My poetry

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My poetry

Postby sunet » Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:34 pm

well, here's a poem i had to write for english class. i'm sure i could've done better, but i left it until today & it's due tomorrow :sweat: so i had trouble putting words together :sweat:


War-child

Pounding my fists against the barred door
Sinking to my knees.
Loud screaming anger – reduced to silent tears.

Can no one hear me?

Will I be trapped in here for all eternity,
in time being reduced to nothingness?
Someone’s forgotten memory?

Shoved in an underground dungeon…
For expressing my feelings and thoughts….
My freedom gone in a flash

I am a child of war
A kid in a world where freedom is no more
An orphan who has nothing left

The price of freedom was too high
And I was forced to lose it





We had to write about freedom, but i'm not so sure that message came quite through... :sweat: yet again

---Comments would be appreciated.--- :)
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Postby c.t.,girl » Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:37 pm

it's still really good! :thumb:
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby sunet » Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:46 pm

thanx. :) hopefully my English teacher thinks so too. :sweat:
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Postby sunet » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:52 pm

Here's another one.

(Contains Graphic Imagery )


Saved

Nails lashed out at my face
Knives carved at my heart
Black liquid filled my lungs

The darkness was swallowing me
And I lay drowning

The sound in my ears were foggy and dim,
But I heard it
I heard the dreaded sound of sirens

They were coming
What could I do?
I wanted to run
I wanted to get away

But my legs were binded with heaviness
And chained with pain

They found me


God offered me freedom that night.
A way out

Freedom was a gift from Him
And I took it
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Postby sunet » Thu Oct 14, 2004 7:36 pm

More poems. :P

here's an old one i wrote in a time where i was pretty confused & depressed:

running in the shadowed forest
i can feel you watching me

i am running to you
but i cannot see you

i am blind

please come to me oh Lord
come down oh God
have mercy on me Lord
fill my heart with your love

again i'm running
the shadows are chasing me
they are gaining
the light is fading

evil is lurking out there Lord
Jesus - they are coming for me!
Jesus Christ, I call out to you!
Please save me
save my soul

I want the dark to be parched by your light
All your richness and glory are beyond my grasp
i always miss it

please same me Jesus
before it is too late


of course, Jesus did save me. isn't he awesome?? :jump: :jump: :jump:


I want the dark to be parched by your light


is that possible? 0_o :sweat:
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Postby sunet » Thu Oct 14, 2004 7:38 pm

Black clouds cover your sky
You know no light
You should follow Him
Come and I'll show you why

He will let your spirit know
What your missing deep inside
He will paint you clean
You will become fresh-fallen snow

You will have a guide
No more will you walk alone
You will know where your going
Come, choose a side

You are a child of the dark
come and He will save you
Become a child of the light
Come now and your life will spark
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Postby Anna Mae » Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:29 am

I like your poetry! I like the way you have a rhythm, but intentionally break out of it occationally. I do that all the time. Keep it up!
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby sunet » Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:54 pm

Anna Mae wrote:I like your poetry! I like the way you have a rhythm, but intentionally break out of it occationally. I do that all the time. Keep it up!


thank j00. ^_^
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Postby Nikki_fallingup » Tue Nov 02, 2004 1:15 pm

Inspiring!!!
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Postby agasfas » Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:19 pm

hey, I'm a bit late on the post but thought I'll give my thoughts. Honestly, great poem. When younger I could never put my thoughts on paper as good as you have. I say keep it up, poetry is always fun to read. I look forward to any future poems (if any). GOod work :thumb:
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.." Prov 17:22

The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.
Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.
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Postby sunet » Wed Nov 03, 2004 5:26 am

^_^ thank you guys. ^_^
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new poem

Postby sunet » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:21 pm

okay, well i wrote this one today. it's kinda really messed up. 0_o
it's about anger & depression i guess. i have this huge problem with controlling my temper - but only with my family members. i don't know why. i find it really hard to control & when i do it kinda turns into depression. and then my parents keep on nagging me to telling them what's wrong when really they're the problem, but also it's not really them, it's me. okay, i'll stop talking now. here's the poem:

Why can't you understand?
Why don't you leave me be?

I told you I wanna be alone
Now get away from me

I have told you that so many times
Now please for once - listen

If you don't, you know what will happen
You know what I wil say

I'll just end up hurting you
That is, what I always do

I am so very sick of this life
Sometimes I wish... I wish I could end it with a knife

I think about it often Lord,
but I know, I know it's wrong

Through all this time,
you're the only reason that has kept me holding on

Oh Father
I cry out to you

Almighty Power
Please help me overcome this darkness inside of me

It's supressing me,
Depressing me

And once again, I'm drowning


note: okay, just to reassure anyone who'd care, i do think about suicide sometimes, but i'll never ever do it, i'm pretty sure about that.
also, i'm sorry this poem is soooo bad. 0_o if i get time maybe i'll try to fix it. if that's even possible
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Postby Anna Mae » Tue Nov 09, 2004 5:13 am

Don't feel like you have to fix it. Poetry would get awefully dull if everything was happy-happy-joy-joy. It's beautiful just the way it is.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby sunet » Thu Nov 11, 2004 1:51 pm

thank you!! ^_^
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Postby wilson1112000 » Sun Nov 14, 2004 7:10 pm

Its amazeing. Your poems are like verses from Psalms. They are so beautiful. Its...wow. That's all I can say.
Praise the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your might, for that is what we were created for.
----------------------------------------------------------------
We've got to speed things up in this hotel. Chef, if a guest orders a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes.
If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute.
If he orders a one-minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out for himself.


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You decide.
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Postby sunet » Tue Nov 16, 2004 12:40 pm

wilson1112000 wrote:Its amazeing. Your poems are like verses from Psalms. They are so beautiful. Its...wow. That's all I can say.


:red: thank you very much! :jump:
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Postby Anna Mae » Tue Nov 23, 2004 5:16 am

I look forward to reading more of your writing. Will you be sharing more?It's very good! :)
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby sunet » Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:30 pm

Here's a little something I came up with while I was supposed to sleep last night. XD
I guess when you think about it, it's kinda scary.
also, this poem is not.about.me.
oh, and behold - the last word of every 2nd sentence actually rhymes!!! :wow!:

Forever Here

Here I am again
Alone at our meeting place

Leaning against the tree
Infront of me I see your face

But when I reach out to touch it
It always dissapears

I still can't believe you're gone
It's been so many years

Why, did you take your life?
Why kill such a beautiful thing?

You used to always give me joy
Now it is only pain that you bring

I'm forever being chased by you
You haunt me even in my dreams

I'm drowning in my sorrow
But never dying, so it seems

I can hear you whispering
I should not be hearing such

I mean, you're never coming back
It scares me very much

I realize now that you, are still here
That death did not do us apart

You're living on inside my mind
and not just in my heart

I wish now that I can block you out,
Make you go away

But I guess I'm going crazy now
And so you're here to stay.
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Postby sunet » Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:37 pm

here's a really short one:

Happiness

What does it feel like?
What does it taste like?
What, I cry
What, oh happiness?

I can not remember
All I have forgotten
All you have stolen away

Ye, that is how it left me
How happiness was lost
It's all because of you,
It's all your fault

So now I sit here
On the ground
Tears falling down my face
Making not a sound

I shall never forget your face
And I shall never be happy again

For when you left you took my joy
And sadness is all I know
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Postby sunet » Wed Nov 24, 2004 2:03 pm

Death Of A Wolf

Run! They are after us
We have to get away

Already we have lost two loved ones
Beloved members of our pack

I never thought the hunters would come
I never thought they would find us

But I guess I was wrong, very wrong
And now it'll cause me my death

For already I feel my energy draining
Cold blood fingers holding me down

Do not cry for me
I shall be fine

It is you I am worried about

Do not cease to run
Go on and on
Until freedom, is in sight.

So here and now my vision blurry, I shall
depart from this earth
One more shot, I felt them give me
and so to my doom I fall

Sinking to my knees into the snow
White and red all around me

My eyes fluttered. Fluttered.
Fluttered.
My eyes fluttered.
Closed.
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Postby sunet » Thu Nov 25, 2004 7:30 pm

here's another one. see the attachment for it. it should not take long to load though. it's just a simple little thing i did in paint.
anyway, to read it in order, just follow the frames like they're numbered. 1-3 also, i hope everyone's able to read the words. i think i might've made them a little bit too small...0_o sorry 'bout that.
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Postby Anna Mae » Fri Nov 26, 2004 11:56 am

Great!
Excellent!
Wonderful!
Superb!
On the one about the wolf, the ending is especially well done.
In general, good writing. Keep it up!
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby sunet » Fri Nov 26, 2004 3:38 pm

^_^ thank you!!! ^_^
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Postby Razgriz » Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:58 pm

These are very nice! Continue to write more! :thumb:
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Postby sunet » Wed Dec 01, 2004 2:13 pm

thank you!!! ^_^
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Postby sunet » Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:33 am

just something i wrote the other day...

All these words are sinking me
What did I do to recieve them?
All I do is try to be
But no matte what I fail

I feel so small
I feel so weak
Alone in a hateful world

Why can't you get to know me first
and then speak your opinion?

I hear what you say and I feel your words
So cold and cruel they are
By talking about me
My world is slowly
coming to an end

These feelings of doubt
are spreading like flames
And I fear they are
to big to put out

It's getting so hard
to keep my head up
for you are always
pulling it down

So here I am
Trying to cope
But your poison's
destroying me

All I have is the One
He's my only hope

But still it's hard
to not be scared
of those who
wanna run me down
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Postby sunet » Sat Dec 11, 2004 8:52 pm

another one....
(dude. i should really stop writing depressing poems :stressed: )

This pain won't go away
It feels stronger every day
Stronger than You

Or is it just me?
Trying to avoid
my own reality?

'Cause nothing's going right
and it is all my fault
Nothing that I do
Is right in the eyes of you

How can I escape?
From this dreamworld of mine?
I am drowning in the lies
Blocking You out

My sould is seeking something
Yet I won't let it search
I'm keeping it inside myself
But I have had enough

So take me away
To a better place
Where I can fly
And see a happy face

For so long my world has been dark
Dark
Alone
Quiet

So help me to leave myself
Come to my rescue Lord

'Cause I don't know how much longer
I can survive without Your Love

I'm falling into a hole
So take my hand and pull me out

I trust you
I trust you

Please come and take my hand...
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Postby Razgriz » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:21 pm

They are really good poems! You're a really good poet :thumb: keep up the good work!
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Postby sunet » Sun Dec 12, 2004 1:59 pm

thank you! :hug:
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Postby Anna Mae » Mon Dec 13, 2004 5:09 am

I can relate to these poems. Well done.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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