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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Mar 07, 2005 2:47 pm

This is a great example of good Christian manga. I really enjoyed reading the whole thing, Mave. :thumb: I guess someone had to go - poor Mark. >.>;;

Hm, for comments: I wasn't sure I understood how the whole church seemed to know about Francis and how Francis seemed so outspoken about not being a believer. I've never run into Pastor's kids like this. They usually hide their disbelief and agnostic behavior very well and play along with the church scene fairly well. I mean, I've noticed those who weren't saved and would grudgingly sit at the back of youth group, and hate the fact they were being dragged to church once again. But, I don't remember it being the talk of the day. I remember only a close few who would actually know the Pastor's prayers for their children within their own prayer group - such as, with the deacons or elders.

Anyway, I guess I've just never run into this type of incident and that kind of bothered me a little, however, that doesn't mean your story is not realistic. It only "bothered" me slightly.

I love each of your new characters. In fact, every one of the characters you've created have their own distinct personality and in that, I truly appreciated the story more.

I'd have to agree with UC's one grammatical comment. Other than that, and I wish I would have made a note about it, there was only one other place where you might want to re-word it slightly. The grammar looked fine. Your writing was great! The dialogue between Francis and Miranda I thought was believable.

Artwise, you honestly get better and better. :thumb: :rock:

Hm, what else? Inking, backgrounds, screen tones have improved throughout the course of this manga.

Alright, I can't wait to find out what happened to dad. ^_____^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Mangafanatic » Mon Mar 07, 2005 3:02 pm

You're lucky to have never witnessed that kind of hypocracy, Chloe. I've only seen it from a distance, but it's so sad.

I witnessed an event almost EXACTLY like this, actually. My cousin (the one who's sort of being a rebellious idiot) had a pack of the people from his father's church on his case quite constantly. They picked on him because the sweetest girl in the church was in love with Adam [cousin's name], and that meant she wouldn't marry any of their boys. They picked on him because he wore jewelry (manly jewelry, mind you). They pretty much tore him apart. I think it's part of the reason he's doing what he's doing. To me, it was painfully realistic.

I guess it just varies by situation.
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.

Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.

But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Mon Mar 07, 2005 4:06 pm

wow~ excellent job, Mave. really. I loved it and I can't wait to find out what happened to Pastor Mark. the dialogue was good and of course the art was fantastic :]
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Postby Cap'n Nick » Tue Mar 08, 2005 7:34 am

Just finished Chapter 4. Very nice! Some thoughts:

I like how you portrayed Francis' disbelief. It's very realistic and exploring it could be very educational to Christian readers such as myself.

Pastor Mark's death(?) is going to make this a ton more complicated, isn't it :grin:

Cross laser eyes! Hahaha! I can just imagine it when Christian manga gets bigger in addition to chibis and sweatdrops and all of those other iconic manga things we'll have a whole new set of symbols like this.
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Final Chapter! \(*0*)/

Postby Mave » Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:43 pm

Finally!

I'll comment a little bit more on it later on. Right now, the bed beckons me. ZZZZZZZZ

Home Chapter 5
http://www.kcome.net/home/manga/chap5/home5.html
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Postby Hephzibah » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:34 am

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
*runs off to read it*

:hug: I love you Mave!




Edit:
.....
:waah!: :waah!: :waah!:
Well Mave, I've never cried reading a webcomic/manga before... but that's now no longer true *grabs tissue*

Btw, I'm just a bit curious... how will the Home storyline and Kingdom Come's meet? I'm thinking that it might be that

[SPOILER] Kim will start going to Francis' church... am I right? [/SPOILER]
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Postby Warrior 4 Jesus » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:56 am

Great stuff Mave! Well done!
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Postby Shao Feng-Li » Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:12 am

That was so awosme Mave! Finally! xp

AARGH! I'm so lazy!
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Postby Mangafanatic » Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:35 am

Excellent! You did awesome, Mave! I love it!
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.

Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.

But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:21 am

Francis looks so cute when he's older. ^_____^ *heeheehee*

This was a great ending, Mave. And, you said there was no romance? It was the perfect love story. ;)

I hope you're finally getting some sleep. :hug: Good stuff. :thumb:

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:39 am

Yay! That was good ^_^
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Postby TheMelodyMaker » Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:38 pm

I've never posted here before, but I have been keeping up with this one for a while. The whole thing looks great, Mave -- good story. :thumb:
[color=RoyalBlue]@)}~`,~ [/color]Carry this rose in your signature as thanks to Inkhana, for all she has done for us in the past.Even though she is no longer a moderator, she has done an awful lot for us while she was and she deserves thanks. ^_^
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Postby Mave » Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:33 pm

X333 Thanks everyone for your support with this particular title! Pls feel free to give me advise and feedback for future titles. I'm just thankful to God that I managed to complete a series, even if it was a short one.

I'll be focusing on KCome (which is undergoing a major revamp) and will take on an additional unrevealed project. I've generally learnt that I cannot handle too many projects at the same time if I want to be more regular with my updates.

I had a lot of fun with Home and yes, to answer some questions, these characters will be carried on further into KCome. ^__^ That's why it's a side-story.
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Postby inkhana » Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:53 pm

I finally read it all from start to finish...XD *can't keep up well* But I think it came out great, Mave! Great work!


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby mechana2015 » Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:56 pm

Mave.... wow. Very awesome. Beautiful ending really, very nice.
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Postby Kireihana » Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:43 am

Aw Mave, it was so good!!

I must admit that usually I find Christian-oriented entertainment... well, sappy, but this wasn't! (and KCome isn't either). You did a really good job of making such a meaningful lesson seem so realistic and um, well I can't describe it, but it wasn't preachy, you know? It was just right. Can't wait for more Kingdom Come!
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Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Jul 26, 2005 1:07 pm

I did think this was a decent ending. The time gap made things much more believable, so that things didn't seem unrealistically sudden. In any case, I basically like the inclusion of Mark's cellmate. All in all, it was a good resolution to the sidearc. Now I'll be curious as to the characters' appearances later on in KingdomCome.
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Postby Mave » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:01 pm

:sweat: To tell the truth, Kireihana, I'm lousy at preaching. I tend to rely on life applications and personal experiences.

I know I left out a lot of details in the timegap but I figured that most of you would be able to figure it all out. It's very strange how this story turned out in the end. Admittedly, I'm not organized when it comes to scripting. I've made so many changes to the original story that I had no idea it would end up focusing on the relationship between Francis and his father.

But all in all, I'm pretty contented that I managed to complete the series. I now have to go figure out how these characters fit into KCome (I told you I haven't had everything figured out yet!) LOL

Thanks to everyone who read this and gave your valuable feedback/comments. It was a lot of work but it was fun at the same time. May it serve as a stepping stone to future undertakings. ^____^
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Postby Hephzibah » Mon Aug 01, 2005 8:51 pm

MAVE! The new layout looks amazing! XD :hug:

... btw, on the welcoming page, who are those other two characters? The blondie and the red-head? XD hehe I'm always trying to get top-secret info out of you... hasn't worked once, but I might as well keep trying! :P
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Postby Pepper Kittie » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:34 pm

Mwweee! I agree with Talame - the new layout is awesome! Really clean and easy to navigate, and really pretty too ^__^ I've never said it (I need to post on CAA much more XD I'm such a slacker...) but I've read through all of Home and I think you did a wonderful job! I almost cried. The ending was very powerful, and I want to get some of my friends to read it too. Thank you so much for the great manga ^^
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Postby The Grammarian » Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:54 pm

I liked Home quite a lot, but if I may offer some criticism, I think the ending seemed somewhat rushed by the time gap.
To all, life thou givest, to both great and small.
In all life, thou livest, the true life of all.
We blossom and flourish as leaves on a tree
And wither and perish, but naught changeth thee.

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Postby Gypsy » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:06 am

The new layout looks awesome, Mave!
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Postby Yumie » Wed Aug 03, 2005 9:59 am

Wow, you're such a great artist, Mave! ^.^ It makes me so green with envy. . . I can't draw worth a flip. The story was great, I liked how it wasn't the preaching that led the rebels to look for salvation, but the characters acting on God's Word and his leading. I can not tell you how much I hate it when, in Christian fictions, everybody is perfect and the only mistake the non-believer has ever made is not accepting Christ. That's not real life, people aren't like that! Anyhow, suffice it to say that I appreciate that you weren't afraid to make real characters.

The only thing I have to offer by way of constructive criticism is the fact that we really don't know how Francis accepts God. I mean, we can assume that in the years that have passed since the grave scene his father's life influenced him in his descision, but it's not very fluid in the sense that the last time as a teenager we see him he's telling God that he's just not real to him and then suddenly he's a Christian pastor. It still totally works for me, but it might be nice to see some kind of detail into his descision.

Anyways, GREAT job! Keep up the good work! ;)
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:49 pm

I love your new layout Mave. You did a great job on it! ^_____^/

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Ryupower » Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:30 pm

I LOVE IT!!!!
KEEP IT UP!
( and I need to get to work too...-.-;;)
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Postby Ryupower » Sat Mar 11, 2006 4:29 pm

oh yeah, and it landed in bookmarks! ^^
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Postby Mave » Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:22 am

Thank you, Ryupower. This particular series has ended but I certainly will carry on with KCome and some other side-stories, God willing. *nods*
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^^

Postby dduk » Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:47 pm

ahh.. it's been awhile where i sat and read a story all in one sitting =))

that was an awsome story and a very good read^^

great job!
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:55 am

Mave, if you will (and havent dont so already) check your kcome@hotmail.com email? I sent something to you.
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Postby uc pseudonym » Sun Jul 02, 2006 5:42 pm

Mave just moved, and last I heard (several days ago, now) she was without her internet connection. I have no idea, and she probably has about the same, when she will get access. When she does, I doubt she'll check CAA, but chances are that she will check her e-mail.
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