Why am I this way?

[Jaltus-bot]

Why am I more of an introvert than I used to be?

[jazz]

um, i wish i could help! if it helps at all, i am the same way. i used to be more outgoing.... but lately i'm so shy around people, and i dont' like it....... hmm..... maybe i'm just going crazy!!!!

um, yeah. the point is, i feel your pain....


(random dancing banana)

[Debitt]

=/ I know the feeling, Sheherazade. *hugs*

[Archan]

I'm afraid I don't understand......

But I don't think your an introvert, it was just a moment ago you posted a thread welcoming me back.....that to me seems like a very selfless and outgoing thing to do.

But then again, perhaps I'm taking this to litteral? I'll wait then before I post anymore........

Still don't think your an introvert though

God bless,
Archan

[Mr. SmartyPants]

i have not really noticed. Maybe something triggered it

[Nate]

Uh...because being alone is better than being with people.

[Jaltus-bot]

It actually doesn't feel bad, but it's like like I haven't been on Yahoo or MSN messengers much in like at least a month and I'm not on AIM as much and like I don't want to spam here. I look forward to going to youth group at church more and to a certain extent the college and career (college age) group a little more, but I don't spam here nearly as much, not do I miss it as much as I could. It's like partly I was using the internet to substitute for in person friends, but I still don't see them quite as much and I would think that I would want to talk to people online more, but I don't. I don't get it. There is some other reason why I would rather spend time reading online than interacting with people.

[Jaltus-bot]

I'm afraid I don't understand......

But I don't think your an introvert, it was just a moment ago you posted a thread welcoming me back.....that to me seems like a very selfless and outgoing thing to do.

But then again, perhaps I'm taking this to litteral? I'll wait then before I post anymore........

Still don't think your an introvert though

God bless,
Archan

I'm not saying that I am an introvert. I'm just even less madly "People! People! People!" than I was last year. Compared to a few months ago, I am more comfortable without actually interacting as long as there is something I am interested in. Maybe I am just more comfortable and aside from simply enjoying people and having an interest in them, I use interaction with people as a means of reasureance and affirmation.

[Ducky]

huh, I dunno what's up with that ... but as a fellow introvert welcome to the "hi, i'm anti-social...don't mind me as I hide in this nice corner" club.

but on a more serious note the only advice I can give is based on my own introversion and that tends to get pronounced if I have a personal problem of some sort or if I'm stressed or annoyed with someone or when I'm in a generally bad mood ... could any of that apply to this?

Weird ... but as long as it isn't becoming a real issue on a spiritual level or something I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Archan]

I got like that once....in fact to this day I prefer live interaction with people then online interaction, there just really isn't a subsititue. God made us to interact with people personally, thats why he made us with eye's, nose and ears and not out of one's and zero's or typefaces. I think it's actually healthy that you look more forward to hanging with your youth friends and college buds then instant messaging and such, there's just something about the human expression, reaction, emotion and such that no amount of emotiocons (Is that what they're called? I've been in the college hole of solitutde for too long.....O.o) can subsitute for, even a phone call is more satisfying for me in terms of human interaction.

But then you ask at the end of your response if there is a reason why you would want to spend time reading online then interacting with people, so this still kind of confuses me as to which one you favor more, but it's cool. On the flip side of the coin (Or at least for me) online interaction is more interesting because your interaction with people from different parts of the world simultaneously and they are all on the same level ground as you are when you meet them, everyone's first impression of each other is based off or their reponses and character rather then appearence and such, it's a type of interaction on a whole different level.

As for just being the strong scilent type in general, thats just groovey, I find the strong scilent types are actually the most fascinating and well rounded people I've ever had the pleasure to meet, personally or otherwise.

But there's nothing wrong with it if that's what you mean, some people are just simply more out-going then others, but I like both just fine....I have scilent friends whom I have great conversations and strong friendships with as well as very outgoing people whom I have very....interesting conversations with, yeah thats the word, interesting.... And I'm glad you don't think your an introvert, because like I said I don't think you are.....

But I have had times like that, where I just sit back and listen.....did it mostly through high-school, and I thinks it's all just prefectly healthy, sometimes we just need to listen, ya know?

Anyways, I hope some of this ranting helps....if not lemme know and I too shall remain scilent



God bless,
Archan

[Archan]

GAH! Sorry for the double post, my computer did something really awkward just now...bad computer! bad bad computer!

[Jaltus-bot]

huh, I dunno what's up with that ... but as a fellow introvert welcome to the "hi, i'm anti-social...don't mind me as I hide in this nice corner" club.

Oh! those are my favorite people! The people around the outside are so much easier to meet than the people in the center of a group, and they are nice people.

but on a more serious note the only advice I can give is based on my own introversion and that tends to get pronounced if I have a personal problem of some sort or if I'm stressed or annoyed with someone or when I'm in a generally bad mood ... could any of that apply to this?

Stressed, not likely to much, at least not more than usual. I am free from typing, until January at least Bad mood, only sometimes.

Weird ... but as long as it isn't becoming a real issue on a spiritual level or something I wouldn't worry too much about it.

In a devotional way, I could be doing better (always a hard thing for me), but I really want to learn more of the ideas and reasoning behind my faith and what the Bible says. This is a quote from a thread I made about spam points and the other forums antispam points at theology web:

Having reached the status of senior, I find myself no longer having that immediate posting goal. Thus I am left to consider what is it that I am now here to do? I came here to learn, and to learn as we all should so that we may always be ready to give answer for the hope that is in us and to know what we believe and stand for and why. Spamming more won't teach me much that I don't already know. Whether I actually post enough to gain many antispam points or not but simply read, it is in other sorts of threads that are less familiar where I venture into the far less known where I will do the most learning. I am here to learn. I can't just let that happen to me but I must actively choose it or it will not be. If I value Tweb, I will choose to use this opportunity God has given me. (This is my "I'm taking a break from almost all spam, at least as best I can" thread.)

[Jaltus-bot]

I got like that once....in fact to this day I prefer live interaction with people then online interaction, there just really isn't a subsititue...I think it's actually healthy that you look more forward to hanging with your youth friends and college buds then instant messaging and such, there's just something about the human expression, reaction, emotion and such that no amount of emotiocons (Is that what they're called? I've been in the college hole of solitutde for too long.....O.o) can subsitute for, even a phone call is more satisfying for me in terms of human interaction.

I don't really have many friends at my new college where like have of my classmates were older working, possibly full time, or married and maybe even mothers. I have almost no friends from my old college who have made any effort to contact me now, not that too many did before, but some of the important ones did. Over half of the people there that I IM give me but bare minimal response if I IM then. Basically, with the exception of a couple of individuals, my entire life just about moved back home to a new school and a new church this summer.

[Archan]

Wow.....I can understand now how that can be tough on you.
Hum, so they all moved or simply don't contact you, or your moving? You have to forgive my absent-mindedness.......It's been a long hard couple of months for me and I'm sure it was for you. But regardless, I like to think God puts us in places and in situations for a purpose, be it to just simply be-friend someone or save the world, I believe God always has a reason behind things. I've recently have felt that way at my chruch though, being they aren't the most artistically inclined I'm not really very involved with them, but then God allowed me to work with Virtual Hell and other people from other chruches and now I feel like I've gained an entire new family, I still go to my original church only because I'm faithful and I still do have friends....but I allow myself to visit other churches and use my talents and such.....perhaps this is what you might consider doing. Simply finding your talents and applying them, and just see where God takes you. God knows people are social beings, it's just in our nature to socialize and interact, so rest assured you wont be alone for long, the friends you lost will be replaced....and though you'll miss them (I miss mine), you'll neve be alone. Hey, if worst comes to worst you always have the CAA right?

Hope this helps some....
God Bless,
Archan

[Jaltus-bot]

I changed colleges and am now almost always 40 minutes away from them.
I live 40 minutes from my old college and I commute about tem mintutes up the road to go to the local CC. They just don't contact me now, not that too many did then, but it's more noticible now because I don't even see them anymore. I am the person who could wait around for almost no one to come over and talk to her, or who would go and talk to everyone which is what I did, but it shouldn't always have to be that way.

As for hard couple of months, people online, like from here have been great. I just got the highest college GPA I have yet gotten, which would have been higher if not for the typing class. It's been relaxing, but long as a semester not a quarter, but I did ok. I can totally tell that there is a reason that I am here now. It's given me a chance to see some of the culmination of what God has done in me and I can be involved at church. I would never have been free to be involved while moving back and forth and I would not have been able to be involved in the Christian group on campus as I was not involved in all of the retreats and Thursday lunchtime evangelism. There are a couple of people that I particularly look forward to seeing at youth group and college group and they seem to like me.

[Archan]

Ah, I'm glad to hear things are better then. Ya see, God has a reason for everything, even the little things that turn out to be big gigantic things....

40 min commute huh? I know how that feels, I take a 50-70 min commute to my current college three days out of the week, and thats with good traffic, with bad traffic it usually takes me close to 2 hours to get back home....so I more then feel your pain. The commute gets so bad in fact I just spend the night sometimes in my car and work the night through, especially with the gas prices beign the way they are....ugh!

But your right, you shouldn't need to address everyone all the time to gain their friendship, but sometimes (escpecially in a new setting surrounded by complete strangers) we do need to make the extra effort, escpecially at a secular college because over there people simply just don't care, and all we have left is just that first impression. But don't worry, from the sound of it you've found your calling and moving colleges has actually been the best thing to happen to you, so I think you'll be just fine. and like I said if all else fails you still have us at CAA right?

God bless,
Archan

[Scribs]

Sounds to me as though Archan has done a pretty good job of analyzing this problem. But here is my personal say on intoversion:

I used to be an extravert. then about 5 years ago peole started picking on me so I decided to become less people oriented for a while. It worked. Instead of being a target I was able to observe the main action without getting flack from it. I was also able to make friends with nicer people because instead of forcibly looking for friends I was able to look for them calmly. I also became pessimistic. whether that is good or bad I will leave it up to you to decide.

This was just me it probably doesn't apply to your situation. I just thought I would throw it out there.

[CobaltAngel]

If you don't want to be an introvert, you have to step outside your comfort zone. There's a certain personlity type (which I have also) that finds it naturally easier to be alone. If you pull yourself out of your house and and force yourself to talk to people, after a while you'll get used to it. Its so easy to let yourself fade away from people, I know. But just push yourself a bit, turst me, its worth it. ^^

[ShiroiHikari]

If you pull yourself out of your house and and force yourself to talk to people, after a while you'll get used to it.

it's not easy to do ._. I worry too much about what people think about me, like I get paranoid and start thinking, "wow I'm a moron, they must really think I'm annoying", blah blah blah. or sometimes I get really nervous and can't shut up. then later I kinda beat myself up over it -_- it seems like I can't really stop it...been that way my whole life.

so in general I prefer meeting people online to meeting them in real life. although IRL, sometimes there are people that I click with instantly, but...most of the time that's not the way it goes. really extroverted people make me kinda nervous >_<;;

eh...sorry for venting o_o *scamper*

[CobaltAngel]

Shiroi, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Even some of my closest friends I doubt sometimes because I feel like I might be annoying. But you jsut have to believe in yourself. I used to think I could only connect (no pun intended) with people online until got out into the world and the the country team. I learned that I just have to be confident and be myself, and people either like me or they don't. I know, its easier said than done, and I still have alot of trouble with it because confidense is something that happens over night. *hug* I will pray for you Shiroi~

[Archan]

KAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missed ya! And I don't think your a moron, but dont get me wrong I do think your a little nuts (Especially if you have me for a friend huh? ) J/K!....and feel free to vent, we all need to from time to time, if we didn't we would explode no?

God Bless,
Archan

[Esoteric]

More introverted?? Hmmm. Well, I don't suppose it's too serious. People go thru phases their entire life...constantly changing. Seriously, ever try reading your old diaries and wonder... who is this person?? I don't think you should worry too much about it, unless you get to the point where you don't even want to leave your house!! Just be aware of it and try to 'break the mold' every now and then.

As CobaltAngel said, step out of your comfort zone. Most of the things we do everyday were once outside of our comfort zone.

[ShiroiHikari]

Seriously, ever try reading your old diaries and wonder... who is this person??

I've been there. o_O it makes me feel really bad about myself. it's just like, "ugh, how could I have been so *insert negative adjective here*??" so...I try not to do that very often -_-;

thanks for the support Coby :3 *teh hug*

[Danyasaur]

ennnnngh, I have so much trouble stepping outside of my comfort zone, not as much online as offline, but still online at times too, I get so nervous that people hate me or think I'm annoying too so that causes me to withdraw alot into my "little hole I call my room" and beat myself up or think about what I should've said untill I feel REALLY sick. . . like REALLY sick, it's a problem for me, and it's affected my relationship with some of my friends online, and it keeps getting worse and I don't know what to do except pray. . . it's awefull, please pray for me;;