rurouni fic

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rurouni fic

Postby girlninja » Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:47 am

let me know what you thinkor any criticiism you may have ^^

Chapter 1

I am Kianna Strider. No you have not heard my name before. As you read this my existence has even faded from other's memory as well. That is how i want it. I had a mission. One mission. That was to take on the Hitokiri with the name Kenshin Himura.

Why? Many reasons. Revenge being one but that was trivial compared to the hatred i felt for the man. He destroyed and faded into the background but we knew he was alive. And it became my mission to destroy him and i almost did. But im getting ahead of myself for teh story begins much sooner.

Five ywars earlier*

"Kianna."

Kianna looked up from her tea, the steam clouding her features. Her brown hair pulled into a bun held up by chopsticks. She wore a blue kimono, blue hakama pants concealed underneath. Her katana laid beside her.

The messenger bowed, his forehead touching the floor, "A message from the council. They wish to see you."

Kianna nodded. The man bowed again and left, closing the screen door behind him.

So now it begins.

Drinking down the scalding water, she placed the cup gently on the table before her. The sun was bright. The cherry blossoms lay in full bloom, outside the birds chattered.

"Ironic," she whispered, " On such a day of beauty, revenge is plotted, death is planned, and no one knows of the darkness in man's heart."

She stood, holding her katana before her. It's name was okami. Wolf. And that is what i am...the wolf of the crescent moon.

sorry this is only part of it i didn't have time to type up the rest but it'll be soon please keep reading ^^
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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Postby girlninja » Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:17 am

"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous

and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede

ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin

:jump: :lol: :thumb:

"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.

*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^

Nami
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girlninja
 
Posts: 388
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*

Postby true_noir_chloe » Sun Jan 09, 2005 12:07 am

I can't say I will keep reading this, since I'm not a big Rurouni Kenshin fan, but I thought you needed someone to read what you wrote. I know I would be sad if no one read what I wrote. And, it was a relatively short installment, which helped out a lot. *hehe*

I think your writing is decent. It sounds like you have an interesting plot developing here. I might suggest you not use "but" as often as you are using it here. That would be my only suggestion.

Overall, it looks like you have the beginnings of a very good fanfic. Keep adding to this and I'm sure people will eventually come and read it.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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