Stupid Ways You've Hurt Yourself

[Azier the Swordsman]

Once at my old job I was attempting to cut open a box.... unfortunately, I didn't have my box cutter on me, so I opted for the next best thing: a pair of scissors. Bet ya can see where this is going huh? I wasn't exactly being overly cautious and had my finger right between the blades where I was pulling one blade along the top of the box, when I accidently clamped down on my finger and sliced it wide open. Thankfully I learned my lesson.

[Alice]

But I have been lucky too. Once in fencing class we were doing an exercise and the coach said we could do it without mask and not to touch each other. Since i am really short I have a shorter reach then taller fencers. And my partner didn't have a good distance between us. And she hit me right between the eyes. I freaked out. A millimeter either way and i would have lost an eye!!!!!

I bet you wanted to give that instructor the brain of the year award.

[kazekami]

I bet you wanted to give that instructor the brain of the year award.

I did. I will never do anything like that without the proper gear on again. Scared me really bad. But i praised God that I still had two eyes.

[Lunis]

Excuse me for laughing at some of these. I laugh at all kinds of physical pain. Especially my own.

One time, I was running down a sidewalk, and saw a part that was blocked off by an orange plastic fence. Being full of energy, I decided to jump over it. But when I leapt, one of my sandals got caught, and I fell face first into the pavement. I was scraped up, but I couldn't stop laughing at myself.

Another time, I was at the dinner table. A fork was laying at the edge of the table, the handle part suspended over the edge. I thought it was the perfect set up to flip it off the table. So I hit the handle part and the fork flew right into my face. I was okay, but my face stung.

This one time, I was walking through a parking lot, facing backwards while talking to my dad. I finished the conversation and started to turn around. The moment I faced foreward, my face collided full on with a street light.

This one didn't hurt at all, but it was still really stupid. Keep in mind that I was little at the time. My family and I were at a mall. I walked up to an up escalator and leaned my stomach on it. The rubber traction caught hold of my body and pulled it up onto it. So here I was, hanging on the rail of an escalator, my legs flailing wildly, but too short to reach the stair part. I was yelling and yelling for my dad to help me. He had to run up the escalator and pick me up himself. I still laugh at that!

[Azier the Swordsman]

I was once pulling a practical joke where I was going to pretend to bump my head into a parked car.... I really did.

[Doubleshadow]

Last summer I dove straight down into 3 and a half feet of water and even forgot to put my hands over my head. I realized it hurt after I was no longer disoriented.
I also nearly fell out of a fair ride called Ring of Fire when I was maybe eight. It was basically a roller coaster loop, like a giant hula hope with some train cars. I was so skinny and so panicky I was slipping out of the restraints and my mother had to hold me in the car by the back of my pants. Quite scary.

[JediSonic]

I was once pulling a practical joke where I was going to pretend to bump my head into a parked car.... I really did.

I've done that kind of thing before

Lets see..

One time I was skateboarding out of a neighbor's driveway when some guy in a van came up through my blind spot and nearly ran me over! I would have gotten off the board but I was too panicked. The worst part is that the man demanded I walk home with him so my mom would know how stupid I was! I've found it a lot harder to enjoy skateboarding since then. (so scary). One time skateboarding down a hill with Dad watching me to see how good I was, I lost control and went somersolting down the pavement

My first driving lesson (with dad in a very rural area) was last friday. After I failed to remember which way I was turning, dad accused me of not paying attention. While pondering this and what my alibi would be, I ran right through a stop sign. "YOU JUST RAN THROUGH A STOPSIGN," said dad. Trying to prove my good intentions, I stopped the car immediately... in the middle of the intersection!!

This is a great thread, guys... keep making me laugh at ya

[Bunny]

Two weeks ago I was coming home at about 10 PM. I had just stepped out of my friend's car and was heading up the steps smiling and humming with a Sonic slushie cup in either hand, mistepped, and tripped all the way UP the steps. I wound up on my back at the top of the porch, laughing uncontrollably with my brother standing right over me. I believe his comment was, "good job, sport." My big toes were sore for a few days but other than that it was just funny.

[kazekami]

its good to laugh about this stuff. =)

[TurkishMonky]

I once tried a backflip and landed on the back of my head. The stupid part of it was afterwards i tried it again, and landed on my head a second time. To prove my stupidity, i tried it a third time, with same results, and decided that the buzzing in my head meant it was time to stop. I was on excedrin for the rest of the day.

I've also stubbed the same toe so many times in a row that it got all bloody for a few days and eventually the toenail fell off... the funny thing was it was my middle toe - you would think all the other toes around it would protect it.

Hmm... need i continue? I've belly-flopped onto cement, dropped head first out of a tree after trying to climb it with my ankles, cut myself playing with a machete...
you get the picture

[Kkun]

DDR + freestyle tricks like spinning, knee drops, etc. / home dance pad x small room = sprained ankles and bruised knees.

Also, I've been kneed, pushed, shoved, elbowed, punched, bitten, kicked, gouged, smacked, thwapped, stepped on, and otherwise molested in "mosh pits" at concerts.

Oh, and there was this one time where I didn't get any sleep and I stayed the night at a friend's house and we decided that at 6 AM, we would go skateboarding because his parents wanted us in the house between 10 and 6. So, at 6, we take off and I decide to ride my skateboard down this very very steep hill. I start picking up speed, then my trucks start to wobble and I go flying off and skidding down the road. It was awesome.

[Htom Sirveaux]

When I was a kid, I was speeding down the road on my bicycle and hit something to knock my front wheel askew. Of course, at the rate I was going, there was no time to correct the wheel, so I ended up executing a perfect diving somersault over the handlebars and doing a faceplant on the road. One of my front teeth is now noticeably chipped.
I've smacked myself around so many times in my job in the housekeeping department at a hospital that I often notice superficial scrapes and bruises on myself and wonder "how that one got there."

[Artist4Jesus89]

I was showing off on my pogo stick and i think i tried to to a no hander while a cute guy i knew was watching me and so you can guess what happened plop i fell right on my arm and skinned it.
He asked if i was okay i said yeah but it hurt really bad hehe needless to say i never tried that again.

[kazekami]

Once during concert band I wasn't paying attention and almost missed where I was supposed to play so I rushed to get my Clarinet to my mouth and pocked my self in the eye.

[Lunis]

O.o

I get the most scratches and bruises possible for one body to have at my basketball tournaments. A lot of them, I don't even notice until after the game. For example, because of last weekend's tournament, I now have three big bruises on the same knee. And I wear kneepads. I always notice during a game if I've forgotten to put them on. Diving for basketballs isn't very pleasant without kneepads. I even have a few light scars on my arm from the other team's fingernails.

A few years ago, when my labrador retriever was still a puppy, I used to play really roughly with her. The teachers at my old school started to get suspicious of my mom when I came to school many times with my arms seriously looking as spotted as a leopard. It wasn't very painful, but it looked really bad. I had to stop playing so roughly with my dog. Nowdays, whenever I try to play roughly with her, she just gets all submissive and hides under something. I miss the good old days!

[Blitzkrieg1701]

My most stupid injury was far and away being chased by a little girl with a foam axe and running through a sliding glass door.

[Fireproof]

I was once biking and planning to swerve past a parked truck and continue on my way. I didn't swerve fast enough, causing my arm to smash into the truck and my bike to leave me and ride down the alley by itself for a while.

[haru_bay_nay]

Dude!! This thread's getting big, fast! Ah...You guys are hilarious!! Keep posting your embarrassing stories!!

When I was around 8 years old, my cousin got a bb gun. I loved playing with it, and shot at anything and everything I could. One day, my cousins and I were at our Grandma's house. She had to leave, but told us not to play with the gun while she was gone. Well, me being the little heathen I am, opened fire on a number of small birds in the trees as soon as her car was out of sight. I was shooting straight up in the air at a bird flying overhead, and somehow managed to trip backwards over a rock with the gun pointed upwards, knocking the butt into my mouth and breaking one of my front teeth literally in half. Needless to say, my parents (and Nanny) weren't too happy...(It's kinda weird to have a half-fake tooth now, too. )

I've done the same thing with my clarinet, kazekami!

Are you a post, Lunis? Because bruises and cuts are common for me as well, and my craziness when in "battle mode" when I get roughed up just contributes to the number and size of them...

[kazekami]

My first year of fencing I was a regular at the club. And I had trouble with a move called the Flecher. I still do. Most of the time I go splat on the ground like Inuyasha when Kagome says Sit. But I was getting some One on one insturction and when I was done i noticed my ankle hurt. But didn't think much of it. So I went to get something to eat and instead of walking around on the side walk I went over the planter and jumped down on the otherside of the brick wall. Wasn't that tall. Maybe 3 feet at most. And I landed on my ankle. Well it turns out that I had sprained it. And jumping down from the wall because I was lazy didn't help. I ended up sitting out of fencing for a while.

[Kisa]

Hmm stupid ways I've hurt myself... many non stupid, but....
scissors cut your hand just as neatly as paper.... nuf said ><

[TurkishMonky]

...From a handstand on a tree swung down and acidentally kicked a branch very hard, causing me to drop to the ground far below in agony,

went full speed down a steep slope on my bike - with trees at the bottom (self explanatory),

volunteered to be the target for my cousin to practice paintball on from fifty feet away,

avoided braces by acidentally running into another kid in a race when i was 10 - he got a full set of teeth marks on the back of his head and i got several very loose teeth that i was able to straighten out,

WENT ROLLER-SKATING - oh the pain! a nerd who skates is not a pretty sight. I usually ended up with multiple huge bruses on all limbs and on my stomach, and was unable to use my fingers for a few days,

made my sister mad (never, ever do this... it can get very messy)...

[Lunis]

Are you a post, Lunis?

Yes, I am. ^_^ A rather small, yet aggressive one. I remember one point in one of the games last tournament when I was guarding the girl with the ball down near the corner. She was pivoting like crazy to try to pass off the ball. Then she just rammed her elbow into my chest. The reff was standing right there, so, while still guarding my girl, I said to the reff, "Hello? Elbow!" They let the other team get away with a lot of things. I don't think I got a bruise from that one, though.

So, yay for post players!

o.O I'm so off topic.

[kazekami]

Back in high school my siter and I were watching some Disney moive. I went back to get something in my room. And ran back to the front of the house and slid across the kitchen floor in my bare feet. Unfortunately the linolium was cracked and had jagged edges and I sliced a good portion of the sole of my foot off. It was extremely painful. Couldn't walk right for a while. And my mom said "Thats why you shouldn't run in the house."

[livewire]

I think that the stupidist thing that I have EVER done to hurt myself hadto do with a clothes iron...
Several years ago I was getting ready to go on this trip with the campus programming organization I belonged to. I had just washed my clothes and didn't have any time to dry them before I left. I didn't want to pack wet clothes so I pulled out the iron. Now, I had a cat and my roommate also had one and they were ALWAYS in my room, so my carpet had cat fur on it. I realized my shirt that I was ironing dry was getting covered in fur, so, I, intelligent person that I am, picked up the shirt, put it on my thigh and....I am guessing you know the rest of the story. It caused me a deep sedcond degree burn that went straight into an open wound. The blister formed and popped open immediately...now, I was so smart that I didn't go to the hospital until three days later. I still have the hideous scar.....

Another, less stupid thing I did was when I first started working at Robinson's May. I was trying to raise a four way so that the dresses I was hanging up wouldn't drag on the floor. One of the arms was hard to raise and when I finally got it to go up, I put it too high. I couldn't get it to go down so, without thinking, I positioned myself UNDER the arm and pulled it straight down onto my head. I nearly knocked myself out.

..................
on another note....
at dinner at a friend's house several nights ago my boyfriend told a rather amazing story. You see, he has this huge scar on the back of his head, and I knew he'd been in a car accident when he was very small, but I didn't know the story....
When he was four years old his mom took him and his twin brother across the street to the ice-cream truck. While his mom was paying his dad happened to get home and he went to cross the street in front of the ice-cream truck and a car was coming. The driver didn't see him, hit him and he rolled beneath the car down to the end of the block.
He was in a coma for a while (he didn't tell us how long) and when he woke up he had to re-learn a lot of things, including how to walk.
Now, that isn't a stupid way to almost die, but a reason to thank God that he is still here with us today.

[kazekami]

Ah yes the infamous iron incident. I remember that. livewire also fought about going to the hospital.

[Sakura15]

I ran into a sliding glass door, and a stop sign pole lol.

[Tommy]

I was at the Disney Cruise at this Teen Club place called " The Stack" and all the teens were sitting in this longue and I was walking into the room and looked away for a second and smashed into a door.

It wasn`t a near-death experience, but it hurt.

And it was the Disney Magic, not Wonder. Just to eliminate confusion.

[kazekami]

I ran into a sliding glass door, and a stop sign pole lol.

I've run into a glassdoor too. it was when I was a little kid. i bounced right off. Also knocked myself out when I ran into a poll when i got off a bus at school in elementary school.

[Wind]

the Best and worst injury I ever got was when I sliced my finger to the bone opening a metal wet cat food can lid

The tip of my pinky on my left hand doesn't work any more but I consider
it a blessing in disguise because through it God is showing that I can do anything even with this minor disability I am Amazed That God would enable me to do anything even though I am one of the worst transgressors out there and I am thankful for Jesus dying for me

[Alice]

Doesn't it make it harder to draw??

I think when he was a kid my dad hurt his hand doing a soapbox race, and since then one of his fingers didn't work the whole way. But you'd never notice it. I'm only going on what I was told.

You said you were an artist, so I wondered if it messed you up?