Physical Attraction in Girls?

[Destroyer2000]

One thing I find stupid about older people and parents...they think anyone who feels the way MSP does hasn't been hit with lust (want sex, since I've read some of you all's opinions on the word) or puberty. They are dead wrong. Puberty hits everyone at a different age, so don't judge based on your experiences. I've gotten to the point that at my school, any girl anyone says is 'hot' and most guys agree with, well, she's probably not virgin, and not someone I'd want to be around. Don't call me judgemental, either, because it's the truth. There are exceptions, but the preps, I doubt it. And I agree with MSP's point of view, though I do look for attractive features; it's human nature. I can't stand a girl, no matter how nice she looks, if she has the attitude of a rabid monkey, in heat, and on crack.

[truthgone12]

One thing I find stupid about older people and parents...they think anyone who feels the way MSP does hasn't been hit with lust (want sex, since I've read some of you all's opinions on the word) or puberty. They are dead wrong. Puberty hits everyone at a different age, so don't judge based on your experiences. I've gotten to the point that at my school, any girl anyone says is 'hot' and most guys agree with, well, she's probably not virgin, and not someone I'd want to be around. Don't call me judgemental, either, because it's the truth.

Uh, no it isnt. Not every "hot"girl is a slut.

[BigZam]

i think it is somewhat important but i know plenty of extremely beautiful girls that i would never go out with because of what they believe (I live in Mormonland AKA Utah....sigh) but personally for me once i get to know a good-moraled Christian girl i start to see beauty in her for who she is and not necessarily what she looks like.

[Destroyer2000]

I was talking about MY school, not this planet in general.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

[quote="Destroyer2000"]One thing I find stupid about older people and parents...they think anyone who feels the way MSP does hasn't been hit with lust (want sex, since I've read some of you all's opinions on the word) or puberty. They are dead wrong. Puberty hits everyone at a different age, so don't judge based on your experiences. I've gotten to the point that at my school, any girl anyone says is 'hot' and most guys agree with, well, she's probably not virgin, and not someone I'd want to be around. Don't call me judgemental, either, because it's the truth. There are exceptions, but the preps, I doubt it. And I agree with MSP's point of view, though I do look for attractive features]

thanks destroyer, he is right... i think its safe to say we ALL have been hit with lust

[Fsiphskilm]

Ldevelope

[mitsuki lover]

Of ocurse physical attraction is important,however different men have
different ideas(as well as different cultures for that matter)of what
constitutes beauty.
For example I think Kagura on Inuyasha is sexy.
And I am not saying that just because I am currently playing her on the
Inuyaha RPG thread either,I always thought Kagura was one of the hottest
women on Inuyasha period!
But overall I tend to perfer the girl-next-door type over some of the other
types.(E.g.characters like Kagome,Yuki Saiko from Silent Mobius,
Hinoki from Betterman,Kes from Voyager,etc.)There's nothing wrong with
any other type of beauty it's just the type I find personally most attractive.
Now is it wrong to put physical attraction first?
Well it depends.
If all you're looking at is the outer body and aren't concerned with what's
inside(her intelligence,morals,etc.)then yes it be wrong,but if you try to
see her as a whole person and see her looks as just the wrapping then
it's ok.

[ZiP]

I'm not gonna lie and say I don't care about appearence. I do, but still, personality is more important. As an example, I can't stand girls that wear goth clothes just to impress guys, no matter how good looking they are. As strange as it seems, I think that most of the time, the thing that attracts us to someone isn't their personality, I think it's their looks. But then why find out what they're like, once we pay attention to them. From there, it's a choice, you go follow your feelings, or you don't, and I personally don't want attractiveness to make me have feelings for somebody, without loving their personality just as much. It's a waste.
Hope that makes sense...

[JediSonic]

Since there seems to be some confusion over what is meant by "lust"..

"You have heard — the Lord says — that it was said: 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"

Notice that Jesus doesnt say "someone who isnt you're wife," he just says "a woman." When I use the phrase "lust", I'm keeping that verse in my mind and using it to describe a Bad Thing. Healthy sexual attraction falls into the Love catergory of my terminology.

[cbwing0]

so the question is: Does physical attraction FROM the PHYSICAL BODY matter at all? Does source 2 matter? Let us assume you do not know the girl at all

I have to say that source 2 (physical body) matters, and that it matters quite a lot. Inner beauty (that is, character, personality, spiritual life, intelligence, wisdom, etc.) is good. Outer beauty is also good]and [/i]captures your heart with her inner beauty.

Unfortunately the world has done a great deal of harm to the average conception of beauty. Beauty is defined in terms of make-up/plastic surgery, emaciation, a willingness to dress in practically nothing, and shameless enticement of men. As with most corruptions, these qualities are perversions of good qualities that actually do form a part of beauty. All of these qualities are based on the good desire to be beautiful, but they take it to unhealthy extremes and/or involve pursuing good things through incorrect means/motives. The worldly conception of beauty also ignores the fact that many different types of women can be beautiful, instead choosing to fit them into a costly mold in order to make money.

The often overlooked consequence of this conception of beauty is that many well-intentioned guys (as we can see in this thread) get the impression that it is somehow shallow or wrong to value and delight in beauty. If you don’t consider beauty in women, you don’t have to look any further than nature to see that beauty is a blessing from God, meant for our enjoyment. The “beauty is not importantâ€

[The Last Bard]

Yes.
I look at the physical appearance. But I'm not going to end up with someone just because they are pretty. Her beauty and personality will definitely need to compliment each other.

[Sephiroth]

i think it is an important factor, not the most important by any manner of means, but it is there nonetheless, bearing in mind that one persons opinion of attractive can be someone elses opinion of not attractive, we all have different tastes, ultimately the deciding factors are the more fundamentally important ones such as personality etc. but i think looks count towards your first impressions, and indeed sometimes things happen the other way around, someone that you never thought you'd date from a looks pwerspective as you get to know them their other qualities attract you.

hope that makes sense to people

oh and for the record i voted yes.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I think cbwing hit it on many of his points =D

[Michael]

I'm physically attracted to girls, and that's very important.


Oh . . . . you meant something else.

[Kaligraphic]

Notice that Jesus doesnt say "someone who isnt you're wife," he just says "a woman." When I use the phrase "lust", I'm keeping that verse in my mind and using it to describe a Bad Thing. Healthy sexual attraction falls into the Love catergory of my terminology.

He doesn't say "someone who isn't your wife" because it is flat out impossible to commit adultery with your own wife. If she's married to you, it's not adultery. Likewise, it is impossible to commit adultery if you are not married - in which case, lust itself is the catalyst for marriage. What he's saying is that a married Jewish man who goes out to strip clubs or the like is no different in his heart from an adulterer. Even there it only applies to people under the law.

If a guy has no desire to sleep with a girl, he should not date her, nor should they marry. They would lose nothing by simply being friends. Without the desire for sex, there would be no such thing as marriage.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

If a guy has no desire to sleep with a girl, he should not date her, nor should they marry. They would lose nothing by simply being friends. Without the desire for sex, there would be no such thing as marriage.

couldn't that sexual desire appear much later DURING a relationship? I can't imagine the desire to have sex with someone would be the main factor into getting married...

[Felix]

I gotta side with MSP right there. I mean sure sex is a great gift of God for couples to enjoy, but dude that should come MUCH later in a relationship, after marriage, it should play no part in a dating type relationship, God has made that very clear, it's great to wait.
I think that liking a girl because you wanna have sex with her is a pretty sad way to view it. I'm opposite right there. A girl you like should hold sexual appeal to you when and ONLY when you've been married, I mean if you think of her that way before getting married...what if you broke up or something? How would that make her feel if she knew that's how you thought? Plus it would be a blow in the face for the man she eventually marries.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I gotta side with MSP right there. I mean sure sex is a great gift of God for couples to enjoy, but dude that should come MUCH later in a relationship, after marriage, it should play no part in a dating type relationship, God has made that very clear, it's great to wait.
I think that liking a girl because you wanna have sex with her is a pretty sad way to view it. I'm opposite right there. A girl you like should hold sexual appeal to you when and ONLY when you've been married, I mean if you think of her that way before getting married...what if you broke up or something? How would that make her feel if she knew that's how you thought? Plus it would be a blow in the face for the man she eventually marries.

I assume it would be more of a "in the middle of a relationship" time...

I mean sure sexual desire COULD motivate you into a relationship, but I don't consider that to happen ALL the time... but don't guys have sexual desires like ALL THE TIME? We're like buff manly-men (or not-buff manly-men, such as kali lol)

[Felix]

I assume it would be more of a "in the middle of a relationship" time...

I mean sure sexual desire COULD motivate you into a relationship, but I don't consider that to happen ALL the time... but don't guys have sexual desires like ALL THE TIME? We're like buff manly-men (or not-buff manly-men, such as kali lol)

You nailed it. That's kinda what I meant. I mean it's ok, as the relationship matures, for you to be attracted like that to your girl...but if you lust after her o.O That's not...just not.

[mastersquirrel]

I would like to point out before I answer the question that it is a poorly worded question. If I answer it "as is" then there's only one answer.

Does physical attraction FROM the PHYSICAL BODY matter at all? Does source 2 matter? Let us assume you do not know the girl at all

From the last sentence in the question, the only possible answer is "yes", because you know abosolutely nothing about the girl other than what she looks like. It just confused me.

Anyway, I think that cbwing pretty much got it. Both outer beauty and inner beauty are a part of any attraction, though each person's attraction to outer beauty is different.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

no cause if you dont know the girl... then you wont be attracted to her....

I am not attracted to people first... then befriend them

I happen to befriend them, then grow feelings for them and find them attractive

[Nate]

no cause if you dont know the girl... then you wont be attracted to her....

Maybe not you, but most men see a girl and immediately go, "She's cute," or, "She's all right" or "She's not that great."

[Felix]

I understand Kae's point of view. My first instinct is to judge a girl I don't know based on how she looks, but I don't really think that that's fair. Like MSP says, an attraction to her should come as you get to know her well. It seems that liking a girl just because she's "hot" is shallow, and not really liking her at all, just liking the temporary body that God gave her to live in. I'm attracted to girls for there spirit, now I know many will differ, but that's just me.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Maybe not you, but most men see a girl and immediately go, "She's cute," or, "She's all right" or "She's not that great."

okay I take back what I said

i meant to say "yes she is cute..." but I wouldn't put that as a factor to wether or not if I wanted to date her

[Kaligraphic]

couldn't that sexual desire appear much later DURING a relationship? I can't imagine the desire to have sex with someone would be the main factor into getting married...

You can have almost everything else but physical intimacy with someone who is just a close friend. Would you say "I want to marry this person because, um, we should have a joint bank account"? Or "I want to marry this person so that we can be roommates"? What would be the point? No other significant concern really requires marriage.

Just because you haven't really felt it yet doesn't mean you won't. I remember being of similar opinion to you, back when I was younger, but when you do start looking for a mate, you will care about physical appearance. It's not a question, it's not in doubt, it is a certainty. That doesn't mean it's the only thing you'll care about, or that you will have impossibly high standards, but you will care. You were designed to care. God made you in such a way that you would care, and He intends guys to care.

Well, unless you're meant to be celibate and stay single all your life...


Here's a thought - would you date a girl who looked like a disfigured elephant? Say, one who weighed 600 pounds and had a face like a mule's backside? Supposing she had a nice personality? If not, you can't say that it wouldn't matter to you.

[Fsiphskilm]

And so

[Zane]

I vote 'yes', I reckon I'd be kinding myself if I didn't think that physical attraction isn't somewhat important. It shouldn't be a major factor in choicing a partner but the way our (guys) bodies are wired it does play some-what of a role in the initial first impressions stages. 'Anyone' would rather hang out with the same personality in a 'hot body' then with that same personality in an 'not-hot body'. I think you'd be kidding yourself if you didn't agree with that on some kind of primative level.
Wouldn't you rather have a pinic overlooking a beautiful lake filled with swans with the setting sun in the background etc then in a dark, stale, cold cavern? I think yes.

Naturally that isn't to say then one should discriminate our unattractive sisters in Christ (obviously this goes without saying) and spend more time after church chatting with the pretty ones, even though the scenery is nicer. But as a simple fact, God made us different looking, he also made us physical and us guys more so then girls, visually stimulative compared to ladies emotional stimulative. (Hence the fact why more guys have problems with porn then ladies). So yes... physical attraction does play some role,... but thank God that he does not discrimate as we do in saving us through Jesus.

[cbwing0]

Would you say "I want to marry this person because, um, we should have a joint bank account"? Or "I want to marry this person so that we can be roommates"? What would be the point? No other significant concern really requires marriage.

I would say, "I want to marry this person because I want to spend the rest of my life with them," or, "I want to marry this person because I love them with all of my heart," or, "I want to marry this person because my life would not be complete without them." I would never say, "I want to marry this person because I want to have sex with them." Of course sex is a factor, but it is definitely not the most important one.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think that love (not lust) is the foundation of marriage. Desire and passion are only a part of that.

[termyt]

Physical appearance definitely plays a role for me, but it's more complicated than simple beauty.

The girl's attitude and the way she carries herself are just as important as physical beauty. Personal hygiene and confidence (the way she carries herself - sort of like physical attitude) are also important parts of physical attraction to me and easily trump beauty.

Those factors together will get me to turn my head, but it takes more than those things to keep my attention. Physical attraction can also be easily trumped by spiritual and emotional factors.

[Destroyer2000]

Volt, you're still posting with the attitude that anyone under 20 is an immature brat. That's seriously starting to get on my nerves. Everyone is different, and you can't judge others based on YOUR experiences. People develop, both mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, at different speeds. Although I believe most teens are too hormone crazed to understand true love, that doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions. Keep that in mind.