If Your OS Was An Airline....

[Steeltemplar]

I searched and didn't find this, so forgive me if this has been posted before. It's pretty funny.



If Operating Systems Flew Your Airline



MS-DOS Airline
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.

MS-DOS with QEMM Airline
The same but with more legroom to push.

Macintosh Airline
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and that everything will be done for you, so just shut up.

OS/2 Airline
To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.

Windows Airline
The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and a completely uneventful takeoff...then, once in the air the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Airline
Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of a plane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they are flying.

Unix Airline
Everyone brings a piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they are building.

Newton Airline
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 46 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.

[uc pseudonym]

I'm sure I haven't seen it here before, so it's probably fine. It was pretty good, though I expected more things for each airline/OS. If other members want to add to it, feel free.

[Steeltemplar]

I'm sure I haven't seen it here before, so it's probably fine. It was pretty good, though I expected more things for each airline/OS. If other members want to add to it, feel free.

Yeah, I would agree with that. Add in if you feel like. And it's a little dated as well, so if you want to have your "Windows XP" airline or whatnot, go ahead.

[Icarus]

Gentoo Linux Airways: For the price of a ticket, you get all the steel* needed for the plane of your dreams, and a extensive instruction manual. It's best to book well in advance to make sure you get there on time.

*some assembly required, no guarantees on parts or labor. Some tools may be needed**

**see above.

[ChristianKitsune]

ROFL! I love the windows one...that's so true!!!

[glitch1501]

heh nice

[everdred12a]

Windows NT Airline
Everyone marches out onto the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of a plane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they are flying.

That is *so* cool. I think I might add that to my sig....

[Steeltemplar]

That is *so* cool. I think I might add that to my sig....

Awesome.

Yeah, that's one of the funniest ones. That one along with the Windows one and Unix.

[SnowLeopard]

I think i just snorted my drink up my nose! LOOOOOOL.


Once in the air, the plane blows up for no reason.That so describes my computer.

[TurkishMonky]

i tried to do my best. what do you think?

XP Airline:
the terminal is decorated like a preschool childcare place. after ringing a bright green bell, the helpful flight attendents personally show you to your seat. the take off is smooth, the seats large and bulbous, but once you are in the air, suddenly a random seat explodes. quickly, a flight attendent tells you that that seat has been perfectly contained, hands you a cell phone, and asks if you want to inform the airline of this problem. At that moment, another random seat explodes, and the flight assistant repeats her question in a helpful tone.

[Rexman64]

The Macintosh one is priceless.

i tried to do my best. what do you think?

XP Airline:
the terminal is decorated like a preschool childcare place. after ringing a bright green bell, the helpful flight attendents personally show you to your seat. the take off is smooth, the seats large and bulbous, but one you are in the air, suddenly a random seat explodes. quickly, a flight attendent hands you a cell phone, and asks if you want to inform the airline of this problem. At that moment, another random seat explodes, and the flight assistant repeats her question in a helpful tone.

Oh so true.

[Arnobius]

Linux Airlines

Supposed to be just as good as Windows Airline, but you have to do a lot more work to get a similar, though slightly lesser result. Some things available on Windows airlines are not available on Linux airlines and you have to make your own or do without.

EDIT: All the passengers argue whether it's pronounced LIE-nuks, LEE-nuks or LIH-nuks

[Steeltemplar]

i tried to do my best. what do you think?

XP Airline:
the terminal is decorated like a preschool childcare place. after ringing a bright green bell, the helpful flight attendents personally show you to your seat. the take off is smooth, the seats large and bulbous, but once you are in the air, suddenly a random seat explodes. quickly, a flight attendent tells you that that seat has been perfectly contained, hands you a cell phone, and asks if you want to inform the airline of this problem. At that moment, another random seat explodes, and the flight assistant repeats her question in a helpful tone.

That's awesome.

AH, I like yours too.

[uc pseudonym]

DOS Airline:

C:\\
C:\\Airline
C:\\Airline\get feathers
C:\\Airline\get glue
C:\\Airline\do wingconstruction.exe
C:\\Airline\fly
Bad Command or Syntax - start flapping, kiddo

[Icarus]

Those are good.

Oh, and AH, some idiot once wrote to Linux Format and asked that question. Unfortunately, he did not mark accents, instead asking "Is it said Linux or Linux."

I vote for Linux, myself.

[shooraijin]

Infidel. It is, clearly, Linux.

[TurkishMonky]

CP/M airline:
so old, it's just a glider...

[Steeltemplar]

Infidel. It is, clearly, Linux.

Pssht. I think that Linus would say it was Linux.

[meboeck]

DOS airlines

You have to personally give the pilot step-by-step instructions on how to fly the plane.

[Arnobius]

:grin: Those are good.

Oh, and AH, some idiot once wrote to Linux Format and asked that question. Unfortunately, he did not mark accents, instead asking "Is it said Linux or Linux."

I vote for Linux, myself.

Well, I put that in because there is an argument over the pronunciation of LIN-ucks or lie-nuks with the "in" way supposedly being LIN-nuks, but Torvalds pronounces it LEE-nuks

[Mithrandir]

It appears we left out, "Clippy Airlines."

*everyone get's on board and waits for the plane to take off*
Pilot (over intercom): Hi there! It looks like you are trying to go somewhere on this plane! Where do you want to go today?
*the passengers all sit in stunned silence for a moment*
Passenger 1: Anyone care if I cap the pilot?
Air Marshall: I'm in. When's this going down?

[Zilch]

Windows ME

You fly around the airport in this piece of junk while the real airplane's being built.

[Mithrandir]

Windows ME

You fly around the airport in this piece of junk while the real airplane's being built.

[shooraijin]

That is *so* true it's not even funny.

[Nate]

Here's my attempt. ^^;;

Windows Vista: The airplane is built by over a hundred engineers, each working on one part apiece, without any blueprints or communication with each other. The pilots try desperately to get it to fly to no avail, and give up and order a new airplane to be built from scratch.

[Bobtheduck]

Is Vista out?

I just got a new machine with XP, but my machine is 64 bit... SHould I have simply waited a month???

[Nate]

Vista comes out July 23 of this year to PC vendors so that they can have it ready for Christmas, it'll be released to the general public October or November...so they say.

[Godly Paladin]

If my OS was an airline...

...I would be jumping out.

[chimera189]

If my OS was an airplane it doesn't respond

[Slater]

I'd like to see an airplane descript for this OS: http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1214/