"One"-An 08th MS Team songfic

[Android raptor]

Hello, and welcome to my little Gundam: 08th MS Team ficcy. It's rated PG-13, but that's just to be ABSOLUTLY safe (it might be more like PG). It has no cursing, no sex, but it does have violent themes and spoilers. It's about Ayna's thoughts on her brother and the events of Ep.11, and is written in first-person. Over and out.

One

By: Android raptor


It still haunts me, the day I was forced to kill him. I loved him, yet I helped end his life. I try to justify it by telling myself that he was insane, that it was either him or us, but can anything really justify the fact that I killed him, my own brother? It is said that no one has the right to take the life of another, yet I helped do just that. It is also said that everyone can redeem himself; that everyone can make up for their sins, but I ended the chance for him to do so. I just wish that I could have known another possible outcome.


Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame


I am forced by my own conscience to remember the day Ghinius died in detail, even though a part of me wishes to forget. It started out a rough day; the federation had discovered the location of our base and had launched a massive attack on it. I don’t know what Ghinius was up to most of the day because I was overseeing that the soldiers on the base got to the Keregeren safely. I remember that Norris, our family retainer who was very close to me, went out and was killed in action. I practically lost it after being informed of his death. Then I remember Ghinius coming and telling me that the Apsaras was completed, and that we had to go launch in it.


One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for


I knew that something was not right with him as soon a he came and told me. He was acting in a rather wild manner, and was by now clearly insane. At the time I didn’t know what to think or say, I was so used to following his orders that I just went along with what he said. I now think that I should have at least stopped him, because it might not have ended the way it did if I had.


Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...


He led me to the completed Apsaras, that horrible machine that stole his heart and soul and essentially made him its slave. When we arrived at the hanger, he stood in front of it for a moment, seeming to revel in his creation. But then I saw him collapse onto the side of the catwalk, blood running down the side of his mouth and straining to breath. I knew that he had become so fixated on that grotesque instrument of mass murder that he must have stopped taking his medication, which was one of only two things keeping him alive. The only other being his fanatical devotion to the Apsaras, of course.


Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other


I then realized that the research and development staff was not present, so I questioned Ghinius of their whereabouts. He said something about them getting drunk somewhere, but somehow I knew that wasn’t the case. Before we got into the Apsaras, I told him to change into a normal suit. He did as he was told, and we launched into battle. We immediately opened fire on the feddies, but the first blast was just a warning. We landed the Apsaras, and I communicated with the federation’s colonel that I wanted to request a temporary cease-fire to allow the Keregeren to escape with the soldiers from the base. He and my brother were reluctant at first, but I opened the cockpit of the machine and stepped out. I heard the fed agree and I thanked him. But just seconds later, much to my horror, Ghinius fired the Mega-particle cannon at several of the federation mobile suits.


Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head


I watched as the suits were vaporized, and then I noticed the sniper, a fed mobile suit painted green. It had what appeared to be a huge beam rifle, and it was aimed at the Keregeren. I watched in disbelief as it fired on it, no doubt killing everyone on board. I stood there for a moment in disbelief, and then I heard my brother say something about how I trusted the federation too much. I argued that they fired because of his actions, but he didn’t seem to care. I furiously stepped back into the cockpit and this time I fired at the fed’s base. After the blast, I noticed Shiro’s mobile suit coming towards the Apsaras.


Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I've got


Ghinius and I got into another argument, about war and then love as he noticed Shiro’s mobile suit. He said something about love being the reason our mother abandoned us, and that love was just a weakness of the glands. I now think that he might have been so angered by the concept of love because he had never really experienced it. It then hit me that this might have been the reason why he became a slave to this horrid machine; that it was all really just an attempt to build an iron womb around himself. It was almost as if this retched beast made out of wires and metal was his attempt to try to replace Mother, and his attempt to create love. I stated my thoughts to him, but he just grew even angrier, and, in an insane rage, drew his pistol against me.


We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again


The last thing I remember before he shot me was trying to talk him into surrendering. I don’t really know what happened from the time he fired the shot to the time I woke up in Shiro’s arms, due to the fact that the bullet knocked me unconscious. I think he must have though I was dead, because when I woke up he was getting ready to fire the Mega-particle cannon on us. But then the feddie sniper I noticed earlier fired on the Apsaras, just missing the cockpit. Shiro and I went flying as the Apsaras’s beam nearly hit us, and I cringed in pain as it burned away part of the back of my normal suit.


You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law


Shiro and I landed with a thud onto the rocky earth. This time he appeared to be knocked out, so I nudged him and called his name. He awoke in a few moments, but his arm was horribly dislocated. But he didn’t seem to care; he just seemed to be grateful that I was alive. I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes as I realized that we were finally together. We embraced each other for a moment, the both of us nearly sobbing, and he asked me how I survived my brother’s bullet. I looked down and came to the realization that it had been the watch Ghinius had given me that saved my life. But I knew that it wouldn’t end with this; the Apsaras still had life in it, and unless Shiro and I stopped it, it would cost countless more people their lives.


You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt


Shiro knew this as well, and we started to walk towards his mobile suit together to try to stop it. We climbed in, and he said that he was going to try to take out the mega-particle cannon. I helped pilot his suit, and we started to move it towards the Apsaras, beam saber drawn. But I noticed the sniper again, and it opened fire on us, burning away much of the suit’s left side and knocking away the beam saber. By now the Apsaras was flying again, and it fired a thin beam through the sniper’s cockpit.


One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should


Shiro and I were still recovering from the sniper’s blast when I saw that Ghinius was preparing a full power beam. I knew that this was to take out us, as well as the fed’s base. I told Shiro, and then he said to me the thing I had been dreading, but knew was inevitable: we had to kill my brother. In my heart, I wanted to stop him, but I knew that if we didn’t kill Ghinius then we would be the ones to die. I said a final goodbye to him, though I knew he couldn’t hear me. I wish he could, and I also wish he knew how regretful I felt and still feel to this day.


One life
With each other
Sisters
Brother


We leapt in front of the Apsaras, and I saw my brother for one final time. I think he must have known what was going to happen next as the fist of Shiro’s mobile suit drew closer to the Apsaras’s open cockpit. I can’t even begin to imagine what must have been going through his mind in his final moments, though. Before I knew it, our mobile suit slammed its fist into the cockpit of the Apsaras and I knew it was over. My brother was dead.


One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One


Ghinius, what have I done?