My Beloved...

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

My Beloved...

Postby c.t.,girl » Sun May 01, 2005 10:18 pm

iono where the thought of this poem came from...it just came to me...hope yall like it. ^__^


My Beloved

You stare at me from afar.
You watch me like a lion watching it’s prey.
What is it that you’re thinking?
Are you plotting my demise?
Are you waiting for me to mess up?
What is it that you think of as you stare so intently at me?
The look in your eyes frightens me.
They look like dolls eyes
But yours move, so very quickly.
They watch my every move.
If I fall, will you take away all that I have?
What more could you take?
You’ve taken all I have already.
Do you want Him?
Do you want my Love?
You can’t have Him.
He is mine.
He is my beloved,
As I am His.
I will not give Him up.
He is mine.

<<ToT you pointed out my typos!!!>>
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
User avatar
c.t.,girl
 
Posts: 1428
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
Location: BEHIND YOU.

Postby Kaori » Fri May 06, 2005 4:17 pm

I liked the analogy you use in the second line of this poem, "You watch me like a lion watching its prey." The poem in general has a fairly unified feel, particularly with the emphasis in the first half of the poem on the eyes of the person watching the narrator.

Just as a quick question, is "my love" a human person or God? Some of the phrases seem out of place if the subject is, in fact, God ("You can't have him"); but capitalization of the third person pronoun, like in the second and third lines from the end, is usually only used when referring to God. I am slightly confused by this.
Let others believe in the God who brings men to trial and judges them. I shall cling to the God who resurrects the dead.
-St. Nikolai Velimirovich

MAL
User avatar
Kaori
 
Posts: 1463
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:48 pm
Location: 一羽の鳥が弧を描いてゆく

Postby c.t.,girl » Fri May 06, 2005 7:23 pm

XD it's a typo...XD...;_; you pointed out one of my typos...(((((((((\ ToT)/ meany!
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
User avatar
c.t.,girl
 
Posts: 1428
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
Location: BEHIND YOU.

Postby Kaori » Sat May 07, 2005 7:54 pm

I apologize; I had thought that it was intentional. I generally do not point out typographical errors unless specifically asked to do so.
Let others believe in the God who brings men to trial and judges them. I shall cling to the God who resurrects the dead.
-St. Nikolai Velimirovich

MAL
User avatar
Kaori
 
Posts: 1463
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:48 pm
Location: 一羽の鳥が弧を描いてゆく


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 186 guests