Heh...a crazy vow I made to myself, but so far I've kept it.

[Pepper Kittie]

Wow, a lot of really good things said here. It's refreshing to see so many people that beleive a lot alike, even if some do have different views.

I think you're doing a good thing to put restrictions and goals into your life. I agree with you very much. God does have a plan for you as He does for everyone that follows Him, and in the words of one of my friends, no one is ever made to be alone. He will bring the right person eventually, whether it's in the near future or many days ahead. Personally I've struggled with having to wait for that "Mr. Right" that seems to take so long... but if it came easy and fast, it wouldn't be worth waiting for now would it? As long as you're keeping God as the love of your life and in first place in your heart, as well as working to keep your life pure, I'm sure that it'll be a lot easier to keep your vow. I really think this goal of yours is possible. (Because I've had the same one for a long time ^^) What I love about Christian friends is that we can all be there for each other to encourage each other, be it online or off. I'll pray for you.

By the way, I reccomend the books mentioned as well. I've read both of them (a while ago... but I still remember that I was encouraged by them) and I know they'll help. Whenever I get lonely or feel that I need someone now instead of just waiting, I listen to "Wait for Me" by Rebecca St. James ^.^ Always helps me remember that I'm not alone. I've heard that Rebecca also wrote a book about her song and that quite a few people have found it really encouraging, but I haven't found it yet. I imagine that'd be a good one for you to read too if you're going to go look for the other two books.

[glitch1501]

it reminds me of alot of things my youth pastor has told us, i pretty much agree with it, i think it would be cool to have my first kiss when i marry my wife, but i dont think it will happen, i remember this one thing that they talked about at acquire the fire, it was about broken hearts and it went something like this,
if you keep dating, and you breakup with them, your heart gets beat up and torn, so when you get married, you are really handing your wife/husband a broken heart that has been through alot of relationships
this made sense to me, and im going to try to keep the dating down to a minimal,
i mean, im still young, i have the rest of my life to worry about girls

[Orange Kitten]

if you keep dating, and you breakup with them, your heart gets beat up and torn, so when you get married, you are really handing your wife/husband a broken heart that has been through alot of relationships

I don't agree with that one bit.
Dating a lot builds your character and you discover more about yourself and what you are looking for in the opposite sex. Now, when you date, you must know that there's a good chance you'll breakup. Because you break up doesn't mean it's the end of the world. There's millions of other people out there, life goes on, you meet new people.

Rather than seeing marriage (after dating a lot) as handing your wife a broken heart, how about seeing it as handing her a heart that is filled with love because you have found the perfect woman after a long search and are ready to stand by her side for the rest of your life?

And I find it very hard to believe someone can get married without ever kissing the girl even ONCE before marriage. (unless they live in the middle east and it's a pre-arranged marriage)

[Da Rabid Duckie]

Rather than seeing marriage (after dating a lot) as handing your wife a broken heart, how about seeing it as handing her a heart that is filled with love because you have found the perfect woman after a long search and are ready to stand by her side for the rest of your life?

Apparently you've never been asked "so, do you still like her" after your girlfriend/wife meets one of your ex girlfriends. :p
It's really something that you have to live by first to know the benefits of, I get a lot of flak from my friends for living like this, but after four years I've just got a bunch of friends with a bunch of ex girlfriends and a great deal of horror stories. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here helping them pick up the pieces to their hearts that were torn out and stomped flat. So I don't agree with the idea that dating builds character at all. I'm not trying to be an antagonist here, but I've had enough terrible breakups in my lifetime to know it destroys hearts instead of building them up.

And I find it very hard to believe someone can get married without ever kissing the girl even ONCE before marriage. (unless they live in the middle east and it's a pre-arranged marriage)

Oh it's possible, it's very possible. Joshua Harris kissed his wife for the first time at the altar (I also stated this in my post much earlier in this thread). I've also got two friends that did the same thing, and three years later they've got one of the best marriages I've ever seen. Things could change in ten years, true, but I've got a feeling they won't.

[Mave]

I've got to agree with the Duckie.

Broken relationships causes the heart to mistrust easily and be skeptical of the goodness God intended for His children. Do we actually believe that God intends us to deliberately hurt ourselves?

I've seen friends who get more bitter, hopeless and dissatisfied after each break up. Like Duckie said, my breakup-prone friends get suspicious easily and struggle to trust their current partners. Worst of all, they start comparing. "Why can't you be more like my 5th girlfriend?" Everytime it's always grief and pain. And what really bothers me is that it's all unnecessary. When God allows you to go through trials and temptations (James 1:2-4), His will is that you become mature and complete, not lacking of anything. Do broken relationships achieve this purpose? I don't think so, but that's your own decision to make.

Either ways, I just don't see how my friends are building their character with their dating lifestyle. I sure haven't seen the fruits of the Spirit from all that yet. I'm not doing it. I've got more important missions in my life rather than running around dating various people and experiencing pain and grief. I've given up dating and have no regrets at all. Instead, I've enjoyed great friendships that are worthed more and are more lasting than temporarily romantic flings.

oh yeah, it's possible not to kiss before marriage. My first kiss is going to be on that altar and I marry as a virgin. That's my personal vow and my boyfriend has respected that. Nothing's too difficult for the Holy Spirit that dwells in you. Unless you doubt the Power of the Holy Spirit. You've just got to make that commitment and let the Spirit help you.

[Bobtheduck]

...

(wisdom is knowing when to keep your mouth shut)

[Orange Kitten]

Apparently you've never been asked "so, do you still like her" after your girlfriend/wife meets one of your ex girlfriends. :p

I have been asked that; Her: "Do you still like her?" Me: "Do you have reason to believe I do? If I did, why would I be with you?"
When a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend asks that, you just gotta know the right words to say. The words I use really depends on their tone and how they ask you. If she sounds kinda mad, I may come off harsh and make her feel stupid for asking that. (I can get defensive; you ask a stupid question and get mad for no reason, I'll let you know) If she's serious and concerned, I'll speak softly and assure her what's going on.
Most people don't have good reason to even ask if their bf/gf likes their ex, it's just out of plain jealousy.

Maybe I'm just good at dealing with people. I have no trouble dealing with ex's, nor do I have trouble with jealous girlfriends. And besides, the majority of women I've dated I have been able to remain friends with. I've had my share of horror stories; and they are great for "stories around the campfire" lol

It seems like a lot of people here lack confidence (not from reading this thread but from others) That's all it takes really.

[Inferno]

I say way to go:thumb:

[madphilb]

...

(wisdom is knowing when to keep your mouth shut)

hahahaha... do you know how many times I've started a message and then closed the tab on Firebird and junked the whole thing simply because I really had no business responding? Good show Bob and with that I'll follow suit....

....sorry for side-tracking, just had to respond to that