Fallen tears,
Rising fears,
Will you save her?
Or die again,
Before you begin,
Doubting your own will.
She trusted you,
What will you do?
If you fail?
Reaching out,
Hear her shout,
Time is running short.
Heave a sigh,
Don't let her Die,
Don't be left alone.
Call her name,
Hide your pain,
Lend her your strength.
The time is come,
What will be done,
Can you triumph?
Or flee her strife,
With your life,
Happy to've saved yourself.
Fallen Tears,
Rising Fears,
Will you save her?
Fallen Tears
6 posts •
Page 1 of 1
-
Murphy - Posts: 170
- Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:00 am
- Location: Beyond the Mysterious Beyond
It has the timing of a rock song, IMHO. 
I like it a lot. 
Your spelling has improved greatly, too. Your writing is wonderful as always.
I like it a lot. Your spelling has improved greatly, too. Your writing is wonderful as always.[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
-
Spiritsword - Posts: 2102
- Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Geneva, IL
Spiritsword wrote:...It has me, like EireWolf, wondering about the backstory.
The backstory is about a boy who promised to be there for a girl, but got to scared to do anything. The girls friend asked him if he was strong enough to save her and he began to cry. He left the girl and she sank deeper into sin leaving behind her friend and her family.
Save Eliot!
I used to be Lain Iwakura but then the voices told me it was too hard to pronounce, so I changed it to Murphy. *Beam*
"i dun wanna be, i dun wanna be me,
i dun wanna be, me anymore. (chorus)
they were throwing at his home,
two glass houses
twenty stones,
fourteen yellow,
six all blue,
could it be worse?
quite doubtful.
(chorus)
two steps forward,
three steps back,
without warning heart attack,
he fell asleep in the snow,
never woke up,
died alone.
(chorus)
please don't dress in black
when you're at his wake
don't go there to mourn
but to celebrate (x2)
(chorus-till end)" -Type O Negative
-
Murphy - Posts: 170
- Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:00 am
- Location: Beyond the Mysterious Beyond
whee ashlynn-sama! This is so great! but hey, all your stuff is great. 
Its a really sad poem, and it stands out very well as so- you are really good at writing gothic style stuff. One thing that might help it out- I think it'd be good if you seperated it into a few paragraphs maybe every 9 lines.. but the focal point of the poem is very strong. Eez beautiful. n_n
Its a really sad poem, and it stands out very well as so- you are really good at writing gothic style stuff. One thing that might help it out- I think it'd be good if you seperated it into a few paragraphs maybe every 9 lines.. but the focal point of the poem is very strong. Eez beautiful. n_n
Where do you go when you just dont know, and how do we relight the flame when it's cold?
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing, and when will we learn to control?
I need serenity, In a place where I can't hide. I need serenity, Nothing changes days go by.
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing, and when will we learn to control?
I need serenity, In a place where I can't hide. I need serenity, Nothing changes days go by.
-
Dirge - Posts: 75
- Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2003 1:43 pm
- Location: My Computer
6 posts •
Page 1 of 1
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 132 guests