I just don't know....

[Azier the Swordsman]

I pray to God everyday, I read his word... but I just don't 'feel' anything. It seems he hasn't spoken anything to me for a very long time. I often wonder if maybe I'm not doing something right, and maybe he's upset with me? Perhaps he's still upset with sins I commited in the past? (I've had a past addiction that was very difficult to break... still struggling with temptation somewhat..... wasn't drugs though...) I just wish he would speak to me, so I would at least know I'm right with him. Anyone else have this problem?

[ShiroiHikari]

I know how you feel. Sadly I don't have any advice. -__-

[Ashley]

hey Chris--

Boy I can really connect to you on this one. I've been a Christian several years, and can only count on one hand the number of times I've felt truly close to God. The majority of the time, reading/praying does feel empty and just..."nothing". I know that feeling all too well my friend.

I shared this with my youth pastor, and he said he too had struggled with that in the past. He said it made him a stronger Christian whose faith didn't depend on when he "felt" God near to him, but one that just simply trusted God because He promised to "never leave you or forsake you". So in a nutshell, keep on keepin' on, even when you can feel the Lord right there with you. I hope this helped, and I'll certainly pray for you. I know it's a frustrating feeling.

[Golden_Griff]

I understand what you mean too Azier. I go almost day by day wondering the same type of things. But it's like what Ashley said:

I shared this with my youth pastor, and he said he too had struggled with that in the past. He said it made him a stronger Christian whose faith didn't depend on when he "felt" God near to him, but one that just simply trusted God because He promised to "never leave you or forsake you".

Whenever I get that feeling of not "feeling" I try to remember God's promises.

[Mave]

I pray to God everyday, I read his word... but I just don't 'feel' anything. It seems he hasn't spoken anything to me for a very long time. I often wonder if maybe I'm not doing something right, and maybe he's upset with me? Perhaps he's still upset with sins I commited in the past? (I've had a past addiction that was very difficult to break... still struggling with temptation somewhat..... wasn't drugs though...) I just wish he would speak to me, so I would at least know I'm right with him. Anyone else have this problem?

Just for record, I don't know whether I've ever really 'felt' God in my whole life. I used to be bothered by that lacking, especially during those altar calling sessions.

However, like what others have already said, I found that those desert times are faith-building phases in my life. I've learnt to humbly and gracefully respect God's timing and when/whether He chooses to make Himself present to me anytime in my life. Regardless of whether we feel Him or not, we are called to worship and give thanks & obedience to Him. Hang on there and wait for Him. I waited and heard from Him eventually.

[RoyalWing]

Being kindof "new Christian", I'm not sure I can give you good advice. I really don't know very well what you mean when you say "feel God". What Ashley and Mave have said is enough. They are very wise.

I don't know if this might help, but recently (about 2 months ago) I discovered a little tiny book named "From Jesus with Love". It just appear around my house, I started to read it, and I like it very much. I think it my own now and keep it in my room. (no one seems to miss it, it was just lying around).
It is messages that God personally gave to people. These people shared their experiences with the compiler and put them together in a small book.
Here is one message called "Tune In." I think it suits you. (You know what's funny... I opened the book looking for another page, and this one opened. And it is, I think exactly for you, better than the one I was looking for. And I forgot the one I was looking for) here it is:

"I broadcast all the time. You just have to learn how to tune in and receive it. I have given the gift of hearing from Me to anyone who wants it. It's free. It's like a radio station, broadcasting all the time, and anyone who has a receiver can tune in and pick up the sounds, the music, the broadcast. I have placed a receiver within each person. All you have to do is learn how to use it. This requires effort, so don't be discouraged if it's not very clear right away. Keep practicing, keep coming back to Me. Keep waiting in faith, and you will begin to hear Me more and more clearly."

I hope this help. Christ does love you, you know! He is love. Just ask Him to forgive you, and I think He will. He won't let you die and rot.

I know I must be too young and inexperienced still in this to truly give good advice. So if you want, please ignore my post. I just wanted to try to help~

[Azier the Swordsman]

Thanks for your responses, everybody. They really help a lot, including yours, RoyalWing. I'm sure I'll come out of it in time, so I'll just keep seeking God. Thanks again.

[Destroyer2000]

I have the same problem, and am strugging with it. I just feel at times like there's nothing I can do to get me to Heaven. I feel so far away from God and so depressed at times...I can really relate to you. What the people have said here has helped me, also, to feel more cheerful and hopeful.

[Zane]

Azier mate,

Don't worry about it too much, feelings are rollercoasters and when you cruise then you're going down hill, but when you stuggle up hill, obviously you're going up.

Like everyonelse said its not about feeling, its headknowledge, and God will hide away to see if you can stand on your own 2 feet, and if u stumble he'll come back and help you up like a parent teaching a child to walk. Im kinda stubborn, so i hate it when i know i stuffed up and have to ask for forgivness AGAIN.... I can sense that my relathionship is on hold with him until i get over my fat-headedness and apoligise, but thats just me. It could be a test... who knows, but ask for forgivness and your relathionship is back on level ground. Best wishes mate.

[Golden_Griff]

Azier, I want to share with you guys a dream I had one night:

I was walking outside when a bomb dropped on a nearby building. I run for cover but pretty soon another bomb hits and I died in the blast. My spirit floats up to Heaven. I remember seeing my whole family which made me happy since they already made it in the gates. But I was still very worried because I haven't been judged yet. *gulp* When it's almost time I begin telling someone (I think it was Mom) that I was very scared because even though I try to live right and I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me I didn't feel like I was living or behaving like a true believer. So the time for judgement comes: I'm in a room with hundreds of other people. The judging starts: At first a couple of people dropped through the floor, then a couple more. A pause and then a few more people are eliminated. The judging was finally over and guess what? I WAS STILL THERE! I was so happy I was still in Heaven I ran around and hugged every person I saw. I think I saw Jesus (I don't know if it was a representation or the real deal) and I gave Him a big hug and telling Him how thankful I was to Him and God for letting me live in Heaven.

I use that dream as a confirmation of my faith in Christ. Whenever I get those feelings of doubt I look back to that dream that is so important to me now

[CDLviking]

Every Christian goes through periods of dry prayer. St. John of the Cross referred to this as The Dark Night of the Soul, when we really long to experience God but our prayer feels empty. God uses this time to help us grow into a more mature prayer life. St. John of the Cross's book Dark Night of the Soul is an excellent read for anyone struggling through a dry period in their prayer life.