A Question about "Prayer"...

[mizuhara_fan]

(I guess this would be appropriate in the General forum as this is not a prayer request).

Being a relatively new Christian, I kind of lack some guidance in how to talk to the Lord. I know in the bible (specifically in Eph 6:18, Luke 11:1, 1 Pet 3:10-12), Jesus explains some ways to go about praying in the Spirit. Though I have always felt that I lacked some sort of "direction" in how to go about praying, given what it is said about it. Sometimes I feel that I am asking too much of my personal desires or wonder if I missed someone in my prayers.

So I am just wondering how do you guys go about praying? Is it a constant thing that goes in through your head everytime you need to talk to God, or do you guys set aside some time at night and focus your attention to Him?

[Slater]

Prayer is your constant connection to God. It's important to be praying continually. Too often in our lives we chose to make prayer our last-resort when in reality we should be using it as our primary tool. Don't just pray when you feel like it's "necesarry" (eg, when things go bad), but pray when things are going well too.

Sometimes it can be hard to know what to pray or what not to pray. In these cases, it's always best to pray "thy will be done." It's like the baseball approach to things... the pitcher and the batter are both Christians in the World Series. If the batter prays to God for a home run and the pitcher prays for a strikeout, which does God listen to? I don't think that there are any prayers that God doesn't listen to, but I do suppose that often we can have our prayer center around selfish things.

Just remember that God knows the words of your prayer before you pray it. Maybe it's best to pray to God for the right words to pray?

Finally, yes, it is good to set time aside to be with God. Somewhere in the Bible I think it says to lock yourself up in a closet. I sometimes do that; going into small, private places with my Bible to read and praise God. Get away from the distractions of the world once a day to do that and God will continue to show you more and more of His endless wisdom.

[Yumie]

I just pray all the time, any time something pops into my head. God tells us to pray about everything, and so that's just what I do. I don't think it matters if it's just something you're asking him for, or if it's something that's a really big deal. He wants us to talk to him about it. He'll always answer us in one way or another. And he just wants you to talk to him like you would your best friend. Sometimes I just talk to him about things going on in my life, and how I feel about them, anything really. Anyways, that's my take! :-P

[Nate]

We're called to pray constantly. It should be the last thing you do before going to sleep. I would say it should be the first thing you do when you wake up, but most people open their eyes first, so make it the second thing.

And remember, in Luke 18, Jesus told the parable about the widow and the unjust judge...how the woman kept begging him for justice, and the judge refused...but eventually he got tired of the woman's whining and did what she asked. He then closed by saying if the unjust judge gave the woman justice, how much more will God who loves us give us what we ask for if we constantly ask for it.

Well, that's all I have to contribute. ^^

[mizuhara_fan]

Thanks guys for your input. Before I was usually hesitant about praying as I don't know if God will hear me (because I forget to ask forgiveness of sin or whatever). I should probably pray more often, considering what Luke chapter 18 says. I also like the analogy of the World Series game and prayer. It kind of sets in to each individual's needs and is a paradox when two people pray opposite things from each other.

Though I've always been puzzled on why God would want us to pray to Him our needs when He already knows them. Is it just to let God know of our confirmation of faith?

[anime4christ]

I don't know, I've never quite understood that one either. But I think it's probably because God likes to hear us pray, maybe.

[Stephen]

Being a Christian...is less of religion and more a relationship. I talk to Jesus like a person. He is my Lord and Saviour...but He is also my best friend. So I don't try to make some big long winded OH MIGHTY LORD OF THE UNIVERSE style prayer. Maybe I am alone in this...but I go to Him in prayer like I would go to talk to my earthly father.

[agasfas]

I use the Lords prayer as a guideline to praying:

The Lords prayer:
Matthew 6:5-15
5“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11Give us today our daily bread. 12Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.


I don't actually pray those words but rather I use it as a outline... We should prayer for others as well as others; also we must be willing to forgive both ourselves and others too. Prayers should be unselfish; thus the reason why you pray for others as well. Also, like Jesus said, we shouldn't babble about the same thing on and on; we are not heard for how many words we can say, but rather the substance. But the key to prayer which many fail to realize is that prayer can't be selfish- all about us. Jesus wants us to show compasion for others and if you show it, it's more likely your prayers will be heard. Also, don't only pray to God in your times of need, but rather at least try to make a habbit w/ at least once a day. It's not right to only pray only when we are in need.

Edit: Although I'm not the best at it.... I try my best to usually do it at nights. I don't think it really matters "how" many times you pray a day, but whether we are sincere of what we pray. Although words are important, I believe that our prayers are heard from the heart; whether we mean our words or not.

[Ashley]

Right on. Being a Christian isn't about idle rituals or long-winded, eloquent chants with no meaning. It's mean to be a meaningful, loving, intimate relationship with the one who loves you more than anyone else can. Do I have it down? Absolutely not. But I'm pressing on towards having that relationship, and working on growing it.

As for my personal prayers...I do try hard to set aside time in the morning to spend with God. I thank Him for as many things as I can (especially when things are not going well), prayer requets, understanding of scriptures (if I'm about to read), etc. Throughout my day I make a point to stop and thank God even for 2 seconds when things go right, and to stop and cry for help when I feel myself sinking under stress or whatever.

I don't approach God with a bunch of fancy titles...I just open up my heart and tell Him about how I feel. How frustrated I am, or joyful, or confused...whatever is up at that moment. I am working on being still and listening back, but I think that's a good place to start. Just be honest with God.

Think of it this way. God loves you so much, He wrote a whole book of love letters for you. He sent his Son to die for you. And He delights in hearing back from you! It's like when a kid is off in college...and calls back home. Even if it's to ask for more money, or just to see how things are going...those parents are estatic to hear their beloved child's voice. I think God, our heavenly Father and adoring Adonai, is the same way. We are the apples of His eyes, and how He cherishes hearing from us.

As for worrying about if your "clean" to pray or not, that's a simple problem to take care of. Ask God first and foremost to forgive you of anything you may have said or done or thought that was displeasing to Him, even if you cannot remember it.

[Swordguy]

it has been said here already but we tend to do it alot, don't go to Him ritulistacly...He shuns it...if you think about it pray is our conversation to God...and how many of you would be intersted ina conversation that is preplaned rutilistic? open your heart to Him when you pray...humble...
James 4
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

you may think that sounds bad but we tend to hide ourselfs but laughing and acting like it all mary and sappy but we are hurting...God wants to know of your hurts, wants you to give them to Him, to heal you of them, not for you to lock them inside you....

[holysoldier5000]

It certainly is not an accident that John closes his letter with an emphasis upon the subject of prayer. He has been writing about the life of Christ -- the only life that can truly be called a Christian life. That life is characterized by truth, love and righteousness, and prayer is the perfect expression of all three of these: Love is prayer's motive, Truth is its expression, and Righteousness its goal.
There is a deep-seated instinct for prayer buried within each human being. Given enough stress, given the right circumstances, it will come out. That is why it is said, "There are no atheists in fox holes." Under the pressure of danger there is a deep-seated desire in man to cry out to God for help. I remember hearing of a sea captain who described the violence of a storm by saying, "God heard from plenty of strangers that night."
Perhaps there is no aspect of Christian faith that is so puzzling to many as that of unanswered prayer. Almost all the problems in prayer are a result of ignorance of the nature of prayer. Prayer is a mysterious thing to many, and, because they do not understand it, they make experiments in the realm of prayer. But these sometimes do not turn out, and many have lost faith in prayer because, not having a proper understanding of the nature and purpose of prayer, their prayers have gone unanswered. They conclude that prayer is a failure, and God himself is a failure.
I wonder what would happen if you or I were called upon to operate the tremendously powerful instrument behind Stanford called the linear accelerator, this mighty nucleus smasher, the most powerful instrument of its kind in the world? I have never been in the control room of this particular instrument, but I have seen its operations. It seems to be a very simple matter: All one does is to sit there and press buttons. It all looks simple enough. But I have enough knowledge of the power of that mighty instrument and what could happen if it were misused to not care to take the chance of operating it myself. If you or I were called upon to operate it, what havoc we would create in very short order by our ignorance of the power and potential of that great machine. Yet it looks so deceptively simple.
This is the way it is in prayer. Prayer is a simple thing. It does not appear very difficult or complex and it is available to the simplest of people. Even children can pray, and pray very successfully, very effectively. Yet the understanding of the nature of prayer is infinitely complex and requires some considerable knowledge before prayers are answered regularly. In this closing section of his letter John gives us certain basic, general principles about prayer, then he follows them with a specific illustration. We have first the general principles in Verses 14 and 15:
And this is the confidence which we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him. (1 John 5:14-15 RSV)
As we have suggested, for many Christians prayer is a venture, an experiment. There is nothing very certain about it. We often pray because we do not know what else to do. Who of us has not at one time or another said, "Well, things have gotten so bad there's nothing else to do but pray," as though that were the final and last resort. But you do not see that attitude in the Apostle John. What is his reaction to this matter of prayer? "This is the confidence which we have in him," he says, "that if we ask anything according to his will, we know he hears us." There is a great and ringing note of certainty there. Prayer is not an experiment, prayer is a certainty with John, a sure thing. He knows it works, and he knows how it works. That confidence is expressed by the word he chooses, boldness. "This is the boldness which we have in him; we know that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."
Now you cannot read the New Testament without realizing that God delights in bold praying, and in bold people. Read the Epistle to the Hebrews and see how many times that word appears. "Seeing then that we have a great high priest ... Jesus the Son of God ... [who] was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin, let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need," Hebrews 4:14-16). And again, "we have boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way..." (Hebrews 10:19 KJV). This is what ought to characterize prayer. It should be bold, confident, certain.
This kind of certainty arises from the knowledge of two fundamental principles of prayer, which John gives us here: the certainty of hearing, and the certainty of having. Notice these. "If we ask anything according to his will, we know that he hears us." Perhaps the major reason for most of the unanswered prayers of the world is they are not according to God's will, and therefore they are not heard. John makes it explicitly clear that a prayer that is according to God's will is always heard. Thus, at one stroke he demolishes all those concepts of prayer which imply that prayer is a means of getting God to do our will. Prayer is never that.
There are many people who regard prayer as some kind of mysterious device by which human beings get God to do what we want him to do, a kind of Aladdin's Lamp which, if we rub it in the right way, will cause the great Genie of heaven to appear and give us our requests. God becomes a kind of heavenly servent rushing to our aid when we push the button of prayer. It is this concept which has resulted in some of the frightful perversions of prayer.
For instance, there are the faith healers whom you can see on television today, who make arrogant, blasphemous demands upon a patient and longsuffering God, commanding him to do things which they insist are their right to ask, though it is very evident that God is regarded as a junior partner in their business relationship. But that is not prayer and never was prayer. Prayer is a means of obtaining the will of God, and is limited always by the will and purpose of God. If we pray outside the purpose there is no assurance at all that our prayers are heard, and certainly not that they will be granted. Sometimes our prayers are not according to the will of God because our motives are wrong. Sometimes we pray, as James says, "amiss, in order to consume it upon our own lusts," (James 4:3b KJV). We want what we want, not what God wants. Some time ago I heard of a wedding prayer that illustrates how subtly this can be done. This is a girl praying on her wedding day.
"Dear God. I can hardly believe that this is my wedding day. I know I haven't been able to spend much time with You lately, with all the rush of getting ready for today, and I'm sorry. I guess, too, that I feel a little guilty when I try to pray about all this, since Larry still isn't a Christian. But oh, Father, I love him so much, what else can I do? I just couldn't give him up. Oh, You must save him, some way, somehow.
You know how much I've prayed for him, and the way we've discussed the gospel together. I've tried not to appear too religious, I know, but that's because I didn't want to scare him off. Yet he isn't antagonistic and I can't understand why he hasn't responded. Oh, if he only we're a Christian.
Dear Father, please bless our marriage. I don't want to disobey You, but I do love him and I want to be his wife, so please be with us and please don't spoil my wedding day."
That sounds like a sincere, earnest prayer, does it not? But if it is stripped of its fine, pious language, what it is really saying is something like this:
"Dear Father, I don't want to disobey You, but I must have my own way at all costs. For I love what You do not love, and I want what You do not want. So please be a good God and deny Yourself, and move off Your throne, and let me take over. If You don't like this, then all I ask is that You bite Your lip and say or do nothing that will spoil my plans, and let me enjoy myself."
That is what that prayer is really saying. Prayer that lies outside the will of God is an insult to God. As the Psalmist has said, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me," (Psalms 66:18 KJV). Prayer must be according to God's will, John says, in the direction God is going, with a view to obtaining the purposes he intends. As Romans tells us, the Spirit of God helps us in our infirmities by prompting our desires, by creating deep urges within us, unutterable yearnings, hungerings after more of the real life that satisfies, not only for ourselves, but for others. Thus, the Spirit is our Helper that we might pray according to his will. Now "according to his will" includes a tremendous lot. Much of the will of God is already revealed to us.
I heard of a boy in Montana, about the only reading matter he had in the long winter months was a Sears and Roebuck catalog. It was a limited reading selection but what a tremendous amount of things were included. It took him weeks to go through only one section of it. We could order anything we had the money to pay for, but it would have been utterly futile to have sent in an order for something that was not in the catalog. There was plenty that could be ordered, but it was useless to ask for something they did not have. And so it is with prayer. Within the will of God there are tremendous things, vast numbers of gifts, that he has provided for his own. The will of God includes all that we need. All that we really want is available to us and to our loved ones and friends within the will of God. There is nothing we need to pray for outside of it. Outside are only things that harm, injure and destroy us.

[TurkishMonky]

God desires to be a part of our lives and prayer is one way for us to let him. When we pray, it's like we, as tiny children, talking to our huge father, in a sense. He knows what we want (like a little kid eyeing the big bowl of cookies on the table,) yet he sometimes doesn't give them to us when we try and do it ourselves (scream, throw a fit, try to climb up the table.) He waits for us to ask him. He wants us to ask him. In the same sense, he knows wether or not our request will be good for us (aka is it just before dinner.) God knows all about us, he just desires for us to talk to him. Other times, God knows what we need, even if we ourselves don't, and will provide us with what we need the most.
I'm not really a good communicator, but i hope you get the meaning behind what i'm saying. Prayer isn't an secret spell that will make all things happen our way. It's a lasting communication with God. It's also not so important that we meticulously list every need we have, otherwise it might not be met. God knows us better than we know ourselves, since he created us in his image. He is the perfect father.

In the same sense, just imagine if you have this awesome friend who is always with you, and you do everything together. Do you normally just go around with this friend and not say a word to them, except "Thanks for buying me lunch," or "It's a nice day" once or twice a day? Probably not - You talk to your friend about your problems, your hopes, your life, and your cares. In the same way, God is our most faithful friend, always with us, and always there for us.

Pray continually as if to a nearby friend, and know that God will listen like a Father.

Hope this helps.

[Kaligraphic]

Just talk to him like you would someone standing next to you. Too many people fill their prayers with "trying to pray correctly" and never actually get to God - they act like it's an activity you do. It's not an activity - it's a mode of communication. Don't worry about "sounding right". God doesn't care whether your prayers sound fancy or not. He doesn't care whether you swear like a sailor or talk like a priest. It's not something that you can "mess up".

Just talk to Him. Listen for His reply. Don't be discouraged if you don't always hear it, because sometimes He stays silent for your own good. (when you're getting used to talking with Him, for Him to respond to everything would be pretty overwhelming for you - you've got to get used to it gradually.) You can't offend God in your prayers, because He forgave you for everything two thousand years ago. (Everything. Even stuff you haven't done yet. Remember that two thousand years ago, you hadn't done anything yet. It is now impossible for you to offend God.)

(Oh, and as an example: just now I said to God, "So, what do you think?" He said, "It's okay, go ahead and post it." That was a prayer. It's simpler than some people can make it look. If you want help with prayer (or most anything else), just say to God, "teach me how to do this" - and He will.)

[holysoldier5000]

Perhaps we do not know exactly whether a request is the will of God for us or not, and the examples of Scripture make clear that it is not wrong to ask even for these things. But we must then always add, as Jesus himself added in the Garden of Gethsemane, "nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42 KJV), for prayer is designed only to obtain that which is within the will of God. Thus, John says, that if you know that what you are asking for is within the will of God, if you have found a promise of God in Scripture, or, in seeking the mind of God there has come a deep and settled conviction in your heart from the Spirit of God that something is the will of God, then, knowing that this is the will of God you ask for it, you know that he hears. God always hears every prayer that is voiced within the boundaries of his will. This is the first certainty that forms the basis of prayer -- we know we are heard.
Jesus could say, "I thank you, Father, that you always hear me" John 11:42), because everything he did lay within the boundaries of the will of God. That brings us then to the second certainty of prayer, the certainty of having: "If we know that he hears us," John says, "then we know that we have obtained the request that we made of him." Think of that! If we know it is according to his will, then we know it is heard, and if we know it is heard, we know that we have it. God has already granted the request. In other words, God never says "No," except to that which lies outside his will. As Paul says to the Corinthians, "All the promises of God in him [Christ] are yea, and Amen," 2 Corinthians 1:20). There are no negatives, it is all "yea and Amen." Is that not a wonderful thing? Do you dare to believe that? "No good thing will he withhold from him who walks uprightly," Psalms 84:11).
God plays no favorites and has no special pets. He has intimates, but anyone can be his intimate who desires to be, and moves along the program he has outlined. He has intimates to whom he gives much more than others, but he has no favorites, and no limitations as to who can enter into these things. Anyone can who will, but the secret of prayer, as John suggests here, is to take, to believe that God has granted everything we ask within his will. The secret is to take. "You have it," John says. "We know that we have obtained the request made of him." Now he is not trying to kid himself or to pretend that God has given him something that it is all right there and if he will just open his eyes there it will be. There is no kind of psychological gimmick here. What he is saying is that when we pray, and the request is made in the will of God, then the answer is absolutely sure and it is only a question of God's timing as to when it appears. It is up to God when that answer will come, but the request has been granted and therefore we can give thanks. We can take from him and thank him for that which has been given, expecting it to appear in God's time. Remember that Jesus warned, "The times and the seasons are not for you to know," Acts 1:7). Time of this is the only uncertain aspect about prayer. There are often delays in God's fulfillment of answers. This matter he reserves to himself. But as to the ultimate giving of the things requested, there is no uncertainty whatsoever.
Jesus made clear that God is not like a reluctant neighbor who needs to be wheedled, cajoled and enticed to give something. He gives eagerly, gladly, willingly. As Jesus said, "Ask, and it shall be given; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you," (Matthew 7:7, Luke 11:9 KJV). Many prayer meetings are often pools of unbelief. Listen to the prayers in these meetings and so many times they are uttered in a wheedling, begging tone of voice, as though the petitioner felt he had to get God's arm and twist it a bit and persuade him reluctantly to come through. But this is not prayer, not biblical prayer. God is never like that, says Jesus. "What father of you, if your son comes and asks for fish, will give him a serpent, or for bread, will give him a stone?" Luke 11:11). You would not do that, and God is much better than you. If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father respond to your needs in prayer? That is the true basis of prayer.
John concludes with this because prayer is the simplest expression of our life in Jesus Christ manifest in a practical way. We are to be constantly praying, constantly making demands upon God on this basis, knowing that he hears us and grants it, and all we need say is, "Thank you, Lord." Notice carefully, in reading the Gospels, that is what the Lord Jesus is always doing. Everywhere he goes it is simply, "Thank you, Father. Thank you for this, thank you for that. I know that you have heard me, I know that you have done this. Thank you." His life was one of continual giving of thanks, and that is what we are expected to do: "giving thanks in all things, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you," 1 Thessalonians 5:18).

[mizuhara_fan]

Well thanks you guys for helping me out (especially holysoldier for really hitting it on this topic ). This was something I've been definately struggling with for some time and the lack of Biblical knowledge kind of made it difficult for me to even begin a prayer. I will definately be using this for my own personal reference as it will improve my ongoing relationship with the Lord.