How I Learned to Stop Complaining and Deal with my Imminent Destruction

[Ingemar]

Alternate Title: The story in which the Main Character dies in every single chapter.





It was a lousy day to take the bus. The snow came down in full fury with no termination in sight. Jasper felt the urge to say "Thank you Global Warming". Or was it Global Cooling? The scientists have a hard time deciding what's wrong with the planet these days, but that did not affect the discomfort of Jasper's numbed posterior.

He was hoping to get a job at the new big hotel downtown as a doorman. He made such a big fuss about it to his wife and friends only to become crestfallen when his car would not start on the day of the big job interview. Fortunately, Jasper had a policy of going anywhere important three hours ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, he had counted that his contingency plan would never come into effect.

Before he took the one-mile trek to the bus stop, Jasper punched the paperboy in the neck.

"That stupid bus better come," said Jasper. "I didn't wake up at 3 am just to be screwed over by life and fate, AGAIN."

Before he could finish his last syllable, the bus arrived. He could barely see it drive in. He payed the fare and went to the back seat even though he was the only passenger.

Something strange finally occurred to him. Why is there any public transportation in such horrid weather? He decided not to let that bother him and waited until his stop--the big new hotel.

He stepped off of the bus. Before he could enter the door, he slipped on a sheet of ice and fell, splitting his head open.

[Anna Mae]

Alternate Title: The story in which the Main Character dies in every single chapter.

You already have me hooked.

It was a lousy day to take the bus. The snow came down in full fury with no termination in sight. Jasper felt the urge to say "Thank you Global Warming". Or was it Global Cooling? The scientists have a hard time deciding what's wrong with the planet these days, but that did not affect the discomfort of Jasper's numbed posterior.

He was hoping to get a job at the new big hotel downtown as a doorman. He made such a big fuss about it to his wife and friends only to become crestfallen when his car would not start on the day of the big job interview. Fortunately, Jasper had a policy of going anywhere important three hours ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, he had counted that his contingency plan would never come into effect.

Before he took the one-mile trek to the bus stop, Jasper punched the paperboy in the neck.

"That stupid bus better come," said Jasper. "I didn't wake up at 3 am just to be screwed over by life and fate, AGAIN."

Before he could finish his last syllable, the bus arrived. He could barely see it drive in. He payed the fare and went to the back seat even though he was the only passenger.

Something strange finally occurred to him. Why is there any public transportation in such horrid weather? He decided not to let that bother him and waited until his stop--the big new hotel.

He stepped off of the bus. Before he could enter the door, he slipped on a sheet of ice and fell, splitting his head open.

I find the stlyle in which you write to be interesting (in a good way). Will you be posting more of the story?

[glitch1501]

i never usually read the writing forum...but this story intrigues me...post more

[Ingemar]

"Got a headache?"

Jasper looked up from his booth and saw the smiling face of his co-worker, Lawrence. He rubbed his forehead and said, "Yeah, I don't think I've been sleeping too well for a while. Between graveyard shift and my wife's problems, I haven't had a good time to catch the Z's."

Lawrence put on a straight face. "Problems?"

"Yeah." Jasper paused. Then he said, "Bea... has a gambling problem. I had suspicions when she kept asking me for money every single day and got overly emotional when some football team lost, but the last few months' credit card bills confirm it. She's been betting on online casinos among other things."

"Sounds like you should confront her, and soon. Otherwise, you could get into serious financial trouble."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I'm already in financial trouble. Why do you think I'd get such a boring job like this, anyway?"

"I thought it was because you enjoyed my company. Ha ha!" roared Lawrence. Jasper was not amused.

He had spent most of the best years of his life in college. Though not the best student in the world, he did manage to get his B.A. and M.A. in English. Unfortunately, he realized all too late that there were not many opportunities for people like him. I could always teach, he thought. He thought. He didn't expect to be turned down for many full-time teaching opportunities and finally only get a substitute position. One that would not get him much money since oddly enough, most of the teachers in his county were all of great health and dedicated to their careers.

Although he liked Lawrence's company (most of the time), he did not need him to remind him of how much his life sucked (in Jasper's own words). He spent the rest of the night scowling at his front desk.

Before his shift ended, two men walked up to his desk.

"How can I help you?" said Jasper.

The bigger one of the two grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the hall. Jasper got back up and tried to run for the security alarm. Before he could do so, the smaller one punched him in the gut and grabbed him by the hair, slamming him to the floor.

"WHERE'S THE MONEY?" said the bigger one.

Jasper cursed. "What are you talking about?"

"DON'T TOY WITH ME!" said the smaller one. He grabbed a trash can and slammed it against Jasper's back. Jasper cursed at them. The bigger one kicked him in the stomach, causing him to flip, and end up on his back.

"We don't need this crap," said the smaller one. He pulled out a large caliber pistol and shot Jasper in the belly.

[Linksquest]

Dies in every chapter, eh? (EXCEL SAGA, anyone? ) There is a mix of humor and seriousness, I think. I would like to see where you go with this.

[Ingemar]

Never seen Excel.

Actually, this is just a cop-out so in case I abandon the project, I can say, "But Jasper died in my last entry--the story is over!" I didn't expect to get any responses, but now that I am, I hope to develop the story.

[Anna Mae]

So... the reason you decided to write a story in which the main character dies every chapter is so that you can quit writing it at any time?

[Ingemar]

Jasper and Lawrence spent their early morning break at the local diner. Jasper held his stomach as if in pain.

"God, the food here is terrible," said Jasper.
"Ahh, at least you're not paying for it," said Lawrence. He smiled, a thin veil to hide his disgust for the food.

Lawrence knew of many other diners in town that he personally liked. However, this particular diner, "Otto's" had caught his attention for quite some time. The exterior looked somewhat run-down. Decay was clearly visible between the siding. Wouldn't in be nice to just take a peek at this grody place, thought Lawrence, though Jasper often reminded him of their customary break areas. Such minor details never stopped Lawrence from satisfying his curiosity. Jasper did not approve of such behavior and frequently warned him that such recklessness "would cost him big one day."

Jasper pushed aside his plate of half-eaten, burnt pancakes and runny eggs. "I can't take this crap anymore. Let's just go back to work," he said.

Lawrence agreed.

However, something caught Jasper's eye. On the booth across from theirs, Jasper found two unsavory looking men. One looked frail and spindly while the other was bald and fat. Jasper stared for a minute, with his jaw slack.

"Hey Jas, that's rude," said Lawrence.

"Hold it. I know these guys," said Jasper.

Jasper walked up to the booth and introduced himself. He then spit into the soup bowl of the bigger one, and took the smaller one's plate and smashed it on the ground.

"What's your prob--"
Jasper interrupted the bigger one. He took the butterknife and held it against this throat. "If you get near my family, touch them, or even so much as breathe in their direction, I'll murder you." He stormed out of the restaurant.

Lawrence quickly followed. "What the hell is wrong with you, Jasper?"
"I know those two. They are no good. Let's just go back to work."

Soon after, the two unsavory looking men followed them outside, coming to Japser from the behind. Jasper caught them in his peripheral vision. He stood in front of a trash can with lid. As the big one came close, Jasper took the trash can lid and swung it against the big man, stunning him. He then gave an uppercut to the smaller man, followed by several punches to the gut. The man crumbled to the ground and brought his hand near his waist. When Jasper saw that, he kicked the man in the head several times, causing him to bleed profusely. He once again picked up the trash can lid and hit the bigger man several more times.

Everyone in the diner and Lawrence looked in shock. Several patrons were dialing their cellphones in a mad panic. Lawrence slowly approached Jasper, fearing that he would be the next victim.

"Look, I'm fine. I'm fine. Let's go to work and forget this all happened."
"No, you're not fine. You're sick," said Lawrence. "We need to get you to a doctor, and I don't mean some check-up guy, I mean someone who could look into that head of your--"
"I'M FINE!" yelled Jasper.

Jasper walked away looking towards the ground. He heard sirens in the distance. He turned his head one way to see where they were coming from. But in the other direction, a careless ambulance driver struck Jasper in the back as he rushed to the scene of the conflagration. Emergency vehicles of all sorts flooded the small diner from all locations.

[Anna Mae]

Wouldn't in be nice to just take a peek at this grody place, thought Lawrence. . .
Instead of in, do you mean it? Also, when someone is thinking you should put it in italics.

Soon after, the two unsavory looking men followed them outside, coming to Japser from the behind.
Put a dash between unsavory and looking.