The Plight of Man

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Sometimes it sucks being a guy. I love working with youth and kids.
I volunteered at a hospital in the playroom and it was great helping the kids out, thought some of the parents raised an eyebrow or more at the prescence of a male in the playroom.

I do youth work at church. No problem there but the amount of police clearance forms and other forms you have to sign is morbid. You can't even pray with someone of the opposite sex (I'm more in touch with my emotions so I relate to girls a bit better) even though I find it easier to pray with them. I know it's for a reason (to prevent lustful thoughts) but isn't it the responsability of the person in charge to take that into account? I want to pray with girls, I want to pray with guys. There needs to be a balance. Males can bring something to the prayer/group etc that females can't. That's why God made us different.

This mad prejiduce towards males has to stop. Men are the enemy. I don't like being labelled, scrutinized, seen as a paedophile just because I'm male. That's just degrading and sick and shows how screwed up the world is. I feel ashamed to be a guy sometimes. Seriously, there is a need for child safety but this is ridiculous. The role of a (real) man in society is being flushed down the toilet and this is all the more sad when kids need the love of both parents - the love of the father and mother.
It's just wrong, so wrong.

Jesus please come soon.


*end of rant*
Please add anything if you wish.

[mitsuki lover]

Sounds more like Australian buearcracy at work then anything else.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Wow. You really don't have those problems in the US?

[Spiritsword]

I am a school psychologist and get to work with boys and girls, of all ages, one-to-one or in groups. There is certainly a great deal of trust involved, more that I really stop to think about sometimes. While there are some areas where I would say it's best for women to talk with girls and men with boys (I'd be more comfortable running an anger management group for fourth grade boys than a teen pregnancy group) in most instances, in prayer it should not make a difference aside from personal comfort.

I actually run into a *lot* of people who are very happy I'm a man who works with younger students. A lot of these children are used to mostly female preschool and elementary school teachers, and love to have a guy around. And some of the children don't have a strong male role model at home and need one in their lives. So there are advantages to being a guy as well.

I don't think I've run into any problems or had to go through anything above and beyond my female contemporaries in terms of working with kids.

Though this year at our annual beginning-of-the-year staff meeting, it was me and about 25 women in the room, and the director made some comment like, "No problem, we're all women here". Sigh...lol

[Neko Niisan]

You should come to Engalnd. A Youth Worker can be imprisoned for hugging an underage charge EVEN IF THEY ARE THE SAME GENDER!!
Are youth worker has this tale were at her last church, one of the children lost a close relative (I can't remember if it was actually a parent or not) but they came to her distrote and crying so hard that the child nearly hyperventillated to the point of medical damage and all she could do was stand there and say she was sorry.
I do not know what kind of sick world we live in that the law prevents someone hired to counsel and guide is prohibited from comforting a distraught 13 year old.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

True. I've heard its worse in the UK. I didn't say the worst of it, but I haven't got arrested... yet. (lol) Guess we just have to keep on showing Jesus love, trusting him always and ignoring the naysayers as best as we can.

[Sammy Boy]

W4J - Do you mean you can't pray with girls when it's in the context / environment of your youth ministry work? I would imagine that you're still allowed to pray with girls during church?

NSW has similar measures for those in youth ministry, I believe it's something on the federal level for us here.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Okay, sorry. There is a time in church to pray together for and with the people next to you (sometimes that's girls) but it's usually guys. No problem there. But during youth, or any other time that's the problem. You can't pray in a room with someone of the opposite sex, even if there is another person there. Understandable to an extent, but I was told off big time for even shutting the door once (to cut off noise distraction from the other room to pray. Big no-no).
It hasn't been a huge problem of late, because we usually pray as a bigger group, but for much of the time it was. And as you can see I get riled up about it.

Did I mention there is a big need for male childcarers? I wanted to be one but then I was told that despite the need, you have a male in childcare (and instantly your labelled a PAEDOPHILE!!) Ugh!

Sucks to them. Next year I'm going to go and do a Junior Primary School (Elementary for USers) Teacher course. I'll probably get a lot of crap about it (not at the college) but it's their problem not mine. I wouldn't want to hurt a kid, especially that way! Makes me sick.

God Bless

[Warrior4Christ]

I'll just add that in Japan it's the opposite. The parents don't seem to mind at all if a group of young children are hanging around a bunch of adult foreigners. They must have almost non-existant paedophilia.

[Sammy Boy]

From what you've told me (which I believe to be true), I can't but help feel that the authorities are overreacting by generalising. I understand the need to protect our children, but the measures seem to be going too far.

[Puguni]

I'll just add that in Japan it's the opposite. The parents don't seem to mind at all if a group of young children are hanging around a bunch of adult foreigners. They must have almost non-existant paedophilia.

You know, I believe the age of consent over there is 13.

In the US, there's not much of a problem in that area, I mean, the man being a teacher or youth guide or whatever. I suppose there are a lot of things that contribute to that, good and bad. It seems the UK and Australia are much harsher in that respect. *shrug*

[Neko Niisan]

You know, I believe the age of consent over there is 13.

indeed

[mitsuki lover]

Hmmm...in some States you can get married with parental consent as young as 14.At least that used to be the case.I don't know what it is now.

[Ratrace]

Someone mentioned generalisations, thats the problem in Britain. There are so many rules that the people theyre ment for slip through the cracks caused by everyone else being scrutinised. this gets the rest of us more rules and causes problems.

[Ingemar]

You should come to Engalnd. A Youth Worker can be imprisoned for hugging an underage charge EVEN IF THEY ARE THE SAME GENDER!!
Are youth worker has this tale were at her last church, one of the children lost a close relative (I can't remember if it was actually a parent or not) but they came to her distrote and crying so hard that the child nearly hyperventillated to the point of medical damage and all she could do was stand there and say she was sorry.
I do not know what kind of sick world we live in that the law prevents someone hired to counsel and guide is prohibited from comforting a distraught 13 year old.

And yet so much filth is on television. Sex and violence are OK, but GOD FORBID someone gets comfort when s/he desperately needs it. [/rant]

[meboeck]

At my church youth group, male leaders aren't allowed to pray with girls, and my old youth pastor once almost got in big trouble for counseling a girl without someone else nearby. And when I say male leaders, I even mean student leaders. So if a 16 year old guy is in a leadership position, he can't pray with a 16 year old girl. I don't get that.

[mitsuki lover]

They probably think something's going on.I mean you get a 16 year old guy and a 16 year old girl together and nowadays....

[Authority3000]

They probably think something's going on.I mean you get a 16 year old guy and a 16 year old girl together and nowadays....

I would hope that the average teens of which go to youth group would be a bit better then that.

[martinloyola]

in the Boy Scouts (of America) the theory is "two-deep leadership" this eliminates any unwarranted accusations because there is always a witness,

this same principle ought to be applied in churches if there is a big concern for this issue, not saying that this might be impractical for some smaller churches or with few ministers, but this is actually more to protect yourself just as well the childeren

[Mangafanatic]

I would hope that the average teens of which go to youth group would be a bit better then that.

Ah, yes, but you have to remember that this issue ultimately boils down not to the people involved but the ability of those around that youth group, no matter how wonderful and moral, to assail the church. Even if Boy A and Girl A are wonderful people who would never do anything inappropriate, that does not stop Antagonistic Person B from saying "Did you see those two "praying together". You know what they're REALLY upto don't you. . .?"

Furthermore, all it takes in one attention seeking person saying "So and So did something inappropriate to me" and no matter how absurd the charge or unfounded the accusation-- that person's ministry will forever be tarnished by the accusation. Also, when you're in a one on one setting, if some Attention Seeker does happen to say something absurd about you-- what can you do? It's just a rousing round of She-said-he-said. THAT is why it is often required that young women and young men, even the most upstanding of them, are asked to work in groups or not to be intimately involved in the first place in ministry.

[Sammy Boy]

I think on some level society finds it easier to believe the bad things about people than the good.

Off-topic, but I think lawmakers should be showing equal concern, if not more, about the problem of pornography that seems rather prevalent these days. A newsagency near where I work puts its TIME magazine right in the centre of the section surrounded by pornographic material. So now I walk further to another newsagency where the magazines are properly categorised.

At least in that place I don't have to bleach my eyes. ><

[mitsuki lover]

We live in a society where most of the news centers around bad things happening.