Paranoia, Confusion, Personal Issues. suggestions/comments are very welcome.

[Starfire1]

like the thread title says im feeling very confused and kinda paranoid. this might sound silly but im gonna say it anyway. yesteday i went out and picked up the new good charlotte cd (the one w/ "we believe" on it. i decided to try something new and i figured that with christian members in it it wouldnt be all dark and with a "death and darkness, everything sucks" tone to it) and took it home and listened to it and liked it but by the end i felt so incredibly depressed. i felt, almost physically, weights on my heart and spirit and something in the room just DID NOT feel right. at all. so i stopped the cd and prayed about it till i felt tears down my face and everything felt right again. i'd like to tell someone close to me about it like my mother. but i think the reason im having such trouble speaking up about this (or anything else that bothers me) is because im so close to her. she's already asked if it was devil music and why i would wanna listen to something like "the world is black". that just adds to the difficulty of telling her. to acknowlegde that it did end up bothering me (though i DO NOT believe its devil music) i wanna play it again but i dont wanna find out if those same feelings surface again. maybe im incredibly paranoid. i also prayed for courage to speak up and just do it and tell my mom. the next morning when i woke up i felt kinda drawn to open my bible and i opened it to Ezra 10:4 and it said something along the lines of have courage and go do it. i still havent said anything but im trying to build up any courage in me to go say something. i realize this sounds kinda trivial and paranoid (i told u im paranoid) but i needed to get it off of my chest. comments are EXTREMELY WELCOME. thanks for reading guys.

[Zilch]

First off, if a CD depresses you, get rid of it. Simple as that. There's no reason in the world for you to be depressesed due to music (unless you're some scientific research subject or something.Goverment's kinda weird like that). But anyway, the rest is up to you, whether you tell your mom or not is your decision. Personally, I would tell her, simply because parents have stores of God-given wisdom...much better than any board monkey like me can give.

[holysoldier5000]

First off speak with your parents. That it the best thing you can do. Second speak with your pastor. Head their words. You may not like what they have to say but what they tell you will be for your own good, for they will try to help you do what is right and what is best.

[dragonshimmer]

I think people can forget how influential music can be. Not necessarily our actions...I'm not opening that can of worms, but music has a HUGE influence over how we feel. Music is raw emotion written into chords and harmonies and melodies. I can feel perfectly fine, but if I pop in a song that deals with being alone and no one understanding and wishing to never know anything at all....then I'm going to get a little depressed. You just kind of have to be careful about what you listen to and when, sometimes. If you feel personally convicted about the music you listen to, then you should think about it. But like Zilch said...if something makes you feel that bad, sweetie, just leave it alone. It's good to listen to music that touches your heart...that's what it's for, but if it's going to break you down, then it's not worth it. You should be a happy Starfire! *hugs* Just do a lot of praying, and really...try opening up to your parents about it. You'd be surprised how understanding and smart they can be sometimes

[Zilch]

And DragonShimmer would know...she's 100!

*coffcoff* Not to break the serious mode of this thread, just thought I'd lighten it slightly...

[holysoldier5000]

This might help.

Read Ephesians 6:10-13

Each Christian, facing the personal world in which he lives, is given the mop of truth and told to use it. But we can only help in that world if we have enough intelligence to conquer first the evil which is pouring into our own hearts from these present rulers of world darkness. That is exactly what the apostle is urging. We can be of no possible help in the solutions of world problems as long as we remain part of the problems. Therefore, this whole passage is designed to awaken us and to call our attention to the need for understanding the nature of our problem. We have already seen that the devil attacks humanity in two ways -- directly and indirectly.

The direct attack, involving an obvious and outright control of human personality, though it is the most dramatic, is the least dangerous of the forms the devil employs. There are relatively few in this world who are demon-possessed, though there are some. But it is through the indirect attack that most of the damage is done. As we saw, it is largely through the channels of the world and the flesh that the devil makes his attack upon human life. The world is human society, blindly and universally accepting false values, shallow concepts and insights and deluded ideas of reality, as well as almost desperately insisting upon conformity to those standards and insights. The flesh is that inward urge within us toward total independence, toward being our own little gods and running our worlds to suit ourselves. It is that continual drift within us toward self-centeredness and selfishness.

You can see immediately how universal this is. Is there anyone who has never had this problem? Obviously this is the main battlefield where we fight against these world rulers of present darkness. This is not something remote from us, nor something which occasionally comes to a certain few Christians. This is a battle in which we are all engaged, every moment of our lives. We will never conquer in it unless we understand that and see it not as something reserved for Sundays, but something in which we are involved Mondays through Saturdays as well. The flesh, this inner arena of battle, accompanies us everywhere we go. We cannot escape it, we cannot run away from it, we cannot go back to mother, and leave it behind. Therefore, we must begin our battle at this point.

But someone says, "I thought that when one became a Christian, Christ set you free from the kingdom of Satan. The devil can no longer touch you." Is that your concept of the Christian life? Nothing could be more shallow, incomplete, and wrong! When you become a Christian the battle only begins. That is when it starts. It is true the devil can never totally defeat a Christian. Those who are genuinely the Lord's, who are born again, who have come into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, are delivered from total defeat. We do not hesitate to emphasize that. The devil can never get us back into the position of unconscious control which he once exercised over us, as he does over the rest of the world. But he can demoralize the Christian. He can frighten us, he can make us miserable, he can defeat us in many ways. He can make us weak and therefore barren and unfruitful in the things of God. It is quite possible to be more unhappy and miserable as a Christian than you ever were before you became a Christian, at least for periods of time.

The devil is especially interested in defeating Christians. After all, the unredeemed worldling is not problem to the devil. As Jesus put it, "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace," (Luke 11:21 RSV). All the quite sincere but rather pathetic efforts of worldlings to solve the problems of their lives through legislation, education and a change of environment do not bother the devil in the least. He is quite content to let them go on rearranging the pieces of the puzzle without ever solving it. But the presence of every Christian in this world bothers the devil greatly. Why? Well, because each Christian is a potential threat to the solidarity of the devil's kingdom, to his rule over the rest of mankind.

If the devil lets the Spirit of God have his way, any individual Christian, without exception, would be a powerful force to destroy the devil's kingdom of darkness. Each Christian would be to others a door of escape out of the unconscious control of these world rulers of present darkness. Every Christian would be a corridor of liberty, a center of light, dispelling the darkness and ignorance of the world around him. The devil cannot let that happen if he can help it. So he attacks the Christian, especially and particularly. He marshals all his forces against you, coming sometimes as a "roaring lion" (1 Peter 5:8), in some catastrophic circumstance which seems to knock you off your feet so that you cannot stand, or coming as an "angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14), alluring appealing, offering something that seems to be just the right thing for the right moment. The devil takes over in direct control of human life whenever he can. Thus we find men like Hitler arising on the world scene from time to time, demonic men, motivated by strange and unexplainable passions. Sometimes he assails us through the world, with its monstrous pressure to keep in line, not to be different, and its ostracism of those who attempt to swim against the stream. But most often the devil comes in disguise, through the channel of the flesh -- our inner selves -- with silken, subtle, suggestive wiles. That particularly is what the apostle is warning against -- the wiles of the devil. We must now take a closer look at this flesh within us:

According to the Bible, the flesh, in this symbolic sense, is identified with the body which ultimately dies. In Romans 8 the apostle says, "The body is dead because of sin," (Romans 8:10). We would say, "The body is dying because of sin," but the apostle looks on to the end and says that it is as good as dead already. We all agree with this. We all must die, we say. In this temporary state before the resurrection, the body is the seat of sin, or the flesh -- this evil principle of self-centeredness in each of us. Therefore, the flesh is going to be with us for life. We shall never escape it until that wonderful day of the resurrection from the dead. The body is dead because of sin, and we live with it, therefore, for life.

But the body, soul and spirit of man are inextricably tied together. No one can understand this. Where does your soul live in your body? Do you know? No, but you know that you have a soul, though no one can locate it in the body. The relationship between the body, soul and spirit is beyond our comprehension. But because they are so inextricably tied together, the flesh, linked to the body, touches the whole man. It is important to see this. This means that the devil can influence us, in the body, in the soul, and in the spirit. He has access to the whole man through the channel of the flesh. Put another way, we are subject to the influence of these world rulers of present darkness through our mind, our feelings, and our deeds, through our intelligence, our emotions, and our will -- that which we choose to do or say -- which, of course, is another way of describing our deeds.

We need to understand how this works: Through the channel of the mind, the intelligence, the devil makes his appeal to human pride. We regard our reason as the greatest gift God has given to man -- and not without justification. Obviously it is our ability to reason, to bold abstract concepts and relate them one to another, which makes us superior to the animals and separates us from the rest of the lower creation. We take pride in this ability to reason. It is through appeal to our pride that the devil influences us along the channel of the mind.

Through the emotions, he works on our fears. Emotion is really our most human characteristic. It is not true that basically we are rationally-governed beings. We like to think it is through our logic and reason that we govern ourselves, but it can easily be demonstrated that this is not true. We are really governed by our emotions, our urges, our desires, our deep-seated, sometimes subconscious wants -- our instincts, if you like. It is through these that the devil makes his appeal to us by playing on our fears. We are so afraid we will miss out on life in some way, or will be hurt by some sacrifice for God's sake.

In the realm of deeds, or practical matters, the devil makes his appeal to pleasure, for the body is essentially sensuous, i.e., it is designed by God to respond to stimuli. We learn early in life that there are certain stimuli which are very pleasurable, while others are unpleasant. We learn to seek the pleasant and reject or avoid the unpleasant. So the body is constantly seeking after that which thrills or excites or pleases in some way, and turning away from that which hurts or injures or causes some degree of unpleasant reaction, Thus the devil makes his appeal through the realm of our deeds.

See how accurately this is illustrated by the story of Eve in the Garden of Eden. We are told that when she saw that the fruit was good for food, i.e., it offered the pleasant sensation of eating (the appeal to the body), and it was a delight to the eyes, i.e., it awakened within her a sense of beauty (the appeal to the emotions), and when she saw that it was desired to make one wise (there is the appeal to the pride of mind, the appeal to the intelligence and love of wisdom), she took and ate. These are simply the channels by which men are moved -- whether by God or the devil does not make any difference. This is the way men are.

[Gypsy]

I think people can forget how influential music can be. Not necessarily our actions...I'm not opening that can of worms, but music has a HUGE influence over how we feel. Music is raw emotion written into chords and harmonies and melodies. I can feel perfectly fine, but if I pop in a song that deals with being alone and no one understanding and wishing to never know anything at all....then I'm going to get a little depressed. You just kind of have to be careful about what you listen to and when, sometimes.

Hai. That's exactly what I was going to say. I'm not a depressed or mopy (mopie?) person, but I can't listen to music that's in a minor key. Music has a huge impact on some people (some more than others) and style really does matter.

Like dragonshimmer said, Starfire - pick and choose what you listen to and when. And I also encourage talking to your mother - especially since you mentioned that you were close to her. Pray before you do if you're nervous, but trust her and the fact you know that she loves you. Mothers are scary sometimes, but they've always got your back.

[agasfas]

The only thing I can say is to follow your heart, not reason. If you feel it doesn't do you any good listening to it, then don't. Why be sad and depressed when you don't need to be or have any reason to?

I'm not opening that can of worms, but music has a HUGE influence over how we feel. Music is raw emotion written into chords and harmonies and melodies.

I agree. Music has a very huge impact on how we feel. I have a very very diverse collection of cd's and depeding on what mood I'm in, I listen to. To be frank, I own a few cd's I know I ought not to... but whatever the case may be, whenever I feel really down and out, positive uplifting music is always the best remedy.

If you really feel bad about it, don't fear talking to your mother about it. I'm sure she'll be understanding. It's not like her finding something bad in your room... you're coming to her for advise. Anyways, I hope you find the anwsers you seek. If you can, let us know what happens.

[Starfire1]

thank you gypsy, thank you dragonshimmer, thank you zilch (it lightened the mood and made me smile. i needed that), thank you agasfas(i admit to crying a bit when i read yours. i seem to be doing that a lot lately), thank you holysoldier, thank you anyone i missed thanking.