Ever get immensely discouraged by Christians?

[FadedOne]

First off...this isn't intended to be a Christian bashing thread. I know sometimes that's where this kind of thread leads, but that's not my intention. I just wonder...

Lately, due to random circumstances(and perhaps my own cynicism), i've just become very disappointed in Christians. Not so much regarding morals(though that can be a big issue) but rather just in our ability to love and be REAL. I'm so sick and tired of seeing Christian clones with plastic faces and personalities to match. It's discouraging and occasionally it's heartbreaking.

I dont think this is an exclusive problem, but man....I just run into it everywhere in the last few months. I'd managed to put up with it for awhile, but it seems to get worse. How can one trust anyone that's never real or honest? And how come it seems like Christians(and particularly in my experience, Christian women/girls) are far less loving and warm than those who dont know God?? it's crazy!

Forgive me a rant...i'm just fed up and so discouraged. Not only that, but i feel like i hold blame because in order to survive all this fakeness i'm finding myself becoming very guarding and dishonest too. disturbing.

How do you guys deal with discouragement and cynicism with the human race? any good cures? ....could use some advice.

anyway..forgive the rant. :/ maybe this will create constructive conversation though. *hopes*

[ShiroiHikari]

I kinda feel the same way :\

[Nate]

I agree, actually. I won't go further on the subject though.

For the most part, all I do is pray that their eyes will be opened to the truth. That's really all you can do, ultimately.

[Artist4Jesus89]

yep agree here it is true see it alot end of comment

[Radical Dreamer]

Guh, yes. I've seen Christians on other forums who say that other members are going to hell, and then another Christian comes along and says "Yeah! That's exactly what's gonna happen!" *sigh* That really bothers me, I guess. No one should wish for another's damnation.

Another thing that bothers me is how protective Christians can be of their churches. Now, I don't mean denominations or doctrines, I mean the actual building. I mean, it's just a biulding, for Pete's sake. Sure, you shouldn't let it get trashy, but you shouldn't go around telling people they can't drink water in the sanctuary or carry pens in their back pockets, for fear that something will spill on the seat. A speaker at my school the other day put it rather nicely...She said something to the effect of, "A building is not going to impress God! I mean, let's get real...He's GOD." I guess I just think that what goes on inside the church should be more important than what the church actually looks like. Anyways, just a few of my thoughts.

[ssj2gohan61]

I feel the same way about many people even a few christians, there has been times when people make they are someone theyre not and like one day they are completely different and i find that everything they were telilng me was lies.. well i had to get a little ranting out too lol... only thing you can do is pray and forget about it

[Mr. SmartyPants]

What also discourages me is to see people who have this "nice guy/girl face" on forums or something. Then when you speak to then over IM or see their blog, its riddled with obscene language and stuff. It leaves me wondering if anybody has any control over their moral standards.

[Debitt]

People tend to be frustrating for various reasons, and unfortunately this includes Christians as well. ^^;

[Maledicte]

What saddens me the most is how most churches I have seen want their members to be "Christian clones with plastic faces and personalities to match." They seem to forget that we can't all be the same part of the body of Christ, we're all different and yet work together despite, nay, because of, our differences. And a body made entirely out of eyes or toes would be not only cumbersome, but hideous.

Also, I've noticed that soul-winning and church attendance has become somewhat of a competition. More of "We had x amount saved!!" or "We have x amount members! (most of which don't come)" rather than on the salvation itself. If the Good Shepherd would leave his flock of ninety-nine just for the sake of one lamb, I think we should consider converts as people, not as statistics.

[Mave]

Hehe. Do I ever? Sure.

Without intending to sound cynical, the fact remains that Christians are still humans, imperfect in many ways. While such imperfections frustrate me, they also serve to remind us how much we as His followers highly rely on Christ's Salvation and Help to reflect His ways and love.

I've met enough Christians who sincerely try their best and aren't fake, that it convinces me that I shoudn't be discouraged by those who do frustrate me.

Worse come to worse, at least, be comforted that we are not called to place our faith in Christians, but in God and God alone.

[bigsleepj]

Ghandi said he would have been a Christian if it wasn't for the Christians. The incredibly narrowminded ones with a slightly fascistic mindset, put me down. My biggest stumbling block of my faith is "bad" Christians who uses Christ's name to either give relevancy to their own desires and prejudices or agendas. Then there's people who don't really understand Christ or God who uses their names. Etc. I can go on and on and on and on.
(I'd just like to clear up that I don't believe that Christianity is fascistic - I did not mean the word in a nazi way, but rahter that fascism is a forced conformity that does not celebrate diversity - but not all Christians are like that, thank goodness!)

[Syreth]

Hmm... Yeah, it's unfortunate when Christians fail since they don't have to. To tell the truth, I've been disgusted at how I've been as a Christian. You see, I used to do that double-life thing. I used to try to fit into the Christian crowd and still live life the way I wanted. I even led some lost people astray because of this decision. I honestly wonder if there were some that might've come to Christ if I would have been following God like I should have (although I know their salvation doesn't depend on MY efforts, but on whether they accept Christ, but you get my point, I hope). But all I can do is the best with what I have now... likewise for all of us. Let's be an example to these Christians that make us mad, shall we?

[termyt]

Christians will always disappoint you. They are trying to live up to an impossible standard and will always fall short. Focus on the goal, not the others in the race. If you follow other racers, you can not finish any better than second place.

That said, I know I am both a revered example and a stunning disappointment. While I was instrumental in leading a couple of friends to Christ, my example turned others away. All at the same time I was both the Christian I wanted to be – useful to God and helpful to those around me – and the kind of Christian you are talking about in this thread.

[Sammy Boy]

Whenever I think of Christians who disappoint by their speech and actions, I think of myself, and how I've been much worse in the past.

Years ago, I was on the verge of losing my faith because of being greatly discouraged by some who I believed I could count on for spiritual support when I needed it the most.

Then God helped me realise that I cannot see fellow Christians with the mindset that they are absolutely dependable and reliable people. Christians will fail, because we're all imperfect.

Just as I do not find the idea of police officers having the appropriate powers to arrest people wrong or absurd even when I know of corrupt police officers who abuse their powers, so I do not find Christianity any less truthful just because of fellow Christians who do not live up to God's standards.

I think those of us who believe we are more sincere of heart ought to lead by example, in the hopes that our fellow Christians will be changed as a result of what they can observe. I think we also need to pray earnestly for them to change, because that's what fellow Christians do for each other.

[Syreth]

Years ago, I was on the verge of losing my faith because of being greatly discouraged by some who I believed I could count on for spiritual support when I needed it the most.

Then God helped me realise that I cannot see fellow Christians with the mindset that they are absolutely dependable and reliable people. Christians will fail, because we're all imperfect.

I know what you're talking about here. I posted a prayer request for one of my old friends awhile back who basically abandoned his faith because his mentor was arrested for something really terrible and a whole lot of other things came down on him within the space of a year. It's awesome to hear how you were able to get past that stumbling block by God's grace.

[uc pseudonym]

In short, yes. For the moment I won't expound on that greatly. I will, however, note that people as a whole disappoint me, so at times I can take a step back and realize that all Christians are merely being human.

Ghandi said he would have been a Christian if it wasn't for the Christians.

A quote I actually prefer is when Ghandi was asked what he thought of the Christian west, he answered, "I think that would be a good idea."

[Puritan]

I think C.S. Lewis made a great point about this in "The Screwtape Letters." While I (unfortunately) don't have a copy with me, Screwtape (a demon) advises his nephew Wormwood to keep his charge focused on the people in the Church with their failings and problems. The cranky lady you meet at church, the fat man with annoying mannerisms, the hypocritical Christian. However, the book makes the point that seeing people this way misses the point of the Christian walk - it's not about being perfect, it's about being MADE perfect day by day. We can't see where people have come from, we can't know how God has changed their lives. Sometimes the people who seem most Christian aren't, and the people who seem un-Christian are Christian.

It's a difficult struggle to keep this in mind, a guy at my house in college grates on me tremendously and other Christians can seem very hypocritical at times. But I remember that I myself am hypocritical (far more than I should be) and that I have many problems myself, and I realize that every Christian can be in a different place on their walk with God. That helps alot.

[ShiroiHikari]

However, the book makes the point that seeing people this way misses the point of the Christian walk - it's not about being perfect, it's about being MADE perfect day by day. We can't see where people have come from, we can't know how God has changed their lives. Sometimes the people who seem most Christian aren't, and the people who seem un-Christian are Christian.

This is a really good point.

[Taka]

it is a lonely place to be, when you dont' put on all the bull and actualy are real. and most people don' twant to take the risk and be uncomfortable or make others uncomfortable with the truth.

[EricTheFred]

The church is not a clubhouse for saints, but a refuge for sinners.

There are a lot of variations of that saying, and I have no idea which is the original, but they all mean pretty much the same thing. You can't learn Christianity by following the example of its adherents, only by following Christ. It saddens me that Ghandi, and many other wise people, have thoroughly missed that point.

[Nate]

I'm reminded of something I once heard a Christian say. "The dregs of society don't belong here." And that statement made me...well, it made me a bit irritated, to be honest.

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." - Mark 2:17

And when you get down to it, we're no better than the dregs of society. For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And I think a lot of Christians forget that, you know? That ultimately, every single human on this planet is guilty of sin and deserving of God's wrath. We shouldn't think ourselves better than others.

[~Natsumi Lam~]

Do you get discouraged......

all THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


more christians let me down than non christians

~Natsumi Lam~

[mitsuki lover]

What discourages me is when other Christians make litmus tests to prove who is and is not really a Christian.I'm not talking theology here I'm talking really stupid stuff like what music you listen to,what shows or movies you watch,what you wear,how long or short you wear your hair,etc.
And I also agree that sometimes Christians get caught up into the who has the bigger church and most communicants on Sunday contest.Like it really matters that church A only has 50 communicants per Sunday while church B has over 1,000,000?

[Kaligraphic]

I'm reminded of something I once heard a Christian say. "The dregs of society don't belong here."

Sadly, that's an attitude that's all too common.

Why do people seem to think vulgar speech is so bad? You know why? Vulgar comes from vulgus, the latin word for the rabble, the commoners, the peasantry. Christians have to use aristocratic language, because, well, we don't want to have anything to do with the world. (and of course, anyone who comes from the world, and can't transform themselves into a model of aristocratic condescension fast enough can just burn) You know what I say? I say that a Christian who cannot speak the language of commoners cannot affect his generation.

Or clothing - do you have to wear Old Navy or L.L.Bean to be saved? But if someone comes in from the world, they'd better have saved up for a new wardrobe or they can just burn.

Or video games. Why in the world do people even condemn video games? But come in from the world with a tast for GTA3 and Unreal Tournament, and many churches will throw you right back out.

Or the whole sex is evil and must be avoided at all costs thing - I mean, news flash, people, how do you think you got here? "Well, Mommy and Daddy went down to the store..." Nope. Try again.

The whole point of these kinds of attitudes is to condemn people - essentially, to work against the purposes of Christ. And every time a minister stumbles, a pastor has an affair, embezzles a little money, whatever, the people call him a "wolf in sheep's clothing", a hypocrite, a deceiver, and go "I guess we never really knew him" - when they're the ones who are more wrong! His sin is forgiven on the cross, but they, in their judgmentalism are still in the employ of the devil!

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil has two sides. One side teaches you evil, and the other side teaches you good. Embrace evil, and go out to sin, and it'll kill you. Embrace good, and go out fortified with your own works, and it'll kill you - but worse. You see, the evil side will just tell you that salvation is out of your reach, but the good side, more devious than evil, will tell you that you don't need salvation.

End rant mode.

[PigtailsJazz]

Well, we're still human...

I think a lot of times we get really high expectations for our brothers and sisters in Christ, but we've got to remember that Christians all sin! Jesus is the only one who is perfect.

Now, for my disclaimer, I do agree with you and get extremely frustrated with certain people for not being 'real' and whatnot, but I know that I have done the same myself.

It's just hard to think of that when someone's really bothering you....

[Syreth]

Why do people seem to think vulgar speech is so bad? You know why? Vulgar comes from vulgus, the latin word for the rabble, the commoners, the peasantry. Christians have to use aristocratic language, because, well, we don't want to have anything to do with the world. (and of course, anyone who comes from the world, and can't transform themselves into a model of aristocratic condescension fast enough can just burn) You know what I say? I say that a Christian who cannot speak the language of commoners cannot affect his generation.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with you there. As for me, I don't swear, and I definately don't talk like an aristocrat. It's not because I don't want to have anything to do with the world, either. I choose not to swear because I want to be obedient to the word of God. I could give you a couple verses if you want.

Anyhow, I would agree with you that it's unfortunate how we can develop a fake holiness that doesn't want to reach out and show people the love of Jesus. We all need God's help to love people the way He wants us to.

[FadedOne]

ah..man, today sucked. well sort of anyway. It's good to come back and read these comments. I appreciate that people are relating(not that i want people to relate, but you know...it helps to feel less isolated) and adding to the discussion.

I guess it just seems hopeless sometimes when the people I want to look to as examples(even flawed ones) seem to be more concerned with impressing others than being faulty and honest. *shrug*

But yea, good thoughs. I reaaally need to read Screwtape Letters. The quotes from that book are always good.

oh and yea...THIS

Or the whole sex is evil and must be avoided at all costs thing - I mean, news flash, people, how do you think you got here? "Well, Mommy and Daddy went down to the store..." Nope. Try again.

just made me laugh. XD thanks.

[Puritan]

I think ya'll bring up a good point about sex, music, and morals. I think that the Christian response to these things is generally to ensure that what they do is God-fearing, but society can't seem to get alot of things straight. We get caught up on minor things, like talking about sex (in a respectful and polite manner), listening to Rock-and-roll, clothing, or other things. We are often unwilling to accept people for who they are and focus so hard on these, usually minor, details that we can't bring the love of God to people.

About a week ago, I was told a true story by a gentleman who has lived in my city for about 40 years now. In the 1960's the church he went to was extremely conservative in their approach to clothing, speech, music, etc. One Sunday a group of people we would call Hippies started coming to his church, and they kept coming back. This caused an uproar among some of the church members, the people didn't dress the way everyone else did and they talked and acted differently. Some members of the church didn't want hippies at church, and caused quite a stir. The problem was solved because enough people in the church realized that clothing and speech didn't matter, these people were coming to church (and being polite, I might add). There was no reason to protest their being there, but much reason to rejoice that they wanted to learn about God. We should maintain Christian standards of living, but should make sure to remember what God requires of people without thinking that every social more is from God.

[mechana2015]

I agree definitively with the first post in the thread... especially considering the people who have made friends with me in college, and have shown an interest in me as a person... have been non christians mostly. I typically feel like I'm intruding on a lot of the christians that I know when I hang out with them. It's getting better... but it always bothers me to see how mean christians can be to each other...

[EireWolf]

I count myself really fortunate for the last several years, to be part of a healthy church full of people that, for the most part, do not put on a false face on Sunday. I knew I had found a church where I could be myself when I saw that one of the members of the worship team was wearing goth-esque makeup.