*buckles down for a long post*
Sheenar wrote:Praying, my friend!
ClaecElric4God wrote:Always praying.
Thanks guys!
K. Ayato wrote:I'm glad you joined the support group. It's definitely a weight off your shoulders when you realize you're not the only one going through a particular struggle or challenge.
I understand a bit how you feel about the medication, in light of finding out your struggles are primarily based in behavior rather than chemical imbalances. I will say that if you feel you need to keep taking the meds to help balance out your day, there's no shame in that. Some people do feel they should learn to eke it out without their medications (and I've known a few who strive to do that), but if you're not one of them, that's all right. Just do your best. *Hugs*
*hugs*
Well, it was short-lived - only went to the one group session and during my time inpatient learned my insurance won't cover that therapist, so instead of delaying the inevitable I took a leap to the unknown and now have a new therapist who also works in DBT.
Oh, most definitely! - now that I am on the correct combination of meds I'm starting to see a shift, knowing EXACTLY what my treatment team was targeting (my impulsivity, as that overlaps both disorders)...don't know if I'll have to be on the meds forever, but if they can get me out of this crap, or at least help the process, so be it.
MomentOfInertia wrote:Praying.
Okami wrote:Thank you for the prayers, my friends.
...at the hospital they re-evaluated my diagnoses and determined my mental health issues are primarily behavioral over chemical, so that to me is a plus; though from my point of view, also a little more difficult since it can't just be 'medicated away'...
Well, at least you've isolated the problem; even if it is from the source that's more work for you to fix. Progress is still progress, even if it means you have to do the rest of it the hard way.
Thank you. It's hard work, that's for darn sure.
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:I'm very happy to see that you're now part of a DBT process group. Groups can be so valuable because as you said, you're not alone. There's certainly a strength in numbers in everything. And I'm also glad that you seem to be benefitting from DBT. Like even being aware of your own deepest cognitive processes (and bringing things from the subconscious to the conscious) really can be a liberating experience. Go you!
Not sure if this will *all* be very helpful for you, but have to looked into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Enneagram? They're certainly not the most research-backed forms of psychometric evaluation, but they nonetheless have a huge following (I absolutely love them). The reason I ask is because both the MBTI and the Enneagram can help someone really better understand themselves in more concrete or tangible ways. The MBTi's focus is primarily on a person's cognitive processes/information processing whereas the Enneagram focuses more on one's strengths, insecurities, drives, motivations, and fears. It outlines both your strengths and the darker aspects of yourself. But the key in all of this is self-awareness which I think is congruent with the goals of therapeutic frameworks like CBT and DBT. Recognizing my own MBTI and Enneagram type has helped me a LOT with why I do some of the things I do. For an example, an enneagram 2 might not realize that they get their sense of security out of feeling like they are needed or depended upon by other people, but once that is recognized by an enneagram 2, then he or she may begin to have a clearer picture of the transition from core beliefs >> immediate beliefs >> automatic thoughts >> behaviors. Might give a clearer picture as to why he or she seeks maladaptive codependent relationships. And of course the wonderful part of DBT is when you recognize what all those are in a mindful and nonjudgmental attitude. Feel the feels, as I like to say.
Have you by any chance also looked into neurofeedback therapy? Not sure if that's particularly a thing for BPD, but just thought I throw it out there. Maybe Shooby would know more?
Yeah.
As I said to K, the group was short-lived for me; however this last hospitalization had many, many groups and activities specializing in DBT skills, so it was basically two and a half weeks (and now this additional outpatient week) of intensive DBT work in a group setting. Yeah, I know both my MTBI and Enneagram scores (INFJ and 4) but even in the knowing I struggle...It's like I know, but I can't seem to make it connect personally.
I have, actually. Haven't gone through with anything yet, but it's been considered.
anlptgtsg wrote:Praying.
Thank you!
----
And now to everything since being hospitalized
----MomentOfInertia wrote:Ouch.
Glad to hear that you're still holding on.
Thank you, MOI! Doing what I can...
ClaecElric4God wrote:So sorry to hear, Okami. I was wondering where you were, we missed you. *hugs*
I'm always praying for you, Okami. Thanks for the update.
Don't forget God in all this. While it would obviously be foolish to write off illnesses and disorders just because you're a Christian, you do have to remember that God is stronger than all of it. Keep being the awesome person that you are and leaning on Him, and God will come through. I have faith.
I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'm praying for you, and I love you, wonderful friend.
*hugs* Thank you, Cece!
Absolutely. What I failed to mention in my last post was this hospitalization was at a
Christian mental hospital - so not only was their specialty mental health, but faith was part of the treatment plan if we chose for it to be...which I did. I loved the fact that spiritual growth was an every-other day class, rather than one sort of cast off to the side and all but forgotten once a week.
The chaplain I've worked with has consistently reminded me to look back on how God sees me, focusing on grace and forgiveness, and got me a recovery Bible. <3
Mullet Death wrote:You poor girl, I'm sorry you're going through this.
I'm not so good at offering comfort, or well, anything really, but keep holding on. Come back to chat soon, and get well.
Thank you! I'm certainly surviving through it...one small step at a time...
Sheenar wrote:Still praying for you, dear friend. You are loved. <3
Thank you, my friend. One moment at a time. ...As one care provider put it, "Every second is a new opportunity."