I have never had a girlfriend.

Talk about anything in here.

Postby chibiphonebooth » Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:20 pm

wow.

im 17. and every guy in my town stinks. XD

maybe ill find someone nice in college!! :3
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Postby Wakarimashta! » Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:23 pm

I have not begun to think about a girlfriend until I graduate and get a real job. Quite frankly, girls aren't that much of a priority now, especially when I need to stay afloat with tuition costs and studying for a degree.
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Postby mitsuki lover » Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:30 pm

:lol:
Well I don't have a real significant other girlfriendwise,I do have some great female friends like sao_sakura. :angel:
Besides I'm a bit picky I wanna a girlfriend/wife to be like:
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:41 pm

[quote="Kokoro Daisuke"]^_^]


I agree wif j00. Emphasis Quoteâ„¢
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Postby Stephen » Sun Dec 04, 2005 8:53 pm

Mitsuki lover wrote:Well I don't have a real significant other girlfriendwise,I do have some great female friends like sao_sakura.
Besides I'm a bit picky I wanna a girlfriend/wife to be like:



You may find a 2-d girl rather disapointing. They will never pick up the tab for meals, and if you try to kiss them....they can give the worst paper cuts.
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Postby desperado » Sun Dec 04, 2005 9:00 pm

Until college girlfreinds are overrated. Its just not for some people till the majority quit looking at the jocks and turn their eyes towards people that would be better for them in the long run.
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Postby Gooseberry » Sun Dec 04, 2005 9:30 pm

I had my one and only boyfriend when I was twelve...and we did absolutely nothing. Since then I have had no serious relationships to speak of. :lol:

Edited to avoid offending. :grin:
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Postby Warrior 4 Jesus » Sun Dec 04, 2005 9:41 pm

Gropage? Is that really appropriate for a family friendly site?
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Postby Scribs » Sun Dec 04, 2005 9:43 pm

Yeah, thats what I was thinking. And the fact that you are laughing about it, is very sad, even more so because you are only 15.
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Postby Wild Eagle » Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:05 pm

Personally, I don't like the aspect of having a girlfriend. It's probably because I've always been taught to study now, go find a wife after university. I don't mind having girls as friends, but nothing more than that unless God tells me otherwise.

If I had it my way, I would probably request for an arranged marriage, in the future. :sweat:
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Postby Kaligraphic » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:24 am

Two maxims that will hold you in good stead: never shop when you're hungry, and never date when you're lonely.

If you go shopping when you're hungry, you'll buy all sorts of food that looks good in the store, but when you get home, you'll find that you don't actually want it. It's the same with dating - if you date when you're lonely, you'll magnify the appeal of even the most unappealing specimen of the opposite sex.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby Archan » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:19 am

*Smiles*

I like this thread, reminds me of another a while ago Titled "Anyone else afraid of girls" or something of that nature, was another fun thread.

I also like how in the first two pages a majority reason for not having a girlfriend is money....too groovey.

Oh my, where are my manners? I Archan am also a member of this club, I have not dated, not sought interest, nor have ever had a relationship with the opposite sex, ever. And I'm the same age as W4J (Hi BTW!!!!) which I think make us two the oldest ones here....I think. Regardless,

I found alot of this interesting, mainly the financial part because lo and behold that is one of my primary reasons, they cost too much. No, really, at first I just thought this was something I simply thought until I talked about it with others at my church whom had been in relationships, youth and young adults at the other churchs, other Assemblies, college (Which is not the best place to harbor a relationship, believe me, you would not believe the horror stories) and alot of it comes down to finances, dunno why. For me at least it's because I'm poor, the term "Starving Artist" indeed holds true. And another thing is I don't wanna be the "Hold on babe, I have to go ask the parents for money" type either, which I've also seen my share of. Just something about it bugs me, i dunno just doesn't seem right. but anyways.....

Another reason is because I do know I'm not spiritually mature enough at the moment (I think this was addressed here too), there are many things I have yet to sort out spiritually concerning my own path and relationship with God, I need to be right with God before I think of involving myself with someone else on that level. Once I'm sure God has me where He wants me then I'm sure He'll lemme know if I'm ready or not for a relationship. and no, I'm not the type to have a girlfriend "Just because", yes there are people like that too. When God gives me the green light, I plan on taking things very seriously, not so serious as in *First date* "So, what do you wanna name our kids?", but for the reason it should be in the first place, love.

One of my final reasons, and I'm being dead honest, girls scare me. No, really, and being there are some females here in this thread, you guys scare me because you have too much power. I think I wrote this in the other thread I mentioned earlier, but you guys have the power to take a 500pd buff as Ferrigno guy and bring him to his knees without physically touching him because why? You hold his heart, and with it the power to cradle love of throw it in a blender, hit the "Whipped" button, and serve it to him on a nice platter of "It isn't you, it's me". I don't think you guys realize how much power you wield some times, I've seem some guy friends become complete wrecks because of breakups, poor dudes, and I'm more then willin to admit I don't think I'm that strong yet.

So for now I'm very comfortable living the glamorous life of a single starving Artist searching for his path with God, and so far God seems to think so too. So with that, I look forward to more posts on this thread.

God bless,
Archan

P.S. There was something here mentioning Love being logical, if it's one thing I've learned through observation, Love is Chaotic, an very unpredictable, which in turn make it more adventurous one would say no? ;)
1 Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
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Postby Scribs » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:25 am

This thread made me think of this song. I do not hold this opinion whatsoever.
HIGGINS
What in all of heaven could've promted her to go,
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could've depressed her;
What could've possessed her?
I cannot understand the wretch at all.

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating hags!
[To Pickering]
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?
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Postby Archan » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:33 am

[quote="Scribs"]This thread made me think of this song. I do not hold this opinion whatsoever.
HIGGINS
What in all of heaven could've promted her to go,
After such a triumph as the ball?
What could've depressed her]

Oh wow, this should be good.

*Sits back, throws on war helmet, and jumps into bunker in anticipation of the on-coming war*

Times like these I wish comments like this were made in a group of people so I can study their reactions...great drawing reffrence material :sweat:
I'll be in my bunker,
Archan
1 Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
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Postby Warrior 4 Jesus » Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:12 am

Archan, good to hear you again mate!
Actually there are older people on CAA, but we may be the eldest on this thread.
I think a lot of what you say is true. I have some friends that are girls and some girls do scare me also with the power they have. Very frightening!
I think its best to get to know someone well before you even consider a relationship.
*Joins Archan in bunker, ready for the onslaught*
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Postby yukinon » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:52 am

The power thing goes both ways, except that women also have to worry about the physical aspect of things. (abuse, rape, all that nice stuff) Even the guys who seem the nicest can be unpredictable and when dating, there are going to be times when you're in a situation if the guy turns dangerous and wants to try something, you have very little chance. There's a lot of trust involved on the part of the girls.

For example, my boyfriend has a history of abuse in his family, and has experienced parental abuse himself. He is adamant that these family sins stop with him and has shown absolutely no signs of such behavior. But the possibility still scares me a bit and I know that if he ever did try anything, no matter how tough I think I am, I would be absolutely helpless.

So I take a chance, and I trust him. "The only place where one can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell."-C.S. Lewis

~pats the people in the bunker on the head~
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Postby Bobtheduck » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:47 am

yukinon wrote:The power thing goes both ways, except that women also have to worry about the physical aspect of things. (abuse


Trust me, men sometimes have to worry about that, too... It's just not as widely publicised... Of course, that usually waits until the wedding is over...
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Postby kaji » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:48 am

Girls are trouble guys... Stay away from 'em...

*hears wife calling to take out trash*

Stay away... >_<

When its Gods plan/timing for you to meet someone, you will not be able to avoid it.
Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.
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I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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Postby Aka-chan » Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:52 am

Wild Eagle wrote:If I had it my way, I would probably request for an arranged marriage, in the future. :sweat:

Oddly enough, I've often thought the exact same thing! But, the funny thing is, I know my Father has the perfect guy already picked out for me (if He intends for me to marry, that is), and I know that He will arrange the most beautiful relationship possible if I only listen to His directions. It's very comforting to think about when I'm stressing over doing things right. I can be at peace with waiting. ^__^
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Postby Yeshua-Knight » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:16 pm

Warrior 4 Jesus wrote:we may be the eldest on this thread.


i don't know that that's entirely true, but you're close
'nuff said
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Postby The Grammarian » Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:20 pm

Never been on a date before either. Don't know that I ever will either, but we'll see.
To all, life thou givest, to both great and small.
In all life, thou livest, the true life of all.
We blossom and flourish as leaves on a tree
And wither and perish, but naught changeth thee.

--Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise

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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:22 pm

Kaligraphic wrote:Two maxims that will hold you in good stead: never shop when you're hungry, and never date when you're lonely.

If you go shopping when you're hungry, you'll buy all sorts of food that looks good in the store, but when you get home, you'll find that you don't actually want it. It's the same with dating - if you date when you're lonely, you'll magnify the appeal of even the most unappealing specimen of the opposite sex.



what if you're lonely but have your eyes (and heart) set out for this very specific girl, and not other girls

Honestly, I'm nervous around girls too. I feel they are all gonna JUDGE ME AND PERSECUTE ME AND SLAP A TITLE ON ME.. or something scary like that... haha and some sorta do x__x

Especially the girls that are "more popular" or older/my age and attractive.... and have different interests than me. If they ask me to do something I'm all like "uhhhhhhh uhh uhh uhhh okay"
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Postby Kaligraphic » Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:37 pm

It's better to work on becoming a complete person, so that you're not influenced by loneliness. Otherwise, you'll be looking for the other person to fulfill you, and if they're in the same boat, they'll be looking for you to fulfill them. The thing is, neither of you will be able to fulfill the other, so that lonelines that drove you together can break the two of you apart.

If, on the other hand, you are already fulfilled, you'll be able to enjoy the other person without needing more from them than they have. That's part of why I say never date when you're lonely - even if it's the perfect person for you, you may not be the perfect person for them yet. Or, vice versa. Or perhaps neither of you is there yet.

Basically, let patience have her perfect work, because impatience produces shoddy results.




Intelligent Trousers-san, here's the key to that nervousness. You don't become a man just by living twenty-one years. You don't become a man by growing more hair than bigfoot. You have to be trained, have to be brought to a place of submission. This is why the military can straighten people out - a guy in the army, say, has to learn to follow orders. He has to learn to submit to his superiors. Then, once he has learned to submit, his superiors can acknowledge him as a man, and - importantly - he can receive that acknowledgement.

Whether the man you submit to is your father, someone in your church, or a drill instructor in the army doesn't really matter - the point is that you have to submit before you are able to receive that acknowledgement. You have to acknowledge in yourself that they have the authority to give or to withhold that acknowledgement. As you are acknowledge by someone you respect as a man, you'll be able to respect yourself more as a man, and that will take care of most of that nervousness. After all, you'll know your worth.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.
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Postby roadoffew » Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:03 pm

Just to let you know, If your post is more than 5 sentences long, or just looks really long, I probally won't read it. I lazy. Sorry
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Postby Rachel » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:49 pm

I've never had a girlfriend either, nor do I ever plan on having one. XD
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Postby roadoffew » Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:22 pm

Rachel wrote:I've never had a girlfriend either, nor do I ever plan on having one. XD


Okay! that joke got old a few post back.
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Postby Archan » Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:47 am

Yay,
More posts....

W4J
Dude, been too long. How is summer in the land down unduh? :thumb: Hope all is well, and I'm glad of your awareness of the power of the female...
*Shares a piece of ration while taking a peek topside*

Hum, seems like the war wasn't so bad no? Regardless good to have company. One thing to comment on though,
I've talked with many of my female friends, of various ages, and maturity levels about this.....there seems to be a catch to the whole dating good friend deal. The fear of loosing the friend. It seems that once the step is taken to date, theres a line that is crossed in the persons mind's eye saying that friendship can never really be the same again, if even recoverable, pending on the grounds in which a breakup would occour (I've seen ever so few "Good term" breakups, very rare). Personally, I feel the friendship is more then recoverable, if not strengthened through the experience, in fact most of the people whom make the first attemp to mend the frienship is the male counterpart *Note in the word attempt, doesn't always work*, and in some cases things do recover, but only after tremendous time lapses and other emotional experiences....I've observed this as well, was sort of a middle man in one such relationship, friends of both parties, they broke up, I had to mend the peace, not fun. Anywho, I find the "Date the friend, friend no more" concept a myth, I personally think the friendship is totally recoverable, but it would mainly depend of the comittment the two people have to their A: Relationship and B: Friendship. If both are serious in trying to mend things, I find it more then possible to make things work and not be side tracked by the "If this relationship doesn't work, will I lose my friend?" Though it is rare, I have seen friendships mend, and both hearts heal, but like I said such cases take committed friends. Anyways, by this point I've probably already lost Road of Few (Joking :sweat: Props on starting this thread though, lots of fun :thumb: )

Yukion

Nice to meet you first of all, I found your response interesting, plus your the only female that has joined us two scared Men-ly Men *snikers* in the bunker, thanks for the pat BTW. I wasn't speaking of power in terms of physicality, but in terms of emotional superiority. Personally I think women are the most developed emotionally of the two genders, hence when it comes to things as which gender understands which the best, males are usually at a loss. However, you bring up an interesting point of conversation.

Personally, I have worked with people and talked with people whom were victims of abuse (Sexually, Violence, Mentally, male and female) and ironically have found out something very intriguing, they are the most well rounded nicest people I could ever be around. First of all they're happy all the time, which is great when you need that pick me up...and they just understand the darkest levels of the spectrum of suffering, so they are the best peole to talk to when you or I am struggling because they really do understand what it means to suffer... they are so happy about everyday life and just simply living because God had delievered from such horror and they are truly thankful for every day of life, every new experience, ever new friend, every old friend.....eveything. They are truly awe inspiring individuals whom I'm more then happy to call friends and my Brothers/Sisters in Christ. Yes they all carry emotional scars, but then again who is to deny that Love doesn't do the same? These people, my friends have come out of the darkest of trials, and have been tried to be found pure as gold...their wisdom and kindness is what keeps me going many times, and allows people wo help those whom have gone through simular trials, but have yet to find peace.

Like I said, they all have emotional scars, but in terms of your BF I really don't think you have anything to fear. In reality, we all have our own emotional scars no? In light of this if you really do have doubts and fears, just pray about it...like I said before if there's anyone who has an answer, God does.

Think I've written too much again, oh oh oh, Yeshua Knight is currently the eldest of this thread, would that make him our Lieutenant W4J? :lol:
God bless,
Archan
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Postby TrigunX89 » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:56 am

I've had some female friends if that counts. ^_^

But those are few. No, I have never had a girlfriend... I'm generally not too worried about it though. Someday I will find the right girl if God allows.
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Postby yukinon » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:31 am

Everyone has emotional scars of course, that just comes from living life. Some are more obvious than others. For example, my boyfriend obviously has some scars (of all sorts) from physical abuse. I, on the other hand, have been deeply affected by my father's emotional distance. Not as immediately obvious, but there all the same. We're all shaped by our experiences positive and negative.

Fact is though, that abuse does tend to run in families. But hey, we've talked it over quite honestly (brutal honesty has been our relationship rule from day one) and I trust him. It's a chance, but I'm taking it.

And that will always be an aspect of romantic relationships. They are full of chances. There is no guidebook, roadmap, or blueprint, and that allows room for faith and for God to be the creative, artistic God of redemption that he is. I got out of wanting to have everything mapped out a while ago and started just enjoying God's composition of things.

I myself struggle with having a sucky prayer life, but his is amazing and I know for a fact that he prays every morning and every night for God to stay in the center of our relationship.

Would it be horribly traitorous to have a girl in your little army? (I'm not very good at being a girl, anyway.) And what is the purpose of this impromptu army, may I ask? ("Do you have what it takes to join the Homestarmy? The intelligence! The determination! The FIVE BUCKS!")

The mom of one of my old friends always called female friends "friendgirls".
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Postby Cap'n Nick » Tue Dec 06, 2005 9:00 am

Right on, Archan. If both parties are mature dating doesn't have to be the end of a friendship.
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