Discouraged but writing anyways ^^

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Discouraged but writing anyways ^^

Postby girlninja » Fri Sep 23, 2005 5:44 am

Story: Unamed

Chapter 1 Redemption

This isn't your normal story. But then again, I've never led a normal life. This story isn't about a hero and a heroine living happily ever after. It's not about some epic battle where everyone is good and no one ever tastes evil. Far from it actually.

This story is about blood, death and the ever present sin. It's about the evil that lies in mens' hearts yet they try and hide it , cover it up and pretend that they don't know about it. It's about the evil in the hero and the heroine of every story.

Actually this seems to be the story your not going to want to curl up around a midnight fire. This story does offer some hope for in the midst of tears and pain, it's a story, ultimately, of redemption. This is my story.

***
The sky was black.Rain, still left over from the previous night, trickled over the rooftops, making soft pings as it wettened the grass and dirt below. People kept in their homes and the streets lay bare. It wasn't safe to be up at night, not these days.

Kaori Hitori walked across the muddied road, shifting her glance left and right as she made her way to the tavern with no name. In all truth, it had a name once, a bright and brilliant sign once hung, but that got ravaged during a night raid, so no one really can recall it any longer.

Sweat ran down her neck and traced the curves of her back underneath her red and white kimono. Silk and expensive are not good combinations with mud and water. Her black hair stayed perfect, pulled into a bun. Careful not to smudge the paint on her face, she fixed that one out-of-place hair and opened the door the tavern. The smell of sake hit her full force like a tidal wave, nearly knocking her over.
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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Postby Esoteric » Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:35 pm

An interesting opening. Good visuals and atmosphere. I'm curious as to why you're discouraged... or is that simply the title of the piece?
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Postby Magekind » Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:27 am

I'm alive!

And hi all over again, Poof.

Dark, so far, but promising. Dark can be good.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby CreatureArt » Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:16 am

Looking good so far. I'm sorry to hear that you are discouraged, but I'm glad that you are writing despite it. It's a very nice opening.
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A sci-fi drama webcomic updating Thursdays.
PG-13. Rating description here.
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Postby oro! » Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:52 am

The use of the opening saying the reader will not be interested actually makes sure that they will want to read. At the least it made me intrigued. As usual, I want to find out more!
"I've learned when you throw mud at others, not only do you get your hands dirty, but you also lose a lot of ground." Ravi Zacharias
"Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig." Aleksander Solzhenitzen (so call me on it)
"Zeal without knowledge can lead to chaos." - Bob Rohm
"Why don't we love his truth as much as we seem to love his love?"- Cross Movement, in their song "Check us Out"
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Postby girlninja » Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:15 am

Discouraged because noone of my writing pieces ever seem to come to frutation nor do they seem to be any good and a bunch of other stuff in life right now..

awww *hugs to magekind* missed ya! Oro nice to see my loyal fan again ^_^ hey creature art nice to see you too ^^

***

The bar was full as usual. It was always full of renegade samurai, merchants trying to make deals and the usual women pleasers that offered their services. She scanned to room amid a barrage of catcalls.

She ignored them for the most part. THen chided herself, that was no way to treat the men.

She twinked her rosy lips up into a smile, her eyes glancing seductively to the middle table. A trim man, holding a katana winked back at her. He was lengthy, with disheveled brown hair and swirling eyes due to the bottles of sake on his table. His name was Yahama Tenshin, leader of one of the clans rivaling the Imperialists.

Around the table were his men. All carried swords and all were just as drunk as their leader. Kaori winked and savied up to him, making sure to go slowly so he could get a long look at her eccenturated curves and a waft of the perfume.

Yahama patted his leg, "How you doin?" Kaori smiled, "Better now," she stroked his face, "did you want me for something, huh?"

Yahama looked pleased, "Perhaps, I cud make it worth your while." She smiled, "Well that settles it then but perhaps I could put on a small performance." The men around her cheered, as they were eagerly listening to her, even ignoring their own women around them.

Yahama waited a moment, allowing his alcohol soaked brain to register what she had just implied, "Sure." He answered and the tavern cheered once more.

Kaori stood, "Very well." She started to undo the back of her kimono. The animal of men nearly attacked her but Yahama gave them a look and they backed down. Contenting themselves to drooling instead and taking more swishes of their poisoned drink.

She did everything slowly, the back of her kimono was nearly undone as it revealed that she wore a red form fitting shirt and some loose black pants. Strapped to her waist was a katana.

"Hey," Yamaha stood, "What is this?"

"This," She smiled sweetly, looking down at her blade, "Is your execution."
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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Posts: 388
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*

Postby girlninja » Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:45 am

Within an instant, it was over. Yamaha Tenshin scarecly cried out before staring at his own body on the floor, his head decapitated. Men stopped, unable to move. Kaori stood from her crouching position.

He was an easy kill. Didn't even have time to raise his sword.

She looked over at the other's, they merely shrank back in fear. "THis is a warning," she began, "To all who think they can oppose the Lord, Ieyasu Tokugawa."

She gathered her kimono in her arms, wiped her blade clean and carefully picked up the head of Yahama Tenshin, the former leader of what was now, a non existent clan. She smiled at the tavern, the air mingled with the smell of sake and blood. "Any takers?"

No one moved. She pulled a smoke grenade out of her bag and threw it to the floor. As smoke filled the room, she silently and quickly snuck out the door. She continued to run, up the wall and onto the roof, watching the commotion below.

"So..you did it?" A shadow appeared over her right shoulder.

"Yes, it was easy." She smiled, continuing to watch the tavern door.

"Excellent, pupil. Perhaps you are ready to know what it means to be Shinobi," the voice chuckled.

Silence; the shadow was gone.

She smiled to herself, "Perhaps I will surpass Shinobi."
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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girlninja
 
Posts: 388
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*

Postby girlninja » Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:07 am

Kaori leapt from the roof, landing on the ball portions of her feet and rolling them to the heels. Perfect landing: soft and quiet. She scanned the rooftops instinctively and habitually.

In the bush to her right, she found some loose clothing: black pants and a brown overcoat. Kaori smiled, she looked every bit a peasant.

She kept her gaze downward and started to swagger in her walk, nearly tripping over her feet. Men came out of the tavern, "Hey you!"

Her eyes rolled in her head, uncontrollably, "Yea.." She felt the floor nearly come up to meet her. "whatdya' wants..?" Her mouth hung open.

"You see another girl come through here?" one man, about five feet five inches tall, with spiky black hair pointed at her.

"Naw....I didn see nothin.." she started to giggle uncontrollably, bent over and vomited.

The men's faces screwed up in disgust, "let's go!" They ran down the street to the right. Kaori didn't look up as they ran off, wiped her mouth on her sleeve and ran into the tavern.

It was empty save the body. The poor fool's "friends" didn't even have enough respect to dispose of his body. She shook her head, "Should choose better company." She bent down, search through his pockets until she found what she was looking for.

A packet of five letters.
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
User avatar
girlninja
 
Posts: 388
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*


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