Physical Attraction in Girls?

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Physical Attraction in Girls?

Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:23 pm

This is a poll for guys only after voting please state why, im curious to why you pick yes or no

Does source 2 matter? what is source 2 you ask? read the bold


So to point out, physical attraction is derived from 2 sources... from who they are inside, how they act, their attitude, their character. OR how they physically look on the outside.

so 2 sources (well the main 2 sources.. im sure there are countless other things that can also influence Physical Appearance, note that there are OTHER attractions which stem off these same roots)
Source 1 = Inner person
Source 2 = Body, as in how the LOOK at a first glance
Source 2 is NOT Body Plus inner... Body is JUST BODY

so the question is:
Does physical attraction FROM the PHYSICAL BODY matter at all? Does source 2 matter? Let us assume you do not know the girl at all


I know many guys are "wired" to focus on physical attraction as one of the factors in doing so.... and personally I am very against that... I feel that the media and society and all... kinda "got guys" into putting physical attraction at a little more higher priority "some more than others" to the point where it became a natural part of them... or they are just wired that way by God

I find myself very different in this particular thing. Either A. I forcefully objected to what the media shows girls as or B. I was just wired differently perhaps how God made me. Because I find myself to find this a VERY LOW priority...

Like... cause today I was in the car with 2 other friends (both Christian) but they were talking about "hot girls" and i was trying to tell them my views. and They thought I was just "hiding it" or whatever... My friend david asked me "If there was a hot girl who you were checking out, and she asked you out (assuming im 16) would you go out with her?" And I flatout said "no! First off a 16 year old shouldn't be dating! 2nd of all I don't care of she is hot!" They thought I was being weird or hiding or something...

I mean... to be honest, I would not really want to... date or seek an interest in someone who was practically deformed... but I tend to avoid those who many people consider to be "hot" by societys perspective. EVEN if they are Good at heart and a really good Christian. The girl I really like right now... is NOT someone who is "hot" nor "okay" I guess... honestly probably someone who would be rejected by society because how she looks... I find myself more attracted to "homeliness" rather "hottness". Why? Because of who they are (assuming they are a good person with good traits and is Christian)

If you feel that im bragging or anything >_> I'm sorry but I im not trying to. Sorry but... I just find it quite irritating. Cause many guys put too much emphasis on "hotness"... And even if they say "well yeah i'll put other traits into perspective but their physical attraction is important too" shows me that "physical attraction is around the same importance as more important things"

To me, a girls inner beauty reflects to their outside. But their outside does not reflect to their inside. Like lets say (hypothetically) That my girlfriend was really attractive... I wouldn't find it to be a "bonus" or anything... They would still be beautiful to me

edit: sorry if i happened to mislead people into thinking differently than what I was trying to convey
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Postby Nate » Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:35 pm

YES.

If you say physical attraction isn't important, you're fooling yourself.

A marriage is a strong emotional and physical bond between two people, yes. And that is important, and it should be the most important.

HOWEVER, there HAS to be a strong physical attraction as well. It doesn't matter if they're not attractive by the world's standards, but they DO have to be attractive by your standards.

If you marry a woman you don't find attractive, it doesn't matter how strong your emotional and spiritual bond is. It makes it way harder to remain faithful to her if you don't think she's attractive.

And yes, if you love her, if the bond is strong enough, you WILL see her as the most beautiful woman in the world. BUT, you have to see her like that. If you say, "She's sweet but she looks like she hit every branch in the ugly tree," you're not going to have a successful marriage with her.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:40 pm

woah I had a thought. Everyones opinion on attraction are all objective.... so uhhh

crud

haha
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Postby Nate » Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:45 pm

Mr. SmartyPants wrote:woah I had a thought. Everyones opinion on attraction are all objective....

Yes, it is. :P

But that objectiveness still translates to your wife being the most beautiful woman in the world.

It has to, or it won't be a successful marriage. That's my point.
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Postby Yumie » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:09 pm

Uh, I had a question but seeing as how I'm a girl and all I hope it doesn't bug you that I'm posting here, but just to clarify: When you're asking about if guys see physical attraction as a key element of a relationship, do you mean it as in like she has to measure up the the standard of what the majority of guys will consider attractive? Take any random young female celebrity for instance, and I garauntee you that the majority of guys will find her physically attractive. Is that what you're talking about? Or are you talking about the physical attraction that developes between you and her over time due to you coming to understand her inner beauty? Anyways, sorry, I just wanted to see if I understand exactly what you're asking. I'm interested to see what some answers you'll get will be.
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Postby Arnobius » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:11 pm

I think a relationship starts with some sort of attraction. I mean if you're repelled, it's not likely you'll seek a relationship. However, unless the relationship goes deeper than that mentally and emotionally and spiritually, it's going to fail.
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Postby Myoti » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:14 pm

Yeah, that about covers it. I'm similar to how you are, I think.

I have different views on what I think "looks good" than most other people I know, but I also what to know how their heart and personality is.
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Postby Slater » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:14 pm

Yes, cause God did make us to be attracted to others by physical appearance, but I don't think it's the most important thing.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:17 pm

Yumie wrote:Uh, I had a question but seeing as how I'm a girl and all I hope it doesn't bug you that I'm posting here, but just to clarify: When you're asking about if guys see physical attraction as a key element of a relationship, do you mean it as in like she has to measure up the the standard of what the majority of guys will consider attractive? Take any random young female celebrity for instance, and I garauntee you that the majority of guys will find her physically attractive. Is that what you're talking about? Or are you talking about the physical attraction that developes between you and her over time due to you coming to understand her inner beauty? Anyways, sorry, I just wanted to see if I understand exactly what you're asking. I'm interested to see what some answers you'll get will be.


In the car, my friends were naming celebrities left and right "oh angelina jolie is pretty hot" and I was like "ugh enough of this..."

I know a number of guys will like physical attraction from source 2 (source 2 = body) But I find that physical attraction deriving from source 1 (source 1 = inner person) is the only thing that matters.

I expect there to be a number of different viewpoints and such

AnimeHeretic wrote:I think a relationship starts with some sort of attraction. I mean if you're repelled, it's not likely you'll seek a relationship. However, unless the relationship goes deeper than that mentally and emotionally and spiritually, it's going to fail.


attraction deriving from what though? who they are inside, or their body?
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Postby Yumie » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:18 pm

AnimeHeretic wrote:I think a relationship starts with some sort of attraction. I mean if you're repelled, it's not likely you'll seek a relationship. However, unless the relationship goes deeper than that mentally and emotionally and spiritually, it's going to fail.


Lol, sorry to post here again without obtaining permission first ;) but I saw this and laughed because the one guy in the world who I think I would date without a doubt is also the one guy in the world that I positively HATED at first, ha ha ha. . . As in repulsive kind of hatred I guess. He's a totally fantastic guy, but he's loud and rather ginormous. So when I first met him I was like, "MAN, I can't STAND this guy!" But when I got to know him and his personality I found him to be one of the most awesome guys ever. And yeah, he's loud, but he's hilarious; and he's huge, but who really cares? So, anyways, maybe what you said isn't always the case. . . hey maybe we girls should start our own thread about this so that we don't have to keep intruding on da boyz thread. . .? I don't know if it really matters much to them but just in case?
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
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Postby Raiden no Kishi » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:22 pm

You know what?

Physical appearance is part of what goes through my head when I evaluate a person. No, it isn't the most important thing. But it is on the list. I don't care if you think I'm shallow, but it IS part of what I look at.

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Postby SP1 » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:26 pm

Yes, but it is a little hard to put my finger on (no pun intended) what exactly it is that I find attractive. It varies with the person. Saw a woman behind a counter a while back and she smiled at me and said "hey, dude" which was really an odd thing to say as I recall. Anyway, she had these really white teeth, pink gums, and the most evenly colored pink tongue I have ever seen. I thought to myself "My goodness, this woman's dental hygiene is phenomenal." I was smitten. Maybe she was a chobit.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:31 pm

SP1 wrote:Yes, but it is a little hard to put my finger on (no pun intended) what exactly it is that I find attractive. It varies with the person. Saw a woman behind a counter a while back and she smiled at me and said "hey, dude" which was really an odd thing to say as I recall. Anyway, she had these really white teeth, pink gums, and the most evenly colored pink tongue I have ever seen. I thought to myself "My goodness, this woman's dental hygiene is phenomenal." I was smitten. Maybe she was a chobit.


x__x wow dude, that was funny

i love you haha (platonic)
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:41 pm

Mr. SmartyPants wrote:x__x wow dude, that was funny

i love you haha (platonic)


Raiden no Kishi wrote:You know what?

Physical appearance is part of what goes through my head when I evaluate a person. No, it isn't the most important thing. But it is on the list. I don't care if you think I'm shallow, but it IS part of what I look at.

.rai//



YES! I KNOW! I agree

My QUESTION is... does SOURCE #2 MATTER? (read first post on page 1... the bolded stuff)
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Postby Felix » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:08 pm

I'm actually gonna have to go with no. Yes, at least some physical attraction is necessary in a relationship, I don't think it should dictate what makes a relationship. I think that who they really are is most important. I'd heck of-a rather have an average looking girl who's super cool and has an awesome heart than some hot babe who's a jerk. Not that there's not real pretty girls who are also awesome inside, and there's some that aren't great looking and also jerks. What I mean is that I think that a strong bond, emotionally and spiritually is what's most important. Sure a physical relationship is part of the deal, but it's love that will beautify them.
I try and get past girl's looks and look at their heart instead. I just can't bring myself to be attracted to a beautiful girl who's a snob. And there are quite a few I can name. I guess that's all. Physical attraction is great, but not most important, that comes later.

Edit: Source 2, eh? Yes, to a certain extent I guess I judge a girl by first impressions body-wise, as much as I try not to, its how God made me and I can't ignore it, but I find that getting to know their inner self makes them much more attractive.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:14 pm

also, please dont think im like "bah if you say source #2 is important... then you suck"

NO! Never! It's perfectly fine... its how you are... how you are wired. To be physically attractive. sure I may feel completely different but thats how i feel... Because we are attracted by different things, and maybe some people try to change themselves to be attractive to different things

what the problem is when that people focus TOO much on just source 2...

wow... source 2... source 1... i sound like some weird unloving guy doing research tests or something
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Postby truthgone12 » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:19 pm

ROFL you really sound as if this is an experiement made to show what boys' think to girls. LOL. *thinks*. HE'S A SPY FOR THE GIRLS! ELIMINATE HIM!
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Postby Felix » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:27 pm

Ya know I've heard of plastic surgery...but here it just takes one little click to change my gender XD;;
Hey I'm not spying. <.< >.> Ok maybe a little. Don't judge me!
Hah..experiments. YOu do sound rather scientific, MSP. But perhaps you should be. Spending time thinking about heavy stuff is great.
And I know what you're saying. ^^ Thanks dude.
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Postby Myoti » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:48 pm

Well, I typically won't be interested in a girl if I don't think she's "pretty" at first, though it doesn't mean I don't have friends who are girls who aren't as attractive to me. Plus, I sometimes suddenly find many of them more attractive once I get to know how they are (or, sometimes, find them less attractive...).
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Postby agasfas » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:12 pm

Iffy....

First I would like to address that personally I'm not attracted to girls only by physcial beauty. Cliche yes, but it's the truth Yes, many of the girls on campus are cute, and I can't deny the fact I do find some cute, but not in the way I'm attracted to (or interested in). Kind of hard to explain... To me, it doesn't matter. My friend in class always teases me and nudges my shoulder saying, "hey hey hey. She's a hotty huh?" I always reply, "she's alright," and just shrug.

In the past few years all my attractions have come from people I've gotten to know. Their character, personality, beliefs etc... That's what matters. Most of the physical attraction came (formed) later.

to a point physical attration is needed though. I mean, it's only natural to be physically drawn to your partner. But attraction is different for each person. What I find attractive others may not.
-BUT-
How they treat themselves is another way I'm attracted to someone. If they don't care for their overall well-being, then it's hard. I want someone who not only cares for me, but themself as well (vice-versa too). If both people are happy with themselves then the relationship will probably be much stronger.

For me, I choose "no" it doesn't really matter.

Oh and MSP, I also don't find angelina jolie attractive... Yuck.

*edited*
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Postby mechana2015 » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:00 pm

Yes I think it does factor into my analasys, like it or not, I have a fairly complicated algorithm of sorts that factors in source 2 as well as one... there are other factors as well, but your "2" is definately present.
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:11 pm

No ma
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:39 pm

[b]God D
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Postby Bobtheduck » Sun Sep 25, 2005 12:19 am

Short answer: Yes they matter. For me, looks are a big thing but they can be overridden, and my tastes don't fit societies necissarily... For one thing, I'm ALWAYS more attracted to girls with Glasses than without (provided the glasses aren't 80's giant glasses, gah, or those "wing" things...)

Actually, though there are some things that are not overridden by personality, a lot of things are... I'm normally attracted to light skinned, freckled, red-headed, tall girls, but if the personality fits enough, then she could be black haired, short, dark skinned, overweight, and have a strange shaped skull and still be attractive to me.

Of course, it isn't just romantic/sexual attraction that is affected by looks either... I could see certain people and guess certain things about them (seemingly arbitrary) and am often correct. It also affects the way I go into new relationships, speaking purely platonically (since I wouldn't get into a romantic relationship without knowing the girl a bit, you know?( And Yunie will get the final aeon, you know?)) Those things can all change once I get to know a person, but it is pretty much impossible to go into it entirely blank. Looks do matter.

Of course, I often wonder what my looks end up doing... I'm attractive, I suppose, to very young girls anyhow... Not to the age that I'm trying for... I look too young. It's genetic. It worked just fine for my Bio-Dad and my brother, who both went for young girls, but for me who does not want to be a cradle robber, it makes life hard... I don't think it's merely the looking young thing, but biologically, it's only young girls that are generally attracted to me...
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:21 am

I would like to clarify. Yes there are some "source 2" things which do attract me, however I would never use that as a reason to "jump into things" (even if backed up by other reasons)

plus im 16... so... uh.. yeah, no dating here haha
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Postby JediSonic » Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:07 am

I'd have to disagree with what i think Volt was saying in that sexual attraction does NOT equal lust. Lust is a perversion of that attraction, but the sex drive itself was given to us by God so that people would love eachother and get married!

The love 2 people share in marraige is supposed to be like an echo of that found in the Trinity, and that which well share with everyone in heaven eventually. God made humans attracted to what is beautiful (music, for instance), and he made women beautiful. This beauty gives them dignity as being one of the finer points of God's creation, as well as making it easier for men to love them.

As to how this relates to me personally, getting back on topic:
I'd say I look for both #1 and #2 in girls, and I'm 99% more likely to try and make friends with someone who only has #1 than someone who only has #2. I'm going to homecoming next weekend with a girl a year younger than me, who I saw #1 in almost immediately. I treated her with a lot of respect because of that, and as a result she really likes me now (asked her friend ot ask me to ask her out to homecoming). I dont actually see #2 in her though, and to be honest it makes this whole thing a bit awkward for me and I dont see myself having her as a "girlfriend". But she's still a really great FRIEND friend :thumb: So yes I think #1 and #2 are both important in for a relationship, and for marraige because there should be a physical union as well as spiritual.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:21 am

Lust simply means desire - look it up in an old dictionary. People have taken it to be a bad thing, but it's not. I may lust after a macho beef burrito from Del Taco, and not in a weird way, but just as in I want one to eat. That's a perfectly valid use of the word.

The thing is, physical attraction can only come from the body, because that's the only part of a human that is, well, physical. It's designed to be that way. It's not a flaw in the design. It's a feature, a good thing, an intensional part of human nature.

Do you not know that God finds you beautiful in his sight? Would you have him see you as ugly? Just because you are a spiritual being does not mean that you cease to have a physical body, and a physical existance. If nobody felt physical desire, then nobody would get married, they would simply be friends and the human race would die out. Physical desire is designed to be a driving force for marriage. (In fact, it was the reason for most all of the marriages in the Bible.)

Rather, my thought echoes Volt's when I think that you'll change your tune within the next couple of years, whether you admit it or not.
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Postby The Grammarian » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:38 am

In the biblical sense, epithumia, or lusts, are not so much "desire" (thelos) as they are INORDINATE desire.

As Calvin said, our sins often consist not in wanting the wrong things, but in wanting the right things TOO MUCH (inordinacy).
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Postby The Grammarian » Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:42 am

Oh, and as for me, source 2 just makes me interested in finding out more about source 1. But source 2 IS important.
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Postby Scribs » Sun Sep 25, 2005 11:19 am

Yes physical attraction is a factor, if I were not at all physically atracted to a woman, it would be a major difficulty in having a long serious relationship with her. This doesnt mean that "ugly" women will never have anyone fall in love with them. I think that almost any woman will be cosidered attractive by somone.
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