Poem "The Lost Knight"

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Poem "The Lost Knight"

Postby Cinra » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:36 pm

The Lost Knight

A strong warrior once wore heavy armor,
Able to bear the weight.
There were many battles,
All that he could face.
It kept him safe from many dangers,
Though he could not anticipate,
He was not fighting strangers,
But those so close it sealed his fate.
Long have the battles been over,
Yet still a lingering war,
Within the armor of this poor fighter,
Who is unable to tell,
Stuck in the armor,
Inside the past,
Darkness overcoming,
Depression vast,
The dark side shone through,
A dense mind that lasts,
Living in the world completely detached.
His defense became his enemy,
He cannot leave this place,
Lost and starving for love,
Now it is displaced,
The light cannot shine through,
His memory erased,
Faded away into nothingness,
Now he lives disgraced.

“And if we think that our present service for him is hard, just remember that some day we are going to sit with him and rule with him. But if we give up when we suffer, and turn against Christ, then he must turn against us.â€
User avatar
Cinra
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:52 pm
Location: Washington state

Postby Rachel » Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:41 pm

This is good. I really like your writing.
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
User avatar
Rachel
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:00 am
Location: Wichita Falls, Texas

Postby Photosoph » Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:20 pm

Very deep; I like concept of the armour being no longer a defence but more like a prison.
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Icarus » Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:23 pm

Hi. I've not seen you around before, so welcome to the Alliance.

I noticed in this one and your other poem that the rhyme scheme falters for a bit in the middle, but comes together at the end. Mostly, it's ABCB, but here:
Long have the battles been over,
Yet still a lingering war,
Within the armor of this poor fighter,
Who is unable to tell,
Stuck in the armor,

you stretch it to almost ABCDB.

It's a good message, and aside from that bobble, not a bac poem.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 299 guests