Hmm, well I sense that you're pretty tense right now--that's the longest sentence I've read in a very long time.
But seriously though, I think one of the biggest things to learn about seeking God is that He doesn't always come down and say "This is what I want you to do!" It's very subtle. We talk about hearing a still, small voice inside...and to be quite honest, that is not the majority of the ways God speaks to me.
I've always heard God speaks in 3 ways:
- Through His word
- Through His people
- Through prayer
In His word, sometimes you'll have a certain scripture come up again and again in your week. Or maybe you just read something and it takes your breath away. That, my friend, is the Holy Spirit grabbing your attention.
Sometimes just seeking advice from Godly friends can be how He chooses to communicate with you. For example, you have this horrible problem and you go to talk to your pastor about it...and He perhaps gives you some sort of advice or anecdote. There's a reason God placed HIM as your pastor and let HIM have the knowledge/wisdom to answer your specific crises...I believe that's God speaking too.
Finally, prayer (to me at least) is the most difficult. I really can't explain this one...it means sitting back and just LISTENING.
I think too part of having faith means you don't always know the right answer. Maybe you're not completely 100% clear on what God wants...but you take that step of faith and say, ok God, I believe this is where you want me to be. Faith takes trust. So I don't think God's left you....I think He's teaching you to trust him. You have my sincere prayers and if you want to talk further you're always welcome to PM me too.
And by the way, these are by far not the ONLY 3 ways God speaks, obviously. It's just the most common--at least, that is what I have been taught. No need to split up or get divisive about this, just Ash's opinion. ^^;