where have all the good guys gone???

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I totally agree with you Arbre, but for me I would want a girlfriend who is funloving as well.

[Todeskreuz]

yeah I guess that makes sense...some people I know do put down "blue eyes brown hair blah blah etc etc" and that's wrong....there is nothing wrong for having expectations...

[spirit-me-away]

There some things I won't change because I don't belive there right Like smoking drink drugs so on. I don't want to put my self in danger. Look's don't matter to me I've noticed that. I just like nice guy's that don't do dumb things I have alot in common with feel comfortble and safe around.

[Kura Ookami]

I have a girlfriend, however, I havent met her in person yet. But i did lower my own standards once and ended up with a girl who was definately wrong for me. I dont exactly regret that experience. I learned alot from it, but i also wish i had waited. There's no substitute for true love and if you do lower your standards you wont be happy. Patience is important. God is preparing both you and your true love and you two won't meet until you're both ready.

[cbwing0]

There some things I won't change because I don't belive there right Like smoking drink drugs so on. I don't want to put my self in danger.

You are probably right to avoid people who do those things in high school; but as you get older you may find that at least one of them isn't a big deal.

Smoking and drugs I agree with, since they are:

1.Expensive
2.Disgusting
3.Hazardous to your health, even if relatively small amounts
4.Designed to addict

On the other hand, drinking isn't that bad once you are of the legal age. The only things that could make a person hold on to teetotalism after that point are personal conviction or a subborn, self-rightous piety (probably the latter in most cases).

You're not quite that old yet, but it is something to think about for the future.

One should also realize that statistically speaking the average couple will have 10 things over which they disagree or that they dislike, yet cannot change. God will send someone better than you can imagine, but chances are that that person will neither be your opposite-gender clone, or exactly what you now picture in your mind as your ideal mate. Sometimes God has a funny way of leading you to what you knew you always wanted, but were too stupid to see before .

[shooraijin]

Sort of as a note on the alcohol thing -- my decision to avoid alcohol is based on the fact that I have a very weird attraction to it, and I know that I could easily fall into the trap of using it as an emotional anaesthetic. The few times I've tried it, my attraction to having another was quite unpleasant, and I did not want to become accustomed to it. I think there is a significant minority who regard alcohol as a temptation that would be hard for us to control, and so we stay far away from it. That might fall under personal conviction, though I would submit there are probably more in that general category than you assert. For the record, I have no issue with my parents' consumption of alcohol, but they know not to offer me any, either.

Anyway, that was off-topic. Guys do construct lists as well, and we fall into many of the same traps except they tend to be centred on physical appearance (which is a bad idea). I don't think that desiring an attractive mate is a bad thing, and certainly physical attraction is a big part of it (God made us that way). However, it's learning to prioritize it and realizing that one day that our attraction to them will be more predicated and most strongly based on our shared emotional intimacy, not on sex appeal.

[Doubleshadow]

I read a good quote once, though I have forgotten who said it.

"A perfect wife is one who does not expect a perfect husband."

A man said that. I found it depressing the first time I read it. I thought, "Man, I can hope can't I?" Anyhow, I have run into plenty of guys I would rather not ever met again who had an interest in me (nothing like a drunk hitting on you when you are trying to avoid them, sheesh), and I have met plenty of great guys. There may be more Christian guys around you then you realize. They may be shy, they may be in a spiritual dry spot, or you may have simply overlooked them becuase they don't look like what you were expecting. Don't be discouraged, God won't leave you hanging.

[agasfas]

"Where have all the good guys gone??"

*clears his throat*
Right here.

But seriouslly, I thought that many times about girls too. To put people on a double standard isn't right because I've seen many from both genders smoke, drink and boast about having active sex lives at early ages. Well, at least here in Austin, all of those things run wild and I'm sure Austin isn't the only place.

So yeah, I've thought those things many times too. Where are all the nice girls who I can relate to? Sometimes it seem as though everyone in the society is crazy. But I know God always has someone better for us we just need to be patient; as hard as it is. Maybe we need to find a new circle of friends or be willing to keep looking. Whatever it is, I know there is always better if we are never willing to "just settle" for anyone.

[Fsiphskilm]

You're g

[mitsuki lover]

All the nice women here are either:too young,too married or too both.

[EireWolf]

"A perfect wife is one who does not expect a perfect husband."

I actually agree with that to some degree.

I'm going to make a blatant generalization now, so brace yourselves.... Most women tend to try to change their men, to mold them into their own little vision of what a husband (or boyfriend) should be. Ladies (and I speak to myself too), this is not cool. If you love a man, you love him, not what you think he should be. Now, all guys have flaws and issues that should not remain the same if growth is happening. (So do all women, by the way.) But it's not our job to "grow" the guy. Let God do that part. You can certainly pray for him, but be sure you're also praying for yourself, that God will change the things in you that need to change (and there's always something).

I didn't mean to go off on a rant... but too often women expect too much from a guy. The opposite could be true as well, but I won't get into that. I think the most important thing I learned in premarital counseling is this: Let go of your expectations.

Does that mean lower your standards? NO WAY! Don't ever settle for a guy who God didn't give you. But once you're married, don't start trying to change him.

That's all. Carry on.

[mechana2015]

I fall under the "good guy" categorization made at the beginning of the thread...

[spirit-me-away]

I'm glad there's a good guy here ^_^

[Shadowchild]

heh... i thing almost all of the good guys went to the Army. i am so glad that i have a good b/f

[Lochaber Axe]

Lists have been refered to in this thread, yet really the most important list one can ever write is the list of their own sins. That is why that perfect mate has not come yet. Don't expect that once you master those sins on that list that he or she will arrive as swift as lightning, sins tend to need to be fought consistently and they always get reinforcements. Many sins such as an old addiction will have to be fought for the rest of that person's life.

Remember, marriage will mean that you will have to face the other's sins as well as your own. God won't give you that person if you can't handle both.

A few symbolisms present in the wedding ceremony that probably isn't mere coincidence:

The Wedding Dress
It is important for a bride or groom to prepare themselves as physically perfect for the wedding as possible. Take this and put it in spiritual terms, purify yourself to wear that perfect wedding dress/ tuxedo.

Giving away of the Bride
This is the most lovely bit of intellectual thought I ever had, and will shape how i think about marriage from now on. The earthly father giving away the daughter represents God as heavenly father. I hope that when I see my future wife walking down that aisle that I will also see God holding onto her other hand.


The time it takes for that "mostly" perfect person to come all depends on you.

[IZ&Trigun4life]

The good guys are all so far away...atleast from where I live

[Todeskreuz]

I totally agree with IZ&Trigun4life! or the ones that are close are either a: going into the army or b:too young...

[Azier the Swordsman]

Every woman I have ever liked has been one of the following:

-moved away

-done a Dr Jekkyl (sp?) and Mr Hyde transformation on me (IE went from nice to mean)

-has found somebody else

-turned out to be very non Christian

-is not interested

Shall I go on? I've gotten extremely burned out on waiting for the right one. So I quit. If she IS out there, she's got a heck of a lot to do to impress me. Cause I'm not going to be that easy. I'm going to VERY VERY careful.

Seriously, there are just no good women in Texas. *shot*

[inkhana]

Seriously, there are just no good women in Texas. *shot*

Why do I have the feeling that "shot" is what's gonna happen when Ashley sees you said that? lol

Anyway, since I'm here...:3 I'm no stranger to waiting around for the perfect guy. Like someone else has undoubtedly said (and I'm too lazy to see who it was ) just because they're a Christian doesn't necessarily mean they can be "the one." But those of you who are really concerned about it at 17-18...don't be. Now's the time of life where you should be really working hard and setting your life up, preparing your respective ministries and stuff. Use this time to your advantage, to help others and serve God! ^o^/ If you haven't met the right person yet, there's a reason. Just give your life to others in servitude now, it'll be good practice for when you're married (no matter whether you're a man or woman). My two cents, anyway ^^;; I'm glad God didn't give me someone at that age...I would -not- have been mentally or spiritually equipped to handle it, because starting a family is a huge responsibility.

[Rachel]

[color=darkgreen]Why do I have the feeling that "shot" is what's gonna happen when Ashley sees you said that? ]

And also all the other good girls who live here. XD

[Sonic_13]

Hah... I'm yet to meet a girl who's met my expectations. My expectations are crazy and reverse. People at school think i'm absolutely insane. All my opinions and interests are "radical". And thats another strange thing, I'm alone for the most part. But it's never bothered me. I bet this doesnt help at all, why am I even bothering to post

[Knuckles]

All the guys I seem interested in are either all taken or they're younger than me (or both) o.o -- I'd feel so uncomfortable going out with a guy that's younger than me @_@ Especially if I'm taller than him, too! @_@ (I'm 5'9")
But I really don't mind it. I prefer living the single life, anyway ^_^

[Christian_Shugo]

ive gave up to. on the perfect girl and im only 13 ,but my brother id the qoute jock and he always has a girlfriend and i feel like i have to meet up to him and im to shy just to go up to a girl and ask her out so im just gonna deal with being single.[i break out into song]im all alone theres nobody here beside meeeeee ,but you gotta have friends.[burts in tears] i always cry when i sing that song.[sniff sniff]

[ShiroiHikari]

Dude, you're only 13. Give it more time. You're too young to have a girlfriend anyway.

[Christian_Shugo]

Im not to young. Well maby a little. But my brother is in the same grade as me and i did like this one girl for 2 years and my brother is now going out with her and he new i liked her. hes mean to me alot like that. So right now i need one so he would back off.

[Shadowchild]

aww poor shugo... *hugs*

[Mave]

So right now i need one so he would back off.

I'm quite concerned about your motivation of finding a girlfriend. You are not your brother...and you don't have to do the same thing he does.

[Christian_Shugo]

at least shadow understands me.[hugs back] lol thanks

[Fsiphskilm]

[quote="ink

[Christian_Shugo]

i would but i dont have a GOOD pic of me on my computer my hair is growing out and it just got passed that to short but to long stage so if i did i need to take one recently. but yeah ill try it. but its not all about looks and i now im not my bro so i just got to accept it lol thanks all of you youve helpedme alot.