Are you a decent guy?

[CreatureArt]

Yeh I don't think KBMaster or any of the girls who posted their negative comments on guys intentionally "bashed guys". They were speaking their minds from what may be personal experiences.

I agree with that. ^^

Oh, well, if that's the case, I would just say take any relationship with a guy very slowly so that you can be confident in the type of person he is before you actually tie the knot. If you spend enough time with the person, their true colors usually show through. Just don't rush it, or you might be in for some not-so-great suprises once you're married and he's not trying to constantly impress you anymore.

Amen. Yes, I definitely plan to take it slowly. In a quote from.... James Dobson, I think it was.... "Go towards marriage with both eyes wide open, then once you've tied the knot keep them half-shut..." I think it was. Thanks for the advice, Yumi.

[EireWolf]

Yes... what Yumie said... It's a good idea to spend a lot of time with a guy before you marry him. A few months is not enough. You both need time to get to know who the other person is in many different settings and circumstances.

I like that quote, CreatureArt.

[CreatureArt]

I like that quote, CreatureArt.

Thanks... but in that case I should probably go find the real one lest someone quote my probably inaccurate paraphrased version.

Bwhahahahahaaah I love google. I LOVE google.

Someone has said: The key to healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed and half-closed thereafter

So HE was quoting someone as well. At least now the world (aka CAA) has the ability to know the truth.

[TheMelodyMaker]

I hope I'm a decent guy; people have told me that I am, anyway... *runs away and hides*

[mitsuki lover]

I would have to say what with women's lib and everything most of us guys are rather confused about wheter or not we're still supposed to open doors,etc. for
women.

[EireWolf]

I suppose that depends on whether or not the woman is a lady. I think it's ridiculous when women get offended by a guy being polite.

[CookinLikeSanji]

(--Sorry, accidentally clicked quick reply with a blank post--)

[Puritan]

I actually have two friends (one male, one female) who fight over who gets to hold the door for who because the guy is insistant that a girl can't hold the door for him, and that angers the girl who then won't let the guy hold the door. I hold the door for everyone regardless of gender, so I usually end up being the person to break up their fights. Pretty funny, but when two people argue for ten minutes about who gets to hold the door, you gotta wonder about their sanity.

[CookinLikeSanji]

Well, in answer to your questions..

- loves jesus more than ANYTHING
My answer is the same as a lot. I know I should, I know I want to, but if I say it, I feel really guilty. Yes I love Christ, but I know that my priorities aren't completely straight. But as Ducky said earlier, I do believe and I'm under His grace, I know I will be saved.

- does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
I don't view any woman as an object, I know I used to, but I'm extremely past that now. I view women as people, just like you and me, if a female is attractive, then good for her, but I don't judge her any differently than anyone else.

- does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
I've never smoked, drank, or anything of the sort. I've never even touched a drug. Disgusting stuff.

- doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
I'm guilty of this. No, I don't do it often, not nearly as much as I used to, but I still do it occasionally. I try to use lesser words like darn, heck, crap, that sort of thing, but I'll let one slip every now and then.

[Kaligraphic]

I actually have two friends (one male, one female) who fight over who gets to hold the door for who because the guy is insistant that a girl can't hold the door for him, and that angers the girl who then won't let the guy hold the door. I hold the door for everyone regardless of gender, so I usually end up being the person to break up their fights. Pretty funny, but when two people argue for ten minutes about who gets to hold the door, you gotta wonder about their sanity.

That is hilarious. I can just imagine that in an action movie - the two protagonists go through countless obstacles, most of which shoot at them, only to be stopped by an ordinary, unlocked door.

[ssj2gohan61]

im a decent guy yes but a guy that matches your description well id like to think i am but im not really that great i have been slipping in faith and everything else as of lately i dont know what im doing any more its making me crazy. after going through air force bootcamp and being in the air force for a while i started to cuss a lot but i dont view women as objects nor will i approach them based on looks i usually wont approach anyone unless they look at me like they want me to talk to them

[Wise Dragon]

loves jesus more than ANYTHING, does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot", does not need destructive habits to make himself whole, doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.

I was thinking about starting a thread simmilar to this one; but I didn't because I thought it would be to controversial.

I am considered by other people to be a strong Christan, however I have to many downfalls to remember. Yes I do like pretty girls; but I rarely ever consider them dating material because they tend to be cruel and snoody with little in common with my personallity.

Unless you consider Martal Arts to be a destructive habbit then I have none. People who know me know I do not cuss and if I ever start then everyone better run because Im probably going to go on a killing spree.

As to whether or not you can trust what I say, Thats a Rhetorical question that an answer cannot possibly be given.

Now I have a question. Im a nice guy who would give you the shirt off my back. I would help anyone and everyone that needed it, and I have a strong sense of loyalty to those I care about. My experience with girls is that they take what they want from me and then go to some half bit jerk who eventually leads them to a path of destruction that would have been avoided if they had stayed with me instead. So. Are there any girls out there who are worth my time (or guys like me).

(I don't presume to set myself on a pedistal and I don't mean for this to sound arrogant; but I am very frustrated with the way things turn out.) (And no Im trying to pick up a date here.)

[Kaligraphic]

(And no Im trying to pick up a date here.)

I suspect you've omitted a word here, though it's not as funny as Ingemar claiming to be KoDai.

[EireWolf]

Hmmm... a Freudian slip?

[mitsuki lover]

I tend more toward the Pauline than the Johannine aspect of Christianity.Meaning I'm more of a intellectual than emotional Christian.I can't stand emotional displays,especially in worship.Pentecostal and Charismatic worship completely turns me off.

[Alice]

On that topic, I think it is better if you don't continue finding faults in the guys around you and just try to find the guys who are Christian, true to themselves, and know their faults and work to fix them. Resenting the crude punks will just callous your heart.

I think this is a really good thought.

Also, I don't think KBMaster meant just whether guys approach girls because they find them attractive, but rather the *motive* for approaching the girls.

I think it's hard to judge genders fairly by the way men or women appear to be, either in popular culture, or even just people who are very visible in real life. A lot of us, here on CAA, who honestly want to find godly spouses someday, have admitted that we don't "put ourselves out there" much.

I admit that I'm reticent around guys, and definitely don't try to strike up friendships or act interested, because I simply don't know whether the guy is a committed Christian. (Also, sometimes when I've been friendly to guys they've taken it the wrong way, and it made things messy for me. It's easier to be distant and not even smile most of the time.)

Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say is that the Christian people you actually want to know, aren't always the ones you get to meet, so be patient and try to hang in there.

[Wise Dragon]

I suspect you've omitted a word here, though it's not as funny as Ingemar claiming to be KoDai.

Eh heh... oops:sweat: guess I did.

[kaji]

Not to sound rude, but what is the object of this topic? Im sure that with the few given varriables here you can safely assume that there are people who meet these standards.

Perhaps the greater question lies within the first question its self. What is it that has lead you to suspect there might be a shortage of such people in the world?

While the people around us can have a profound impact on our perception of others, our focus is much better spent on God and his standard. Trust me, people (man or woman) will always disapoint you in one way or another. Rely on God and not the 'decency' of man.

[Wise Dragon]

Trust me, people (man or woman) will always disapoint you in one way or another. Rely on God and not the 'decency' of man.

Well put. I think I could learn something from that.

[Joshua Christopher]

Nope. I'm a horrible guy. Don't you know that all men are?

Don't you know that you're supposed to make generalized opinions on an entire group of people based on one narrow-minded view?

Of course you are.

So, yes, all men are pigs.

[PrincessZelda]

I'm a decent gu-

...no, wait...


>_>

<_<

[cmm]

loves jesus more than ANYTHING Amen sister jesus is first in my life..
does not view women as objects. hmm guys who treat women as objects are jerks..girls need to be treated with respect..and honor..
does not approach a girl because she's "hot" hmm i dont really approach girls lol but if i do its to ask them a question or to ask them how ru they or just regular old stuff..
does not need destructive habits to make himself whole, doesn't cuss,
gentleman-like. yea i do not need any of that stuff to make me whole the only thing that makes me whole is my Savior Jesus.. and yes lol im a gentleman..

[Sweet Mercury]

[quote="KBMaster"]I've been raised to expect verrrrrry little from men and have been proved time and time again. I'm wondering if there really are any decent guys out there. With over 2000 members in CAA, there has to be SOME guys. Here are some things I consider decent: loves jesus more than ANYTHING, does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot", does not need destructive habits to make himself whole, doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
*note* I'm not looking for a date or anything, just seeing if all men are pigs or not. ]

A couple things I would like to say. One, you say that you "have been raised" to have certain expectations from men. However, it has been pointed out that you are still very young, and, in a sense, still being raised. In reality, if "being raised" means "undergoing a learning/changing process," then we are really all being raised, all the time. You have a lot of life left to live, so don't worry about it. You will grow, and the people around you will grow as well, and you will end up meeting plenty of men who fit your criteria of decency.

More directly on topic: I fit a few, but not all, of those standards .

[Icarus]

Ah, sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into a guy-bashing thread.

I'll accept that, but you must wonder what other direction it could have gone when you began it with statements like these:

I've been raised to expect verrrrrry little from men and have been proved time and time again. [...]
*note* I'm not looking for a date or anything, just seeing if all men are pigs or not.

GAH! I should've gotten on sooner so I could have specfied that I am talking about MEN, not 15 year old boys.[...]
And... uhm... the ones who taught me men were pigs my mother and sisters. With good reason! [...] I've also learned from experience. MEN taught me!

To be frank, I feel your mother has done you a disservice. As thers have said, people tend to meet your expectation of them. If you don't expect men to respect you, and treat you with courtesy, what reason do they have to do so? They were raised to be gentlemen? As has been often lamented, "Chivalry is dead." Whether it's corpse remains is up to the ladies, and the attitude behind the above thoughts helps further the rot.

Even worse, that point of view drives away the guys you're looking for! If you said this to my face, the best you could hope for is that I would try to defend my gender. Otherwise, if ever we spoke again, I would be curt with you. So if you drive away or offend the good guys, who is left? The ones that don't care that you think they're pigs?

I'm homeschooled and there's only two guys in my youth group. Don't come in contact with 'em much.

Remedy that. I'm not saying date them, but get to know them. Eventually, let them know that you've been disappointed in men (in such a way that they are not a part of it), and if the guys are worth much, they'll try to prove you wrong. In the meantime, just... expect better.

In closing, I think there are two groups in society. Men and women, ladies and gentlemen. The ladies don't like men, and women rarely meet gentlemen.