I need help... (a.k.a., Here I am sulking again!)

[rocklee24]

I have been struggling to send a message here, but I felt kinda compelled to just... I don't know........ to just update on what I have been doing...

Pretty much my journey has been bittersweet...bitter. Still kinda bitter.

I was struggling with myself on whether or not i should post this message... Because I was bawling when I wrote this... I couldn't even finish. I was a complete mess. I wrote this last year, on November, and... well, you can judge for yourself on whether or not I wrote it on that time... i'm just exposing my vulnerability before praying with my mother... So here i say:

"You know... Haha! You know, there are times where I just want to kill my self, end this misery, but then if I did THAT, then I would hurt a lot of my friends and family who look up to me, and I have a lot to live for, and BLAH, BLAH BLAAH... I've heard it ALL before, and I have TOLD it all before. But you know WHAT?? I felt like I don't know what the F$@# else to do at this point. I'm angry, I'm hurting, I'm in pain, I'm suffering... everything in between... And guess what, so is my mother. She is not a very healthy woman, and I am trying my very best to take care of her while at the same time, her taking care of me by trying everything that she had prayed to God to for knowledge on helping me to get exposure.

All our lives are private and I felt COMPELLED to just tell it anyways because at this point I could care less who reads this. So....... Here I am sulking again."

And that's all... I haven't posted this anywhere, I thought of posting this, but didn't. I haven't continued on because I was crying because of all the things I went through. I even injured my fingers pounding the walls.

I felt... PUNISHED. For what, I don't know.

This is all due to financial meltdown... compounded with broken promises to me from people who were supposed to help us and unanswered messages... that drove me to the brink of insanity and suicidal tendencies... My mother's health has not been good lately and still doing the best she can to get my name out there to get some exposure and my school. And that is ONE of the reason's why we decided to create a non profit organization.

I have a non-profit organization that caters to kids, teens, and adults who's lives are affected by autism, and all inabilities in the like. You name it, they have it, mental, physical, emotional, etc. I have a donation's page online, but the thing is, I have no idea where to post it because I was afraid I could get in trouble for advertising anything here on this forum... So I asked where I need to go to post my donation's page here,

viewtopic.php?f=23&t=66106

but, as I suspected... no reply. So many thoughts have run through my mind at this point, is that "Do they think i'm a liar?" something like that... But I digress....

The point i'm trying to make is, I need prayer, and I need help. My mission, am the MAIN reason, is to make those individuals' lives creative, fun, and better, and at the same time, to try to provide for my mother who has been providing for me all her life. I can't do this by myself... I need your help.

i'll only post my link if anyone is interested in knowing what my organization is about.

Thanks, guys...

[Kraavdran]

Hey,

It takes courage to post something so personal, so I really commend you for that.

Just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you and your mother. Most importantly, for peace of mind. Unfortunately, I'm not in a place financially where I could help out your nonprofit.

But, I'm always open to chat if you think that would help. Feel free to pm me.

[rocklee24]

God bless you, man... please check your PM...

What I forgot to mention is that though anyone is having financial problems themselves, I completely understand. What I am also asking for is that if anyone is considering helping me out, is to just spread the word, tell a friend, family member, etc., on what my organization is about or anything else they can do to help... Unless if I receive the main admin's blessing, I can only reply with PMs.

[AdriTan]

Hey, as someone who has been through a lot of tough financial situations and has also had responsibilities thrust my way, I know how you feel.
Right now I am not in a good spot to help financially as I am going to be moving soon and only work part time, but I can pray for you.
And I can keep in contact. Please PM me anytime. And know you are loved.

[anlptgtsg]

Just try to relax yourself. Getting too worried about it won't help. Try to clear your mind to think more clearly. I know it is very hard at time but don't let things stress you out. Praying

[rocklee24]

Hello again, everyone. I am going to remove this topic soon. God gave me this great test, and i've failed before... But I have learned a lot during my life and why bad breaks and broken promises keep happening to me... my mind was set for failure instead of victory. That was my first mistake.

Until I heard Joel Osteen's two sermon topics:

"Have a Positive Mindset" and "Dropped, but Not Forgotten"

...my perspective changed DRASTICALLY. I have missed out SO MUCH on what Jesus has taught me.

Isaiah 54:17
"No weapon formed against me will prosper."

I cannot believe I missed that, but I know now... I am still in my financial situation battle, but though I missed what He has done for me in the past... but I not just know that Jesus is still in the throne and is still in control of all things, but I have to acknowledge that I am in the palm of His hands, and I have to CHOOSE to have a positive attitude. Once I do that, I have to get ready for payback.

Thank you all for your prayers, brothers and sisters. I appreciate this more than you know.

I recommend you listen to his sermons, as well. In fact, look at Mephibosheth, and you will see what I mean... and next time when I come back, my test will turn into a testimony.

[ClaecElric4God]

Praying for you, rocklee. God knows what's best.

[rocklee24]

thank you everyone... how do i remove this thread? is there an option for it?

[shooraijin]

Is there a particular reason you'd like it removed? Generally we don't do this unless there are extenuating circumstances.