Why would you get married?!

Postby **steelbeliever** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:01 pm

i definitely wanna get married...^_^...i would marry for love and companionship/friendship...i don't like to be lonely...T_T...i require someone to talk to...as for being a parent...i wanna have at elast one of my own and adopt! Yay! i always know that God has a plan but it's still nice to have dreams...

Postby **The Doctor** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:02 pm

Why get married?

So you can join the brotherhood of married men who weekly sneak away from their wives and grip and complain about the horrid hell they've entered, being tied 24/7 to that ball and chain.

:: CAA girls bear their teeth and aim their swords::

Err....actually marriage is cool. But I want to be the best man at my friends' marriages so I can have fun. Be the one guy who helps lightens things up. Hey, what man wouldn't want their crazy (and funny) best friend there when the entire wedding falls apart (groom and groomsmen oversleep from their wild bachelor party getting lost in the woods while rapelling, so they end up leaping into their buddy's jeep and speeding down the highway at 150 mph with cops in hot pursuit. What started as a normal wedding turns into something out of the Blues Brothers as the entire wedding party watches the news as the Jeep leads the cops on a high speed chase, with all the guys trying to change into their tuxes DURING the chase. Throw in jumps, stunts, and crazy turns for kicks as well. After losing the cops :: or so they thought:: the groom and groomsmen crash into the chapel looking like trash, despite their tuxes :: which are now dirty::. Before the parents of the groom can hang their heads in shame, the cops lay siege to the chapel and start firing, and the fun begins again. And I would be there to fire off the funny one liners and Johnny Depp-like reactions.)

Now THAT MY FRIENDS is MY idea of a wedding!!!

Well, that and the idea I had for getting married in a football stadium, with the New England Patriots standing at attention. And when you say "I do", BLAM! The Brett Favre delivers the kick off and then begins the SUPERBOWL!

Oh yeah...

Postby **Hephzibah** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:04 pm

animegirl1 wrote:-i know that god has a campanion out there for everyone and uc psuedonym u may not think it or want it but there is a girl out there for u ^_^

I spotted this, and I just wanted to add my 2 cents worth.
I do not believe there is a companion out there for everyone. 2 important reasons:
1) Paul never got married, and he certainly knew God's will for his life.
2) There are more women in the world than men. Unless we get into polygamy or ... other alternatives, there is no way (unless God suddenly makes men appear at random) that there is a companion for everyone out there.

And back to children... I'm not sure what I would name mine. o.o Haven't thought that far ahead

Postby **shooraijin** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:12 pm

KisaTohru wrote:ah, ic... ok... I've heard both ways, so I was curious, lol

I think they're probably getting at different versions of "complete." I agree with you in that people shouldn't get married expecting that marriage will somehow transform all the problems they had when they were single -- as we all know, it will only magnify them by cramming them into a tighter relationship. In that sense, if one is not "complete" as a single person and has not tried to correct their issues or at least come to terms with them before tying the knot, they're asking for trouble.

On the other hand, I also side with the Reverend in that there are certain things we can only learn from being in a physically and emotionally intimate relationship with one other person. And it may be more difficult to understand just how intense and close the relationship between God and the church is without experiencing the closest sort of relationship two people on earth will ever share -- the union of body, soul and lifestyle.

I can and do respect those who believe that marriage is not for them. I think it's wisest to recognize it and have strong, thoughtful reasoning behind it, however, because too many people make such a vow after having been hurt and swearing off the opposite sex forever, or state it impetuously as a demonstration of self-righteousness. On the other hand, it's a blessing and a true calling for those who believe that God has set them apart for no other, as long as it is not entered lightly. We are, after all, beings with physical urges and emotional needs, and we weren't wired the way we are for nothing.

I intend to marry for love. I don't want kids (I like kids, but I don't want any), or any of the other family-related reasons. I want a companion -- someone to walk together with in Christ -- as well as being a friend and a lover. And I hope that's what will be granted me.

Postby **ChristianKitsune** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:12 pm

Well IF if it is God's plan for me to marry I could totally see my self as a Soldier's wife.

I dunno why... but I think I could be totally supportive... maybe..haha
~~

Aside from that. I want someone to love differently than I do my family. I want a partnership you know?

And darn it all.. I have become such a friggen romantic in the past year. I can hardly believe that a mere year and a half ago, the mere thought of romance (good ones, not smut) made me cringe...now however....>.> <.< >.< I have changed...lol

Umm lets see... Of course I also want some one that I can care for and can care for me...

I want Gods will above all though.. I could grow into the old lady with all the cats that lives nextdoor..you know? Although that thought petrifies me..

I love people, only problem..I get skittish around guys... so IF I get over that...maybe there is someone out there..

I am not sure if I would want children though.. to be frank, THEY SCARE ME!I AM SERIOUS I am so afraid they will break or something.

I kinda want to wait though.. live a bit of my life before I settle down, Hopefully if it God's will get anchored in an art field, preferable animation or comics..

Postby **animegirl1** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:13 pm

dragonshimmer wrote: *blink* Because I'm in love. Why else WOULD most people want to marry? I guess there's a few more reasons I'd want to get married some day, when God has made it clear I've met the person He has in mind for me.

I'm in love. Not just loving someone, but being IN love with them.
I can't imagine my life without them.
I want to laugh with them, cry with them, work through life's hardest troubles WITH them.
I want to be the one to put a smile on their face and a song in their heart.
I want to continually grow in God with them.
I want to take care of them when they're sick.
I want to be the one they come home to while I'm cooking dinner for them.
I want to be there by their side and grow old with them. Should they fall severely ill and need someone to spoon feed them...I want to be that person.
I want them to complete me. I realize God completes me, but I think my future spouse will complete me in a different way.
Getting married IS giving up pretty much all of yourself...but if I I loved someone, I would want to get married to show them they're worth committing the rest of my life to.

Or maybe I'm just a hopeless girly romantic. *shrug*

I agree with what others have said. It's actually a blessing to be able to remain single and serve God, but most people can't do that. Marriage ISN'T for everyone, and I strongly admire those who can be alone.

My entire life I NEVER wanted to get married. Only in the past year has God changed my heart about that. Had this been this time last year, I would have said "I will never get married. I refuse." Now, I'm actually making a list of reasons I'd want to get married.

thats exactly the same with me but u put the words on a post first ^_^accept i havnt met the person 4 me yet *sigh

Postby **Maledicte** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:47 pm

I'm not interested in getting married. The idea sometimes pops into my head at random intervals and I explore the possibility, but if I do think of get married I don't have a specific person in mind. That being said, the main reasons why I don't want to get married are because I don't find myself completely compatible with anyone. Or perhaps I'm just picky.

And I don't like kids. Much.

For now, I'm more concerned with my current relationships--my friendships. If I fail in those, I don't see how I'd be able to deal with having someone in my life for the rest of my life all the time. Doesn't mean I'm not attracted to anyone of the opposite sex though.

Postby **Wild Eagle** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:24 pm

I would love to get married for two reasons:

1) For the companionship and friendship my wife will provide, and vice versa.
2) To have children of my own.

I can't wait to get married! It's actually one of my dreams in life, to be a good husband and a good father

.

Postby **DaughterOfZion** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:37 pm

if i was to get married it would:
a:have to first be in a courting relationship befo married
b:know its gods will
c:be true love
d:know he (the guy) will be true
e:companionship with a good loving christian man
an on the subject of children:all would be ADOPTED

Postby **dragonshimmer** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:41 pm

shooraijin wrote:I intend to marry for love. I don't want kids (I like kids, but I don't want any), or any of the other family-related reasons. I want a companion -- someone to walk together with in Christ -- as well as being a friend and a lover. And I hope that's what will be granted me.

Hear, hear! I do not want children either, so it's not a reason for me to be married either. I think one and their spouse can be something of a family without children.

Your answer is the short version of my very long one xD

Postby **Sephiroth** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:10 pm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to for, same basic reasons as anyone else. But being still single with more and more of my friends becoming couples (and mes still being single :/) I always get that little fear in my head that it might not happen. Not to say I gotta grab someone right away but... anyone else know how this is?

I know there's 2 kinda people: those that can live their lives single for God, and those that seek a partner :/ I reeeeeeally doubt I could handle being single for my entire life >_<

But... course all my friends say "It'll happen soon" to at least finding that person (and easy for them to see because they are at least dating!) but then again, my friends just say "patience" (hard thign for me to do) and pretty much "if you have it in your heart to find someone, God will provide. It wasn't put there without reason." But then I fearfully look at all the divorces etc etc @_@.... fears pile up... just gotta trust in Him more with timing and everything >_< Just... also don't wanna be say in my 40s to get married and stuff :/

i know exactly how ya feel Tenshi, its about the hardest think for me to deal with, my own fears & self doubts, as time goes by, wathcing all my friends in relationships & gettin married.. and when it comes to my life... i start to lose hope, i just find it hard to keep myself from that mindset.

umm oh ye, reasons for getin married.. similar to alot that has beeen mentioned here, to be with someone for the rest of my life, for love, startin a family, i've pretty much always wanted kids.

Postby **animegirl1** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:18 pm

ya me too having 6 sibblings did make me never want more than 2 but ive always wanted kids ...signs :when i was little was i use to love babydolls ^_^id carry one around the house (u guys prolly think im weird >.>)

Postby **starfire** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:33 pm

No, I don't think a little girl playing with dolls is weird. When I was a little girl, I almost never played with dolls. My favorite toys were stuffed animals and I wanted to be a detective. That was weird. :lol:

I think its funny that when you tell most people that you don't want kids, they're like "Oh, you'll change your mind one day when you meet the right guy!" I always think to myself, If it IS the right guy, won't he want the same things? I think for the people who are meant to get married, when the right person comes along, they'll want the same basic things out of life. How can two people become one when they're going separate ways? Just wondering if anyone else goes through this with well meaning relatives.

Postby **Eriana** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:17 pm

I really want children someday. I agree Starfire, when I was little I loved playing with stuffed animals, later on I tried playing with dolls but never got in to it. Besides, after a while I was sort of creeped out by them to tell you the truth. ^^;;;
I think sometimes if people don't want kids they shouldn't have kids, especially because they won't take care of them the way parents who want them do.
No offense to anybody who wants children, I totally respect your decisions, everyone is different and maybe your spouses won't want kids either.
When I move to Japan I was thinking about adopting a Japanese boy/girl.
I just have for some reason always wanted children, ever since I was about five. ^^;;;

Postby **animegirl1** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:28 pm

ur moving to japan too?o.o
ya ive learned that ppl who dont want kids shouldnt have em cause my ex-step dad had 2 kids and he didnt take care of em at all and he doesnt even come to see em anymore (note not my dad)

Postby **Tenshi no Ai** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:36 pm

Sephiroth wrote:i know exactly how ya feel Tenshi, its about the hardest think for me to deal with, my own fears & self doubts, as time goes by, wathcing all my friends in relationships & gettin married.. and when it comes to my life... i start to lose hope, i just find it hard to keep myself from that mindset.

Yeah, it's a hard thing for me NOT to think about. But still, knowing that I have the thought in mind, I KNOW that'll happen! Hopefully sooner than later >_<

Another thign I find hard to comprehend is the whole "meeting a person" thing. Sort of like one day you meet some random person, and voilla! You happen to be a perfect match! Well, as perfect as perfect can get, that is! I just find this whole thing... werid :/

*sigh* waiting for the day when I'll be in a mutual LASTING releationship... only once had an official b/f where it was nice and mutual and things went good... for about two months. :/ Everyone else that has liked me or me them has been one-sided :/ ...can't wait for the day when I can find That Person^^ It was werid, because with the one relationship I was in, I'm certain that God was telling me it wasn't a good idea to get close to them in the first place, which I did. I'm thinkign that if the person is in fact "The One", I won't get the same feeling of hesitation and a voice me my head saying "don't do it!" like before... I didn't listen though, which was my fault, and signed showed up that it wouldn't work v_v Finally... the break up! Moral? Always try and listen to that voice in your "head"! Or well... wherever it is :/

*cough* ...I'm done pouring out my thoughts v_v *digs self back into Shoujo manga v_v*

Postby **wilson1112000** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:48 pm

Well, the reasons why I would like to get married is that...

1) I want a woman that will keep me company.

2) I would like a woman that has brains and a heart.

3) Kids.

Now, yes the last one seems like what everyone else is thinking, but for me its so I can pass down the family name. I am the only male on my dad's side of the family that will pass down the family name. Alot of pressure. I feel like I should already have a girlfirend. I am 19 years old, and I havent been on one lousey date in my life. Yep....I am a genuine looser. *begins to pout* WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:05 pm

Kids a

Postby **wilson1112000** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:22 pm

Thats well said, Volt. Well said.

Postby **mitsuki lover** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:32 pm

I'm glad that animegirl1 loves the name Scott as that is my legal first name! :lol:

I mean it's a nice name.Although if I had a son he would be probably named
James since that's a family name.

ok now the only reason why I can think of NOT marrying would be if
I converted to Catholicism and entered a monastery.Well you can never
know WHAT could happen. :lol:

But seriously right now I would rather concentrate on finding a girlfriend and NOT worry about a wife until later on. :angel:

But as far as it goes,if I find a girl and she's something special and I really
love her like the way I love,say Kagome,then I would want to be with
her forever and that would be the main reason for me gettiing married.

Postby **Spiritsword** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:45 pm

1. It's God's will, His plan, and it's the woman He's picked out for me.

2. We love each other with a Christian love, and also with that special love God has reserved for husband and wife.

3. To be together with that woman who makes my life complete, accepts me for who I am, imperfections and all, and makes me a better Christian and man.

Postby **Myoti** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:01 pm

Kids are great at first... but then they start talking, walking, and getting all emotional from hormones and stuff. -_-

Postby **Kaligraphic** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:23 pm

I would want a wife to set over my house, and a son to carry my name and avenge my death should I be slain by my enemies.

Postby **Galant** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:49 pm

Wow, this is quite a question! I've been pondering marriage myself recently. Up until I was 19 I was of the opinion and decision that I would never get married. I saw no need for it and had no desire for it. Between then and about 21 years of age I opened up ot the possibility, and recently, at a time I have seriously been considering it, I have had to face all the questions and balance of my thoughts on both being single and being married. I can see advantages and disadvantages to both. As far as a direct comparison is concerned I came to the conclusion that marriage offers many more specific blessings than does singleness but it also brings many more trials. In the end, single life is simpler, that simplicity and the few blessings unique to it are very important to some. Others however cannot see themselves going without the experience of marriage, and desire all that is has to offer.

It's funny. My desire and prayer has been and was recently - Lord just show me your will and I'll do it. However, over these past weeks I've been coming more to the conclusion that God happily gives us a lot of freedom to choose our own path. Then within that He guides us. It's a tricky question and I haven't figured it all out yet.

As one who hasn't had the usual strong desire to have a family etc. marriage is not a foregone conclusion, yet to have a partner and enjoy that relationship would be wonderful. Ultimately, I found myself praying, "Lord, I want the most from my relationship with you. I want to serve you to the utmost. However that is best accomplished in my life, whatever will not leave me feeling I compromised, work that out in my life."

One last thing. More and more I realise that the heart of God is a heart of love - and a heart of love for people. To truly know God, to get close to Him, I have found many of my natural inclinations challenged - dislike of kids, a tendency to be a loner etc. Those people, those tricky, confusing, hard to like people are the apple of God's eye. They are His motivation, His desire. I cannot know God, or love Him, without coming to learn of and share His love for people. To despise people and avoid them is to put a big hurdle between oneself and God. We can still relate to Him, but we will miss a big part of Him. Simplicity is good, but when God created this earth and all in it, He did not create it purely simple - he added a touch of complexity. Love is a challenge. It is the challenge of God.

Regards.

Postby **animegirl1** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:03 pm

wow yes galant is right

Postby **Zane** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:43 pm

Rev. Doc wrote:Well as Jerry McGuire said...

She completes me.

But shouldn't it be God who complets the both of you, being one flesh?
The best, for the lack of a better discribtion, adhiesive glue.

[edit] I read UC and the Revs reply to Kisa. No problems here.

Postby **uc pseudonym** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:56 am

Scribs wrote:Oh, and UCs post sounds like the beginning of one of those romance movies where the guy says "I am not getting married" and then some girl comes allong and 180 minutes later they are either engaged or married. (just what it made me think of.)

I must admit that I worry that part of my wish to not be married stems from my fallen human nature, which wants to prove people who actually think the position you described about me (or those people that say, "Well, you'll find the right person someday"). The fact that I actually consider this probably says something.

Postby **Rev. Doc** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:43 am

I wish to clarify some misunderstandings that may arise from what I posted earlier.

I was not seeking to convey in any way that if one should choose to remain single that they were out of the will of God nor were they not "complete." One can indeed be complete if God's will is for them to remain single with a devoted relationship to him.

I was seeking to point out in my case, as in the case of those who God leads to wed, that one will not discover completeness apart from their spouse.

Again, it is dependent upon God's leading in the individual's life.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Postby **mitsuki lover** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 2:03 pm

For anyone who might have misread what I said,I was speaking hypothetically as
No I have not converted to Catholicism and No I am not in a monastary although
at times it feels like it!

Postby **Maledicte** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 3:27 pm

Kaligraphic wrote:I would want a wife to set over my house, and a son to carry my name and avenge my death should I be slain by my enemies.

You know, that thought is actually making me consider having kids.

Eh, they'll be adopted. That way they'll be indebted to me either way.

I'd rather adopt anyway, married or not (if and ONLY IF I could parent well all by myself). Lord knows there's too many lost and lonely kids needing a home.

Why would you get married?!

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