There's this person....

[Hitokiri]

I dont mind talking on AIM but sometimes, I like my privacy so I don't log into AIM. However my AIM logs in sporadically. Wel, there's this one girl whoose a friend of a online friend who knows them through the internet who was given my screename for some odd reason and wont leave me alone.

I like to comfort people but this girl tells wierd stories about her life that sometimes, I wonder if she's trying to impress me or whatever.

For instance, when she first talked to me, she was saying how she got raped and got stabbed with a knife and how she is afraid of knives. This was within 3 minutes of meeting eachother she told me this. And than 2 days later tells me how at school, some guy hit her with a toy knife and she went into shock for 3 days. Now she's telling me that some person distributed her a pic of her naked around school now she has guys wanting to have sex with her -_-;;;

I feel sorry for her and I want to help her but something doesn't seem geniune. Like everyday, something really bad happens. Yet I don't want to cynical towards her yet it gets annoying. Sometimes, as soon as I log in, before I get a chance to breathe, she IM's me telling me whatever happened to her. I sometimes find myself not logging in or if I log in and see her, I than log out (which is most of the time).

I don't wanna be mean cause if it's true, than this girl needs prayer however something seems wrong about the way she talks that just seems false. Any suggestions?

[Uriah]

Some AIM people are crazy.. I had these two people (A boyfriend and girlfriend, sopposedly,) who were sopposedly friends of a friend of mine trying to get me to try and get a girlfriend? O_o... I told them I wasn't looking for one, but they just wouldn't give up.. I have no idea why it mattered to them in the first place..

[VioletEyedCat]

I too, know people similar to the girl you are describing. I lot of what the girl is saying is probably a lie, a tool to gain attention from others. However, some elements of her stories might be true, and because of that, she needs prayer. If you do not feel comfortable being her Agony Aunt, skim her IMs, politely reply to them with appropriate expressions of sympathy, and avoid saying anything that would invite her to talk more with you about her 'troubles'. If she does not stop, block her. AIM should still have the option for you to do that, if I remember rightly. It is not your responsibility to solve all of her problems, whatever they may or may not be- all you can do is pray that she receives help.

[Maverick]

Hotkiri, I understand what you are going through. I know that many of us with IM software will get people talking to us that we don't know very well, and I think that many of us also have been in a situation like yours. From what it sounds liek to me, this girl desires attention. That is why she IM's you so quickly, and then tells you all her problems. Chances are, she's just lonely, ya know? To her, you are that ear that will listen to what she has to say. What I would recommend is praying for her that she can make friends. Also, maybe try and introduce her to some other friends of yours. That will give her more people to talk to, and will hopefully help her to not feel so lonely.

And if all else fails, and this may sound harsh, but you could always block her. That way, if you just want to log in or something and don't feel like talking, you don't have too. Then, you can just unblock her if you want to talk.

[faithfighter]

Just try and cofort her aleast untill you have an honest reason to beleive she is lying. Maybe its real and God sent her into your life so you can minister to her.
Pray. Ask God to show you what you need to do.

[termyt]

I'm not sure what the best course for you here is, it depends on your own personality. One step would be to block her from AIMing you. That would solve your frustration, but it isn't a very compassionate approach.

Perhaps something to try - just take what she says at face value. In the beginning, it doesn't matter if she telling the truth or not (although I agree that she probably isn't). Ask her questions to probe deeper into her stories. Ask her about her feelings and play devil's advocate with her "antagonist of the day." If you dig closer to the truth, she will probably become uncomfortable and then stop bugging you. There is, however, a chance that the attention you give her will help her face her demons, come clean about her stories, and start to heal. And that would be pretty cool.

[Hitokiri]

So far, I'be just took it with face value and a grain of salt while being compassionate. But I think it encourages her to tell me these "stories" wether they be true or not that sometimes it gets annoying and depressing.

[White Raven]

I know how you feel. Just try and get her to talk about other things. And when she does encourage her.
If she is just trying to gain your attention she probably has low self esteem.
If you find out she is just to much of a nut job, you might want to block her.
I would tell her that some of the things she has said don’t seem true. And I would tell her that I like too talk to her. And that she seems to be a good person. And let her know that she doesn’t have to makeup stories, for me to like her.
It would be better if you do not directly say she is lying. Just say you have doubts.
About your privacy, Just tell her you would like to talk to her but you are to busy at the moment. Make arrangements to talk latter.
And lastly tale the girl about CAA she could make alot of friends on here.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

you could put up the invisible mode... but then nobody else will know you're on except those YOU start chats with or those who know you well enough to randomly try to IM you and voila you are there

[Hitokiri]

you could put up the invisible mode... but then nobody else will know you're on except those YOU start chats with or those who know you well enough to randomly try to IM you and voila you are there

hmmm....that's intresting. My friend does that.

[true_noir_chloe]

I usually always do invisible mode these days. -__-)\ You might want to try that.

Someone had stated introducing her to others. Why? So, she can bother them, as well? Please, reconsider this option. Also, remember to always ask a person before giving away their IM username. In the past, I've had people give away mine, and that is one way to go down on my list of people I trust.

I tend to think that someone being this open about very personal information defintely wants attention and possibly something else.

Let me give you an example of what I think is going on. I think she is sharing sexual experiences and is open about this with you because in a way she is stalking you - you being a male. This girl definitely has issues. I had someone about a year ago - a male - who did the same thing. He'd tell me about this girl and how "hot" she was and then asked what I looked like, but then would turn around and tell me about his church. He then told me about this horrible thing which happened to him and how he cried and tried to sound really needy. I let it go for a few times, thinking he needed counseling. And then he'd IM me out of nowhere and tell me about the wonderful Bible study he went to and how he was getting closer to God.

However, a few conversations later, he found out I had teen-agers. He finally asked, "how old are you?" I wouldn't answer, but I did say, "I''m old enough to have teens." *hehe*

Well, that was the last I heard of him. Thus, all that spiritual talk, spiritual neediness, was him just checking me out.

Anyway, long story shortened - you'll probably have to eventually block her. Beforehand, you should tell her to find a mature Christian WOMAN to talk with about her problems, because you can't help her. I mean really, Hitokiri, you can't. Also, tell her that if she has a church home, to go and talk to one of the women or men she knows to be mature and ask them to mentor her. Tell her that nothing in her life will change without the Lord, first and foremost. Let her know you understand she wants a listening ear, but tell her if these are true that she needs a whole lot more than YOUR listening ear. She needs to be talking to a mature adult, her parents, someone who can give her REAL help.

I always encourage kids who come to me with problems to find a "real life person" that can help them. I allow them to pour their hearts out to me, I really don't mind if it's sincere, but I always direct them to open up to their parents (who really do love them) and to a mature counselor, or mature believer in their church. I then pray that that person is sent to them by the Holy Spirit.

You have to grip reality and realize you can pray for her, listen, but that is it. You need to get them to understand that, as well. You're a nice guy online Hitokiri, and nice online personalities always attract the needy. You have to be careful.

[Scribs]

I suggest blocking.

I block anyone who annoys me, whether I know them or not.