Meledriel

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:31 pm

Welcome to my online story, Meledriel.

This is the story of the Angel of Dusk, Meledriel. Because of his intense hatred of demons, this angel has been assigned to hunt down those that prey on humanity until the end of time. Shall Meledriel's path be of self-destruction or will he find the restoration of his true self? Battles are fought for the safety of humanity and for one angel's well-being.

Postby **Taslin_Jewel** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:42 pm

Is Meledriel a male or female character? I need to know these things for constructive critizicism (sp?).

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:49 pm

*Checking dictionary*

Yep, correct spelling. To answer your question, Meledriel is a he and I personally pronouce it Mel-ee-dr-ale. It might be a long time coming though, cause as I said Im really only brainstorming the ideas so far. I waiting for more supporting comments to signal the time to start.

[Edit: For new readers, the first two pages of this thread are mainly ideas and suggestions for my story. The two newest pages are where I have put my story. So I would advise to skip ahead to those parts. If you would like to know, this part here is being added quite a while after the initial posting. This is for your convenience and help you to have a better enjoyment of my story.]

Postby **Taslin_Jewel** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:51 pm

Lochaber Axe wrote:*Checking dictionary*

Yep, correct spelling. To answer your question, Meledriel is a he and I personally pronouce it Mel-ee-dr-ale. It might be a long time coming though, cause as I said Im really only brainstorming the ideas so far. I waiting for more supporting comments to signal the time to start.

Well, I like the name, anyway.

I don't know what the character is like yet, but send me a line when you post the first section.

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:12 pm

I like the name Meledriel. ^-^ I'm looking forward to your story when you write it.

Postby **Gypsy** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:42 am

Yeah, that is a cool name. You gonna post the story or what?

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 3:14 pm

Like I said... I don't have the time to write it this weekend. But for all you who are waiting patiently for details, here is a little something I cooked up in 2nd period because there was nothing to do.

Entering The Axe Files

Short story: "Meledriel"

Media: Christian Anime Alliance Forum

Setting: Medieval forest

Characters: Second son of the adjacent lord - name will submitted later

Meledriel - Warrior angel sent to defeat the demon lord of

the area.

Neterion - Demon with jurisdiction over the countryside.

Exiting The Axe Files

What you think? As I said comments would be appreciated before I write this.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 5:42 pm

If yall dont mind this contest is very important to me so I going to get this thread on that frontpage even if I have to spend all night doing it. :evil:

Is this want yall mean as "bump"? :eyebrow:

[Edit: Weeks later - this is about a contest that I decided to end prematurially on naming one of my characters (which I still haven't named yet :sweat:

) so do not pay attention to this or the above two since they are really nonsense. I advise to skip to the next page to get to my story. Sorry any new readers on having to go through this slush.]

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 6:17 pm

Sorry if I might be deemed as spamming for these excessive post at one time, but something was bothering me. Uhhh... is my little contest allowed? Im just asking because I don't what to put something on this that would be frowned upon.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 6:44 am

Well Im over my anxiety now... so Im going to announce the first two names entered:

Karafin
Adanar

As a note, you can enter as many names as you please to a certain extent (I don't think I want 100 names by one person :lol:

). Also if you do want to be anonymous, I will not be putting any identities with any selections. Of course, if you post here it won't seem that only one person is writing to himself. :grin:

Postby **Taslin_Jewel** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 7:08 am

Thanks for posting my entries, Sir Knight!

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 2:58 pm

I have a few names.

Celtic based names:
Tiernan, Kent or Regan for royalty.
Dillion or Dillon, for faithful
Carr or Brandon, if he's a fighter
Phelan, if he's like a wolf *hee*

Gaelic based names:
Riley, Ryan or Risteard for a ruler

I won't do any more. Aren't you grateful?

There are some really hard to pronounce Gaelic names if you want a certain meaning. What are you looking for in his personality or character? What does he look like? Is Meledriel a Greek-based name? Would you prefer Arthurian or some other language basis? Just let us know.

Postby **Razgriz** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:00 pm

The ultimate name website.

http://www.behindthename.com/

It has just about every name from about every culture, and their meaning.

Here are some random (fantasy) names off of the top of my head.

Rhal
Dornmer
Vandreis
Serilac
Tarimore

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:04 pm

I'm a name freak. :lol:

Cool, I have a new place to go. I've been using my trusty old name book for years now and it's out of print. I love the smell of books, though, don't you?(that went off subject
fast. :eyebrow:

) Sorry, Axe.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:11 pm

Thanks true_noir_chloe and Sangoku for the help. I bookmarked behind the name for future reference. Im brainstorming on the character appearances and personalities now though I have some ideas.

Im just been thinking that as Meledriel will be the more serious type and Neterion is the typical physcotic you-know-what, should the main character be a goofball or a young guy that thinks he can solve everything? Hmmm.... :eyebrow:

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:14 pm

No big... but please refrain from giving me a thousand names... please... that would only make this harder for me.

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:15 pm

Well, since you have a psychotic :wow!:

and a rigid all-business guy :eyebrow:

, the main character better be pretty easy-going or there's going to be too much angst to handle.

Postby **Razgriz** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 3:21 pm

In regards to names, I personally have my characters' names reflect their personalities or state of mind, whether it be the names' meaning, how it sounds, or otherwise.

For your main character personality, that's ultimately up to you, it depends on where you're taking this story, what mood you want the audience to have, etc. Though I would prefer both the goof ball and the know it all personality.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 7:31 pm

Ive just finished one of the two papers I have to write this week and the other one is due Wednesday, so I don't think I will start on it tonight.

Thanks for the suggestion and I would guess I could have the main character have a subtle but yet dramatic change from one point to the other extreme. Much like old war stories, a wet nosed recruit can change to become a valiant hero when the shooting starts. Dramatic experiences create dramatic changes.

You know what? thats very good, I got to remember that...

Dramatic experiences create dramatic changes ... :sweat:

...and i guess for the good or the bad, huh? :eyebrow:

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 8:35 pm

I think I might do the poll soon, so if your going to enter hurry! Of course helpful tips on how to actually do a good post would be appreciated.

Im very much still new... Have I even reached the 50s mark yet? :sweat:

My main question is how many subjects can you do in one poll?

*Sigh*

more than likely Ill have to divide and conquer my way through the names.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 4:43 pm

I've done it, Ive written the first part of "Meledriel"!

*does a little jig* :lol:

Part 1: The Angel of Dusk

The cobblestone streets cracked and groaned under the weight of the giant shipping cart. The six-horse team groaned under the pressure and the driver knew of the importance of the shipment to the frontier towns. This gentle man, if it wasnâ€™t for his long beard people would have believed that he was still in his middle years, drove the gray metal enforced monstrosity of a cart with expert skill. Unbeknownst to the driver and team was the seventh horse tied to the back. How could they since the sides of the cart nearly touched the walls of the buildings on both sides.

Inside the cart came snickering. The horse looked into it with silent condemnation in its eyes and gave a snort of disapproval. A blonde-haired head popped out of the back and gave the horse a puzzled expression.

â€œWhatâ€™s wrong with you?â€

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 7:53 pm

I'm glad you finally got it posted.

It's had a lot of build up. :eyebrow:

I like it.

You left us on a cliff hanger.

Postby **Razgriz** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 8:03 pm

Very nice indeed.

Postby **Taslin_Jewel** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:29 am

Bravo! It's really got potential. Keep it up!
Speaking of which, I need to actually post some of my own writing....

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 12:24 pm

You know what scares me? I just wrote a Five-paragraph, 400- word essay dealing on spiritual happiness with expansive use of difficult language such as the use of FORAYS (Ive never used that word before when I write) with a headache in less than a hours time. That was what I was doing why I was gone just now. :eyebrow:

Well I guess I can write the continuation now.

Postby **Razgriz** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 1:32 pm

I would like to also add I like how you have period weaponry at the end of your 1st chapter (the arbalest), and not just a "crossbow." These technical things makes it very immersing.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 3:36 pm

Here is the end of the first chapter and my very first battle scene, story wise and writing wise.

Part 1: Angel of Dusk (cont.)

Memories dance in the subconscious mind, where they are solitary and without partners. Horrors wait by the walls and patiently wait until they cut in. In some minds the ballroom floor is as pristine as the fountains underneath the monuments for the great men of past, but in others the floor is unmentionable to the likes of the faint of heart. One such mind lost in itself, not knowing how to trudge through the blood that was not of its doing. It was lost. It was afraid. It needed someone, anyone to rescue her. Everything was gone. Lost in the eternal dance of the mind.

The demon quickly moved its head as the bolt crashed into the wall by its ear. It gave a bestial snarl and lunged toward the warrior angel. Drool running down its mouth, it prepared to slice Meledriel in half as he reloaded. Meledriel smirked as the blade slashes inches from his backward moving body. The demon shrieked defiantly as its thrusts and slashes cut no flesh. Meledriel frowned for he was tiring of the game. The angel grabbed the demon's arm as it finished a side slash and kneed him in the gut. The arbalest snapped upward with a twist of the angelâ€™s hand and the butt crashed under the jaw of the demon. A sharp kick to the torso sent it crashing into nearby debris. A split second later the demon rolled away as a bolt struck the ground where it had been. As it was rolling, an armored heel drove into his back stopping his movement as he shrieked in pain and fear. The demonâ€™s shriek ended as something sharp pricked his scalp. He glanced upwards at the shining metal of the arbalest trained on his head.

â€œSend your regards to your brethren,â€

Postby **Razgriz** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:09 pm

Great descriptive writing, keep up the good work.

Postby **Lochaber Axe** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:20 pm

You know I was just thinking, this was about really about five minutes of combat. But look at how much it took me to write five minutes worth! Just think if I had an hour's worth? It would be a novel in itself. :drool:

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 2:35 am

I think you did great on the fight scene. You showed great movement of characters.

You know your weapons very well.

Meledriel

Meledriel

Yay! You Wrote Something!

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