parents, who promptly contacted the coach, who took care of the situation. The kid never ever bothered me again.

I urge you to follow true_noir_chloe's advice. Please don't think that if he tries to humiliate you that that gives you the right to retaliate in kind. Turning the other cheek doesn't mean that you can't defend yourself by reporting what they do or by trying to get away, but it does mean that you shouldn't disobey school policies and by exacting vengeance on the person who's harrassing you. Self-defense should be a last resort.

In all of this, please remember the promises of Matthew 5:10-11 and Philippians 3:10, and remember the example of our Lord Jesus Christ when people did evil against him.

I'm praying for you.

Problems in the locker room, with a side order of sexual harassment

Problems in the locker room, with a side order of sexual harassment

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