My Maddened Ramblings.

[Nia-chan]

Why am I sad? I could be poor. I could come from a broken home. I could be dying of AIDS in Africa. I could be mentally or physically handicapped. I could be living on the streets. I could have people after my head, like Paul, David, or Jesus. I could have all sorts of bad things happening to me.

But I'm sad because I feel alone. I'm finding out that people who I thought were friends really aren't. And it hurts. I'm sad that I feel lonely because of it. I'm sad that I feel betrayed.. and used... and like I don't matter. I'm sad that when I'm alone I can't imagine Jesus walking next to me.

But when I think about it, things could be a lot worse. So why don't I feel better? Is it because I'm focusing too much on myself?

Can anyone relate?

[Joshua Christopher]

Why am I sad? I could be poor. I could come from a broken home. I could be dying of AIDS in Africa. I could be mentally or physically handicapped. I could be living on the streets. I could have people after my head, like Paul, David, or Jesus. I could have all sorts of bad things happening to me.

But I'm sad because I feel alone. I'm finding out that people who I thought were friends really aren't. And it hurts. I'm sad that I feel lonely because of it. I'm sad that I feel betrayed.. and used... and like I don't matter. I'm sad that when I'm alone I can't imagine Jesus walking next to me.

But when I think about it, things could be a lot worse. So why don't I feel better? Is it because I'm focusing too much on myself?

Can anyone relate?

I know exactly what you mean. I've gotten so sick of the way people are, that I've nearly become a hermit... but sometimes it gets to me. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't always alone, but other times I think about how horrible people can be.
Anyway, I know how you feel.
"Blargh."
I pray it shall improve for all of us.

[Nia-chan]

I know exactly what you mean. I've gotten so sick of the way people are, that I've nearly become a hermit... but sometimes it gets to me. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't always alone, but other times I think about how horrible people can be.
Anyway, I know how you feel.
"Blargh."
I pray it shall improve for all of us.

Thanks. Now I don't feel too alone.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

it happens, ill be praying... ill come back later for more info

[K. Ayato]

I've often wished to escape to a remote world of my imagination more than once. But I remind myself why I am here and that I have to accept reality.

[mitsuki lover]

Reality can be a bit harsh at times.Just don't try to make you too down or you might miss some of the blessings that God might have in store for you.Who knows
because of this you might actually be able to make some real friends who will stick to you no matter what.

[the_lizardqueen]

Why am I sad? I could be poor. I could come from a broken home. I could be dying of AIDS in Africa. I could be mentally or physically handicapped. I could be living on the streets. I could have people after my head, like Paul, David, or Jesus. I could have all sorts of bad things happening to me.

But I'm sad because I feel alone. I'm finding out that people who I thought were friends really aren't. And it hurts. I'm sad that I feel lonely because of it. I'm sad that I feel betrayed.. and used... and like I don't matter. I'm sad that when I'm alone I can't imagine Jesus walking next to me.

But when I think about it, things could be a lot worse. So why don't I feel better? Is it because I'm focusing too much on myself?

Can anyone relate?

What you said is so true. It can feel kinda riduculous at times, being depressed over friends and one's social life, when there's much more extreme things going on out there in the world. But that doesn't change the fact that when your hurting, your hurting. You can try to listen to your conscience when it's telling you that your being self absorbed, but then ya end up feeling worse 'cause you don't feel like a good person.

Phew, sorry if I'm ranting, but your post definitely hit close to home with me. My closest friend is moving to another city and the rest of my social life is leaving alot to be desired lately. Lately I'm leaning pretty heavily on my Christianity, and it's kinda freaky at times.

As for the matter of Jesus walking with you, I've never really tried to imagine Jesus walking with me. I tend to feel God around me in everything, in the more general sense.

It would seem that your not the only one that's feeling that way though. I hope that helps you to feel a wee bit less alone. God bless ^_^

[Nia-chan]

That was all good advice, and thanks all for responding. I'm trying not to let myself get too worried over it and try to focus on other things instead.

I'm also wondering if I'm overreacting. Lately it seems as if my "friends" are always telling me disguised insults, but then another part of me says, "Maybe they're just teasing". Is that what friends do? I don't want to hang out with them if they don't want me to, but I don't exactly welcome being a loner either.

I wish they'd just come out and tell me whatever they have to say to my face!