Postby ClosetOtaku » Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:25 pm
Almost 29 years ago (sheesh, before most of you were born, that's depressing...), I had a crush on the smartest girl in the school. Big-time crush. It started in 9th Grade when I saw her performing in the school's production of Lil' Abner -- that's what got me interested in working stage crew in musicals. I learned she fenced (the sport), so I took up fencing at the local college. She always was on the Honor Roll -- before that moment, I'd never been. So I decided to improve my grades (getting on the Honor Roll every quarter after that -- "now she'll notice me" I thought. Silly me.).
By 10th Grade, we shared a couple classes, and although we didn't sit close together, I generally couldn't keep my mind off her. I don't think she really knew I existed before then. (Mind you, I'd never had a girlfriend before, never been on a date, never kissed a girl...) We had a few chances to talk and joke, but I really wasn't in her circle of friends, so I stayed on the outside.
Finally, it was opening night for our musical (Pajama Game, I'm really dating myself, aren't I?). She was to perform the Carol Haney dance number that opens the second act. Right before she's to go onstage, she comes over to me (I'm on stage crew), says "Wish me luck!", and kisses me -- full kiss, on the lips. Then, just as quickly, she's off to do her number. I don't remember much more about that night, but as you might guess, I never forgot that moment. (Yes, I suppose in a technical sense, that was my First Kiss.)
The following year, I was looking forward to working with her again on Fiddler on the Roof, but she had a falling out with the director over her casting in the chorus instead of a lead role and dropped out of the production. We had a couple honors courses together in junior year, but she decided to skip her senior year and went right to college. I never saw her again after that.
The last I heard, she's a lawyer in New York state. We have a couple mutual friends we keep in touch with, so every once in a while I hear about her. To this day, I think she is completely unaware that I ever had a crush (can you call a 2-year interest in a girl a crush? infatuation? stalking? I digress...).
However, I can't forget her influence on me. I started studying in earnest, and became one of the better students in High School, then in undergrad and grad school. I continued fencing long after she'd quit, and lettered in the sport in my Freshman year at Carnegie-Mellon U. I worked in musicals and community theater through my college years, and still pitch in to help as a "techie" from time to time.
I never had that sort of a crush on a person again. Was it love? Not really, not as I understand love today. And to be honest, I don't think we would have been very compatible as a couple, if such a thing had been possible. But there is something about putting that "special person" on a pedestal that can have a real effect on you.
So, there. TMI, I know, but just for the record...
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -- C.S. Lewis
Can't forget Squall from Final Fantasy VIII. Oh, and Kenshin.
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