I have never had a girlfriend.

[TurkishMonky]

same here... no GF...

[chibiphonebooth]

awwwwww. wow, i never knew how many people have never had gfs/bfs.

i thought iwas like..one of the only ones. it feels like that sometimes.

er more like alot of the time. >.>

[Archan]

Everyone has emotional scars of course, that just comes from living life. Some are more obvious than others. For example, my boyfriend obviously has some scars (of all sorts) from physical abuse. I, on the other hand, have been deeply affected by my father's emotional distance. Not as immediately obvious, but there all the same. We're all shaped by our experiences positive and negative.......

And that will always be an aspect of romantic relationships. They are full of chances. There is no guidebook, roadmap, or blueprint, and that allows room for faith and for God to be the creative, artistic God of redemption that he is. I got out of wanting to have everything mapped out a while ago and started just enjoying God's composition of things.

I myself struggle with having a sucky prayer life, but his is amazing and I know for a fact that he prays every morning and every night for God to stay in the center of our relationship.

Would it be horribly traitorous to have a girl in your little army? (I'm not very good at being a girl, anyway.) And what is the purpose of this impromptu army, may I ask? ("Do you have what it takes to join the Homestarmy? The intelligence! The determination! The FIVE BUCKS!")

The mom of one of my old friends always called female friends "friendgirls".

[font=Times New Roman]Hello again!
I am glad you and your BF have come to terms, and though as your said your prayer life is shakey, I'm glad it's one of the founding factors of your guys relationship, it will come into play believe me.

I agree with a number of things you have said, that we are all emotionally unique through our own speical experiences of pro's and con's, that there is no guide book to love, I whole heartedly agree]

[chibiphonebooth]

Hi, luv the art BTW (Visited your site, very groovey) alas you and others are not alone. Let this thread unite all whom have yet to dive into the chocolatey creamy-ness of flurtation, only to avoid the chewy chunks of long term relationships.

ahaha thanks!

lol, the chocolatey creamy-ness of flirtation? lmao. XD

[Htom Sirveaux]

lmao. XD

Language, Chibi! No "laughing your arteries out" here!

I, too, am perpetually single. "What's that?" you say, "The Bard? Single? No way, he's got sk1llz!" Yes way. I think the main thing I lack is confidence (I guess I'm not much to look at either, but maybe that's that lack of confidence talking). Ah, well. Still waiting for the girl who'll prove me wrong.

[chibiphonebooth]

i say it stands for 'laughing my armpit off.'
because you hafta laugh pretty hard to have that happen.

awwww... you lack confidence? DONT WORRY! YOU CAN DO IT!! GO GO GO! *roots for you*

although..im the same way. XD

[TurkishMonky]

My reasoning is that I'm just a complete nerd lol.
really though, i know a lot of girls who are friends, but have never really had the desire to "date" any one yet.

[chibiphonebooth]

AW. i love nerds. i have a shirt that says 'i <3 nerds.' LOL.

[Syaoran]

The same way you know if anything is of God. Pray. Read the scriptures. Ask your trusted Christian friends/mentors. I don't mean that in a cliche way, but I believe God wants us to know, at least in part, His will for us (I'm not saying anyone can ever know the full will of God. Like Aslan, God isn't "tame").

I have no magic formula for it, but it seems to me that the God I know wouldn't place dreams of family and desires for marriage in someone destined to be single. Doesn't that seem cruel to you? And Christ wants our best.

So if that is the case....that means that God is showing me part of his will to me when he puts dreams of desires for marriage and familys in my dreams....Just asking.

[yukinon]

Nerds are awesome. Some of the best people I know, and the people who put me most at ease, are nerds/geeks/dorks. Of course I'm a bit of those last two myself. But there is a certain genuineness that comes with a complete obliviousness to social rules (or simply indifference to them). It's very charming in its own way. ^^

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Like Daria. She's charming (in a way) lol

[chibiphonebooth]

are you kidding? nerds/dorks are amazing. XD i love them soo much. all the guys ive liked are like that. hahaha.

[Archan]

ahaha thanks!

lol, the chocolatey creamy-ness of flirtation? lmao. XD

Oh, sorry about the arteries, dunno what came over me. Recently recovering from a cold/flu/flem hybrid of a disease plus it was 2 in the morn when I wrote that soooooooo, yeah, whacha gonna do when you can't help ones own insanity?

Alas, I now fore-go the west, only to meet the east, and bring peace to the northern and southern hemispheres of bachelor and bachelorette-hood only so they can meet in the equator of togetherness.

*Flys away*

P.S. Nerds do rock
Archan

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I do not understand a word you just said Archan but it sounded very cool. (like something Strong Bad would say)

[KojiroMusashi]

Yeah, many good points brought up here. Unfortunately, it was 11 pages when I began reading it, so anything I was going to add to or counter has just flown my mind...


Right! Dating at a young age, which was covered rather well. Age doesn't really matter, BUT. . . dating is for Marriage only! It's not just to get to know someone. You can do that easily without the added pressures of a relationship. So the whole dating scene under 16....um, should NOT be seen!


*Bad rhymes coming out of mouth, smack me somebody before I start quoting Dr. Seuss.*



Anyways, as far as myself goes, yeah, never had a relationship that went beyond friendship. Not for lack of wanting, but I also realize that it's not the right timing. I'm also giving myself a painful complex, because I've fallen completely in love with a very good friend. We've been friends since 1994, so you could say the friendship is pretty solid. But the complication is twofold:

1) I suffer from the whole "don't wanna risk losing an incredible friendship on the chance of something better" bit. So there's that mental roadblock to overcome, if I can reach the point where I'm ready for a relationship.

and

2) She's always filled her life with guys. Never the one month kind, but nothing for real... and now she's wishing her guy would hurry up and propose. They've been together for about a year, and had dated earlier too. It's frustrating because I think she's happy with him, but I don't really know for sure. And as much as I care for her, I care for her happiness too much to attempt to even tell her.


*YES* She doesn't know, how bad is that? But like I said, I want her to be happy. That's all that matters to me, really. So if she's happy with him, who am I to do anything but support her, as a friend? And if God wants it to work, He'll take care of it for me. Still hurts though, and it's not like I even chose to feel this way. It just happened, over the course of a few years.

Meh... Complex forming...must...clear........head......


-KojiroMusashi

[Archan]

I do not understand a word you just said Archan but it sounded very cool. (like something Strong Bad would say)

Dude, Strong/Bad just rocks bro! You have smitten me with the solid rod of flattery, leaving me in a state of unconscious self-fulfillment, sore with the bruises of personal achievment and hemorrhaging the righteous fluids of insparational motivation

Now that I've probably scared a few people....

KojiroMusashi
Hi! Nice to meet you! Hum, your situation sounds like one I think I've heard of before here on CAA, I could be wrong, but something about it does strike me as familular. Anyways,

I was going to say you should tell her so you wouldn't have that on your mind and stuff, but then you said she knows so...uh, yeah, thats taken care of.

Anwyas, like I've expressed, a friendship can be salvaged after a relationship, but it takes commitment, time, understanding, time, reassurance, and did I mention time? I'm sure I mentioned time, but I'm also sure you get the picture.

If and when your friend comes out of her current relationship (If and when...) and your still serious about your feelings, talk to her about such things, if you two are that close of friends then its perfectly fine. I had to do this recentlly with a good college friend of mine, she disclosed that she liked me, I sat there and talked to her a good hour about why I didn't think it was a good ideal, and we are still good friends, if not closer now. so talking about it I think would be very good for both of you.

As far as actually starting a relationship, like you said you feel the timing isn't right so leave it at that. But remember just because your timing for a relationship isn't on doesn't mean your friends is off (Clearly displayed by her current relationship). And she has expressed she isn't willing to wait, so if you have truly choosen to to be content with her happiness, I would seriously spend some time thinking about it, perhaps even talking about it with another close friend (Gender rarely matters) and truly see if you yourself have come to accept this. I'm not saying you haven't, but I've seen many other people think they have, and then find out they haven't all too late. By best of luck to ya!

*Laughs* I just read when I've written and realised how this must sound coming from a guy whose never been in a relatioship.....but as I said Love isn't logical, it's Chaotic, hard core Chaos baby, hardcore!

I luv this thread!
Archan

[KojiroMusashi]

Just to clarify...I said

*YES* She doesn't know, how bad is that?

P.S. Never included a quote from another postie like this...hope it works!



And your advice sounds sound


*oh boy, here I go again*


I appreciate it, Archan. Nice to meetcha too, by the way.


I've recieved advice similar to this before, but I can't do what seems simple to many. Honestly, I can't say for sure that admiting my feelings to her wouldn't have a negative effect on our friendship. Guess I worry that, post-confession, she'll always have it in the back of her mind, and be second-guessing my motives every time I do anything friendly.

This is, of course, absolutely unacceptable. I really want the absolute best for her, and I'm content (or perhaps I should say, resigned) to leave things unsaid for now. And there's also the issue of her beliefs...she's not a Christian, and I've been friends with her since Grade IV, when neither of us were. Now, Jesus showed us that it's a bad idea to be involved with someone who doesn't share the same beliefs, so I also don't want to act because of this. But like I said before too, I really didn't choose this situation or these feelings. It's just the way things went, so...

And I'm praying for her of course!


Things will work out, one way or another.


-KojiroMusashi

[Archan]

Gah!

Sorry KojiroMusashi, I thought it said the latter. Thats what I get for tryping at 2 in the morning, so so sorry.

Hum didn't know she wasn't saved either though. It might be best for you to concentrate more on her salvation then....only because well, I don't know, if I were a person whom found out a good friend liked me before trying to convert me, yeah, I would take it they were trying to convert me for all the wrong reasons. She would second guess your motives; I've had my motives examined for trying to witness to someone because A: it was a "she", B: I had disclosed she shared feeling for me, but "my" motives were still under the microscope. No, I didn't share her feelings, for the curious minded out there, but you get my point.

Personally, I'd definatley shift gears and focus more on witnessing, but not on your own being you already share strong feelings for her.

Definately still talk about the situation with a good good friend however, you'll feel better, believe me.
Alright, time for the insomniac to get some sleep
God Bless,
Archan

[boerseun]

sorry but I'm just really board. It is true by the way.

I guess this can become a thread for guys like me or something.

Just saw this thread for the first time and I'd like to say: Someone give this guy a trophy! This might seem strange, but I really wish I could say the same. Instead of trusting God, I decided I'd follow my own "heart" (sound familiar?), only to realize that the heart is deceitful above all things. I've never stepped over the line (if you know what I mean), but I can't help feel that God could have and would have done more in my life if I had stayed single.

I can happily say that I've been single for three years now and I intend to keep it that way for as long as God sees fit. The right time and the right girl... I'm leaving it in God's hands.

[roadoffew]

Just saw this thread for the first time and I'd like to say: Someone give this guy a trophy!

Thanks! although I really don't derserve any trophys.

[boerseun]

Thanks! although I really don't derserve any trophys.

Then how about a good hand shake and a cold coke while we talk about what God is doing in our lives?

Anyhow, I really hope that the fact that you don't have a girlfriend doesn't get you down. I want to encourage you: God knows what He's doing, just trust Him. And when you find the girl God intended for you, let us know and well praise and thank Him with you.

[Mangafanatic]

sorry but I'm just really board.

Oak or pine?

Sorry. I just couldn't resist.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Man, why aren't there any ladies where I live who dig t3h geeky? I just wanna find that Player 2 before I become an old denominator.

[TurkishMonky]

our whole college group is kind of g33ky including the girls... dunno if that's good or bad...

lol, this is kind of related... in our college group we usually hang out after the bible study, and this week there was no less then 7 laptops being used in our group of 30... lol instead of playing pool r pingpong or watching a movie w all just got on our laptops...

[chibiphonebooth]

Dude, Strong/Bad just rocks bro! You have smitten me with the solid rod of flattery, leaving me in a state of unconscious self-fulfillment, sore with the bruises of personal achievment and hemorrhaging the righteous fluids of insparational motivation

strong bad = my hero. ALOT. he is my ... .. hero. tehres no other word for it. XD

Man, why aren't there any ladies where I live who dig t3h geeky? I just wanna find that Player 2 before I become an old denominator.

i live slightly close- athough i am probably much to young for you. XD LOL. >.>
but dont worry, you will find one! ^^

our whole college group is kind of g33ky including the girls... dunno if that's good or bad...

lol, this is kind of related... in our college group we usually hang out after the bible study, and this week there was no less then 7 laptops being used in our group of 30... lol instead of playing pool r pingpong or watching a movie w all just got on our laptops...

um yeah. that really sounds like something i would do. computers call my name, man. they are like SAAAAAAAVAAAAANNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH COME SIT AND GO ON FUN WEBSITES LIKE CAA DURRING SCHOOL WHEN YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING! XD

[roadoffew]

Then how about a good hand shake and a cold coke while we talk about what God is doing in our lives?

Anyhow, I really hope that the fact that you don't have a girlfriend doesn't get you down. I want to encourage you: God knows what He's doing, just trust Him. And when you find the girl God intended for you, let us know and well praise and thank Him with you.

Well right now I'm trying to spen more time with God. I'm struggling with an addiction right now so I don't think I get a girl friend anytime soon. Of course God can work miracles.

[mitsuki lover]

On the bright side of things the older you get the more you realized the type of girl that you want to be with.This is why I am not joking when I say that I would like a girl like Kagome.

[Icarus]

I've never had a girlfriend either.*

*Don't you just love technicalities? I had the usual assortment of crushes. If not for my innate shyness, I would have been quite the playboy in first grade. Then, I fell in love. I thought we were just friends. We didn't go out or anything, didn't even hold hands. But the summer after I turned 18, she suggested we start courting or dating or whatever.

I said no. I don't think I was as gentle as I thought I was, and not nearly as kind as I should have been. We were writing each other, so none of this was face to face. I wrote her a bloodless letter, stating why. It wasn't until a few days later that I realized I loved her, but by that point... to borrow from Archan, I had put her heart in a blender. When I learned that, mine followed. So yes, I've been in love, but never really thought of myself as having a girlfriend.

To save the ladies the trouble, I am a: jerk, cad, blaggard, scoundrel, idiot, heel and several other names I can't bring to mind at the moment. Yes, I am Icky. If it's any consolation, I'm still trying to form shapes from the puree of my heart. If my pride ever gets uppity, I throw this at it.

Please, don't play around with love. Don't be in a rush to find a significant other. If you're wrong, it hurts like blazes to find out.

EDIT: So help me, Joy, if you ever tease me about this, you will not live.

[hawaiishirtguy]

Aloha guys,

I haven't read through the whole thread yet but i'm along in the boat with ya.
Never had a girlfriend, although I have been on several dates, decieved, used as therapy... And I honestly have no clue why. I mean most of the girls like me as a friend, nice guy, sometime shoulder to cry on but when it comes to anything more than that its like mining for fish. Ah well, aside from avoiding romantic movies life is too much fun to let it get you down for long. Take heart my brothers! We have a perfect love that abides within us, and one day God willing we will get to share that love in marraige to the most awesome daughters of the King!

[Mr. SmartyPants]

2 Things I want to say

1. My pastor once told me that people always see singleness as a curse.... yet it shouldn't! It's like.... the anti-curse

2. This analogy-thing i thought of myself. Many times we ask ourselves (or ask God) why we are single. Why that girl we have feelings for doesn't return those feelings back. Maybe we do a little sobbing or crying on our pillows, or feeling depressed whenever you listen to full moon wo sagashite music or whatever...

anyway, I believe that Jesus starts asking us "Is my love for you one sided? I love you sooooo much! Yet your love for me doesn't seem like it could be to the full potential!"

So you know what we say? We are all "Jesus bro, you're all good and all, but you can't cuddle with me, embrace me, share hot cocoa with me, do all that stuff. I can't date you, I can't marry you..."

So Jesus says to us "I gave you life"


See... i mean.. Jesus will love us and does love us more than any girl (or if you're female, a guy) will love you. You gotta do the same! As in not just love Jesus and have him #1, but be passionate about it!

Hard to do, yes I know. Honestly even I don't deal with that well. Netertheless, your love for some gal or guy oughta be redirected to the creator =D