to whom it may concern

Postby **steelbeliever** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:08 pm

as have several other CAA members...i'm going to leave CAA for a little while...to try and organize my life again and get back in touch with God...i'm struggling with my faith...and this has caused me to start cutting again...so i'm saying good-bye just for a while...i can't explain any further until i sort this out...

~God Bless~

S.B.

Postby **Locke** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:18 pm

Rock on dude, remember where you keep your towel.

Postby **Yahshua** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 8:48 pm

I be praying for ya SB.

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:18 pm

praying for ya steel! You go tackle those problems!

Postby **Artist4Jesus89** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:13 pm

i will be praying as well

Postby **~Natsumi Lam~** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:27 pm

Locke wrote:Rock on dude, remember where you keep your towel.

hu?

~NL~

Postby **Mithrandir** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:51 pm

(It's a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy reference. To paraphrase: keep things in perspective.)

Postby **~Natsumi Lam~** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:57 pm

this is what i have to say.... as i look at my own slices on my wrist.

DOnt be dumb enough to cut yourself! Been there, done that.,... as i walked away [ as i was bleeding on the kitchen floor and my arm was burning]... "Crystal you are such an idiot... God put you here for a purpose and you are robbing God of that Joy because you are letting lifes pressures and trials weigh you down.. so much so that you go do something this stupid"

I am not going to be like " I will pray for you" [ i definitely will pray but this is what i have to say first], you need to start praying against demonic influence of depression, suiside, hate and bitterness. I dont care if you believe it or not, it is a fact and even christians can have demons, and yes i know from first hand experience.... me. YOu need to look yourself in the mirror and say... stop being so childish... christianity and life are very hard and difficult! Yes i know... but In CHRIST ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE... that means all things, the things people tell you "You will never do, or you are dumb and worthless". THROW THEM OUT THE DOOR... God knows what you can do! [IT IS NOT JUST A VRS >> IT IS A FACT] And He is the Guy that knows your future... not even your family knows your future... man, seriously trust in God and quite trying to find the easy way out! Each line of the knife makes a new problem in your heart and spirit. God is the one to [NOT] put a bandade! He fixes it if you give it to HIM , he fixes yoru heart and spirit!... easer said than done yes?~ I know, i have struggles since i was 13 with depression, didnt want to live, wanted to die, cutting... even in the good times. But in the end... you are saved, called as God's child, you were born for a purpose and reason, ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER ... that means ALL ... to those who love God and are called according to HIS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO go to your pastors, ones that believe in deliverance.... and healing. Go to them and if you want your whole life healed and restored , do it and quite playing around because in the end [if you dont make changes] you are distroying who you can be, dont let Satan win... remember he cant have your soul but you sure can give up your life to him.

A little note: for those who dont believe in demons and deliverance... i challange you to go to church with me one night at training and/or the normal service... you will think otherwise [this kinda thing is going on all around the US and world now]. God is doing a supernatural thing in the lives of people, even christians. And, dont " Be asleep in your bed" and God come and pass you over because you are letting doctrinal traits hold you back... i went to a church all my life that didnt have deliverance/healing ... and one day after many dealing with the devil.... you can believe or not.... look at the only physical healing in the bible... most accounts of the bible involving healing with Jesus had verses close to it with spiritual deliverence. So, dont let Gods anointing and work pass you by, because we are here to help those that are hurting like steelbeliever ... and we will be less effective and in some ways detremental to those in need if we dont have all the weapons in our belt that God has given us.

So steelbeliever i want you to recognize that i completely understand you view on this and your pain.... some might be personal dealings but i have my own unique pains too. I am here for you. Go get some help from pastors, get renewed and delivered from the thoughts actions and pulling parts of your life.. and move on. God has it all handled in your life, and yoru families... So let Him do His job without making it worse on you. Remember this, God cant help or do anything with a dead man[physical]. So be alive in Christ and give him your burdens , " His yoke is light" and he will only give you what you can handle/// dont give yourself problems... let God give you [in His divine wisdom] what He knows you can handle.

if anyone is unsure about what yoke is refering to historically... PM me.

PS steelbeliever Know that God loves you with all His heart, He is here for you... let Him be.

PSS Moderators... if you prevent this post from being aired.... it is on your heads that something that God put on my heart to write was taken away. Also, i am not usually so straight forward and harsh... but when i am told to do something... i get it done, even if i dont like it. So in the end, you dont know what is going on at steelbeliever or anyone reading this home, God does.

In Christ love, Crystal Lam

Postby **chibiphonebooth** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:58 pm

good luck, byee!! ;_;

*hug*

Postby **Godly Paladin** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:35 pm

Oooh. This is technically a 'goodbye' thread. It is, since you're leaving for a while, but it's not, since you're not leaving for forever. Whether or not Zilch comes down on you for this is up in the air, although by not posting in this thread you've upped your chances.

Postby **holysoldier5000** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:43 pm

S.B. remember to always trust in God in everything you do. Lean on His will and not yours. Remember the story of Job and remember that God was always there helping Job through the troubles. Don't give up on God because he never gives up on you.

Job 23:9-11
9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
11 My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.

Postby **Warrior 4 Jesus** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:47 pm

Awesome post Natsumi Lam, very heart-felt and honest. Thankyou for sharing your experiences with us so that we can better understand people who cut and just encourage each other to keep on going when life gets tough.

I've never tried cutting, but I sure have gone through depression (I still do) and its easy just to walk away from it all. But I've learnt I have to hand over everything to God and He is slowly healing me. He can do the same for you. Learn to trust Him more, surround yourself with Christian friends. It sure isn't easy to combat depression but with God on your side you can't go wrong! Just give it all to Him.

God Bless you steelbeliever, and I pray that you draw closer to God and see what a precious creation you are in Christ Jesus!

Postby **Yumie** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:25 pm

I'll pray for you! I'm sorry that you're going through everything that you're going through, but just remember that God puts struggles in our lives so that we can be refined like gold. I'll pray that you'll stop cutting and that you'll learn to handle your struggles in such a way that you will grow from them.

Postby **Nate** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:47 pm

~Natsumi Lam~ wrote:if anyone is unsure about what yoke is refering to historically... PM me.

Uh...why? It's not like it's anything that would cause a debate... o.O;;

"A crossbar with two U-shaped pieces that encircle the necks of a pair of oxen or other draft animals working together."

Anyway, steel, I know things are rough, but I am praying for you. You know that. Depression is a burden I've been given to bear too, so I can feel you on that. Here's a glomp, my friend. I pray you feel better soon.

:hug:

Postby **agasfas** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 10:10 pm

Hey steelbeliever, I pray that things work out. No matter what happens, the Lord will always be there. Some situations may be painful, but in the end, things do work out. It just sometimes takes time. I hope you are able to sort out whatever it is that is making you sad. You will always have support here at CAA. So for now, Take care, I'll be praying for ya. I hope you see you around soon.

Postby **~Natsumi Lam~** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:20 pm

[quote="kaemmerite"]Uh...why? It's not like it's anything that would cause a debate... o.O]

reason....: i didnt want to explain the full biblical meaning behind taht verse./.. not of the yoke itself.. that is a duh.

~NL~

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