The Fake You....

[~Natsumi Lam~]

Do you ever feel you got to put on a fake you?

man i feel like it when i am with my parents-n-law.... i have to be quiet and not talk unless i am spoken to. Also, i got to cook and clean at other peoples houses. I cant be outspoken if they are baggin on me... and i got to laugh it off [but not too hard].


I wish sometimes i could be myself with them. But i think it is a cultural thing. It reminds me of Mulan.

~NL~

[Alice]

That must be really hard.

Being yourself can be hard, sometimes. Especially around people you're not comfortable with. I imagine cultural things added in would make it even harder.

[starfire]

I'm sorry you have to go through that, Natsumi Lam.
And, to answer your question, yes I go through that as well. I'll often find myself pretending to be happy when I'm not, or just conforming to how those around me act. That's one thing I hate about myself, and to some extent I think we all do it.
It can be really hard to be yourself. Especially when the real "you" doesn't seem to be appropriate at the time.
I'll pray for you.

[meboeck]

I went through a period when no one saw the real me. It took a long time for me to stop hiding behind a facade. The more you fake, the more you internalize your feelings, and that can be very destructive. Of course, only God can help you to work out those situations.

[Uriah]

Only a few people know the real me, my parents and "my" church. Pretty much require a pleasant looking mask - a conformation to their image. I am pretty free to be myself here, still I tend to tone things down in the interest of protecting others.

[Lynx]

i do that a lot. i guess not many people bother to get to know the real me.

[TheSeaAndStars]

i yam me as often as i yam. although, for special/formal occasions, i put on a more serious face. thats about it. hmm... job interviews also require a serious appearance. thats about it i guess.

i don't think i ever pretend to be anyone else but who i yam.*a yam. lol*

[Conner999]

I'm always myself, but nobody really knows the real me. It's hard to explain. I don't act "differently" around other people, or even my own family, but they can't really see or understand who I am.

I find that I'm often misunderstood by my close family members, but not by people I don't see so often. It's weird. >_>

[dragonshimmer]

Yup. Did it for about two very long, horrible years in which I lost a sense of who I was or what I really wanted. Stopped smiling a lot, too. Recently got back in touch with myself and started to smile again this year

It makes me sad to hear other people doing the same thing...it's an awful way to go through life. Some situations force us to be that way.

I am who I am now. I've learned that pleasing ALL of the people ALL of the time generally means I'm miserable with myself...I can't act one way or be a specific person just because that's who people want me to be. It's my life, you know? As long as I'm serving God with my life and I'm true to myself and not doing anything harmful to others, I just let myself be who I am. People locally see a bit more of a subdued version of me (except for my best friend--she sees the crazy girl I am), but only because they would probably run screaming, lol, but they DO see the real me. I just behave a bit

[meboeck]

Yup. Did it for about two very long, horrible years in which I lost a sense of who I was or what I really wanted. Stopped smiling a lot, too. Recently got back in touch with myself and started to smile again this year

I smiled a lot during that time, but only when I was around other people. Because that was the fake me. When I was alone, I was a mess.

[dragonshimmer]

I smiled a lot during that time, but only when I was around other people. Because that was the fake me. When I was alone, I was a mess.

I fake smiled too, but I don't count those. They're like...paintings. Not really real. A part of the fakeness, you know?

[Nate]

I smiled a lot during that time, but only when I was around other people. Because that was the fake me. When I was alone, I was a mess.

That would be me. I constantly pretend to be okay, and laugh and smile, when on the inside I'm horribly broken.

[Puguni]

If I were to truly truly think about it, no. Take me with my school friends. If I'm not interested in what they are saying, I keep quiet and just let my wander. I'm not going to fake it and pretend I'm engaged and hang on to their every word. They're probably not interested in my nerdy-ness, so I don't indulge them. I think not being yourself is one of the worst things you can do. If I'm sad or not OK, I go to be alone or to my mom, because I know my school friends can't console me.

[Eriana]

I am quite a convincing actress sometimes with my "other" fake kinds of personalities. I try to be myself but it seems like everything changes for me and it makes me change along with it. I have a lot of mixed feelings.

[Silvanis]

I try to be as true to myself as possible. When I feel uncomfortable I just withdraw and become quiet.

[Eriana]

I do the exact same thing Silvanis.

[oro!]

I remember when culture shock made me do that a couple of years ago. Just a big move, you know? I thought my world had ended, so why give anyone who I am?

Now, that's how I thought then. I'm cool now. I love to be myself. (which kind of weirds lots of people out) I want to be the salt and light.

[Eriana]

I guess I get it even though some of the wording was a bit difficult. ^^;;;

[oro!]

Maybe that's why most people go over my posts:they can't understand them.


To the post below:

Don't fuss over it, okay? It's just fine. I sometimes write a little cryptically when I talk about myself, so no wonder you don't understand.

[Eriana]

No, i don't mean to be rude or anything, honest! I just am not sure I quite understood all of it, but your cool! ^_^
Maybe I'm just a bad listener! ^^;;;

[Joshua Christopher]

Yeah, I'd say I act differently around certain people.

[Rita]

Most people don't realise what the true me is like. It sounds really stupid, but on the inside I'm really shy and insecure. But at church and around my friends, I've learnt to put on this fake me that is always happy and confident and outgoing. Most people don't even realise how insecure I get. I just smile and joke around with people so that they don't realise how uncomfortable I am.

[Eriana]

Most people don't realise what the true me is like. It sounds really stupid, but on the inside I'm really shy and insecure. But at church and around my friends, I've learnt to put on this fake me that is always happy and confident and outgoing. Most people don't even realise how insecure I get. I just smile and joke around with people so that they don't realise how uncomfortable I am.

Ohh, Rita! T.T
I know exactly how you feel!
I'm the exact same way!
*hugs* Please try to be yourself, okay? I would like to meet the real you!

[Linksquest]

O.o! I have thought this very thing myself many times. Sometimes, though, i can't help it... it just happens. Its not like i conciosly think, oh wait... i have to be serious here... not serious there. I think a lot of it (for me anyway) has to do with the fact that many of us have different personalities to begin with. When we talk about the "Real me" Many people describe it as somethig different than how other people see them.

For example... A person by themselves in the confines of their own room is probably vastly different from teh person out in public... people conform (consciouly or not) to the environment around them... to friends, weather, sounds, tastes, smells, etc.

I will be more serious with my teachers, because, i want to do well in their classes, and receive good grades. There are some teachers that i can have more fun with and joke around with than others. This is just a sense i had to learn. I am a very good "people person." (whatever that is supposed to mean... <<;;; XD)



I wish i could be the same with everyone, and i act differently with my friends than the person i think i really am.

Another factor is the "big Secret" factor. Many people have secrets in their family or about themselves that they dont want other people to know about. What may be a major event that is making a person who they are "really", by not reveiling this to others, a person feals that they have to pretend to be a different person (to put on a mask) and pretend.

[c-girl]

>"< I don't think I put on a fake personality. >^^< I just emphasize a different part of me around certain places or people. But usually I'm just the happy me. >^^<

[Yumie]

My answer is going to look weird compared to all of yours, but I've been sitting here thinking about it and this is what I came up with: People don't see the real me because I try not to project the real me-- I try to project the person I would like to be one day. For instance, maybe I'm around a person that annoys the snot out of me. I can ignore them and be mean to them and walk off while they're in mid-sentence, I mean after all it would seem that if that's the way I feel then that is the real me. But it's not. That's the OLD me. The old nature in me. But I'm a Christian now, and the old nature isn't me anymore, no matter how much it still wants to control me. So even though there are times that I want nothing more to cave in to it, I smile and nod and laugh with that annoying person. Because it's what the new me, the me that should strive to be led by my new nature, should do. I think it's what Jesus would do. Of course everyone in my family sees the old me more often then not, because nobody tries as hard around their family as they do around strangers. I know I definitely don't. But that's not what I want to be. So I think that maybe the more I try really hard to follow my new nature, it'll become more natural; so that's the me I try to let people see, and hope it works, lol.

(I hope that made at least a little sense.)

EDIT: Oh yeah, and about just the personality aspect of it, I think that the people you are with will bring out different aspects of you. If you are with someone who is really goofy, it might bring out the goofiness in you. If you are with someone who is really intellectual and serious, it might bring out that aspect of you. I don't think that's you being someone you're not, I think it's just an aspect of you being encouraged to show for a little bit.

[starfire]

Well said, Yumie-san! That makes a lot of sense! It's like they said in Batan Begins "It's not who you are on the inside, but what you do that defines you" So, I'd say that your new nature is becoming the real you after all.

[Maledicte]

My fake me tends to be a bit airheaded, smiling and laughing a lot and being goofy. A lot of times people are surprised by my serious self.

[agasfas]

umm.. .so-so

I am always myself, but depending on the people around me I don't talk about certain things I usually would. But no matter whom I'm around, my personality and moral stay the same. I'm a goofy guy who enjoys to make people smile.

People really don't gain anything from being fake- just more stress and insecurity.

[Eriana]

Well said, Yumie-san! That makes a lot of sense! It's like they said in Batan Begins "It's not who you are on the inside, but what you do that defines you" So, I'd say that your new nature is becoming the real you after all.

yay I totally agree! ^_^
I loved Batman Begins
but anyways, I am a totally different person than even the me am I am right now. I only show the true me is when I am alone and with God, besides that I would seem like a sassy weird kind of girl.
Just thought I'd give everyone a head's up.