An article about Influential power.

[TheDrunkenNinja]

First off, I felt this wasn't appropiate for the writing forum.

Everybody loves power. It’s hard to deny. And those who have power are always afraid to lose it. Influential power is the strongest of them all, stronger than military, numbers, or weapons. And since most people have this power, they chose to flaunt it. The best example is parents. I know. I’ve experienced it. Only recently I figured it out. Parents flaunt their power more than an immortal warrior flaunts his skill. They flaunt it through threats and so-called discipline. They think that they are teaching you not to do things by discipline. It’s wrong. They teach you to fear them. Those few parents who truly care about them want them to respect their power, but not to fear it. However I myself can name none who do so.

Parental power is also why we lie. Lying is like a temporary veil to protect you from the discipline. We lie because we’re afraid what they’ll do if they found out the truth. But the more they discipline and threaten us; it’s like being a hostage to terrorists. That feeling is hard to fix, and it’s hard to stare down someone who supposedly raised you and cared for you “rightâ€

[Tommy]

...........okay?

How is that feedback?

[TheDrunkenNinja]

I mean, if you have comments, it be appreciated. Feedback. hint hint?

[Mangafanatic]

Basically, I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on most of your points. I know a thousand parents who discipline their children out of a desire to teach them to do right, not to teach their children to fear them. The Bible supports discipline (He who spares the rod hates his son), and I cannot even begin to tell you all the beautiful parents I've seen who use discipline properly. My mother, on more than one occasion, cried when she spanked me, because the last thing she wanted was for me to be in pain-- but she knew that, in the end, the most important thing was that I learn to be a Godly and obedient person.

Furthermore, I don't see how we can say that parents are the reason we lie. We lie because we want to avoid the consequence of our actions. Lying is just another way that human being show their selfishness.

[Mithrandir]

Ah, yes. The inevitable, "My parents were wrong; they abused their power! I know better and could TOTALLY raise my kids right" thread.

No I'm not mocking you. I'm trying to put this in perspective based on my life experience. My parents made some mistakes, too, but if I had to deal with a kid like me, I would have made WAY worse mistakes. They were VERY over protective and I was exposed to real live the hard way: I met it on the streets. The abuses of power we usually experience are - and correct me if I'm wrong - mostly due to people being human. My parents had power over me when I was a kid (in fact, until you are 18, they can legally spank you, too). It was tough for me to admit this when I first discovered it, but I eventually figured it out: My parents are human. My father had a very had time trying to raise me when I was in High School. He had just lost his wife when I started HS. (Yeah, that means I just lost my mother - I was a real terror for a while there). I noticed he went "over the line" a few times, and that's when I noticed he was human. Eventually, I had friends who started having kids ( including my brother and a few of my best friends ), and I watched them try to act as Jesus would. That's when I discovered something.

My pastor gave a great sermon about how Christians are to speak two ways: In Love and in Truth. Sometimes one is required more than another, but there is always a balance to be struck. It's as true among family as it is among friends. I can elaborate if you need me to, but I'd like to stop here for now.

[Ingemar]

They teach you to fear them. Those few parents who truly care about them want them to respect their power, but not to fear it. However I myself can name none who do so.

Machiavelli said it is better to be feared than loved. However it is possible to be feared without being hated. In a way, I think fear is better than liking when it comes to your parents.

Parental power is also why we lie. Lying is like a temporary veil to protect you from the discipline.

So the kid who pretends he is 21 does so because he is afraid of his parents? [quote]But the more they discipline and threaten us]The first clause is confusing; perhaps because it is a dependent clause that is backed up with an improper independent clause. I'm assuming you mean "But the more they discipline and threaten us, the more they treat us like terrorists to hostages." If that is what you mean, I still have to disagree. There certainly are parents that are selfish and wish to live vicariously on the success of their children, but most parents simply want their children to be good. That is, if the child grows up to be the next Michael Jordan, that's just a bonus--what really matters is that the child is good in the most basic things and is safe.
[quote]That feeling is hard to fix, and it’s hard to stare down someone who supposedly raised you and cared for you “rightâ€

[Nate]

However it is possible to be feared without being hated.

Right. Remember, fear is a GOOD thing, especially where God is concerned. Let's not forget what the Bible says about Abraham:

Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning."

His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.

I'm not gonna go through and post all the verses like that, but just from those three, you can see my point. In fact, Luke states that fear of God is a requirement for His mercy. For before we can accept God's gift of grace, we must fearfully realize we are sinners worthy of judgement.

So the kid who pretends he is 21 does so because he is afraid of his parents?

I'm with Ingemar on this one. A 15 year old lying about his age to buy beer isn't doing so because of a fear of discipline, he's doing it so he can do something he isn't legally allowed to.

Yeah, I'm with most other people on this thread, I disagree with almost all the things you're trying to say.

[Yumie]

I agree with most of the replies that have been made so far. Another thing to consider-- from what you've said, it sounds like you might have had some pretty bad experiences with your parents, and whether you realize it or not, that will shade your opinion of parents in general. Just realize that all parents make mistakes, some more than others, but just because your parents may have been worse than some doesn't mean that that is how ALL parents are. I myself really love and respect my parents, and yes, they discipline me. I never feel like they are just flaunting their power. They are just trying to train my in the way that I should go. As Mangafanatic quoted, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son." Yes, perhaps some parents discipline for the wrong reasons, though I myself have not experienced this. But to not discipline at all would be to ignore the needs of the child, and to not show them love. I know so many children whose parents refuse to punish them because they feel it is cruel, and those children have run rampant and are essentially menaces to society. Discipline is essential. Because parents are human, they will make mistakes, and we have to forgive them for that, but to not discipline would be a huge mistake.

[Puritan]

Earlier posters seem to ahve covered the importance of parental power, but I think your concern extends deeper than the necessity of parents having power over their children. I think the key issue you are worried about, ninja, stems from your view of power. You see power as control and you resent that control because you resent the way your parents used their power over you. But power is far more than simple control over a person, and parental power is far more than simply being able to discipline your child. At its heart, power is responsibility, and those entrusted with the use of power are ultimately held responsible for that power, whether they use it for good or ill. Your parents were responsible for your upbringing, both to the government, but more importantly to God, and how they raised you has effected them greatly in many ways. They have seen you grow, and their interaction with you has changed them forever. Their decisions on how to raise you have changed you, just as your interactions with them changed them. That is the power and responsibility parents have, they are charged with raising their children to love and honor God and they are given power and responsibility according to that calling. The price of the power is a responsibility more terrible than the misuse of that power, they alone are responsible to God for how they raise their children, and He holds them to his unyeilding standard of perfect parenthood. This is why this power is not evil or wrong. In the hands of a wise and loving parent this power is vitally important to raising a child, and in the hands of unwise or unloving parents this power can be misused, but these parents are held accountable for what they do, their actions are not without consequence.

Please, understand that parents have a great responsibility to their children and to God. You may not see the consequences, but I know that they are there because I have seen my parents. They loved me and I can only pray I can raise any children I have someday as well as my parents raised me, but they still regret the mistakes they made in parenting and live with that regret to this day. All Christian parents are greatful for the forgiving grace of God, because they make parenting mistakes just like we make mistakes in our everyday life, and apart from the forgiveness of God none of us would have any hope. I pray that you can come to understand that power is worse than powerlessness, for we are held accountable by God for all power we have been blessed with. And I also pray that you can forgive your parents for any mistakes they made in parenting you, just as God forgives our constant sins against Him.