wondering

[steelbeliever]

i b a punk/goth...my folks don't like and i love my folks, but i like my style too! how can i compromise? doesn't God say we should always obey our parents?

[JoyfullShadow]

Hey, i have the same problem. I love my parents too, but in the subject of style we just don't agree. What i try to do is try to talk with my parents and see if we can reech an agreement that suites bolth parties

[mitsuki lover]

All teenagers like to be different.It's a part of being a teenager.I'd bet anything
that your parents had the same sort of problems when it came to style with THEIR
parents when they were your age.It's just that for some silly reason once we get
older we start to conform more.
Note:I think one of the problems they probably have with the Punk/Goth look is that there has been a lot of stereotyping of that particuliar style for the bad.

[ChristianKitsune]

I myself am not a punk goth, however, I do like to dress up with odd outfits that I have designed...that to any passerby might think odd things of me...but I wear what I like, not what THEY like...and though it makes my mother laugh, she allows me to go to school like that...AS LONG AS I AM NOT SEEN WITH HER...lol..

But some times we do get in tiny spats like when we go shopping and I know I am going to my favorite stores...I like to dress up that way...she gets on to me...and I end up obeying...

my advice?: TALK TO UR PARENTS! Explain to them the reasoning behind your way of dress... but yes, the Bible does say to listen to your parents...and trust me, they know what they talk about...(though it may be hard to believe hahaha they really do!)

if that doesn't work, try looking at with THIER perspective...maybe they are worried about you and why you dress that way? (I know when I see my friends dress like a goth, I get rather concerned...) and Isn't GOTH a religion as well as a STYLE? I have a punk/goth friend too..and that is what she tells me...

[Fsiphskilm]

I'd rath

[Gypsy]

Yes, the Bible tells us to honor our parents and that also includes matters of clothing (especially if they're the ones doing the buying). As others have mentioned, talk to your parents openly about it without being defensive. And if you really want them to hear your reasons for wanting to dress a certain way, then it's only fair that you're willing to listen to what they say in return as well. It seems the only way you can get the compromise you're looking for is with their consent.

I don't know your parents' personalities or your home life, but you mentioned that you love your parents, steelbeliever, and that's a very good reason to abide by whatever they decide in the end.

[Fsiphskilm]

Yeah, my

[steelbeliever]

Yeah, my case is a bit different. It goes the the extremes. But i mean, I never wanted or asked to dress Gothic or Punk, or saggy pants, I dressed normal.

I hate my bleached hair, I just have becuase looking at it reminds me of my freedom.

Regardelss I'll agree with gypsy, it's good to honor and respect your parents' decisions, and listen to what they say... Of course my dad abused that right, I lost trust in him, yet today, I still respect him for at least being a father to his best abilities.

Yeah, parents are good, a lot more wise than kids, it's just when parents over-do it, and make bad decisions. Funny thing is, My mom kept pushing for my freedom whilst my dad kept trying to lock me up in my room.

In that case... Who's decision should I honor and respect? I'll go with my mom's

Ok, i have already talked to both my folks and they say i look like i am involved in witch craft...i don't live with them, but i visit them a lot (cuz i love em). whenever i see them, my ma and i go shopping, but she always picks out stuff i don't like cause she doesn't like the way i dress. i don't really dress inappropriately i just wear lots of jewelry, black, and other odd things. i only have my ears pierced i have no tattoos and i even grew my hair back out for her...i just want to be myself...i fear blending in i guess

[mitsuki lover]

Sounds like more of one of those mother-daugther conflicts than anything else.

[Yojimbo]

if that doesn't work, try looking at with THIER perspective...maybe they are worried about you and why you dress that way? (I know when I see my friends dress like a goth, I get rather concerned...) and Isn't GOTH a religion as well as a STYLE? I have a punk/goth friend too..and that is what she tells me...

No there is no "gothic" religion. The gothic style is usually associated though with Wiccan, Pagan, and New Age stuff. So that's where some of the stereotyping comes from.

Just do what the others have said. Talk to them help them understand that you can still dress a certain way and it doesn't mean you're a bloodsucking cat sacrificing wierdo.

[Kewl Girl]

Wow... my parents are suprisingly like Volt's. XD who would have thought.. I hope idont turn out like THAT *glances at his AV*.. JK!!

Ahem, anyways.... My parents wont let me dress that way either. They told me it was because it doesnt look Christian and that people around here would assume Im either a Satanist or on in to drugs...lots of drugs. While I dont agree with them I respect their decision and dont really dress that way. I still wear the braclets though but my parents are okay with those.

I guess I dont really think dressing Goth or not is much of a big deal and all ..its just clothes XD. And its not really something Id want to fight over with my parents.

I guess I just think that if your Mom says you cant dress Goth ask what she thinks is Goth , and then find something that your Mom is okay with. Maybe it wont be Goth but Im sure you can find something you like.

[ChristianKitsune]

OK! thanx for clearing that up YoJimbo!

[Fsiphskilm]

[quote="steel

[Yojimbo]

[quote="Volt"]lol, Goths aren't really being themselves. To dress in all black and the whole Goth style. That's trying to be someone you're not. No one is born looking or feeling like that ]

He's right trying to dress anyway is blending in. Best way to avoid this is to not worry about if you look like a prep, or a goth, or a homeboy/girl, and just be yourself with how ya look. Just don't "try" to look a certain way and you won't be part of the crowd.

[Silvanis]

Perhaps a compromise can be reached?

[Tsuki]

I really don't think it's a clothes issue, i think its more about trust.
now that you know what your parents fear, i guess you can try to prove to them who you really are.
I also admir that you are trying to have understanding with your parents and to grow your hair out to make your parents feel beter. Most people(that i know)wouldn't do that even. I will pray for you.

[ZiP]

EFJF380u*#)&%()$(#)@&*$()# uTRFJ04H*)Fh4jw80!!!!!!!

That's easy for you to say ]I NEVER got in trouble, and My freinds don't drink, do drugs, or any of that stuff either.[/QUOTE]

Then obviously, things turned out good, it's all in the plan God has for you.

And I was NEVER rewarded for being a good kid.

You don't drink, you're not a drug addict, you don't hang out with people who do either of the two, that doesn't sound too bad... Oh yeah, and you're a Christian, that'll turn out useful, I can garuntee that.

[Fsiphskilm]

[quote="ZiP"]

[steelbeliever]

it really helps to hear all your opinions, and has it happens, i talked to my mom and we decided that my choice of style was a little...odd. so we ewnt shopping the other day and compromised. when it comes to my real style, i'm jsut a laid back person and dressing in all black really is tiring. i have black hair, good enough. anyway, in just four hours, we changed my whole wardrobe, but i do still wear the jewelry. besides, being a goth was expensive! now i jsut wear my christian tees and jeans. that's what i'm comfortable in. i had forgotten i had em anyway. it really is nice to get away from the goth thing. i wasn't rebeling, i just wanted my own thing, but i guess being myself is my own thing...that was redundant. never mind that, but thanks, it helps a lot. it was hard for to change though because i've been like that for a few years, but now i feel like i don't have to dress like i have an attitude (I really do) jsut to stand out. besides, its harder to prove i'm a christian in all black, thatn when i'm wearing a happy ichthus shirt.

[Tsuki]

^^I'm happy for you

[Lochaber Axe]

it really helps to hear all your opinions, and has it happens, i talked to my mom and we decided that my choice of style was a little...odd. so we ewnt shopping the other day and compromised. when it comes to my real style, i'm jsut a laid back person and dressing in all black really is tiring. i have black hair, good enough. anyway, in just four hours, we changed my whole wardrobe, but i do still wear the jewelry. besides, being a goth was expensive! now i jsut wear my christian tees and jeans. that's what i'm comfortable in. i had forgotten i had em anyway. it really is nice to get away from the goth thing. i wasn't rebeling, i just wanted my own thing, but i guess being myself is my own thing...that was redundant. never mind that, but thanks, it helps a lot. it was hard for to change though because i've been like that for a few years, but now i feel like i don't have to dress like i have an attitude (I really do) jsut to stand out. besides, its harder to prove i'm a christian in all black, thatn when i'm wearing a happy ichthus shirt.

It's easy to think that clothes makes a person, yet in truth they are a hinderance (literally with the really, really baggy jeans). Using all of one's energy to create a "style" or image on the outside weakens what they can do for their mental and emotional selfs. I presume that you feel a little released?

It doesn't matter if you are trying to dress preppy, goth, or aussie (just kidding to the Aussie's here). It is conforming to the highest order. Man is meant to be individualistic, that is the whole point of free will. Trying to be the next Brittney Spears or Marilyn Manson when that is not who you really are is just a waste of time.

I don't wear shorts, have basic hair style, do have a nice goatee, and most of the time either wears Khaki pants and polo shirts or suits. I rarely wear anything really casual (of course this is attributed to work ) and might just start wearing suits when off work because I now feel comfortable in them. Well... except for the Southern summer heat...

Whenever I'll go to cons, you'll no doubt will recognize me as the only guy wearing a suit with a megatokyo shirt underneath.

I am a business otaku.