wise advice about dealing with others at college....

[HwaRang777]

hey guys long time no see,

been so busy reading stuff and getting ready for college (W00T!! I M TEH L33T3ST N MI FAMLE!!!!) but going to a public, big-10, nationally recognized college (going to Michigan State University) I do realize that I'm going to encounter people that will disagree with me. For all I know I may get a gay roommate. But, I know that I will encounter people that are for gay rights, pro-choice, etc. So... what I'm trying to ask is: How do I interact with people in a way that will have me still in my beliefs without looking like a bigot?

[Kaligraphic]

It depends on what your beliefs are, really.

[Angel37]

Love others as you love yourself.

[Puguni]

Well, I suppose the thing to do is not to force feed your beliefs into your peers' throats. Also, if they did that to you, I'd give them a stern warning; just establish your boundaries.

Be gentle, but not a doormat. Respect other people's ideals, and if they happen to engage in something you don't agree with, politely leave or ask them to stop. Be the better man! !

[Mave]

Wow.....it's nice to have a future fellow Spartan. ^^

I think the best you can do is find a solid group of Christians who will give you the strength, love, encouragement and advice to deal with views/values we don't agree with on campus. I joined an international fellowship in Trinity Church (Jolly Road) and loved the Bible Study. The group consists of international students, ranging from late teens to early thirties (?). They are mostly graduate students but they're cool, funny and yet wise. The bible study can be long (~ 2-3 hours) but the material/topics of discussions are priceless. Without this group, I wouldn't be the Christian I am today and I wouldn't have survived grad school. I'll be more than happy to have you connected with my buddies there, if you're interested.

Please feel free to PM me if you need any advice regarding MSU. Getting a bike isn't really a bad idea, you know.

Oh and if you own a car, watch out for the parking nazis (as we call them). They're notoriously diligent.

[mitsuki lover]

Remember the Golden Rule is the best advice I can think of.

[termyt]

The best advise regardless of your situation is to not only know what you believe, but why you believe it. Why do you believe homosexuality is wrong? If you don't have answer better than "because he Bible says so," then you probably ought to avoid getting into discussions about it.

I would avoid arguments in any case. Listen patiently to the views and opinions of others. Try to understand their point of view. Be able to state your opinion in a clear, reasonable, and concise manner. The fact of the matter is, most people love to spout their own opinions but they rarely can back them up with any evidence or logic and they typically will not even listen to other points of view. Don’t be one of those people.

You will find people that will flat out hate you because of your opinions. Don’t let this bother you. Instead, take every opportunity as a learning experience. Your faith is not yet perfect, so you have plenty to learn as well.

[GhostontheNet]

Good manners will be your best ally. See http://www.gothic-charm-school.com for practical lessons in applied manners.

[Agent Anderson]

Pray to God for wisdom and wit in your responses to the ways of the world.

[Slater]

my advice, don't worry about it. In Highschool, there's a lot of peer pressure and to be in the "in" crowd. In college, nobody really cares if you're different in any way. I have a lot of beliefs that others don't share, yet they don't mind. Remember, everyone is as different from everyone else there as you are.

[QtheQreater]

Listen!! Don't be too hasty to debunk anybody's beliefs, even if you know they are wrong. All that will accomplish is to make that person defensive. Be a friend first, then, as the person becomes more comfortable with discussion, you can talk about what you believe and why.

[Debitt]

I'd just like to second Q's advice - it is most wise. ^_^

[EireWolf]

Remember that "love" is the greatest commandment, the most important thing. Try to see people as Jesus sees them -- through eyes of love. You are a Christian, but remember that you are not perfect -- you have flaws and sins, just like the people you will encounter. If you keep that in mind, you probably won't come across as a bigot in your interactions with people.

One thing that really bothers me is when people think they have a right or a duty to tell others how to live -- without even bothering to get to know the person first. But another thing that bothers me is when people make "friends" for the sole purpose of trying to evangelize them. Either one is pretty condescending and rude.

Just be real. Be who you are, and love people where they are at. Most importantly, stay rooted in Christ. As Mave said, find a strong group of Christians to connect with; they will help keep you grounded in the Word.

[ducheval]

As a christian going to college in michigan who FULLY supports gay rights in every way, about all I can say is that at least given your apparently anti-homosexual 'sentiments', you are going to MSU and not UM/EMU. Far far fewer homosexuals to annoy you by being happy and living as they wish in East lansing than in Ann Arbor =P

[mitsuki lover]

Learn.

[b0redx3]

just be friends with them. let them know the REAL YOU! you don't need to go and stamp your forehead saying you are a christian. SHOW them you are by the way you are, act, the things you say.

Aren't we supposed to act like Christ? If you are filled with the Holy Ghost, others will see and say, "wow, that guy/girl is such a great friend and there's something different about him/her than any other people i've ever met..." They'll begin to investigate themselves.

so in the end. be yourself.

=)

[Mave]

If I may add, I think it'll help to get to know ppl better bypassing some of their values. I mean, instead of merely labelling ppl as "for Christ" vs "against Christ," be like Christ.

Depending on what you think being like Christ is, I would typically try to understand why these ppl have formed their values (what drives them to believe what they believe), helping them whenever they need help and treating them with respect, even if I don't agree with their acts/values.

Of course, if you find yourself in a situation with temptations that you know you'll struggle with, figure out when to back off.