Poem: The siren's song

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Poem: The siren's song

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:50 pm

The siren's song
When I was young
And lived at sea
I sat on a cliff
Looking into the ocean
Looking at the waves
Turning, Writhing
Each with a word
Making the lyrics
The sercret Lyrics
Of the siren's song

What do you think?
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Taslin_Jewel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:57 pm

I like it, Siren, little sister dear.
In a world shrouded in mystery, the winds of change begin to blow.

A proud member of Star Wars: The Mandalorian Wars and Darklight: Chronicles of Tairis.

Image

"I'm a warrior-hero-adventurer-goddess who CAN'T SWIM, okay?!?!" ~Skye of Lynlora, from the video game Darkened Skye
User avatar
Taslin_Jewel
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 7:20 am
Location: In my own little world...

Postby CobaltAngel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:05 pm

I wish I could write poems as good as you, Siren-chan.
And I knows who you are. Sarah-chan told - *Sarah-chan elbows her* Er, I figured it out all on my own... heh...
[align=right][align=center]
Invisible Children || Justice For Children






[/align]



[/align]
User avatar
CobaltAngel
 
Posts: 1950
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2003 7:44 pm

Postby Spiritsword » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:28 pm

Very nice, Siren, I like it. Glad you posted some of your work.
User avatar
Spiritsword
 
Posts: 2102
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Geneva, IL

Postby Lochaber Axe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:36 pm

Happened to check my new thread "Meledriel" and i came upon the poem. Very good siren... reminds me of the brine on the lips old sea yarns such as " The Wreck of the Hesperus". So that is what " On a cliff" means. Doh! :forehead:

I personally wouldn't try to write poems, I just don't have the talent for all the mechanics a poem takes. I wouldn't mind to bad if you gave a little critiscm (constructive of course :grin: ) of my little Meledriel once I have the time to write it.

Waiting patiently for customers.
User avatar
Lochaber Axe
 
Posts: 730
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 7:26 pm
Location: Where my mind forms a nexus...

Postby Taslin_Jewel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:38 pm

Lochaber Axe wrote:Happened to check my new thread "Meledriel" and i came upon the poem. Very good siren... reminds me of the brine on the lips old sea yarns such as " The Wreck of the Hesperus". So that is what " On a cliff" means. Doh! :forehead:


Don't worry, I would find it confusing too if she wasn't my little sister. ;)
In a world shrouded in mystery, the winds of change begin to blow.

A proud member of Star Wars: The Mandalorian Wars and Darklight: Chronicles of Tairis.

Image

"I'm a warrior-hero-adventurer-goddess who CAN'T SWIM, okay?!?!" ~Skye of Lynlora, from the video game Darkened Skye
User avatar
Taslin_Jewel
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 7:20 am
Location: In my own little world...

Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:11 pm

It has a very beautiful and charming rhythm. :angel: I like it. :)

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Technomancer » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:27 pm

That was good. It almost sounds like a fragment of a larger work.
The scientific method," Thomas Henry Huxley once wrote, "is nothing but the normal working of the human mind." That is to say, when the mind is working; that is to say further, when it is engaged in corrrecting its mistakes. Taking this point of view, we may conclude that science is not physics, biology, or chemistry—is not even a "subject"—but a moral imperative drawn from a larger narrative whose purpose is to give perspective, balance, and humility to learning.

Neil Postman
(The End of Education)

Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge

Isaac Aasimov
User avatar
Technomancer
 
Posts: 2379
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2003 11:47 am
Location: Tralfamadore

Postby Gypsy » Fri Oct 31, 2003 6:28 am

Nice! Feel free to post some more stuff ... like soon. :)
||Skipping Tomorrows Webmanga||
"A ship in harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for." - John A. Shedd
User avatar
Gypsy
 
Posts: 4056
Joined: Tue May 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Hyrule

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Fri Nov 07, 2003 6:28 am

Gypsy wrote:Nice! Feel free to post some more stuff ... like soon. :)

I'm sorry. I am having a little problem with writers-block :sweat: Please give me time to think of ideas
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Fsiphskilm » Sat Nov 08, 2003 8:41 pm

you can describe how the sun rises or sets...???
I'm leaving CAA perminantly. i've wanted to do this for a long time but I've never gathered the courage to let go.
User avatar
Fsiphskilm
 
Posts: 3853
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: USA

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:59 pm

Volt wrote:you can describe how the sun rises or sets...???

sure ise dawn and dusk
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Icarus » Sun Nov 23, 2003 8:58 pm

"That was a nice poem," says he of little experience. Miraculously, he's right. "I agree with Technomancer about it feeling like a part of something bigger."
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:58 am

thank you Icarus it was very nice of all of you to anwser to my peom *looks at block of wood on desk* But i wound be able to write for a while.
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:35 pm

As Winnie the Pooh says, "oh bother." You're not going to be able to write for awhile? Why not? Your poetry is so good.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Benu » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:39 pm

I think it's great Siren. Awesome writing.
"We join the "Christian" club and separate ourselves from the world, and the world still sits on the outside, dying for someone to demonstrate what it means to believe." - Matthew Paul Turner
User avatar
Benu
 
Posts: 279
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2003 8:04 pm
Location: Pomona, California

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Wed Dec 31, 2003 4:19 am

true_noir_chloe wrote:As Winnie the Pooh says, "oh bother." You're not going to be able to write for awhile? Why not? Your poetry is so good.

I have writers block :sweat:
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:36 am

Good work. Hopefully writer's block won't last too long. Sometimes I get stuck in that mode, or I just don't make time for writing. Keep it up though.
User avatar
Kokhiri Sojourn
 
Posts: 1215
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 3:48 pm
Location: Waco

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Thu Jan 01, 2004 5:34 am

Here is a previous one I did in class
in the void
dreams fly past
falling into dark
like ripples on the water
dream shadows I once
knew gone forever
in th viod
Iam falling in the void
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Fri Jan 02, 2004 7:58 am

I may like that one even better. Hey, 100 posts for me... :sweat: I like your style of writing.
User avatar
Kokhiri Sojourn
 
Posts: 1215
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 3:48 pm
Location: Waco

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Fri Jan 02, 2004 12:53 pm

thanks :red: :RED:
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Icarus » Fri Jan 02, 2004 10:44 pm

Good job. I like this one.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Sun Jan 11, 2004 7:17 am

I am writing another it will be done sone
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
User avatar
Siren of Lyrics
 
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm
Location: I'm free!!!

Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:13 am

I can't wait... :)
User avatar
Kokhiri Sojourn
 
Posts: 1215
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 3:48 pm
Location: Waco

Postby Inferno » Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:42 am

that was a very good poem keep writing more! :thumb:
"rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

METAL!!! :rock:



Member of headbangers united! \m/ >,< \m/

Myspace.com/cal3bsp3ncer
User avatar
Inferno
 
Posts: 765
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow!

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:36 am

Finally read your recent poem. Very good. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 42 guests