The Preparation (poem)

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The Preparation (poem)

Postby SwordSkill » Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:35 am

A year ago I took up a poetry-workshop course for a semester and we were regularly required to submit drafts of poetry, which would be critiqued (a euphemism for "torn and ripped into shreds," lol) by everyone in the class, including the professor. XD This was the very first one I submitted; my professor's reaction to it was rather dampening, so by the time I revised it into a final draft, it was barely recognizable. :sweat: Anyway, this one here is still the first raw draft...quite frankly, I'm still more fond of it than of the final draft even until now.

The Preparation

She stares thoughtfully
From the window of her room
Through the broken panes of glass, and
Sees life swarm in and out
On the roads and in the stalls,
Across the wide world,
Pulsing fiercely as one, yet by their own beatings,
Like the stars
Marking the night sky.

She draws the blinds shut
With the image of God’s likeness imprinted in her mind
As she pulls a drawer, and
Takes two guns – a pistol in each hand -
And nestles them in her palms,
Comfort and resentment raging in her eyes
Like hungry lions on a carcass,
Pitting supremacy and strength
Against each other.

She slides them into the holsters
Around each of her legs
Hastily, wanting to forget, yet
She still hears the surge of a flood of tears
As she pulls the straps tight;
Not her tears, not her own,
For they were lighter than hers:
Those tears the living would cry for their dead;
They were lighter than her own.

She fastens the buttons of her coat
(Quickly, but not too quickly),
Concealing her guns from view, and
Pulls a hat over her head
To hide her eyes.
She turns to look at the window
Covered by the blinds,
And sees no life.

Each step is measured, determined,
Yet uncertain of its ambition
As she reaches the door, and
Twists the brass doorknob -
The same hollow steps she takes everyday
Since Cain killed his brother.
The door closes without a sound
As Death leaves to claim another, her hat hiding
The tears falling harder than our own.
*Insert witty saying here*
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Postby c.t.,girl » Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:44 am

whoa. man... that ... is ...deep. as i was reading it i could imagine everything going on it was so cool! but also sad. i hope you do more! i love poetry!

*munkees crying in the background*
me: it's okay munkees. it's okay.
munkee: oooooah aaaaah oo oo owah
me: they said the loved it.
*goes back to cumfort munkees*
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Sun Sep 05, 2004 8:13 pm

Whoa, another very nice piece of writing from you. ^__^ Wonderful!

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby shadowblade » Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:33 am

Wow, it definitely was very deep. Even though it was sad, I really enjoyed this piece. These two lines stuck with me:

The same hollow steps she takes everyday
Since Cain killed his brother.

They were the most powerful to me, anyway. Very awesome, and I hope to read more from you. :)

Proud Member of the Challengers Guild ^_^


Life is not about us using God for our purposes, but about Him using us for His purposes.

Faith is not creating a false reality, but acknowledging God's promises for us.

The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper than the ones your clinging to
Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
And take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of the dreams I dream for you
-Avalon


[color=Navy]Bill: Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened.
Besides, we told ourselves to listen to this guy...
Ted: But what if we were lying?
Bill: Why would we lie to ourselves?
-Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
[/color]
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