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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 12:56 am

The early in my brother's and the beginning of my formal education involved certain issues with the public school and with safety. This is why we started homeschooling. We moved at the beginning of 7th grade and my mom got really sick She was sent home to die in 1996. Although she is alive and almost as healthy as I expect her to ever get, I have never told anyone the whole story of that; I've only simply said she got really sick or medical problems or something like that. Both medical expenses and homeschooling have cost my family a lot of money. Every member of my immediate family is asthematic and takes medicine for it. I take 5 prescription, medicines for ADD, asthema, and allergies. That is why I will need my own medical insurance in a couple of years.

We finally moved to a nice area, where life could have been more like of should be and my mom got really sick. She would fall asleep every afternoon and was almost down to 50% lung function. No one I knew at least of my peers or the people I would think should be my friends seemed to be really interested in understanding what was going on. I mean the aquaintences I had at church, like from youth group. I only had one person I considered kind of close friend. The rest were more like aquaintences. I think 'cause I didn't feel like I had someone to do that, I just bottled up some of the emotions. But I never really told anyone much about that.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby c.t.,girl » Mon Sep 06, 2004 1:00 am

wow. i'll pray for you and her and any1 else. i hope sumday we'll be great friends and we can swap stories.
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby Mave » Mon Sep 06, 2004 6:07 am

I'm glad you're sharing about it now. I guess I will not be able to understand your situation completely but I can try my best to listen. My father is under medication for high blood pressure and some of my family members died from cardiovascular diseases. I'll pray for healing and guidance for your family. Stay strong for the rest of your family and God bless!
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:39 am

May God bless you
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Postby Esoteric » Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:54 am

That's terrible. I'm so sorry. I will pray for your family. No wonder you want to help people with asthma...
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 11:01 am

When I read my last post, it makes me feel nervous, maybe because I have never put so much into into words like that before.

There has usually been something that was being dealt with. When I was too young to now remember I would puke like every night after my parents took care of my brother stopping breathing. Then there was the public school district we lived around-long story not all of which I consider myself at liberty to discuss for the sake of those involved and because I was only indirectly involved. They actually admitted that my family would be better off homeschooling. There was the ahem, (sarcasticly) charming kid down the street who is dead now probably from a gang incident. There was the ADD, perceptual motor, etc. stuff while my mom started homeschooling and the generally decreasing quality of the neighborhood-including the gangs, an adult one of which that was in the moble home behind us appearantly changed the behavior depending on whether or not my dad was home. Onetime I went the to park around the corner from us with my brother. He helped defend me when this kid gang there tried to attack us. It was the last time we went to the park and the little rocks that they threw hurt. It was very good my brother was there with me. The family accross the street from us had an alcoholic, at least verbally abusive husband who would come home and fight with his wife every Thursday night. It was very sad. She went into thyroid dementia and exhibited stalker behavior towards my family. The place was becoming a spiritual stronghold for evil and we were the last Christian family that we knew of to leave.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Kat Walker » Mon Sep 06, 2004 11:24 am

My brother and I have asthma (his is more serous though, being in athletics has actually helped me breathe better) and he's autistic on top of that, so I emphathize with the medical expenses. Luckily, our grandparents help out because they get prescriptions for a lot of the same things we have to take, God really blessed us on that one.

I'm so sorry that your mother has been so ill, but thankful that she's still there for you. It sucks about your neighborhood, too....I lived in a fairly nice one (mostly older people, no kids to bully us around) but to make up for that I attended all the worst public schools in town. Ugh, do I have stories. >.>;

Anyway, thanks for opening up, it seems like you don't get to talk about it as much as you'd like. It's a really cool feeling to know someone trusts you enough to share stuff like that. *hugs*
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Postby CobaltAngel » Mon Sep 06, 2004 11:29 am

That sounds horrible, I can't even compriehend. ._. Dude, its probably best you said something *hug* I'll pray for you.
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 12:30 pm

Am I sheltered? My parents did keep me from some of the stuff that was happening, but not what I've put here except that I don't know that I fully understood that my mom was sent home to die.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby CobaltAngel » Mon Sep 06, 2004 2:16 pm

I hate to sound.... discouraging....but our only true shelter is God. nything can happen. But I think you're probably making a wise decition, although I do think having contact with people is important.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:26 pm

its really hard to cope with problems. I have probably some obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and ticcing. phobias of insects, unlocked doors and windows, sometimes germs. And loud noise.
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:32 pm

CobaltAngel wrote:I hate to sound.... discouraging....but our only true shelter is God.

I don't find that remotely discouraging. I would rather trust Him for shelter than anyone else. He has done so much. :) praise God.

But I think you're probably making a wise decition,

In homeschooling?
although I do think having contact with people is important.

That is why I went to youth group at church through-out Jr. high and high school. I met so many people when I first got to college. Now that I have transferred to an all commuter school, I am looking for something to get involved in. People help me to appreciate life. I like people. People are very important.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Yojimbo » Mon Sep 06, 2004 3:43 pm

Sher I'm glad you're sharing this with us all. I've had to deal with gangs and drugs. But most of that was my own fault. I can remember one time when I was nearly killed, God was deffinetly watching out for me that day... I'll write a testimony one day but not now.
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:47 pm

I think the part about my mom is the hardest because that starts the part that I was more aware of and I felt like it impacted me more. Everything else seemed to come from outside, this didn't. It's hard to write about because I have strong feelings attached, maybe not as much right away, but looking back now at least. We had finally moved away from everything and there was something that one couldn't simply move away from. The health of my mom who has done so much for we will never be the same again. For all the good that came out of it, I wonder if it had to be that way. I wish my dad had wanted to move earlier.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby PumpkinKoRn52 » Mon Sep 06, 2004 4:52 pm

Sorry about all the bad stuff in your life. I'm also sorry that these apologies can do nothing for you. I wish I could do something for you other than say I'm sorry.
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 5:28 pm

PumpkinKoRn52 wrote:Sorry about all the bad stuff in your life. I'm also sorry that these apologies can do nothing for you. I wish I could do something for you other than say I'm sorry.

[font=Times New Roman]Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God]
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Sep 06, 2004 7:28 pm

My friend, :hug: I know its been very hard for you. Its good to share this - its very releasing. We'll continue to pray for you. Talk to me via IM or Pm if you need.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 7:55 pm

Thank you.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby c-girl » Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:03 pm

Oh! *hugs Sheherazade* That's so sad! >.< I am very happy that you are sharing this with us.. I admire your courage. >^^<
I live to love and love to live! >^.^<
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Mon Sep 06, 2004 9:39 pm

I'll start with my mom has fibromyalgia, migrains, multiple chemical sensitivities, allergies, asthema, plus every once in a while injuries from fibrospasmed muscles or something. About the 50% lung function, my mom has been typically breathing a bit better for the last several years, and when it started, there would have no one to watch my brother and I.

My mom had an anaerobic dental infection near the beginning when I was in Jr. high. Yes, anaerobic. They drilled a little whole in her tooth to make it go away.

There are three kinds of fibromyalgia. I think there was like a depressive one, a more painful one, and manic-dessive? I don't know. My mom has the more painful one.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Thu Sep 09, 2004 7:48 pm

It's hard to
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:47 pm

:eyeroll: thank you
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:07 am

I need a blog.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:55 am

s a pretty cool
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Postby kaji » Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:42 am

Thanks for shairing sheherazade.
Through this mesh of wires and circuts its easy to miss who people really are, or what they may really be struggling with in thier lives. Im glad that I was able to get to know you a little better.

I also agree with Volt,
Volt wrote:That is what is going to help you succeed. Because even thought you don't have anything to brag about, you'r still loyal and devoted to God, and he just loves it when people do that. Prepare to be blessed in the near future.

The faith and hope that you have is an awsome foundation for God to build upon, with out it, anything built would just crumble in the wind.

Keep it up! (the faith, that is)

Im happy to have been able to meet you here at CAA. ;)

-kaji
Depend on it. God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply. He is too wise a God to frustrate His purposes for lack of funds, and He can just as easily supply them ahead of time as afterwards, and He much prefers doing so.
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Tue Sep 14, 2004 8:40 pm

To almost finish this off. My blog.
http://1000desertsands.blogspot.com/
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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The end

Postby Jaltus-bot » Wed Sep 15, 2004 11:11 pm

PM if you want the other blog.
The end.

Thank you very much everyone who posted. It really does mean a lot to me that you chose to do that.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby c.t.,girl » Wed Sep 15, 2004 11:28 pm

like i said, i'm always here. :hug:
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Wed Sep 15, 2004 11:31 pm

C.T.,girl, you are a real quality friend.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby termyt » Thu Sep 16, 2004 5:45 am

Thanks for sharing with us Sheherazade. I'll be sure to visit your blog.
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