where have all the good guys gone???

[spirit-me-away]

it's sad really. All the guys I know and or have some interest in, Have either or do...
1) smoke
2) do drugs
3) none virgins
4)aren't christian

And I don't want to settle for some one like that. Sure there are lot's of guys i could date if I did. But I DON'T want to. Where have all the good guys gone?? Is there any guys out there who I have interests with and don't do these types of things?? I guessI just feel alittle sad about this. What has our world come to? Should I lower my standerds? will the perfect guy ever come along? Does any one else feel the same??

[Arnobius]

Well, there must be some out there, because they're wondering the same thing about the girls and asking the same questions that you are...

A pity it's so hard for the christian guys and girls are finding it so hard to find each other...

[Cognitive Gear]

We all struggle with this very thing. It truly is difficult to find them. Especially when you are looking. Honestly, I see it happen time and time again. Someone finally gives up, gives it to God entirely, then God brings someone special into thier lives.

Now, I'm not sayig you can't find them by looking. Just that God has someone in store for all of us. We just have to let Him bring them to us. and oh, how difficult it is to let Him do so in His timing. The loneliness is very VERY hard to deal with.

And never, NEVER lower your standards. God will bring him to you, in time.

[Stephen]

I assume D was suposed to read, are not Christians. *laughs* Unless you think its bad for the guy to be a Christian

[Shadowchild]

i wish guys wouldnt fall for that stuff. -_-

[Godly Paladin]

Where have all the good guys gone?? By your count, I'm technically a good guy. So we're still out there.

What has our world come to? A fallen state of sin.

Should I lower my standerds? No, no, a thousand times no! No compromise!

Will the perfect guy ever come along? Are there any guys out there who I have interests with and don't do these types of things?? The absolute best thing about this sort of stuff is that God is in control. He's got a plan for you, and He will bring someone into your life. Just keep in the Word and pray; listen to what He tells you. You'll find that special someone.

[Stephen]

i wish guys wouldnt fall for that stuff. -_-

Not to burst any bubbles. But from what I have seen...just as many girls struggle with the listed things as guys do. Keep your standards and don't sell yourself short. Keep waiting and your soulmate will come. Patience.

[Alice]

Spirit-me-away, I know what you mean. But the truth is, we don't need a "lot" of guys. You just need the one God has for you. You can pray for those guys, but don't lower your standards to date them. If you do, you'll look back with regret on that when God brings THE man into your life.

Sure, feeling lonely is nasty. But I know God has someone for me, someday, and I just have to wait for His timing with that.

[Kiba-kun]

this is a good Q. the majority(sp) of the ppl in this generation are into drugs, drinking, hitting on others and other stupid, pointless, bad for you life span stuff. jeez when i think about this kind of stuff i wish i was born like 20 before when this stuff wasnt that big a deal as it is now. it makes me mad that ppl cant be honest with themselvs and they have to hide their true self just to feel like they belong.

*deep breath*

ok i feel better. ^^

[dragonshimmer]

Never, never, never lower your standards. Never. I've been there and you don't want that, because it's a mistake. It's an empty relationship if you do that, and you wind up wasting time in most cases.

Patience and trust in God in this particular area is one of the things I think single Christians struggle with the most. We look around and see the world being happy, holding hands, walking around in heart bubbles, yet it seems like we can't seem to do the same thing.

The grass is always greener on the other side, though...

My guess is that you haven't found that person yet because the time isn't right. Sometimes I refer to this situation by using a baking reference. It's like when you make these amazing cookies. It seems like it takes FOREVER to make those cookies from scratch, then put them in the oven to bake, then wait for them to cool. Everything has to be done in perfect timing. If you rush the preperation process, you leave out an ingredient and the cookies are ruined. If you rush the cooking, the cookies aren't cooked thoroughly. If you eat the cookie before it cools...you burn your tongue and you can't taste anything for the rest of the day. God is making someone JUST for you...a fresh batch right out of the oven! It's hard to wait, but you can wait with the knowledge that when the both you and he are ready, in God's time, God will bring you together. I can assure you that there's a young man out there meant just for you who's asking the SAME questions you are. "Where is she? Why can't I find her? Should I settle? How long should I wait?" Have faith that he won't lower his standards and give up on you...and don't lower your standards and give up on him. He's out there. n_n I promise. In the meantime, pray that God will prepare you for him, and he for you, so that you'll both be ready when you meet. The wait...makes the prize worth every single moment of it. The person waiting for you at the end of the road with arms open makes every single trip, every single scratch, every single bruise you got along the road there worth it. Keep your heart in God's hands, and keep your eyes and ears open to His guidance. Patience, lovely. The Bible says that God knows the desires of our heart, and He listens when we pray about them. It just happens in His timing, that's all. *hug* All of the singles struggle with this. If you ever want an ear, I'll be glad to listen. You are more than welcome to PM me at any time.

[TurkishMonky]

I know how you feel, in a sense. There just don't seem to be very many godly guys standing up for what's right. I know i myself (although i don't fall into any of your four categories) don't always glorify God wholly and i've had times in my live where i wasn't living for God at all. However, just keep praying for God to show you someone who is living for Him.

The problem isn't only with guys, as shatterheart mentioned. I see the same lack of devotion to God in girls as guys (although it's probably more apparent in the male gender) Sadly, it's hard to find even girls in my youth group that are living for God...

But stuff like this deserves serious thought and prayer.

[spirit-me-away]

Thank you every one I'm starting to gain more faith that evenually he will come with gods help. You all mean a lot to me and thanks for you help.

[Galant]

[Syaoran]

All I know is that in my school there is only about 10 Christians and that is not alot...cus there is about 800 students in Howe Sound.

[spirit-me-away]

I live in a small town and there are a lot of people who say they are christian but they don't act like it.

[Joshua Christopher]

All of the good guys have been replaced with people like me.

[mitsuki lover]

It takes time.I'm 46 and I'm definitely still waiting for Miss Right.Some times I feel
like it won't be for awhile,but I haven't given up.For all I know my Miss Right may
still be in college.

[Fsiphskilm]

They're a

[Rachel]

Not to burst any bubbles. But from what I have seen...just as many girls struggle with the listed things as guys do. Keep your standards and don't sell yourself short.

And then because so many girls are, for lack of a better word, whores, us good girls lose out too.

[Fsiphskilm]

At leas

[Zane]

Don't go looking for someone, if you're on the 'prowl' for lack of a cooler word, you don't find what you're looking for. Usually when I lose something and look for it I don't find it until I just stumble onto it later.

That advice sucks. My first rule is if I can't see myself marrying her then theres no point going out, because thats not going to lead anywhere besides break up and will leave me and my sister in Christ with baggage and heart ache, unnessescarly. Question your motives concerning why you want a 'good guy' anyway (theres heaps around btw), thats my 5 cents, because being single is a gift from God to enjoy and use for his glory and service, instead of seeking out relationships (1st Timothy).

[Shadowchild]

you cant forget about the perverted boys. -_-'

[Azier the Swordsman]

I've given up looking for her by now.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I'm also single. It does get lonely, but its all in God's timing. When he feels you are spiritually and mentally mature enough He will provide.
God Bless!

[Yojimbo]

Just be patient. It'll all fall in place on God's time. We can't go looking around every corner for that person to walk into our lives it just makes things more difficult and we'll get dissapointed. I don't think that every person we think we might date is someone that we think we might marry. If you get that thought in your head from the start you are seriously setting yourself up for dissapointment. Valuable lessons can be learned from with healthy relationships good and bad. Doesn't mean we should settle for joe or jane schmo but I don't believe we should get the thought that we might marry someone so we should date them.

[bakura_fan]

I lowered my standards once and not only was I hurt, but so was he. He truly loved me...but I couldn't truly love him. So in that process I lost a friend...but neither of us would grow in Christ if we stayed together. It was when I gave up my love life to God fully that He gave me Micah and the promise of marraige in our future. Which we are both quite happy about. He's never had a girlfriend...and I had one boyfriend before him...only because I lowered my standards cause I was tired of waiting. God will let you go through the pain of your own mistakes...but if you can just remember that everything is in His timing, you can know that He is all you need at this time. He might be waiting for you to desire Him fully and trust Him fully before giving you you're future mate. ^_^ if ya wanna talk more about it call me or IM me k? Or see ya around later this week and we can talk then. Hope this helps a bit. Everyone here has said lots of good advice. *claps for everyone* ^_^

[Todeskreuz]

I know how ya feel...a lot of the guys just seem sold to the world....but so do a lot of the girls....the only truly awesome guys I've met have been in my youth group....and hopefully I'll meet some more along the way...I still have a long time to wait personally

[mitsuki lover]

From my own expierence I can tell you the best thing is to just relax and
have fun while you wait.

btw:Don't go out and make a huge list of what you expect Mr.Perfect
to be like.If you do 10 out of 10 times you'll just end up disappointing
yourself.Making lists can be fun and all,but also be real you aren't going
to be able to find anyone who fulfills everything on your list.In fact when
you find the Right One he may be the opposite of many of the things you
expect and would hope for in a guy.Remember opposites attract so dont
be too surprised that the right guy for you maybe just a bit different from
what you have hoped and prayed for.

[Todeskreuz]

I always thought the list making was dumb but some of my friends do it and keep telling me its the best way....*shakes head* so weird...

[Arbre]

btw:Don't go out and make a huge list of what you expect Mr.Perfect
to be like.If you do 10 out of 10 times you'll just end up disappointing
yourself.Making lists can be fun and all,but also be real you aren't going
to be able to find anyone who fulfills everything on your list.In fact when
you find the Right One he may be the opposite of many of the things you
expect and would hope for in a guy.Remember opposites attract so dont
be too surprised that the right guy for you maybe just a bit different from
what you have hoped and prayed for.

It really depends on the list.

I mean, If you have a list something like this

opposite gender
Christian who loves the Lord
respectful
honest
loves me
wants kids

It's not bad. And there are some things that really aren't supposed to be negotiable... and others that shoudln't be negotiable for certain individuals, if God has led you to it.


But the whole

green eyes
olive skin
brown hair
can benchpress at least 220
great cook
is also a fan of your favorite basketball team
at least 3 inches taller/shorter
doctor/lawyer/some other specific occupation
wants exactly 8 kids
trilingual
loves to travel to exotic places

thing can take the focus away from where it should be.
It's fun and maybe it's not all bad... just don't get attached to so many unimportant little details.

But to set up certain standards that protect you and will lead to a more stable marriage and life for you *both* is not bad.

Personally, I won't date a guy who smokes 'cause it grosses me out and I do firmly believe it's wrong and unhealthy. I don't want an issue like that in a marriage because I know I woudn't be able to tolerate it...

I'm also afraid of a guy who gets drunk. To protect myself and any kids I may have, I don't want that in a marriage either.

Same with other drugs.


I don't think adding "doesn't smoke/drink/abuse drugs" to a list is wrong. I think it's just a way of protecting myself.

And things like honesty and the others do, too.


There's nothing wrong with having set standards... as long as the trust is ultimately being put in God and not a list. That's not to say that God can't lead me to desire certain traits in preparation for marriage, though.