Regretful actions :(

[Mave]

I don't know why but the last few days, some of my actions have been idiotic.


EXAMPLE 1
While playing a game, I kept letting out words I shouldn't say. For example,

Friends: "My precious" *imitating that dude in LOTR* hehe
Mave: *irritated* 'My precious', my butt
Other friend: Ooohh, I never thought you'll say something like that.
Mave: Why not?
Other friend: Well, it's something 'church girl' shouldn't say.
Mave: Bah.

Seconds later, regrets filled her heart. 'Other friend' is a specific individual she's been trying to evangelize to for quite a while. She feels like she's blown it completely by setting a bad example of what a christian should be. And she allowed her pride to prevent her from humbly saying, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

I tried to justify myself but saying "'Butt' isn't such a bad word....right?" Just as I tried to justify myself for typing, "Hell no...." Yeah right, but I still feel bad saying/typing that.


EXAMPLE 2
While watching friends play a game, Mave accidentally blurts something she shouldn't say (thus giving away someone's position aka messing up that person's win). Everyone starts chiding her, "Mave, keep quiet!" "Geez, you shouldn't have said that, you spoiled it!" "Mave, just don't say anything anymore, OK!?"

Mave gets so angry at herself and everyone's responses, she gets up and runs into the bedroom and slams the door. She screams in frustration, "I'm so stupiddd!!!!! Arrrgghhh why did I say that?"

Seconds later, she regrets acting like a kid, running off and slamming the door. (It's not even "her" apartment. >_<) She can't understand why she acted that way, being so reactive to everyone's responses. I should have had more self-control of my feelings and pride. I threw a tantrum among non-believers. What do they think of me as a Christian now? I feel so foolish and feel that I've failed Jesus.



Maybe it's late at night and I'm tired. Maybe I'm going through PMS or whatever mood swing. What's wrong with me? I feel so disgraceful. Even if it seems like a small matter, but I believe non-believers notice little things like that. What if I discouraged my non-believer friends from accepting Christ because of my actions? *bitterly cries* What should I do with my feelings of regret?

[inkhana]

What should I do with my feelings of regret?

Give 'em over to God and forgive yourself.

I've said my share of stupid things in my life. Heck, even now I'm not exactly what you'd call a shining example of Christianity. The friends you're trying to evangelize should realize that you're human and Christians make mistakes just like everyone else. If not, then they're kidding themselves. Let it go...you'll have another chance. *nodnod*

[Hitokiri]

if that "my precious" thing gets you irrtated Mave..then you shouldn't be around me. I do a dead-on impression of Gollum/Smeagle (the dude from LOTR). I actually have fans you love to see me do the Gollum/Smeagle thing. Actually this morning there was a skit for VBS and they had me come out and grab a soccer ball and say "my precious" and run off....lot of people loved it.

but anways I regret alot of stuff...some stufff i cant say here but others arent as bad.

Just trying to remember them.

oh yeah I regret this one to this today and its been over a year...I got in a bad argument with my dad. My dad is a fire fighter and I told him I hope he dies in a fire when he goes to work. That hurt him very deep and I felt so sick I wanted to die.

Also I got a new fish for our fish tank and I had aone before (it's called a Red-Tail Shark) and it lived peacefully in my tank. However my dad got one a while back that was fairly large and it atatcked all his fish as soon as it entered the tank. We got one for free cause it was "agressive". Over a span for 5 days, every morning we'd see a dead fish. The only type of fish that died however were our family favroites and we had 8 now we have 3. Also one of my favorite fish was killed as well. We were not sure what kileld all the fish but saturday (yesterday) we deterimmined it was the shark so it took 3 hours to get him ou tof the tank. We had to take all the rocks an dplants out and we foudn stuff liek cords messed up an dhad to fix that. Twas terrible just for one fish. Then I had to take it back to the fish guy whooses a good friend of ours and have him say "i told you so" cause he told us it owuld do that. so anyways we have 7 fish dead thanks to that fish.

[Lynx]

yup yup *agrees with inkhana*

ya gotta trust God. He's the one that has to draw your non-Christian friends to Him. pray about what happened. God will take care of the situation, just trust Him to do so:)

[Kinkosami]

I agree with the others. You need to forgive yourself, everyone makes mistakes.
I've said and done so many stupid things, and I almost always regret it. But some things I don't really regret. Even though I know I probably shouldn't do them.

For example, I have a little problem with bossing around my siblings. And I justify my actions with "Well nobody else is gonna tell them to do it, so I might as well." I tend to come across impatient and angry, making my siblings pretty annoyed and upset.

It's good that you regret your actions, because you know you did wrong. You realize that you made a mistake and will strive to not do it again.

Just know that God is there and you can trust him. He will always forgive you.

Isn't it great that we have such a forgiving God?

[Lunis]

O_O I didn't know the "My Precious" thing irritated you! I've been saying it a lot on the boards. *feels bad*

[JediSonic]

Aww cheer up mave... its like Inkhana and Kinkosami said: everyone makes mistakes, the important thing is you know you did wrong and strive to do better!

[termyt]

I'd echo inkhana, but she speaks for herself well enough.

I will add:

Learn from what happened so you can stop it from happening that way in the future.

You didn't ruin anyone's chance at salvation, BTW. It's still there choice to make.

[CobaltAngel]

I'm sure everyone on these boards has done something of this nature. I mean, we're human. That doesn't make it right or justify it, but its a fact of life. Don't worry about it, just keep doing your best to be a good christian exsample. Easier said than done, I know. ^^;;

[Golden_Griff]

Oh man, there are too many things that I've done that I regret, some that I still kick myself in the head for time to time. I haven't done any real harm to anyone (physically) but my actions were nevertheless stupid If you ask, God will forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself too (how ironic of me to say ).

I've said my share of stupid things in my life. Heck, even now I'm not exactly what you'd call a shining example of Christianity. The friends you're trying to evangelize should realize that you're human and Christians make mistakes just like everyone else.

I wanted to comment on this. Although reaching a state of perfection is impossible because we are human, I believe as Christians we should always work to become perfect in the eyes of God. What I mean by that is we shouldn't sin willingly (i.e. stealing a television from a store) and continue to hinder ourselves from growing closer to God. Instead, we should work to become the best servants we can be by growing stronger in spirit and faith.

I think that non-believers should know that Christians are humans just like everyone else and therefore make mistakes too. I think there are a lot of non-believers out there that think "Oh well I can never be a Christian because I'm not perfect" or "Christians think they're better than anyone else," etc. But the only difference between a non-Christian and a Christian is that one is for the world and one is for God.

[Mave]

Thanks everyone, I'll work on being more forgiving to myself and to try to control my moods.

Actually, I don't get annoyed by the imitation of Gollum (somehow I forgot his name heh), Lunis and Hitokiri. I have other friends who do it and I find it funny. ^^

It's just that in the last few days, I get easily irritated for no apparent reason. 0.o In order not to hurt anyone, I "retreat" and reduce interaction with others. I always try my best to practise "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all." My way of handling anger and crankiness is mostly by withdrawal from the crowd.

Of course, I can't completely cut out human interaction. Yesterday, my friend was terribly hyper and said the craziest things. Under normal circumstances, I can handle (and even enjoy) her whackiness but it takes all my strength to hold my tongue when I'm feeling irritated instead. ^^; It doesn't help when that specific group of friends are non-believers.

I don't really know why I'm feeling cranky. Maybe it's a female thing? Does PMS really exist? (heh I already know the response to this from a certain CAA member).

My questions now are, "Does everyone else deal with mood swings too and if so, how do you deal with them to control your words and actions?"

[Ducky]

mood swings? if that includes randomly snapping at family members due to irrational anger at stuff that doesn't normally make you mad and in fact is generally humorous then yeah i do that. I deal by ignoring or staying away from the people in question until i cool off (usually by severly berating myself or praying guess which works better lol) and then i usually go and apologize afterward.

[uc pseudonym]

As was already stated, I think you may be a bit hard on yourself. Many people do notice things like that, but you should still forgive yourself. Also, they will be relatively inconsequential compared to your overall attitude.

One thing I might suggest, particularly for the second example: have you apologized and asked for forgiveness? That's something that almost no non-believers do. I obviously don't know your friends, but among mine it is a complete shock and has helped solidify my Christian status.

Mood swings... I don't know, I'm pretty good at handling that type of thing intrinsically, so I might not be the best person to answer your question. I've found that I am most helped by:
1) Praying (briefly)
2) Playing a mindless game
3) Discussing the issue (for longer lasting issues, some time after the fact)

But people are different. I can only hope it could help.

[Golden_Griff]

My questions now are, "Does everyone else deal with mood swings too and if so, how do you deal with them to control your words and actions?"

Yes, I have mood swings at times. I've been known to punch in a wall over continuously dropping a pencil. So how do I deal with mood swings? I scream for the duration of the time I'm chasing the nearest person around with a mallet. Lol, just joking.

When I get in a bad mood I avoid whatever or whoever is the source of the problem. I know there have been some times when I got upset with my dad and I avoided any eye contact with him. Sometimes he would try to make fun of me because I'm mad and that makes it worse so I just try to stay out of his presence.

If I get in a bad enough mood and I recognize that it is becoming a serious problem I stop and pray to God to calm me down.

I think video games work to cool me down too.

So basically avoidance of other beings, living as another character (video games) and prayer are things I do.

[Xavier249]

umm yeah when I make a mistake or make a fool of myself I handle it worse than you. . By some miracle I pull off a total bluff, but then when I get home I just kind of explode. Either that or pray hard. . The best way I prevent myself from over reacting is I start jibbering in other languages. It is highly entertaining and even if everyone was mad a few seconds ago. Who can keep angry at someone attempting to combine French, latin, Spanish and Japanese. . . . Watashi wa espanol ningun ju suis.... . . nandemonai desu. KAWAII Salve reys trey fam? Yeah you get the point..

Sadly, there is a large bruise on my toe from slamming my wooden sword into my foot from the last time I blew up. . . ouch. Umm no I won't admit it hurt. I didn't scream or yell. I just hit my hand on the door. . . and then forgot the pain in my foot temporarily. . . umm ouch...

Let me just put it this way, we all make mistakes, otherwise we'd be God.

Also I have a story similar to yours. Recently our core team (shameless plug?) for the youth show was at a coffee house type place. Merrily we roll along talking about what we are supposed to. Then there is this guy who walks in wearing a cool shirt with red and orange flames, but a black skull on the back.
I comment on it to one of the others, "ooh, I want a shirt like that!"
Raised eybrow and a face showing disgust says in a flat tone, "Its got a skull on it."
Me of course stupidly opens mouth again "I know, isn't it cool?"
GLARE!!!!

Yeah that's kinda how it went. .. so much for a good rep, I guess.. . The funny thing is that I am not sure whether I really regret saying that or not, because the skull did look kinda cool. . . . but it probably wasn't appropriate acting that way especially since it is a questionable thing. . .

G'night.

[ally-san]

oops i do a smeagel impression too...anyways, its hard as a christian to try and be a good example in front of non-believers, believe me i screw up all the time. when i'm in a bad mood i'm the worst cuz its hard to get me outta of one until i pray. so i guess the only advice i have is to pray that God gives u patience when u feel like blowing up on someone or if ur acting in a way u wish u weren't. were not perfect and we all make mistakes just explain that to ur friends and hopefully they'll forgive u, but most importantly straighten things out w/ God first if u feel u need to.

[SwordSkill]

Normally when I start showing signs of turning rabid, I excuse myself and leave the conversation. Or I just force myself to shut up if there's no way out.

[DragonSlayer]

Thats a good choice ^^^^^ , I can get pretty ticked off at some things.... but anyway yea, I just leave the room or go home in an attempt o cool down before things get to teh point of regret.

[Sam*ron]

I still love you Mave!

[ShiroiHikari]

well, when I start getting to the point where I'm irritated by every little thing, I try to stay away from people and get lost in a game or writing or something.

[spoiler="semi-girly stuff"]I think PMS is a pretty real thing. o.O I get mad over something as small as "I couldn't get the ramen package open!" I start getting all emotional and cry over everything. I usually don't realize that I'm not myself til it's over. then I'm like "oh geez" >__o it's not fun but it happens every time.[/spoiler]

anyway, just hang in there...all things must pass, right? ask God to help you with self-control.

and we love you. *hug* ^__^

[kaji]

Mave,

This may have already been said, but for the sake of emphasizing a point:
Ask for forgiveness, learn from what has happened and ask God to give you another chance to witness to your friends. But don’t dwell on the past. You may have made a mistake, but learn from it and move on.

You sound like you have a genuine heart, trust God and don’t just give in.

I will pray for you and your friends who are not saved.

-kaji

[ZiP]

One thing you need to know Mave,
don't dwell on this, remember that Christians who dwell on mistakes they made, or mistakes of others arent going on as christians, in fact, dwelling back will stop you.

EDIT: Kaji's thinking the same as me

[kaji]

EDIT: Kaji's thinking the same as me

Hooray for ‘Like Mindedness!’

[Mave]

I’m so blessed, being able to receive encouragements from everyone.

UC, I have yet to apologize for it, strangely it just didn’t occur to me that I could do that. It’s probably too late for it now but I should try to remember that in the future if the situation ever arises. Heh, didn’t expect you to have mood swings (thought guys were more immune to it) to but hey, everyone to their own moods.

Xavier, dude you’re funny. Yeah I would laugh like crazy if someone tried to combine various languages together. I don’t know what’s really wrong with a skull. I guess it would depend on how it’s drawn. I’ve seen some pretty scary stuff…like the album covers of Metallica. Some skeleton figures in Shaman King also bother me greatly. 0.o Just too evil looking.

[spoiler= in response to ShiroiHikari, girl’s stuff] If PMS is like what you describe “you know, getting mad and crying over something trivial for no reasonâ€

[true_noir_chloe]

Hi Mave, you can always talk to me about this stuff if you like. ~_^ - certain CAA member? lol

Also, God will save people regardless of what we do. I think as believers however, we do need to apologize and show that part of us that is different - we understand forgiveness and the need for it. Your actions will not change the fact that someone will become saved, otherwise we could all just go around talking people into salvation or out of it. And, boy would that give us a lot of power, the power to actually affect the will of God. We are to be faithful and obedient, but God's will will be done with or without us. He keeps us in the ingredients because it's what is best for us. We benefit from doing the right thing, God's already done the right thing, so He doesn't need us. He only wants us and that's because He loves us. He wants us to grow and mature the way any Father who loves His child more than anything would. ^__^

No, you need to know that God is in control - in everything and in every way and then know that you're human, and we all screw up - really bad sometimes. At least you didn't get someone murdered like a certain King in the Bible. *hehe* Pray and take it easy, Mave. And then IM me and rant all you want, kay? ~_^ *hugs*

[Xavier249]

hmm the skull was kind of cartoony but it was a really dark gray with black shadows and surrounded by flame. hm m . . I better now dwell on it anymore because I keep thinking it is cooler each time. . . .

The funny thing is that the shirt I was wearing that time was my flame shirt. The flames on the two shirts looked the same, and they were both button front. . The only difference is that my flames started a the bottom and went to smoke curls and the other had flames top, bottom and on the sleeves, with a big fireball on the back with the skull. . .

okay. . . yeah I am soooo OT.

Ganbatte kudasai! Go for it/good luck please! We all make mistakes that is just a fact of life. Its those who rise up from the ashes like a phoenix and trudge on that are truly great.

[Vash is a plant]

well, when I start getting to the point where I'm irritated by every little thing, I try to stay away from people and get lost in a game or writing or something.

[spoiler="semi-girly stuff"]I think PMS is a pretty real thing. o.O I get mad over something as small as "I couldn't get the ramen package open!" I start getting all emotional and cry over everything. I usually don't realize that I'm not myself til it's over. then I'm like "oh geez" >__o it's not fun but it happens every time.[/spoiler]

anyway, just hang in there...all things must pass, right? ask God to help you with self-control.

and we love you. *hug* ^__^

Lol. [spoiler=more semi-girly stuff] Yeah, PMS has to exist.. Example: One time, while drawing, I went through 3 different moods in the course of 1 hour. I got angry because the hand wasn't comming out right, got sad because it started looking terrible, then was happy again because the face had turned out right. [/spoiler]

umm.. back OT... Like everone else is saying, don't beat yourself up over it.

[Zilch]

'My precious', my butt

Although it shouldn't have, this cracked me up...

Anyway, we all do stupid things, Mave. We just need to give to God, and realize we're human.

[Golden_Griff]

I know what you guys (or girls rather) mean about the "girly" stuff: That must be why I've been in a cranky mood today. See Mave? Everybody has those moments where they're just ticked off by anything <-- And yes, that's exactly what I've been wanting to do to my computer this week

Xavier, your language that you speak in when you're angry makes me laugh

[Xavier249]

umm. . do guys have some sort of equivalency for PMS. Or is that what Testosterone-poisoning is. . . . . ?

Well, the core team and I had our meeting for the Radio show tonight. We were really crazy. . . I am sure we have our share of things we wish we hadn't said. . . Like me mentioning that the mosaic YODA picture in the room was creeping me out. . . it just kept staring at me. . . and staring. . . and staring... . Then there was the 15 minutes where for some reason I was abnormally hyper. . . I kept saying really punny jokes.. . like:

Somehow we got on the topic of having a mascot for our teams. The girls jokingly said, "flowers" in response to my hyper like shout for "gophers!"
So . . I said something concerning having a windmill so they could have their flour. . . . . . . . . .. yeah. . .
To make matters worse we started joking about dances for our teams .. . The flowers should waltz or do the wiltz. . . .

okay. . . yeah we all have our moments of stupidy... and some of us our intentionally stupid moments.. OH, and yes we did get actual stuff related to the show organized amidst all our craziness..

ah. . . another example of stupidity on my part. . I still wish I hadn't said what follows.

Today one of the conversation partners, who seems to be being shunned (only seems....) by the japanese students, was pouting because he felt like he was losing his friends. . . (btw this has been going on for 2 days now..) so he said, "Every d--- person is taking away the friends I am trying to make. I don't have any friends. Never have."
So . . . I said "Hey, the woe is me act is getting really old."
He says. . . "I am d---ed depressed right now, shut up."

YEah... . so much for my Christian understanding. . . Although the sad part is I still don't feel like he should have let himself be in that mood, though I was out of line. . . . .. . whoah. . I will quit giving examples. . . .