err... I need help...

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:20 pm

There's a girl that goes to my church, she's a year younger. And recently she's been calling a lot and IMing me a lot and wanting to hang out and stuff. And I like the kid, she's really nice, but we don't share much in common. I don't have a problem talking to her or anything, but I really don't want to hang out with her, going back to that not haveing any similar interests thing.... So, what should I do?

I don't want to be mean or anything, by no means! She is a sister in Christ you know! ...Does not wanting to hand out with this person make me a bad person now...?

Ah, nymph...
:sniffle:

-Vash

Postby **Angel37** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:23 pm

You like them smileys don'tcha Kei-chan? Do I know this chick? *thinks* I dunno what to say...I usually just grin and bare it for as long as possible or find some excuse not to....ugh...it's a reeeeally delicate situation...
-Crash

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:27 pm

Smilies are awesome! Yeah, but that could be considered lying, can't it?

Postby **Angel37** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:29 pm

Depends. Like I said, it's a delicate situation. Do I know her?
-Crash

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:35 pm

Postby **Angel37** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:39 pm

Ok. Hmm...you got me there Kei-chan.
-Angel

Postby **One and Only** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:56 pm

just dont hang out with her alot... thats all i can think of... just say you arent in the mood or somethin

To Write Love on Her Arms · Postby **ZiP** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:03 pm

it doesnt make you a bad person, just tell her you don't feel like it if you really don't.
Eventully she'll get over it and forget why she wanted to hangout in the first place.

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:04 pm

ZiP wrote:Eventully she'll get over it and forget why she wanted to hangout in the first place.

LOL!

Postby **Yahshua** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:14 pm

Ah in the book of John there Jesus says by this they would know you are my follower if you love one another. Vash is a plant my anime loving sister in Christ I can understand your view point of not have similer interest and you just don't want to hang out with her but let step back and think this in another way similer interest between you and her can develop over time the question is do you want to? And it may I mean may take one time for both of you to hang out to understand each other and see that you have similer interest or maybe you and her can develop an similer interest together such as showing her the anime. At worst you don't want just avoiding her and make you seen unkind or unloving which you are not. So for the best suggestion I have so far just hang out with her for once. And May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of the Heavenly Father, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you always and forevermore.

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:21 pm

:hugs Yahshua: Thanks!!! ^.^

Postby **termyt** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:54 pm

I like what Yahshua said. Wait a minute, we should speak face to face.

*Walks over to closet and opens door*

I think you should give the girl a chance. First of all, she's younger than you and is probably looking up to you. You want to reflect Christ onto her. I know that's a ton of responsibility and a huge guilt trip to lay on someone, but that's the way it is.

Another thing is, she obviously likes you and thinks you are at least a little bit interesting or she wouldn't want to hang out with you. So, share your interests with her. Perhaps she'll like anime or any of the other things you're into. That will give you common ground and a chance to find out more about her. If you truly have nothing in common and she simply doesn't like the things you do, then that will become obvious after a time and you will drift apart, but you will still be friends of a sort.

In the end, the best reason I can think of for giving it a try is this: Why not? It may take some time to get to know her, but can you really say that trying to get to know her will ruin your life or prevent you from having any fun? Is it going to do you any harm? On the other hand, will she be better off with you as a friend? Will she have a good example of how to treat people younger and less cool than her self?

Sorry if that sound like I was dumping on you. I wasnâ€™t trying to. Oh wait, I see why.
*Flips Parent-Mode switch off*

Anyway, take it for what itâ€™s worth â€“ my opinion. Good luck.

*Closes closet door*

Postby **Ducky** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 8:20 pm

Just to throw my two cents (asuming that she's a christian) you have Christ in common and what better common ground is there than that? (if she isn't then there's an even better to be friends with her if she looks up to you the way she apparently does)

I know it stinks to hang out with people who don't always have the same intersts the same thing happened to me and Lynx in ninth grade. There was a girl in our gym class who had practically no friends she attached herself to us and because of that influence lynx invited her to youth group and she is now a christian so you never know what kind of influence you might have on her by just tolerating having her around. (now i feel like i just gave a lecture...)

Postby **Jaela** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 12:09 pm

Ok this is all I have to offer, being a "Younger girl" myself...

"Sometimes exact opposites can be the best of friends. If you have everthing in common, you'll just get bored. If you have nothing in common, you have so much to talk about."
-Jolene, singer-songwriter and poet

Postby **Golden_Griff** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 8:07 pm

I remember maybe five years ago my neighbor's 2 boys was playing outside one afternoon and I just happened to be out there. Now these kids are at least 5 or 6 years younger than myself. For some reason they showed a strange interest in asking me to join them in their games. We would play for hours, until the sun went down if I recall correctly. It was okay...for the first few days...

But then it became a constant everyday thing. Worst of all, I got really tired of playing outside with them doing the same exact stuff (now that I look back I think we did practicularly nothing but talk about bugs and stuff). They were even coming in MY yard waiting for me to come out! Soon, I just stopped going outside at all, doing all I could to avoid contact with them. At that time I didn't know how to tell them that I didn't want to play outside with them anymore. I don't know what they thought of me then (or now). It's not that I didn't like the kids, but I really weren't interested in playing outside with them for hours and hours anymore.

But don't let that discourage you :sweat:

I say go for it. Sure you may not have the same interests but the way I look at it you could learn different things from each other. But as it was mentioned, I wouldn't just ignore her because then she may think of you in a negative way. If I thought to do it then, I may have talked more with those two boys about what things I was interested in doing (which may have included whether or not I felt like playing outside).

Give it a try. And be honest in your conversations to each other so that there are no pressumptions or any misunderstandings. If it turns out that you two are too different to become good friends then so be it. If you two find that you have some really good times together then you both gain a new friend!

:poke:

Postby **Vash is a plant** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 2:02 pm

*Comes out of closet*
Thanks you guys! I'll give it a try, but it really seems like we're from two different worlds...

I don't like the thought of ignoring people because I know what that feels like. But I also have a low tolerance for being annoyed.. -_-;

Going back to the "two different worlds" thing, a lot of the things that she finds important, I find trivial, like what one is wearing and stuff, it's not personally appealing. I don't know what to do about that, because I don't want to disrespect her, but yet I can't help but to not be interested. Showing her anime does sound like a good idea; I'll let her borrow CCS manga, hopefully she'll like it! ^.^

Once again, thanks and BTW, she is in deed a Christian! ^.^

-Vash
*Goes back into closet*

Postby **Swordguy** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 2:17 pm

acutaly i have a simular story like that i was the younger one but i don't belives it was that exstream. actualy i found this out like two years later. My freind told me this while we where in prayer at that fact of how he didn't quite like to be around me but now he thanks God he was. Now he is one of my best Friends and strong brother in the Lord.

Postby **One and Only** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 2:20 pm

course if it was me i would just say kindly "back off"

Postby **Morluna** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 3:53 pm

you're not required to hang out with someone just because they are a fellow Christian....you must love them....but if you don't really have anything in common with the girl and you don't particularly want to hang out all the time...then by no means do you have to...talk to her and be her friend yes, but be her bosom buddy..no.

err... I need help...

err... I need help...

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