nosey parents

[Artist4Jesus89]

my dad is sooooo nosey example i was in the bathroom plucking my eyebrows and then my friend tori called and i went in to get the phone and he was at my computer desk i mean i have nothing to hide it just annoys me i think he might think im doing something bad i doubt he does but thats what it seems like does anyone have nosey parents and or grandparents?

[Shadowchild]

I feel your pain. My parents arent as nosey but they are soo overprotective. I feel like NMemo. *cries*

[~Natsumi Lam~]

i think nosey is good.... at least he cares.

I dont think any teens should be allowed to have anything secret [other than certain personal business]... because secrets can lead to wrong things for most people. I am so glad my dad and mom kept tabs on me. It payed out in the end.

I had probably the most overprotective parents ..... believe me it was far beyond normal. And yet ... i am still praise God for it fully.




~NL~

[Dunedan]

I disagree. In a perfect world, there would need be no secrets between parent and child. In this world, though, people are petty, cruel, misled, stupid, or all of the above.

What I'm saying is that there is room for privacy. In fact, its kind of a necessity. My parents aren't really nosy, but they are overprotective and my mom is very prudish, so I can sympathize.

[Rev. Doc]

Parents...nosey is in the job description. You'll understand someday.

[Mithrandir]

It will allways depend on the parent, but it seems logicall to me that a world where parents care enough to be nosey will have better kids than a world where the parents don't care enough to snoop.

There's going to be a fine line between when you are old enough that they don't and when you are young enough that they must.

Hmm. Come to think of it, perhaps Rev. Doc really hit the nail on the head. This whole post isn't going to mean must to someone under a certain age anyway.

[Nate]

I agree that parents should be actively involved with what their kids are doing, and should be at least a little nosey, for the sake of the child.

However, I don't agree that "there should be no secrets." Kids DO need to have a personal space that is ultimately their own.

Seeing what a kid did online, I think is just making sure they aren't doing something they shouldn't. Yes, it would be nice if your parents trusted you, but like Rev. Doc said, I guess when you have kids you'll understand (not that I have kids, just that I am old enough to know that it's true).

However, reading their kids' diary or something, that I would have a problem with.

[Arbre]

However, I don't agree that "there should be no secrets." Kids DO need to have a personal space that is ultimately their own.

Fully agree with this.

Seeing what a kid did online, I think is just making sure they aren't doing something they shouldn't. Yes, it would be nice if your parents trusted you, but like Rev. Doc said, I guess when you have kids you'll understand (not that I have kids, just that I am old enough to know that it's true).

However, reading their kids' diary or something, that I would have a problem with.

Ok, when you mean monitoring online activities, where do you draw the line?

Because with a whole lot of conversations I have with my closest friends, it is just as personal as a diary entry. And what's more, those friends often say things that I definitely feel would be inappropriate for my parents to read over because of the honesty and trust invested in the conversations.

Granted, I'm old enough that my parents have absolutely no right to be snooping into my conversations and such, but I do honestly wonder what you meant by your comment on parents seeing kids' online activities.

[White Raven]

Trust must be earned.
That’s all I have to say.

[starfire]

Oi. My mom is mostly the overprotective one. She can be nosy at times. Drives me nuts...even though I know her motives are good. No matter how many psychology books you read...it will always drive you nuts.

It's ironic that the ONLY things that my parents aren't overprotective about is the one thing I'm not interested in. For instance, my mom says I can date whenever I want(under certain conditions)...yet she has issues with martial arts and walking to the gym. Oh cruel cruel irony! I feel your pain manga artist.

*counts days until college*

[Artist4Jesus89]

*counts days until college*

lol

[PrincessZelda]

My parents aren't too bad. But if I happen to close a window on my computer when they walk in the room they think I'm trying to hide something from them. But usually I really did just happen to close it right when they walked in. And so my mom gets all suspicious of me... And then she starts interrogating me... lol. But she never goes and looks at where I've been online or anything.

[Nate]

Ok, when you mean monitoring online activities, where do you draw the line?

Because with a whole lot of conversations I have with my closest friends, it is just as personal as a diary entry. And what's more, those friends often say things that I definitely feel would be inappropriate for my parents to read over because of the honesty and trust invested in the conversations.

What I meant was as far as looking at what sites the kids were on/had visited, not so much reading what was written on specific sites. I think that going to a kid's LJ or xanga or something and reading what they had written there wouldn't be a good thing, but what I meant was just making sure they weren't on some of the shadier sites on the net.

[lostlamb99]

I think my parents were right about raising me and like I keep on saying, I'm not like most kids (And I mean very different). I guess as a kid my parents taught me taht it was for my own good and even when I was young I had a sense of maturity. Kinda hard to explain but if aany of you guys know me, you'll understand. The good thing is when I truned 12 they did eth exact opposite. They don't monitor me taht much coz tehy knwo taht I'm responsible and honest enough to tehm. To tell ya teh truth I'm sometimes even more strict on my siblings than my parents back tehn. (I told ya I'm different )

[Heed]

Well, here is how it is for me.

If my parents would have been a little more nosey while I was growing up, even though I hated when they did invade my personal space, I would have been saved from alot of struggles such as severe depression, pornography, and variuous other problems and battles I had to face. Thank the Lord that He has help me overcome these things, but I had to go through years or battleing and struggles before I could be back to "normal". However, because of some of these things, I will never be "normal" again so to speak.

Yes, parents can be annoying asnd obsessive and it seems like they are ruining your life and invading your privacy, and I believe this old saying can apply MOST of the time. "If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to worry about."

I am a senior in college and I have been comming to this realization recently. My parents are awesome, and if they weren't as "nosy" as they were many times, I would have been involved in some really bad things.

[starstoryteller]

Amen Heed!
Even though I'm not doing something wrong at that moment, it just feels uncomfertable.
But think of it this way: They feed you,cloth you,and give you compter time.
So they have a right to it.

[Eriana]

i think nosey is good.... at least he cares.

I dont think any teens should be allowed to have anything secret [other than certain personal business]... because secrets can lead to wrong things for most people. I am so glad my dad and mom kept tabs on me. It payed out in the end.

I had probably the most overprotective parents ..... believe me it was far beyond normal. And yet ... i am still praise God for it fully.




~NL~

I disagree. In a perfect world, there would need be no secrets between parent and child. In this world, though, people are petty, cruel, misled, stupid, or all of the above.

What I'm saying is that there is room for privacy. In fact, its kind of a necessity. My parents aren't really nosy, but they are overprotective and my mom is very prudish, so I can sympathize.

Parents are supposed to be protective. Most are not so that is precisely why so many kids these days are so out of control. My parents are protective but I'm happy for that. Without that I would just turn into the world around me and blend into the messed up crowd with snot nosed punks. Kids want attention from their parents. Judging that sometimes my parents can be overprotective I think, but then when I think about it more later, if not for them defending me like God wants I could have been in deep trouble somehow. This may not occur to everyone but parents are there to guard and protect their kids. I would be the same way with my kids. It's just the way of good godly parents.
And without my parents guidance, I question if I would have even met God and loved Him as much as I do now!
That's the thing that frightens me most.

[Shepherdmoon]

Hey it is instinctive for parents to be protective so all you have to do is deal with it or talk with them about it.

[Eriana]

Exactly what I just posted.
I agree with Shepherdmoon, if you have a problem talk with your parents! ^_^
I'm sure they'll understand and try harder to be better about it.
My biggest problem is when my dad bursts open my bedroom door without asking. That's annoying, but my mom and I both talked to him about it and he's getting better.

[Shepherdmoon]

Thank goodness my parents aren't very nosy [except my mom ].

[~Natsumi Lam~]

:thumb:



Parents are supposed to be protective. Most are not so that is precisely why so many kids these days are so out of control. My parents are protective but I'm happy for that. Without that I would just turn into the world around me and blend into the messed up crowd with snot nosed punks. Kids want attention from their parents. Judging that sometimes my parents can be overprotective I think, but then when I think about it more later, if not for them defending me like God wants I could have been in deep trouble somehow. This may not occur to everyone but parents are there to guard and protect their kids. I would be the same way with my kids. It's just the way of good godly parents.
And without my parents guidance, I question if I would have even met God and loved Him as much as I do now!
That's the thing that frightens me most.

i totally agree

~NL~

[Artist4Jesus89]

yeah im kinda getting used to it now just because i am accepting the concept that they just want to know whats up and be involved and i know that once i get kids they will probably think that im the most nosey mom in the world when they are teenagers so yeah i just need to chill and let them be parents (or grandparents) and enjoy that they are taking intrest in what i do instead of getting offended thanks ppls

[Heart of Sword]

I disagree about pretty much everything people have been saying here.

Protectiveness is good, Natsumi; what isn't good is overprotectiveness. Protectiveness is wondering what you're doing and wondering how you are spiritually. Overprotectiveness is when parents treat you like you're five years younger than you really are, which includes controlling what you watch/listen to. Seriously, parents do need to learn that if they play Holy Spirit for their kids all the time, then when the kids move out, they won't know how to listen for the Holy Spirit because they're so used to listening to their parents instead.

[lostlamb99]

Well heart of sword is also right. Parents should give more responsibility to their kids when teh time is right. My parents keep reminding me taht I gotta learn to do things on my own coz tehy won't always be there in college so they trust me enough taht tehy know I'm not gonna do anything bad but even if I did and I did soemthing just recently) they knwo I'll tell them. My conscience won't take it if i kept anything form my parents.

[Debitt]

[quote="Heart of Sword"]I disagree about pretty much everything people have been saying here.

Protectiveness is good, Natsumi]
I agree with you entirely, HoS. Being protective is good, but everything in moderation. It's actually a phenomenon that I've been seeing at my little brother's middle school. The worst kids out there are the ones who either have parents who don't care or have parents who tried to monitor every little aspect of their lives; and that bothers me immensely. Kids have to learn how to form their own beliefs and convictions, not have them force fed to them by their parents. Furthermore, trust is always a healthy factor in any relationship, including the relationship between parent and child. Eliminating the element of trust will more often than not lead to rebellion and embitterment on the part of the kid.

Naturally, of course, there also has to be a slight element of distrust on the part of the parent as well. But I think when a lot of kids complaing about their parents being overprotective or too distrusting, they're just being kids - I know I complain at times, but the steps my parents have taken are very reasonable. It's not until you see an overly controlling parent that you realize what a favor your own parents have done for you.

[Scribs]

I think that (although annoying) erring on the side of protectiveness if better than not.

[lostlamb99]

Kokoro's right but hey not everyone can be a perfect parent (ok no one can).. at least they should want what's best for their kid. Communication is also a vital factor.

[Nate]

*supports what Kodai and Heart of Sword are saying*

Overprotectiveness to the point of controlling a kid's life or expressing no trust at all in the kid are definitely just as bad as not monitoring them at all. Like Kodai said, there has to be a slight element of distrust...but there's a difference between a slight element of distrust and no trust at all, and the latter is definitely bad.

[ShiroiHikari]

It's hard to know where to draw the line, I think.

When I was a kid, my mom used to get mad at me if I shut my bedroom door. It's not that I was hiding things. It's just that I'm introverted and I like privacy.

One thing that pisses me off is when people mistake self-consciousness for guilt. The reason I don't want you looking at my drawing or writing binder is because I'm self-conscious about my work, not because I'm making porn or some crap. I just don't like people looking over my shoulder. Which led to lots of fights with my mom. >_<

[Heart of Sword]

When I was a kid, my mom used to get mad at me if I shut my bedroom door. It's not that I was hiding things. It's just that I'm introverted and I like privacy.

One thing that pisses me off is when people mistake self-consciousness for guilt. The reason I don't want you looking at my drawing or writing binder is because I'm self-conscious about my work, not because I'm making porn or some crap. I just don't like people looking over my shoulder. Which led to lots of fights with my mom. >_<

Same exact experience here. Rrrrkkk. But once she DID snoop around (a few years ago; I couldn't do a thing about it), she realized she COULD trust me and kinda chilled out.