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Aww! Banana-chan, you're so smiley! You're too cute to be goth. ^.^ *puts stamp of cuteness on Banana-chan's head* The clothes look great on you though.
Most people who know me now can't imagine me as the person I was a few years ago.
I was consumed by angst and hatred, and so I was easily drawn to the goth philosophy. I'm not talking about the clothes, I'm talking about the mindset: the belief that nothing matters, life is hopeless, no one loves me, I hate everything, I want to kill myself, I want to kill everyone.
Eventually I had to choose. My Christianity, or my sinful nature. The way of the light, or the path of darkness. Mercy or the vengeance I wanted so badly. The lies that I was told or everything I knew to be true.
I struggled for a long time until I finally faced the truth and did what needed to be done. I gave it up, and along with my image, my heart changed.
I stopped being so introverted, quit wearing a million layers of black in 100-degree weather, and tried to make some friends. I'm still working on correcting the vacant stare.
I am so used to it that sometimes I stare without realizing it...one time I was thinking about something and a little girl came up to me and said, "You scare me..."
It kind of hurt my feelings but my mom said that it really is scary when I stare into space like that. o_O Usually my face was hidden under my black hood, though.
So I'm no longer just "the grim reaper"...I have a name now, and I like it. Madeline. That's why I chose to make my real name my username. I love my name. I'm not any of the things I've been called by people in the past. I'm just...Maddie-riffic! ^_____^
I don't claim to know who I am yet, but I know now that I'm not goth. My faith demands that I be something different.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to try and be anyone's Holy Spirit. You know in your heart who you are in Christ, and if you are truly a goth then that's cool with me.