Great Grandmother Ollie...

[KA1-EG13]

I can't help but share about what I learned about my grandmother's mother, Ollie. Some of my folks were home and started to talk about this very humorous woman that I wish I could have met, though it might have costed me several butt whipings.

As my kin put it, Great Grandmother Ollie was not a woman that was to be trifled with. If she had to she would beat the tar out of you. When my dad was a young boy (understand he is in his late 60's now) he got into soooo much trouble. One day Ollie told him that she was going to whip his behind, but my dad in his rebellious youth told her she had to catch him first...heh.

Ollie got up out of her chair and told him to start running. My dad ran out of the house and ran as far to the well untill he slipped and fell on his front side. Before he could get up however, Ollie stamped her foot on his back and pulled the rope out from the well that was used to draw the bucket, wetted the end of it in water, and proceeded to whip my dad into submission.

As she got older however she wasn't able to catch the next generation of Grimes on foot. She could get my sisters through guilt trips but Randy, just like my dad, ran.

One thing Randy was particularly fond of was climbing up the mamossa tree in her yard when he was in trouble. She would tell him to get down, but he refused. Grandmother Ollies's solution? She grabbed the BB gun and shot poor randy out of that tree, and then proceeded to whip his butt.

She wasn't all nails and leather boots though. She would help you with absolutly everything. She taught my dad to drive for instance, even though it had been a really really long time since the last time she actualy drove. When dad was in the car with her he asked her why she didn't drive any more. She told him that was because she ran her last car into a well, and it took (I forgot how many) mules to pull it out.

My sister Missy apparantly had a good relationship with Ollie. She never ran when she needed a buttwhippin and respected her. One day Ollie was spitting tobacco into a spitoon on her porch, i believe, and missed the bucket. Missy pointed out that she missed the bucket but Ollie would reply, "Thats Ok, God will wash it off with the rain."

That one incedent brings to my mind the time Missy told me about when she decided to experiment with cigerretes. She was in a straw hat and somebodies flipflops, according to her, and although I forget where she was hiding, Ollie caught her in the act. Of all humiliating things Ollie got herself a camera and took a picture of missy inhaling the cig and then whipped her hindparts raw. I myself havn't seen the picture, though admittadly I would very much like to.

Now, for anyone who thinks Ollie was just a mean mean old woman, I would have to agree, but she was a mean mean old woman who loved her grandchildren.

During the winter time Ollie would come over from her house and light the chimney fire early in the morning, and then leave. This perplexed my siblings and when Missy asked her mother (I have a different mother from my other siblings) why Ollie would light a fire when she didn't stay, her mother would tell her it was because Ollie did it so that her and her brother and sister wouldn't be running around on a cold floor in the morning.

When I heard about that, it touched my heart. I dont' know wether Ollie was ever a christian or not, but that is the sorta thing I know that we as christians should do for everybody we can, especialy for the ones we love. If Ollie wasn't a christian and did that, what excuse is there for me, being a christian if I don't do sorta things such as that for the peopel I love?

Althogh Ollie had a lot of unfavorable character flaws, she did have some good aspects about her that I wish to emulate.

Well that about all I can say about Ollie. I figure that the story above would be something ya'll could chew on for a while.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

HAHA! That was awesome! The BB gun

[Lady Macbeth]

The world could use more grandmothers like that.

[KA1-EG13]

Heh. Mabe. If there was, I have a feeling that with that many children having BBs imbedded in thier buttcheeks they will have a hard time getting through airports in later thier later years

[Lady Macbeth]

Nah, you need to dig them out anyway so that they don't cause an infection or metal poisoning in people allergic to them.

It would just mean a lot of people would have little scars on their buttcheeks as a reminder to respect their elders.

[KA1-EG13]

Lol. Didn't think about metal poisoning but your right. I just hope no one would break thier neck falling out of the tree. =)

[EricTheFred]

This lady reminds me of a woman I met once while fishing.

I was having a really bad day of it, having caught one bream (in Texas, that's what we call what gets called a "sunfish" in some other parts) which was on a stringer all by its lonesome down the shore a little. It was getting dark and I decided to give it up. I went to fetch the stringer, but noticed as I approached it that there was a cottonmouth (poisonous snake) on the beach. I carefully approached, to see how close he was to the stringer, only to realize that he had my fish in his mouth. He had apparently taken it, only to discover he couldn't get away (as it was on the stringer.)

I decided to leave it alone, and went back to where I parked. There was a grandma and two kids also packing up to leave for the day. Laughing about it, I told her the story and said I would come back to get the stringer tomorrow. Her face lit up, and she said, "H*** no, show me where it is." Mystified, I started leading the way back, and heard her say "Come on, boys, I want you to see something."

Back at the beach, she marches straight up to it, picks up the stringer, and points at the snake, saying to the kids "Now, you see this? This is why I wanted you two to stay outta the water. You boys listen to me next time, you hear?"

She then proceeded to snap the stringer hard. The snake let go and flew off into the water. She handed the stringer to me and said "Here's yer fish".

I think I managed to get a "Thank you ma'am" out before she marched off with the two boys in tow.

[KA1-EG13]

Lol. Thats an interesting story. The stinger and the cottenmouth...hmm. For some reason that sounds like it would make a good book title.

[Radical Dreamer]

Hahaha, she sounds like Madea from Diary of a Mad Black Woman! XD That's hilarious!

[Sakura15]

You know what is funny about this?

My great grandma is named Ollie...and she is VERY VERY much like yours lol except my great grandma doesnt believe in God.

[Myoti]

ahaha, she sounds like Madea from Diary of a Mad Black Woman!

ARRGHH!! You beat me to it! :p

But yes, that sounds SOOO much like Medea. You should check out the plays. You'll see what I mean.

[mitsuki lover]

Medea gets a bad rep.If you read the myth carefully it was indeed all Jason's fault for leaving her and the kids like that.