Inter-Denominational Love?

[Kunoichi]

well i have a success story and a non-success story but well both are a little different and kinda ironic.

When i dated my ex boyfriend, he was Catholic. However, he personally didn't agree with all thing Catholic and neither did I, altho I supported him (and we even attended mass together a few times which was the only times i had been in my entire life - it actually debunked alot of my own prejudices that I didn't realize I had), he eventually became a non demonational follower and his family embraced him for it. We did not work out.

My husband was not a follower of the Lord (parents were un practicing Catholics), he and I dated and he became a follower recently. And obviously we did work out lol

Follow your heart ash *Smile

oh yea and my family looked down on me dating matt cuz he wasn't a christian (i should say my Christian side of the family did)

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I think what really should be said, is the danger of dating a Texan.


*snicker*

Oooh. Qft. Gotta watch out for those guys.

[termyt]

Personally, I say forget what everyone else here or there has said. There is only one question that is important.

Does God belong (or does He abstain from) a specific Denomination?

This is the only question that matters, as far as the big picture goes. Since you are the Southern Baptist, I'll approach it from that point of view.

(Please note, these questions are an invitation for Ashley to do some soul searching and are not meant to be an invitation for anyone else to supply those answers for her.)

Putting aside the specific beliefs of your BF for a moment, if a Lutheran follows all of the tenets of the Lutheran faith and is the very model of what it means to be a Lutheranian, is this person a Christian?

For the sake of argument, if a Southern Baptist follows all of the tenets of the Southern Baptist faith and is the very model of what it means to be a Southern Baptista, is this person a Christian?

If the answer to both of those is yes, then even by Human Reason, there can be no condemnation for a union of two from those two denominations.

All other questions boil down to your compatibility with your boy friend. (The opinions of your friends and family are still very valid, but the simple complaint that you are not compatible because of your different denominations does not hold water.

Do you both seek God first? Does God hold the greatest stake in your heart with your significant other second? If so, then your priorities are set correctly.

The rest is semantics and what the whole courtship process is for. If the two of you have deep doctrinal differences, then maybe you are not right for each other, but do not let Religion deprive you of God’s will.

Most of the world is lost. How will they ever be found if we can not even accept each other?

[Gabriel 9.0]

Personally, I say forget what everyone else here or there has said. There is only one question that is important.

Does God belong (or does He abstain from) a specific Denomination?

This is the only question that matters, as far as the big picture goes. Since you are the Southern Baptist, I'll approach it from that point of view.

(Please note, these questions are an invitation for Ashley to do some soul searching and are not meant to be an invitation for anyone else to supply those answers for her.)

Putting aside the specific beliefs of your BF for a moment, if a Lutheran follows all of the tenets of the Lutheran faith and is the very model of what it means to be a Lutheranian, is this person a Christian?

For the sake of argument, if a Southern Baptist follows all of the tenets of the Southern Baptist faith and is the very model of what it means to be a Southern Baptista, is this person a Christian?

If the answer to both of those is yes, then even by Human Reason, there can be no condemnation for a union of two from those two denominations.

All other questions boil down to your compatibility with your boy friend. (The opinions of your friends and family are still very valid, but the simple complaint that you are not compatible because of your different denominations does not hold water.

Do you both seek God first? Does God hold the greatest stake in your heart with your significant other second? If so, then your priorities are set correctly.

The rest is semantics and what the whole courtship process is for. If the two of you have deep doctrinal differences, then maybe you are not right for each other, but do not let Religion deprive you of God’s will.

Most of the world is lost. How will they ever be found if we can not even accept each other?

You make a good point, man.

[Ashley]

Wow, this thread grew more quickly than I anticipated!

I should probably clarify, though: I have no quandries about our dating, nor do I even consider the possibility of breaking up, least of all because of this. When we first met, yes, I had a lot of questions about him and his denomination, but once they were cleared up I was totally on board. I spent two weeks on my knees in prayer, and at the end of it God definitely gave me the a-okay for him.

I go to a Baptist school, and for school reasons I'm going to stay a Baptist until I graduate. But after that, I fully plan on becoming a confirmed Lutheran--first, for practical reasons, because he's almost an ordained pastor and it doesn't make sense for him to leave, and two, because deep down, when I attend Lutheran worship, I feel like I'm coming home. Like I've always been a Lutheran at heart, I just didn't know it.

So I'm not all like, "zomg, my friends don't agree let's break it off after two years!!!11" I was just curious if anyone else here has gone through this and if they experienced the same sort of vicious resistance I have.

I'm not at all going to defend my friends. I think they are completely wrong on this and it's so refreshing to see so many of you support us. ^^ I just can't believe people could really believe some of the things they have said to me. O_o

I think what really should be said, is the danger of dating a Texan.

Ha, now there's the truth! Good thing I'm not your typical Texan (...'cause I've dated a stereotypical Texan, and it was horrible)

[Roy Mustang]

I was just curious if anyone else here has gone through this and if they experienced the same sort of vicious resistance I have.

I can say that my mother and father had to deal with about the same thing.

My mother is Catholic and my father is Methodist and they had to deal with a lot of vicious resistance from mostly friends, I know both their families didn't have a problem with it.


Anyway, they have been married for 50 years now.

[color="Red"][font="Book Antiqua"]Col. Roy Mustang[/font][/color]

[Htom Sirveaux]

While I have absolutely nothing of importance to contribute to this thread, I would just like to say that for a moment I had mistaken the title of the thread for Inter-Dimensional Love.

[AsianBlossom]

While I have absolutely nothing of importance to contribute to this thread, I would just like to say that for a moment I had mistaken the title of the thread for Inter-Dimensional Love.

O_O Far out, maaaan, far out...

Sorry, just had to say that. XD Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.

@ Roy Mustang: Wow, 50 years? o_o That's quite amazing.

[Ashley]

While I have absolutely nothing of importance to contribute to this thread, I would just like to say that for a moment I had mistaken the title of the thread for Inter-Dimensional Love.

Well, long distance is kinda like another dimension most of the time...

[Lochaber Axe]

There is only one doctrine and one teacher for Christians as there is but one Savior and one God in three persons. Everything else is merely fluff if not obviously God inspired and should be taken with a grain of salt. The fracturing of the Church was and is not a good thing. I believe that there needs to be a movement to unify the Body of Christ into one whole again.

All the actual bible says is not to marry a nonbeliever because it is easier for them to pull you down, then for you to pull them up... unequal yoke and all.

[Tsukuyomi]

Well, long distance is kinda like another dimension most of the time...

Haha, true that XD

*Finds great relief in your last post* u_u

[Prince Asbel]

All the actual bible says is not to marry a nonbeliever because it is easier for them to pull you down, then for you to pull them up... unequal yoke and all.

I don't want to get sidetracked, but anyway...

This is true. But that unequal yoke thing isn't marriage, it's talking about sin and righteousness. I actually covered this reference and the issue of marrying unbelievers on the gameplan forums when people started talking about Sonia and Locke. http://www.christianmanga.com/smf/index.php?topic=26.msg5656#msg5656

[NekoChan_C]

While I have absolutely nothing of importance to contribute to this thread, I would just like to say that for a moment I had mistaken the title of the thread for Inter-Dimensional Love.

... strangely enough... I did too... >.>

[Shinja]

without knowing what God has laid on your heart it would be foolish to say anything for or especially against your relationship. but i think there is always concern with inter-denominational relationships. biblically you are free in Christ to marry who you will. but personally your doctrine should be based on Gods word, and not on our opinions. i wouldn't let the majority opinion be your standard. but i would encourage you to always seek the Lords will, "for there is a way that seems right to a man but it leads to death" "Proverbs 14:12"

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Particularly between baptists and Lutherans there is nothing doctrinally different between them that affects salvation. They both hold to the idea that Christ is the only way, and that's kind of the core of things. There are lots of major differences, yes, but nothing between them that is particularly salvation affecting.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

True. Except the whole Lutherans - lots of wine, Baptists - no wine thing.
I think all Christians hold to Christ being the only way, the truth and the life. Those that don't aren't Christian - Mormon/LDS, Christadelphians, Jehovah's Witnesses etc.

[Cap'n Nick]

As someone who has been dating a member of another denomination for two years now I will say that it has been a great blessing, not just because my girlfriend is wonderful but because dealing with our differing religious bodies forced me to take stock of exactly what denominations are and what they're for, and why I was with the one I was in the first place. In the end I appreciated my church more and viewed other churches more favorably, especially non-denominationals, toward whom I was quite uncharitable before. I wouldn't recommend dating outside of your church on purpose, but for me it was just the thing to help me stop taking churches for granted.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

True. Except the whole Lutherans - lots of wine, Baptists - no wine thing.
I think all Christians hold to Christ being the only way, the truth and the life. Those that don't aren't Christian - Mormon/LDS, Christadelphians, Jehovah's Witnesses etc.

Wine, however, isn't a stumbling block for everyone. If one can handle it, more power to 'em. If they can't? Then it's a right and good thing they avoid. I have a lot of experience with Lutherans (LCMS specifically) and honestly they didn't feed us a drop of wine. Nothing more fermented than Welch's Grape juice (An invention of one 'o my fellow Methodist brethren) was ever served to my classmates.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Wine, however, isn't a stumbling block for everyone.

That's very true.
I'm Lutheran and I drink in moderation. I have stumbling blocks yes, but alcohol isn't one of them.

I guess I was just putting it out there.
We can argue about the little things until Jesus returns, but the little things don't really matter, do they?
Full immersion adult baptism or baby water on the head baptism - both are blessings from God and symbolise the dying of the flesh and wanting to follow Christ (although as a baby the onus is more on the parents to help their child grow in their faith).

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Wine, however, isn't a stumbling block for everyone.

That's very true.
I'm Lutheran and I drink in moderation. I have stumbling blocks yes, but alcohol isn't one of them.

I guess I was just putting it out there.
We can argue about the little things until Jesus returns, but the little things don't really matter, do they?
Full immersion adult baptism or baby water on the head baptism - both are blessings from God and symbolise the dying of the flesh and wanting to follow Christ (although as a baby the onus is more on the parents to help their child grow in their faith).

Exactly what i was saying. Couldn't agree more!

[Ashley]

True. Except the whole Lutherans - lots of wine, Baptists - no wine thing.

Yeah, not a big issue with me. I'm a Baptist and I have no reservations about responsible drinking.

[Kat Walker]

There's hardy enough theological differences between Baptists and Lutherans that a relationship is out of the question. Some people are really way too wrapped up in labels to understand what it truly means to be Christian. If God has cleared the way for you to be together and you truly see the light of Jesus in him, then there's no reason why he wouldn't be great for you. As for the issue of kids, I was raised in both the Episcopal and Presbyterian churches of my parents and I wasn't any worse for it. As long as they have a solid Christian upbringing, does it really matter?

Now, I can imagine certain circumstances where interdenominational differences ARE a true issue- a Protestant wanting to marry someone from a *very* Catholic family (and vice-versa), being with someone who is pushy about converting you to their particular brand of "better" Christianity, or comes from a church that has questionable beliefs/practices (and I'm not just talking about Mormons and JW's, plenty of non-denominational and evangelical churches can be kinda wacky. Sadly, even certain mainstream denominations seem to be falling apart these days when it comes to standing up for Biblical morality).

And, of course, some people simply want someone who'll attend the same church just because it's what they're comfortable with. Those are of course valid reasons.

But in general, this is something really best left to the individual. God does not approve of Baptists more than Lutherans, or anything like that. And going to the same church will not necessarily make your relationship better - even if you agree 100% on all religious issues that person could still be totally wrong for you.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I really didn't realize this kind of seperation was a big deal o.o

I've been dating a (hopeful) agnostic for over a year, and I really didn't think it was a huge deal. I mean, he's tried religion and it didn't work out, and he doesn't critisize my beliefs. And I don't plan on forcing it on him, but we're both happy so... I really didn't think differing religious beliefs was a big deal.

Especially in your case where your both christians. o.o

[Mi-Ru-Me]

I say go for it.........but strongly suggest going to church together (your church...go Baptist)

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Meh, go to church either. Go to which ever of the two of them works well for the both of you. That's a consideration of content of the message, and content of the Church (people). ^-^

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I say go for it.........but strongly suggest going to church together (your church...go Baptist)

Why? You only say this because you're a Baptist.

Don't be one of those pushy denominational types...

I really didn't realize this kind of seperation was a big deal o.o

I've been dating a (hopeful) agnostic for over a year, and I really didn't think it was a huge deal. I mean, he's tried religion and it didn't work out, and he doesn't critisize my beliefs. And I don't plan on forcing it on him, but we're both happy so... I really didn't think differing religious beliefs was a big deal.

Especially in your case where your both christians. o.o

Now I say this with respect. I believe that as two people grow closer together as a couple, the need of sharing similar worldviews and philosophies increases. I don't find it feasible for a committed Christian to engage in a long-term relationship with someone that does not have equal or near-equal viewpoints on life. If one person submits to the wishes and feelings of others, then that person is only going to have to suppress their self for the sake of the relationship. Trust me on this, that is never a good thing. If that continues to happen, you can bet your trousers that the relationship will go sour. Of course there are little things in life such as "what your favorite food is", but the more important things on life like a relationship with God is much more important.

Here's the thing. Would you be happier with him if he was a Christian? I imagine yes. I can imagine it being also true that he may be happier if you ditch God so he may be the #1 person in your life. If the goal of two people in a relationship is to bring happiness to each other, then you're at conundrum here.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Here's the thing. Would you be happier with him if he was a Christian? I imagine yes. I can imagine it being also true that he may be happier if you ditch God so he may be the #1 person in your life. If the goal of two people in a relationship is to bring happiness to each other, then you're at conundrum here.

--

I know.
I'm still working on that. He used to be a christian, but stuff happened in his life to make him lose his faith. We've talked about it, and hes willing to give it another shot someday, hopefully soon. Its just my town is a terrible place to have faith. The churches are all VERY corrupt, and youth groups party and have sex, and the kids just don't get it. I tried talking to him about it, but i guess my gift doesn't include being able to easily inspire people (i am terrible with words). I'm going to get my dad to talk to him though, my dad is really good with that. But yeah, I get what your getting at, and its something we're both working on, so. At this point in time its really not 100% priority.

Thats off topic.

But yes, if you both have the same goals and what not, I don't think you being together is a problem at all. If you were both radical about your church, then yes, but. I watched Dogma last night, and there was a line in it that went along the lines of "Jesus is upset that there are so many denomationals, because that just means humanity got the message wrong. Its not about seperation, its about the bigger message". Made me think of this situation. =] So, just follow your heart, and it sounds like your pretty clearheaded about this too.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I tend to not agree with the idea of following your heart, for your heart can be incredibly deceptive.

Follow what Christ wants you to do. =)

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I typically feel their the same thing?
Heart= what you feel is right = what jesus tells you what to do.

Thats been my experience at least.
Its either I follow logic (head), hormones (body), or heart (the lord)

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

The heart is deceitful above all else.
If heart's focus is on Christ, then automatically you'll be following your heart's intent but being the sinful humans we are, we often bugger it up.
So trust God, not your heart.