should be something likeCuriously a young chic, who is an Agent stares intently at the enemy (hose).
I don't think you need a comma in "Mr. Crower, the crow"His boss, Mr. Crower, the Crow, had sent him to deliver food to a human race on the dark side because he was their only hope to survive.
I think Empire is a proper noun.On the way there he was attacked by enemy sparrows of the evil empire.
Fluffy is his name right? If so, don't forget to capitalize it!Agent fluffy charged his razor sharp beak first!
Hard is not necessary, it is implied by "violently."Fluffy pecked the hose violently hard because he thought it was an enemy.
Usually capitalized pronouns (Him, Her, Them, Us, Me) are reserved for deity (i.e. God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit). In this case, "him" would be lowercase.When Fluffy got His chance to attack,
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