Are you a decent guy?

[KBMaster]

I've been raised to expect verrrrrry little from men and have been proved time and time again. I'm wondering if there really are any decent guys out there. With over 2000 members in CAA, there has to be SOME guys. Here are some things I consider decent: loves jesus more than ANYTHING, does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot", does not need destructive habits to make himself whole, doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
*note* I'm not looking for a date or anything, just seeing if all men are pigs or not. C'mon, guys, prove me wrong. Please? ^^

[Sammy Boy]

Well, in answer to your questions..

- loves jesus more than ANYTHING
I want to say that I do. But I know I need to work on this, so I don't think I am. I do love Jesus, but I don't think my faith has been put to the test. I'd rather consider my faith to be not as strong and continually strive than to think it is good enough and become complacent.

- does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
Women are people. I talk to women, but I talk to guys as well. I try to consciously avoid situations where I am alone with another woman.

- does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
I don't really know what destructive habits are, so I probably don't have any. I certainly don't intentionally harm myself mentally, emotionally or physically, if that's what you mean.

- doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
I actually used to swear a lot (like every second word). Shortly after I became a Christian, I suddenly decided that it didn't seem right for people to have to put up with my swearing. So I haven't swore in a long time.

Just for your information, I've met guys with a much better track record than myself.

[KBMaster]

Destructive habits=drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. Well, you're honest, lol. Can't say I've met too many honest guys, lol.

[Da Rabid Duckie]

- loves jesus more than ANYTHING
That's really hard to say without feeling really guilty. Yes, I love Christ but the fact is is that if I were to say it I loved Him more than anything, I'd feel guilty. I still screw up just as much as the next guy, I just realize that I'm under His grace and can be forgiven.

- does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
Well let me say this: I'll talk to anyone. Anyone. But I'm not even going to think of pursuing a romantic relationship with a girl unless I find her attractive. One of my standards in a wife is that she has to be beautiful, since I equate a woman's beauty as a physical sign of how awesome the Lord is. In other words, I want to be able to wake up every day next to my wife, and be reminded first thing in the morning of how truly Good He is. But you know what, while I have high standards I realize that it's selfish to ask that much of her if I may not yet be what she needs herself. So I've spent the last six years in self-preparation to be the kind of guy she needs in return.

- does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
Pssh, did that. Wasn't worth the time. The only destructive habit I have now is a penchant for explosions.

- doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
Cussing is no problem, I don't see the point in it. Now, am I gentlemanly? Yeah, for the most part... I open doors for most everyone, guy or girl (mostly girls), and kind to nearly everyone that needs it (unless they look mean), but at the same time I'm a cocky lil spit that tends to get on people's nerves... especially when I have something to rant about.

edit: I just noticed you're 15. No wonder you're disappointed with guys. :p There are very few guys that age (no offense to the guys that age that are here, think about this again in ten years and see where you stand on it) that even know who they are yet. This is why I usually recommend to people that they hold off on dating until they're ready for marriage. I mean REALLY ready for it, not just "ooh he makes me feel so good X3"

[Kura Ookami]

I dont know if you could call me a decent guy or not, since i struggle with hentai on a daily basis and hentai doesnt exactly portray women as the people they are. I dont approach women because they are "hot" because they are people, not objects.

As for loving jesus more than anything, i cant say i do at least not all the time. It's easy to put your girlfriend before God sometimes or that's what i find anyway.

I dont smoke drink or take drugs, but i dont know if you'd consider my addiction to hentai as a destructive habit or not.

Sometimes i admit i do swear and it's something i need to work on, but i rarely do.

So my track record is probably not quite as good as Ultra Magnus' but im working on becoming a better christian and a better person.

[Puritan]

Interesting, most interesting. Well, most of the people I know consider me decent, or a "gentleman" if you would. But I'll mention a few of your criterion. God is the center of my life, and extremely important to me. I can't rightfully say that God is always more important than anything to me, but God has changed my life and will continue to do so, and I greatly desire the day when He will truely be the focus of all of my life. I'm not there yet by any means, but with the help of God I am working toward that goal.

I view women as people, and greatly admire many women I know for their minds and personalities rather than their bodies. Admittedly, I am influenced by how people look, but I have never known anyone who isn't at least somewhat influenced by looks. When I talk to women I do it because they seem to be nice people, not because they look gorgeous. Looks concern me less than intelligence, kindness, prudence, and wisdom, and these traits are what I look for in people.

Unless you consider having an alcoholic beverage (and only one) with a meal once in a while destructive (and yes, I am of age for that type of thing), I stay away from destructive habits. Admittedly, I still sin and I do consider all sin destructive, but I try to aviod physically and emotionally destructive habits as best I can. I can't stand swearing and I keep my tone proper and avoid crude speech, preferring instead to confuse people with some of the really large words in my vocabulary. And I aspire to be a true gentleman, although I'm not there yet. Courtesy is, in my experience, an art lost in the rush for modernity and speed of living, but I do my best to keep it alive.

I'm not perfect, and no one I've ever known is, but hopefully examples from a few people will help show you that all men are not pigs. I've known a number of gentlemen I greatly respect: my father, several friends of the family, several pastors, all of whom I aspire to be like in one way or another. From my experience there are many decent men in the world, and many indecent men as well, it's just that the former are often harder to see than the later. Keep looking, and I'm sure you'll meet a number of them if you haven't already.

[Scribs]

Not to seem arogant, but I would say that I fit those catagories. I am not perfect of course, but neither is anyone else.

Not all men are pigs, there are some really good guys out there.

[TurkishMonky]

i try to love Jesus mor ethan anything, but i sometimes slip up.

guys hormones are somewhat to blame, but i make the best effort i can to not let a girl's looks control how i percieve them. i'm kind of shy, so i don't really go up and talk to anyone i don't know, but when i do befriend someone it is usually because they are a nice (and usally crazy like me) person.

have never drunk alchoholi beverages, smoked, swore (Except using d* and h* in theological discssions ), or done drugs, and have been able to overcome and continue to surpress other addictions in my (far) past.

[Syreth]

- loves jesus more than ANYTHING
Working on it.

- does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
Women aren't objects. I can't say I'm not influenced by someone's looks (everyone is influenced somehow by that), but when I see someone who's overly primped (let's just say "dressed to impress") it kinda turns me away. Not to say I can't be friends with someone like that, but in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, no way.

- does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
I've messed up here before, drank a couple times, smoked (cigarettes, pot) a few times, but that was about five years ago. I was rebelling against God.

- doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
I swore for a few years, but I stopped about four or five years ago.

I heard an interesting sermon one time about dating. I know this isn't about dating, but the speaker brought up an interesting point about the difference between guys and girls. For the most part, I think it might be true (although others might think differently). He said that girls usually have much higher standards than guys do regarding relationships. Then he went on to say that it might be good if these women would go easier on the men. He also said that the men would do better to have higher standards when dealing with relationships (rather than approaching a girl just because she's "hot"). I thought it was an interesting insight.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

To love Jesus more than anything is always a work-in-progress for every human. I don't think you will never get to the point where you will "Entirely love Jesus 100%" Because there will be times where you sin, and putting God below #1 is part of sin. They go in together, as you cannot sin while having God as #1.

Nethertheless, I understand what you mean, and I put myself into the "I love Jesus More than anything" Characteristic

I generally try to avoid women who are labeled "hot" by society. My tastes are far different. I loathe the devaluation of women, it sickens me.

Destructive action: I made a vow to never consume any alcoholic drink ever.(Besides a few miniscule sips I've had in church and/or dipping a tip of a chopstick into a bottle of soju and licking it) Now I am never even going to do that. I don't want to have the potential of starting a habit. Drugs and/or substance abuse is also a major no-no.

I loathe foul language, the use of it puts you in a state of "conformity" along with the rest of society. One of the goals of Christianity is to be different than the status-quo and what is accepted by the norm.

I guess I am gentlemen-like. I do have a problem around girls, as I tend to get nervous and such. (Not much self-confidence eh? Maybe I'm shy)

[Steeltemplar]

- loves jesus more than ANYTHING
I do love God (and thereby Christ). I guess it depends on how you would define love, really. Perhaps the best way for me to describe it is that my loyalty to God is absolute. I would face death for God and would not deny Him for any reason.

- does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
I don't view women as objects, that is certain. But I will admit that I think physical beauty is something I would like. I'm not going to lie or force myself to not be true to myself. I do want to marry someone I am attracted to. Now, I certainly still talk to girls and befriend them if I do not find them initially attractive. So love is possible through that vein. I believe that if you love someone they will become more attractive in your eyes. And character is the most important aspect of love to be certain. I would never marry a gorgeous woman who had a bankrupt character or who I couldn't hold a good conversation with.

- does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
I do like to have a drink now and then. Is that considered a habit? lol. But seriously, I am not what would be considered a drunkard at all. I'm more like the type who has one drink with dinner sometimes.

- doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
I don't cuss in front of women and children Really, swearing is a habit I picked up after a couple of years in my workplace where everyone swears like sailors. It's amazing how these things will rub off on you if you don't do anything about them. I am currently in the process of getting rid of this. As for being gentleman-like, I am definitely that.

So do I make the grade? lol.

[Cap'n Nick]

There are decent guys in the world. They're just not as noticable because they're not hooting like chimpanzees while slashing your bike tires.

[Tringard]

loves jesus more than ANYTHING
Well I love Jesus, working on the more than anything.

does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
well I'm a bit shy/introverted, so don't approach anyone really. I will admit that being physically attracted is something that affects me as much as I try to ignore it. But potential friends are marked by their personality, not their looks for me. I don't view women as objects, but have had problems in the past that could have lead to such feelings .

does not need destructive habits to make himself whole
Well of the ones you listed, I don't drink or have any interest in trying (I am already of legal age), don't smoke or do drugs. I do think I've had some destructive habits but We're working on those .

doesn't cuss, gentleman-like
I don't cuss, having always felt that it detracted from reasoned conversation. Try to be as gentleman-like as I know how.

[Zilch]

loves Jesus more than ANYTHING
'chup. Without Him, I'd be...well...let's not even go there...

does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"

Women were never intended to be objects, but a help to men, so no, I don't view them as objects. But we guys do notice looks first, because you usually see a girl before you talk to her, but I also find some girls can become (while not physically) more attractive as you get to know them, and you learn to appriciate their finer points.

does not need destructive habits to make himself whole

My only destructive habit is fragging nUbcakes in Halo 2.

doesn't cuss, gentleman-like

I don't swear, and whenever possible, I try to hold doors open for the lady-types, and be as polite I can...but hey, they gotta see the real me sometime, right? ;p

[Stephen]

Your 15. Most guys that age have not hit a stride in there spiritual maturity. 'sides. Asking someone if there a decent guy is a bad question, because nobody is gonna be harsh on themself. I leave the answer to that to the women around me I guess.

[Scribs]

Your 15. Most guys that age have not hit a stride in there spiritual maturity. 'sides. Asking someone if there a decent guy is a bad question, because nobody is gonna be harsh on themself. I leave the answer to that to the women around me I guess.

That is a particularly good point Ark. Age adds alot, and so its probably not a great idea to be jumping to conclusions about Mankind from the examples of 15 yearolds.

[Steeltemplar]

That is a particularly good point Ark. Age adds alot, and so its probably not a great idea to be jumping to conclusions about Mankind from the examples of 15 yearolds.

If average 15-year-old guys were a good indication of men in general, I would feel very sad for the human race

[Chiyocities]

[quote="KBMaster"]*note* I'm not looking for a date or anything, just seeing if all men are pigs or not. ]
Heh. I think I'll have to say that most 15 year olds will probably act like pigs, but they will eventually calm down when they get into college and start to have jobs. I know I'll say I've acted like a 'pig' when I was started high school (though in a friendly, drug-free, girl-respecting way).

But like what has been said with the postings before me, people change with age.

[Danyasaur]

For me I know plenty of decent, great guys within the age group of 5 to 98 XD, everyone has their flaws, I think girls aply to this area of "decency" as much as any guy does. . . I KNOW more guy then girls that love Jesus cuz' guys are who I tend to hang out with cuz' I grew up surounded by them XD but I've also had the great pleasure of knowing some girls tham love Jesus just as much as I do, but there are still those girls and guys that just. . . don't, that's why we should witness to them and show them God's love. And regardless of gender everyone at some point in their life will judge somone by the way they look and probly even talk to them based on how cute they are ect. I have known of both guys AND girls that do veiw the opposite sex as objects, but for me I find that this is not as common as just thinking somone is good looking and wanted to talk to them because of that, which is not allways the best way to aproach somone but I don't find anything wrong with that unless you have harmfull intentions. When somone is beautifull, we're drawn to that, wether it's inside beauty we see or outside beauty we see, the question is not 'did you aproach me because I was cute' it's 'what were you intentions for aproaching me. . . at least, that's what I think, everyone has differant views and I could be wrong about this all! ^_^. And as for boys having their own destructive habits, girls have alot of those too, like getting into relationships when they are WAY too young and then breaking up and getting another boyfriend and hooking up about 100 gazillion times before they getting married, now THAT's destructive the way I see it and it's the same with alot guys, but again, as much as our culture stinks by actually aproving this kind of behavior it doesn't mean that EVERYONE regardless of gender, struggles with these things. We all have flaws, but that's why God's so AWESOME, cuz' He takes us as we are and counts our sins as if they NEVER happened! So even though I still don't claim to be COMMPLETELY at the point of loving somone no MATTER what, I'm still determined to veiw everyone I meet as God would veiw them, and to the best of my ability love them like He does.

that's my, two, in the most loving way, I hope, I could muster, cents, and now I will vanish XD *POOF*

[Zilch]

*nods and thirds Ark's opinon*

[Anti-me]

As Ark says, good things come to those who wait. Just think back to when you were 12 to 13 and how you acted. Guys, they say, are 2 years behind.

[Saint Kevin]

I'm a wretch that's being sanctified more and more every day. I'm don't meet perfectly any of the criteria that you set out, but I'm learning too. Praise God.

[IZ&Trigun4life]

I ask the same question myself, actually I ask if theres any decent people in the world. As far as I'm concerned, there aren't any here in Delaware.

[Nate]

I'm a wretch that's being sanctified more and more every day. I'm don't meet perfectly any of the criteria that you set out, but I'm learning too. Praise God.

Ooh, you said it better than I could have. That's how I feel about myself.

[White Raven]

I think the more you expect of the men around you the more respect you will get.
Of curse there are always the exceptions.

Example when I was working at a factory boat building interiors. There was this guy that was always making rude comments to the girls.
When he tried it with me, I let him know flat out that I wasn’t going to take it.
And after that he was completely nice to me.

This can also be applied in a relationship.
If you let a man know that you will treat him with respect, and that you want the same from him.
He will either step up to the plate or not date you.

[mitsuki lover]

From what I recall from being 15 boys that age are mostly hormonal driven so you do have to wait awhile to find your ideal guy.
P.S.Yes,even Christian guys of 15 can be highly hormonal driven.

[Tommy]

1) loves jesus more than ANYTHING
Working on it.

2)does not view women as objects, does not approach a girl because she's "hot"
Women aren't objects. I can't say I'm not influenced by someone's looks.

3) does not need destructive habits to make himself whole

4)doesn't cuss, gentleman-like.
I swore for a few years, but I stopped about four or five years ago.

Syreth, I numbered your comments so I could mkae things easier to respond.

1) Same here.

2) Also same here, but sometimes I get temptations but i fight them off for the most part.

3) Same here as well.

4) Another same here, except i sware if I`m really angry or if i get hurt. I don`t enhance my "sentences".

[Yojimbo]

I'm a work in progress to all the criteria listed. But my actions speak louder than any spiel I could give here.

[Ratrace]

The teenage years prepare us for who we will become. Which is a shame, because I heard that a study on boys showed that by 15 we're incredably likely to be less mature than when we were 5. This was relative to something(girls?), but I dont remember what.
You might have noticed that all the men here claiming not to be pigs are shy or at least quiet, which is probably where the myth came from.
BTW, who told you to think we were pigs anyway?

[Tommy]

Um...that is definately stereotyping.

I am almost 15 and the only time i act under the age of 12 is whne I`m with my guy friends. Other than that, I act 15.